Depression

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Stina I really do feel for you, been where you are several years ago. It may seem harsh what Shon has posted, but she is right. In order for you to get better physically as well as emotionally you have to stop worrying over the things you have no control over. I know it is easier said that done, but give it a go.

A good place to start is with your church family, confide in them when your husband is away. No matter how bad you feel physically get out and start moving and doing, whether it is volunteering somewhere or planting a flower garden get your mind doing something else.

I am no doctor, but can guess since they can find nothing physically going on your anxiety/depression is causing your physical problems. If the mind wont stop, the body will certainly shut it down for you. You should really focus on treating your anxieties first even if it is a mild medication, to take the edge off. It took me three months of Sarafem, and four years later I can tell you nothing bothers me anymore. We have went through three years that should have been the toughest for me, and I sailed right through. Medicine can just help you get a grip, and see the big picture nothing wrong with taking some in order to sort all those little files strewn about in your brain. The doctor who prescribed me the sarafem, also prescribed Ambien she only gave me seven pills with specific instructions that if I wasn't asleep by x time to only then take one. Three nights and pills later, I was sleeping like a baby and tossed out the rest of them.

Let's face it, you have went through immigration moving from your country and family that has got to be very stressful, you might not of thought so at the time or felt you dealt with it well. Perhaps it has finally caught up with you, and now everything else seems like a mountain when it is only a mole hill.

I wish you the best, and take it from me this can all get better just take care of your mind!

Bethanie

Edited August 16, 2006 by Tim and Bethanie

[Nagishkaw 510]

Winston Churchill called it his " Black Dog " . Know that you are not alone here. Many are going through the same thing during this grueling process, myself included. But unlike some, it is a way of life for me. I wish i had answers for you. Medication may help, however it is a remedy, not a cure.

[Fandango 1,440]

God never gives us more than we can handle, Stina...I know you're religious, so I thought that would bring you some comfort. You WILL get through this...you have each other to lean on.

Praying for you!

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Winston Churchill called it his " Black Dog " . Know that you are not alone here. Many are going through the same thing during this grueling process, myself included. But unlike some, it is a way of life for me. I wish i had answers for you. Medication may help, however it is a remedy, not a cure.

So long as she isn't suffering from a mental disease, it can be a cure. Sounds as though the depression/anxiety is coming from circumstances rather than mental illness. You are correct most of us suffer some form of depression through this process, why not take the edge off with $20 bucks of meds a month if that is all it takes?

Her problems are compounding she got physically ill (likely from stress), which made her mentally drained, which leads to more physical ailments and lack of sleep, the lack of sleep then causes all of the above to escalade and repeat. It is a never ending cycle if you don't break the problem in one form or another. Since she can't seem to get the treatment for the physical problems she needs to focus on the sleep and anxiety.

My doctor once looked at me and simply said "fight or flight, which one are you going to choose?", this was the turning point. You have to face the big problems head on, and learn the little problems aren't truly going to cause you any harm they are just useless worry, or you climb under the cover and hide from yourself and the world and give up. There are only two choices you deal with it, or you don't.

B

[munchkins 1]

HUGS Stina - no advice - Im sure you've heard it all hun - just hang in there

I agree with Jaylen Stina, you have probably heard it all before and I think maybe the only people who understand just what you are feeling like and going through, are those who have been there and done it I have but all I can say to you is hang in there, you will work through this but you have to try yourself, if you understand what I am saying. Rant and rave all you want on here, it will help believe you me and at the end of the day we are all in this together and we will be here for you.

I am also sure that not one person on this board would mind a pm if you think it may help you, even if it is in the middle of the night Stay with it Stina, there is a song that says it all really when you are so down

The only way is UP, so keep on going

*****HUGS****** to you

[Leafgal 3]

Stina, I agree you are stronger than you think. You went through this whole process to get to the US, try to keep that in focus and it will all work out somehow. You need to focus on something you enjoy, or maybe volunteer with somewhere. Good luck and you never have to keep your mouth shut, you can rant here anytime.

[snz1802 0]

All the ####### that has been going on in my life for the past 5 months (Immigration, financial problems, my illness...etc), has finally gotten to me. I can barely keep my head up. So many things are just piling up and I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. keith works ten hours a day so i am usually alone in my thoughts. I dont sleep at night because I am up with worry, I am always in physical pain because of whatever is wrong with me, my anxiety attacks, our pastor got arrested so our arrangement with being the childrens pastors and not having to pay rent because of it is no longer valid and they are selling the apartment we are currently living in to pay off some stuff, Canada is now demanding money from me because they said they gave me too much money on my income tax and I cant afford it right now, Doctor's bills up the A$$, I havent heard anything about my AOS for almost two months, I miss my family and my friends, I am fighting with my mother, my self-esteem has yet again plummeted, I'm exhausted and stressed out.

I really dont know how to go on.

Sorry for the rambling, I just had to let it out, and Keith is at work so I just posted it here.

what is depressing you? you are with your husband. I dont know why you are depressed

about these panny yanny issues. stop fightin with your mom - thats insane! there are people on here that dont have a mom or family. your family miss you if you wanna see them then GO. but, your being depressed over bills and #######- things you cant control. you will always have bills and taxes thats life. Your depression will start to get in your marriage. I know your husband want to see you happy. so figure out how to do that.

