Jokes and Light Humour

[Henia 11]

I'll be the first to contribute.

GLOBAL ECONOMICS DE-MYSTIFIED

======================

SOCIALISM:

You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:

You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:

You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:

You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:

You have 2 cows, the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other

and throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,

and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk

of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped

dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of

an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever

cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat

once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for

lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You

count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn

you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge others for

storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full

employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who

reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows.. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two cows.. Both are mad

[chuckandkim 0]

I'm surprised nobody responded to this post... FUNNY and true!!!

[pj1959us 0]

These are great

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

I missed this before.

[almaty 19]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...i thought a chopf#3k started a joke thread previously

[Savanphil 3]

Thanksgiving Divorce

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and myself are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams. "We cannot stand the sight of each other," the old man says.

"We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up the phone.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Heck, they are not getting a divorce," she shouts. I'll take care of this when I get home.

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting a divorce !" Don't do a single thing until I get there . I am bringing my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME ? And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, smiles and turns to his wife. "They're coming for Thanksgiving, AND paying their own way."

[tom&tata 2]

cow cartoon image called Cowkimon