Tony Porter makes a call to men everywhere: Don't "act like a man."

[james&olya 1,121]

No one said you had to like it.

Or agree with it!!!

[Obama 2012 1,714]

Or agree with it!!!

I know *gasp* that people know/pay attention to how many things today's society are just a rehash of past societies.

That would destroy the mind to actually admit/understand history.

Funny thing is, even if people knew/paid attention, it still wouldn't change a damn thing.

Some things will always been acceptable and always be unacceptable depending on the time in history you are and which part of the world you live in. It's a never ending struggle.

[SMR 368]

video

Tony Porter makes a call to men everywhere: Don't "act like a man." Telling powerful stories from his own life, he shows how this mentality, drummed into so many men and boys, can lead men to disrespect, mistreat and abuse women and each other. His solution: Break free of the "man box."

http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html

Tony Porter just has a skewed perception of what acting like a man is. Real men don't rape and disrespect women. This is just a product of his twisted upbringing.

As far as controlling emotions in public, I see that as a good thing. There are times when it's appropriate to express emotions and appropriate ways to express them. Certainly I think it's overdone when a man feels he can't cry at his son's funeral. But in general men should control their emotions in public.

Naturally, there are misconceptions about the way men are supposed to act and Porter does a good job of demonstrating that. But that doesn't mean that there aren't ways that men should act. There are. But they aren't what Porter laid out in this speech.

[Jenn! 918]

I think it's true that there are born differences between men and women. But our society has evolved past hunting and foraging. Why do we feel a need to continue to foster certain aggressive behaviors in males?

[The_Dude 1,142]

I think it's true that there are born differences between men and women. But our society has evolved past hunting and foraging. Why do we feel a need to continue to foster certain aggressive behaviors in males?

So what you're saying is that Paul can go out and gather berries too?

[james&olya 1,121]

Tony Porter just has a skewed perception of what acting like a man is. Real men don't rape and disrespect women. This is just a product of his twisted upbringing.

As far as controlling emotions in public, I see that as a good thing. There are times when it's appropriate to express emotions and appropriate ways to express them. Certainly I think it's overdone when a man feels he can't cry at his son's funeral. But in general men should control their emotions in public.

Naturally, there are misconceptions about the way men are supposed to act and Porter does a good job of demonstrating that. But that doesn't mean that there aren't ways that men should act. There are. But they aren't what Porter laid out in this speech.

I think Tony Porter's 'twisted up-bringing' has relevance to society as a whole. These attitudes he refers to may not be held by everyone but they are nonetheless quite pervasive in our society. It is up to all of us to try to change those attitudes. Old prejudices and attitudes change slowly. For a time the new way of thinking will be derided as 'politically correct'. But eventually, hopefully, we can change for the better. There has been a huge change in thinking about the issue of racism in this country during my lifetime so I know this is possible. I appreciate voices like Tony's speaking out so clearly on this issue.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

I think it's true that there are born differences between men and women. But our society has evolved past hunting and foraging. Why do we feel a need to continue to foster certain aggressive behaviors in males?

Not really. We just do it for 'sport' now in many cases.

We still have to farm fields, slaughter animals, etc.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

I think Tony Porter's 'twisted up-bringing' has relevance to society as a whole. These attitudes he refers to may not be held by everyone but they are nonetheless quite pervasive in our society. It is up to all of us to try to change those attitudes. Old prejudices and attitudes change slowly. For a time the new way of thinking will be derided as 'politically correct'. But eventually, hopefully, we can change for the better. There has been a huge change in thinking about the issue of racism in this country during my lifetime so I know this is possible. I appreciate voices like Tony's speaking out so clearly on this issue.

You'd be surprised how little has actually changed in old prejucides and attitudes. People just keep it in the privacy of their own home versus the public eye. Of course, you'd also be surprised how it's only 'public eye' perception that has really changed overall to begin with. Even back when slavery was going on, it wasn't all so 'racist/prejudice' as we try to make it out to be today. There were plenty who couldn't stand slavery, hated it, and we're not talking about northerners either. Of course there were plenty of northerners who had no qualms with slavery either...

[james&olya 1,121]

Not really. We just do it for 'sport' now in many cases.

We still have to farm fields, slaughter animals, etc.

