Helping your filipina adjust to life in the US/not get too homesick

[BigJohn 4]

Looking for suggestions on how to keep my spouse from getting too homesick from the US. She'll be able to webcam chat with family and I'll be trying to help her find some filipino style foods, but what else?

What are good ways for her to find/meet other filipinas in our area?

My main concern is her getting homesick. She says she won't, but she's never lived away from family, much less outside the philippines, so I'm not believing that I've lived away from where I consider home quite a bit including in the philippines and I know how it is.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

1) TV, get GMA TFC etc for her to be able to watch.

2) Contact with family, make sure she can easily contact her family back home often.

3) Access to local resources.

---a) Find the local Filipino Community, local Catholic Church is a good way to do this if you don't havea local Filipino store. Find the one that has a monthly Filipino service.

---b) Help her get her driver's license or teach her how to use the local transit. They are used to being fairly mobile back home so living in suburban america without driving will get problematic.

---c) Filipino/Asian store so she can cook the food she's loved her whole life.

4) Find a local Asian Restaurant that she likes, try several and let her pick her favorites.

5) Get a rice cooker and other things that will help her cook they way she wants.

My wife says 3b was probably the biggest help then 4.

Edited November 21, 2010 by Bob 4 Anna

[gary9891 10]

1) TV, get GMA TFC etc for her to be able to watch.

2) Contact with family, make sure she can easily contact her family back home often.

3) Access to local resources.

---a) Find the local Filipino Community, local Catholic Church is a good way to do this if you don't havea local Filipino store. Find the one that has a monthly Filipino service.

---b) Help her get her driver's license or teach her how to use the local transit. They are used to being fairly mobile back home so living in suburban america without driving will get problematic.

---c) Filipino/Asian store so she can cook the food she's loved her whole life.

4) Find a local Asian Restaurant that she likes, try several and let her pick her favorites.

5) Get a rice cooker and other things that will help her cook they way she wants.

My wife says 3b was probably the biggest help then 4.

3c really helped my wife. We are lucky that there are 2 (1 asian and 1 filipino) stores close by where she can get her spices, sauces etc. The stores also have phone cards (5$ for 42 min) which she enjoys. Man-o-man the size of our Jasmine rice bill each month!

[JSVP08 3]

1) TV, get GMA TFC etc for her to be able to watch.

2) Contact with family, make sure she can easily contact her family back home often.

3) Access to local resources.

---a) Find the local Filipino Community, local Catholic Church is a good way to do this if you don't havea local Filipino store. Find the one that has a monthly Filipino service.

---b) Help her get her driver's license or teach her how to use the local transit. They are used to being fairly mobile back home so living in suburban america without driving will get problematic.

---c) Filipino/Asian store so she can cook the food she's loved her whole life.

4) Find a local Asian Restaurant that she likes, try several and let her pick her favorites.

5) Get a rice cooker and other things that will help her cook they way she wants.

My wife says 3b was probably the biggest help then 4.

not being able to move around on ur own is very frustrating (esp if u came fr mobile to immobile situation ) ...help her get around ur place on her own if you will be busy at work on a daily basis .... being able to decide to get off on her foot ...explore the new environment is one way to accomodate and help her adapt, discover and learn.

[adiiann 163]

Looking for suggestions on how to keep my spouse from getting too homesick from the US. She'll be able to webcam chat with family and I'll be trying to help her find some filipino style foods, but what else?

What are good ways for her to find/meet other filipinas in our area?

My main concern is her getting homesick. She says she won't, but she's never lived away from family, much less outside the philippines, so I'm not believing that I've lived away from where I consider home quite a bit including in the philippines and I know how it is.

Sometimes it came to my mind that my husband got a bargain 'coz he doesn't need to do this stuff for me so I will not get homesick. LoL. But I really didn't get homesick. I got a lot of stuff to do to make myself busy before I started working.

Anyway, how about you teach her to drive(if she doesn't know how to drive) so when she knows how to drive, she could go anywhere and do errands for your household. It will probably helps her find job if she wanted to work. And then, let her do experiments in cooking. For almost more than a year that I was home most of the time, I made my own cooking book. Get her a new pet, where she could train. My husband got me a cute hard-headed beagle, took so much of my time to teach her some tricks.

Probably, ask her what hobbies she likes to do. If she likes craft, probably buy her kit.

[fil01 16]

set her up a place outdoors for when she wants to fry up some tuyo

Edited November 22, 2010 by fil01

[pookaphilus 12]

2) Contact with family, make sure she can easily contact her family back home often.

3) Access to local resources.

---a) Find the local Filipino Community, local Catholic Church is a good way to do this if you don't have local Filipino store. Find the one that has a monthly Filipino service.

---b) Help her get her driver's license or teach her how to use the local transit. They are used to being fairly mobile back home so living in suburban america without driving will get problematic.

---c) Filipino/Asian store so she can cook the food she's loved her whole life.

4) Find a local Asian Restaurant that she likes, try several and let her pick her favorites.