Sometimes, depression just isn't as "simple" as that and as simple as "figuring out how to get rid of it"

[vartan 0]

Its a hard thing you are going through and I am sorry to hear about all the problems that have been arising.. Keith is there for you .. I can't even say that I know how you feel about being away from family because I still live near mine.. My fiance of course is the one that has/will be leaving her family again for me. All I can say is I know its hard right now but the payoff will be great.. we don't go through hard times for nothing, they make us stronger ..

[Ric Flair 0]

Wooooo!

Ric Flair says:

It sounds like life has you in a submission hold and you are ready to tap out. Flair says get your feet on the ropes and have the ref break the hold. Get a little air and then walk that aisle to face your foes.

You have to take things one match at a time. You can't get in the ring with 30 wrestlers and expect to win (unless you are Ric Flair and you are not).

Take these issues on one at a time and learn a finishing move such as the figure four leglock to finish them off once and for all and hear the bell ring for the victory. Every win gets you one step closer to the prize - a title match for your life.

This is sound advice. Ric Flair is a 22 time champion of the world and he knows how to deal.

You might feel down, and you might crawl into bed but when life tries to give you a clothesline - turn it around and give it a chop instead.

Woooooo!

[allynella 1]

what is depressing you? you are with your husband. I dont know why you are depressed

about these panny yanny issues. stop fightin with your mom - thats insane! there are people on here that dont have a mom or family. your family miss you if you wanna see them then GO. but, your being depressed over bills and #######- things you cant control. you will always have bills and taxes thats life. Your depression will start to get in your marriage. I know your husband want to see you happy. so figure out how to do that.

I'm sorry. I just needed to let it out. From now on I will keep my mouth shut.

you know what you need to do. you need to do it before it cause problems in your marriage.

gets some pills or something.

Pills are not always the solution. I remember being depressed and given a prescription for pills. I did not fill it. Now, I'm over my depression and totally happy with my new life. Bills will always there.

Stina, {{{hugs}}} for you. Hang in there, girl

[chri'stina 190]

Hey Stina

I am not sure what to say. You definitely have a lot going on right now that would stress anyone out. When we don't feel like we have things under control, it is very hard to deal with. As someone else mentioned, is there anyone there who you can talk to from church? I'm sorry to hear about the pastor situation. That alone is stressful. But please do seek help either from a friend who will just listen and hug you, or by praying, or by seeking professional counseling, etc. I know you came on VJ to vent but none of us are able to give you a real hug, and real hugs are like medicine sometimes. I will be praying for you. *hugs* -Christina

and as scary as it sounds, ric flair gave some good advice

[LaL 418]

wow go on Mr Flair!

[Cristy 4]

All the ####### that has been going on in my life for the past 5 months (Immigration, financial problems, my illness...etc), has finally gotten to me. I can barely keep my head up. So many things are just piling up and I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. keith works ten hours a day so i am usually alone in my thoughts. I dont sleep at night because I am up with worry, I am always in physical pain because of whatever is wrong with me, my anxiety attacks, our pastor got arrested so our arrangement with being the childrens pastors and not having to pay rent because of it is no longer valid and they are selling the apartment we are currently living in to pay off some stuff, Canada is now demanding money from me because they said they gave me too much money on my income tax and I cant afford it right now, Doctor's bills up the A$$, I havent heard anything about my AOS for almost two months, I miss my family and my friends, I am fighting with my mother, my self-esteem has yet again plummeted, I'm exhausted and stressed out.

I really dont know how to go on.

Sorry for the rambling, I just had to let it out, and Keith is at work so I just posted it here.

what is depressing you? you are with your husband. I dont know why you are depressed

about these panny yanny issues. stop fightin with your mom - thats insane! there are people on here that dont have a mom or family. your family miss you if you wanna see them then GO. but, your being depressed over bills and #######- things you cant control. you will always have bills and taxes thats life. Your depression will start to get in your marriage. I know your husband want to see you happy. so figure out how to do that.

Sometimes, depression just isn't as "simple" as that and as simple as "figuring out how to get rid of it"

no kidding.

[Nizzy 1]

Hey Stina, don't apologize for posting just because Shon can't be sensitive to your needs. There are still others who care for you and understand where you are coming from. Yeah sure you are with hubby but he is away for the bulk of the day and that's even harder to deal with when you are going through all of this. I really don't know what to say...I feel like I should say something to take away how you are feeling but I can't. The best I can do is say just hang in there and things will get better...all of this is a test to see how strong you are so stay up and moving because the greater things are yet to come. My husband and I are going through LOTS of financial stuff and then I found out I am pregnant...we can't afford it but we know that we have to keep going.

As for sitting home all day, can you find somewhere to volunteer? I know that made me feel better when I was failing to land a job and staying home was becomming depressing. Find what makes you happy and go for it...believe it or not things WILL get better.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Wooooo!

Ric Flair says:

It sounds like life has you in a submission hold and you are ready to tap out. Flair says get your feet on the ropes and have the ref break the hold. Get a little air and then walk that aisle to face your foes.

You have to take things one match at a time. You can't get in the ring with 30 wrestlers and expect to win (unless you are Ric Flair and you are not).

Take these issues on one at a time and learn a finishing move such as the figure four leglock to finish them off once and for all and hear the bell ring for the victory. Every win gets you one step closer to the prize - a title match for your life.

This is sound advice. Ric Flair is a 22 time champion of the world and he knows how to deal.

You might feel down, and you might crawl into bed but when life tries to give you a clothesline - turn it around and give it a chop instead.

Woooooo!

You are so sensitive, well said in your wrestling sort of way.