I certainly hope you don't mean to imply that you think it is 'sport' to dehumanize and victimize women! That is, after all, what this thread is about.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Since when does "acting like a man" mean mistreating women? Since when is mistreating women "acting like a man"?

I act like a man, which means I do not abuse women, if fact there is little they can do to upset me at all. Why would a real man get upset over women's drama and hysterics?

I will advise him to steer clear of FSU women and go for those that speak English as a primary language.

[james&olya 1,121]

You'd be surprised how little has actually changed in old prejucides and attitudes. People just keep it in the privacy of their own home versus the public eye. Of course, you'd also be surprised how it's only 'public eye' perception that has really changed overall to begin with. Even back when slavery was going on, it wasn't all so 'racist/prejudice' as we try to make it out to be today. There were plenty who couldn't stand slavery, hated it, and we're not talking about northerners either. Of course there were plenty of northerners who had no qualms with slavery either...

I can't speak for the south and Texas in particular. I have a sense that what you say has some truth there and that is why I have no intention of living there. I do know how attitudes have changed in the upper midwest and I can assure you, that while there is still progress that needs to be made, much has already changed for the better. Some people will always be racists and bigots but I am glad that it is no longer socially acceptable to express those views in decent society where I live.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

I certainly hope you don't mean to imply that you think it is 'sport' to dehumanize and victimize women! That is, after all, what this thread is about.

Yes, that's exactly what I meant.

Get real.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

I can't speak for the south and Texas in particular. I have a sense that what you say has some truth there and that is why I have no intention of living there. I do know how attitudes have changed in the upper midwest and I can assure you, that while there is still progress that needs to be made, much has already changed for the better. Some people will always be racists and bigots but I am glad that it is no longer socially acceptable to express those views in decent society where I live.

On the contrary, most closeted racists I have seen come from the mid-west where there is a large black population. Blacks and whites act chummy in public, but away from each other it's a different story. I've also seen more whites in the midwest too afraid to point something out with fear of being labelled a racist. They'd rather let hooligans takeover a downtown area than do soemthing to stop it.

Just in recent years, I've seen redistricting done in school districts in the midwest to make sure 'certain' kids don't go to certain schools. It's sad, but it still happens today and in the least likely of places. Things like that, that have been abandoned in the south in the past few decades over time...

Hell, the map that AJ posted yesterday is very good at pointing out at how segregated we are as a species even today.

Don't be fooled by what's 'shown' in public. A books cover and be very deceiving.

I'm not saying your little area is like this, I'm just saying it's quite prevelant all over the country still today.

[Danno 1,228]

I suspect Tony had an upbringing which is far different than most.

You will find his style of "man box" in cultures where it's normal for boys to grow up WITHOUT fathers.

My very typical and traditional father and my friends fathers, taught and presented a much different (and proper) Man box for me.

THis guy needs to take his message to places where the Government..... has replaced the father.

From the parts I watched, he simply mixes good and normal traits in with oppression and worse.

THis type of message will find a home among the womans-studies crowd... (including weak pale-faced) men" educated beyond their capacity.

How receptive would this guys message be if it were delivered by one of his typical admirers? (Again weak, pale-faced often liberal, men).

[james&olya 1,121]

On the contrary, most closeted racists I have seen come from the mid-west where there is a large black population. Blacks and whites act chummy in public, but away from each other it's a different story. I've also seen more whites in the midwest too afraid to point something out with fear of being labelled a racist. They'd rather let hooligans takeover a downtown area than do soemthing to stop it.

Just in recent years, I've seen redistricting done in school districts in the midwest to make sure 'certain' kids don't go to certain schools. It's sad, but it still happens today and in the least likely of places. Things like that, that have been abandoned in the south in the past few decades over time...

Hell, the map that AJ posted yesterday is very good at pointing out at how segregated we are as a species even today.

Don't be fooled by what's 'shown' in public. A books cover and be very deceiving.

I'm not saying your little area is like this, I'm just saying it's quite prevelant all over the country still today.

I hate to burst your little bubble but I must point out that a black man with an arabic sounding name was elected president here over a white war hero! Yes, it really happened! Maybe you think people were just trying to be politically correct in the voting booth? Or is it that when decent people encounter out-spoken, loudmouthed racists they hesitate to speak out for fear of becoming the next target of their ignorant rants? Racism is still very much a problem but to deny the progress that has been made is only wishful thinking by those who cling to old prejudices.