5) Get a rice cooker and other things that will help her cook they way she wants

my husband did 2,3,4 & 5(no # 1 coz we have other priorities than having that!!..lol)...I really appreciated all the things he did...even if we are still on our AOS now, I don't get bored nor regret that I'm here..I'm starting to have hobbies(cooking,planting, painting,helping him with his work, etc.)specially that I don't have work as of now...and my husband loves me and also finds time to spend quality time with me despite his busy work...sometimes, it's more important that our partner spends time with us and enjoy married life than "him providing everything and having all of those but he isn't giving any time & care at all"..in his own ways and how he treats me, my husband makes me feel loved and cared in our home that's why I don't feel bored at all..sometimes I would miss home(pretty normal ), my work before(I'm a teacher..always in school..) but my husband would always reach me out and help me get through with it..Marriage is about loving,learning, being open-minded,helping one another, accepting your partner(even her attitude..lol) and appreciating each other so that you will have a long lasting happy life..it's a roller-coaster imperfect world..hahaha..want a cup of coffee??..hehehe

btw,(caution:.. ), about finding other fellow Filipinos(or even other nationalities to befriend) within your community ..just make sure they are of good influence and good people or else you will just regret that your wife will be with the wrong people and might cause problems to your relationship...God bless us all in every journey we will take!!!.. :thumbs:

[SuperDuper! 230]

set her up a place outdoors for when she wants to fry up some tuyo

+1

AKA, "A dirty kitchen" to cook stinky foods outside!

[piglett 16]

1) TV, get GMA TFC etc for her to be able to watch.

2) Contact with family, make sure she can easily contact her family back home often.

3) Access to local resources.

---a) Find the local Filipino Community, local Catholic Church is a good way to do this if you don't havea local Filipino store. Find the one that has a monthly Filipino service.

---b) Help her get her driver's license or teach her how to use the local transit. They are used to being fairly mobile back home so living in suburban america without driving will get problematic.

---c) Filipino/Asian store so she can cook the food she's loved her whole life.

4) Find a local Asian Restaurant that she likes, try several and let her pick her favorites.

5) Get a rice cooker and other things that will help her cook they way she wants.

My wife says 3b was probably the biggest help then 4.

I would also like to add the following

6) teach her to split firewood

7) teach her how to stack that firewood

8) if you live in a northern state she can also learn how much fun shoveling the driveway is

she will be sooooooo tired that she has little or no time for homesickness

he he he he

piglett

[Ban Hammer 12,840]

piglett

[one...two...tree 2,762]

We moved from Southern California, where there's over a million Filipinos, to the relatively small town of Flagstaff, Arizona where we didn't think we'd meet any Filipinos. Then after a few months, during Mass when visitors are asked to raise their hands, we heard someone was visiting from the Philippines. So we came over to them after Mass and from there, we've since been invited to two different Filipino get-togethers.

So I would say if you take your wife to Mass, she's bound to run into some other Filipinos. Frequenting Asian food markets is also a good place. And buffet restaurants ....you are almost guaranteed to run into a Filipino there. We just ran into some Filipinos while at the mall, as we were ordering Japanese grill.

Having other Filipinos for support is the most important thing to help her adjust and not feel so homesick.

[Psoas10 17]

It depends where you live in the US, and if she lived away from her family, which it seems that she did not. The biggest thing, is to keep her from being bored at home, when you work. My wife was lucky that she was in Hawaii, but her biggest problem was waiting to adjust her status.

[rlogan 2,036]

I would also like to add the following

6) teach her to split firewood

7) teach her how to stack that firewood

She's definitely not bored. Drives stick-shift vehicles, snowmachines, four-wheelers, bobcat, 'dozer too.

I would second the caution about making "friends" with other Filipinos. Make friends on the basis of character, not their nationality.

Mine never got homesick despite being the most family-centric person I have ever met. She does webchat, email, facebook, and phone when the internet is down at the cabin.

I think the main thing is to set goals and plan together. People get depressed when they drift around aimlessly. You do all this work to get her here and suddenly it's over. So the license, education or work, cultivating skills - every day has purpose when you set some goals.

[sea-monkey 13]

This might sound harsh but tell her to suck it up and man up. She needs to assimilate if she is really to going to enjoy it here. If her heart is truely stuck in PI, thats where she needs to be.

Get her out of the house by donating her time at a Goodwill, soup kitchen or something. So she gets to interact with people and learn things about normal folks here.

But also buy a Zojirushi rice cooker

You'll use it everyday. If you have 2 people, buy a 3-5 cup model.

[piglett 16]

She's definitely not bored. Drives stick-shift vehicles, snowmachines, four-wheelers, bobcat, 'dozer too.

I think the main thing is to set goals and plan together. People get depressed when they drift around aimlessly. You do all this work to get her here and suddenly it's over. So the license, education or work, cultivating skills - every day has purpose when you set some goals.

wow she is a real worker !!! that is a big pile of wood. I only put up about 5 cord here in New Hampshire.

once my wife arrives that may become 6 cord or more. how has your wife been in the cold? mine thinks 70f is cold

i'll start my wife out driving the lawn tractor & the put her on my old 40 horse farmall.

after that i guess it will be the old corolla that i have. & if she can drive all of those i'll see how she does on one of my old toyota pickups, they are tough as nails so i'm not worried about her hurting them.

I take one to the scrap yard once a month with about 2500lbs of brake rotors piled up in the bed, I would haul more but i don't want to overload the old thing

piglett

PS: does your wife still wear flip flops in Alaska?

mine thinks she will wear them here but i think most of the time it will be too cold for those.

she has about 30 pair of them