divorce rate/mena/couples

[Karonya and Adel 8]

Does anyone have any idea what the divorce rate is for MENA couples? and maybe more specifically for female american citizen and MENA male? Just curious... i would be part of that statistic

and i hope no one is offended by this question. i am certainly not suggesting it's high or low or anything in between. a lot of extra stresses/problems/pressures in our marriages that others don't have... just wondering!

[Always+Forever 7]

maybe a poll where ppl can click....happily married or divorced would work better for figuring a comparision...just an idea And i'm assuming that would need to be ones already in the US. just an idea.

Monica

[Karonya and Adel 8]

i'm not sure how to do that... still a newbie

tho i see now my status says junior member!! woot! yay for me!

Edited July 23, 2010 by Karonya and Adel

[LaL 418]

Some stay together. Some get divorced. Some go for seconds and thirds too!

[Mithra 1,185]

I believe it depends more on how compatible a couple is (in every aspect) than whether or not one of the components is MENA. Also, whether or not both parties entered into the marriage with good intentions (not seeking immigration only).

About added stresses, etc. Although we all can't avoid the stress of immigration we can avoid the stress of marrying someone who is completely different than ourselves. For example, if I were to marry an uber religious Muslim man who expected an obedient wife who was religious and dressed the part, etc. I would be setting myself up for disaster. Trouble is many women enter into a marriage with someone who has impossible expectations of them thus the stress, fighting, etc. Love is not enough alone.

Edited July 23, 2010 by je veux ton amour

[Crossed_fingers 128]

There is a paper floating around the internet on Dutch divorce rates, stating that 74% of marriages between Dutch women and first-generation Moroccan men end in divorce within 10 years. I don't have a link to it, but it's easy to find on Google with a search along the lines of, "Divorce rate Moroccan men Dutch women." I have no information on the credibility of the report or, assuming that number is correct, why it is so high.

[Ban Hammer 12,836]

Does anyone have any idea what the divorce rate is for MENA couples? and maybe more specifically for female american citizen and MENA male? Just curious... i would be part of that statistic

and i hope no one is offended by this question. i am certainly not suggesting it's high or low or anything in between. a lot of extra stresses/problems/pressures in our marriages that others don't have... just wondering!

difficult to say, as some drop off/disappear from vj. just from my own observations, i'd place it around 50%

[LaL 418]

difficult to say, as some drop off/disappear from vj. just from my own observations, i'd place it around 50%

I don't think anyone can get a meaningful number here. The fraction that is shown on VJ are NEW marriages - and yeah in the relatively short time they spend on VJ - I would say 50% is right for NEW marriages (first few years or so?).

Although I would bet its even a bit higher than that in the first few years.

Edited July 23, 2010 by LaL

[Staashi 371]

I don't think anyone can get a meaningful number here. The fraction that is shown on VJ are NEW marriages - and yeah in the relatively short time they spend on VJ - I would say 50% is right for NEW marriages (first few years or so?).

Although I would bet its even a bit higher than that in the first few years.

I'm with you on this LaL - I find that many people won't show their face around VJ anymore when their marriages fail. It's like they feel too ashamed to admit that their marriage ended in divorce especially when they were proclaiming their eternal love in the beginning. Some are used and abused, some the cultural difference are just too much, some the age differences are too much to bear, and others are cheaters. It happens. There is no golden ticket when it comes to marriage and most especially in MENA marriages. I've seen that a vast majority have major issues, while a select few are on the path to long-term marriage.

[Mithra 1,185]

I don't believe that is the only reason that people stop posting on VJ. Some people probably feel that they no longer need to post on an immigration board if they no longer require immigration information. I don't think it's fair to say that because people no longer post that must mean their marriage has failed and/or they're being abused, etc.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

You're probably both right in reasons for the different people.

Off the top of my head I know of 13 divorced or soon to be divorced couples in MENA just within the last year and the vast majority of them within the last 6 months. Out of that group only 4 still post here from time to time. I'm not going to say much else because I'm still friends with a lot of them and talk to them on a regular basis.

Edited July 23, 2010 by Cleocatra

[Mithra 1,185]

Cleo, that number is staggering.

Do you all think it's simply a MENA relationship thing, in general or the way the relationship was formed (meeting online or on vacation and not really getting to know each other properly prior to marriage) and played out that makes most of the difference?

[Staashi 371]

I don't believe that is the only reason that people stop posting on VJ. Some people probably feel that they no longer need to post on an immigration board if they no longer require immigration information. I don't think it's fair to say that because people no longer post that must mean their marriage has failed and/or they're being abused, etc.

Even if you're not in the immigration process anymore some of us like it here , which in my case, my VJ was done July 4, 2008, when hubby got his citizenship. I've stuck around since then. Aside from that, I do know of alot of couples who have split up and one of the major reasons that they don't come to VJ anymore is because they're embarassed. They love the community of VJ and want to rejoin, but they just can't bring themselves to do it - too many questions, too many I told you so's. C'est la vie.

[Mithra 1,185]

I don't disagree that some people stick around after they're done. I'm here and I'm doing absolutely nothing regarding immigration at the moment and probably won't for another year or two, if at all. I don't agree that just because someone no longer sticks around for one reason or another that means their marriage has failed. They may have grown bored of the conversations or just simply moved on and no longer care since they're all done with immmigration. I just feel it's very unfair to assume that because someone no longer posts that their marriage has failed or that they must have something to be embarrased about. About the people whose marriages have failed and want to still be members, well I can see how it would be awkward but they do have experience and something to add to the discussions.

Edited July 23, 2010 by je veux ton amour

[LaL 418]

I would agree with that je veux. I believe a far greater amount simply move on from VJ because they just moved on - not indicative of relationship status.