One and Done: The Case For Having Only One Child.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Me too!

(I'm guessing this is a reference to something from the past here? lol)

It was the more curious bit of info in a list of physical stats.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

It was the more curious bit of info in a list of physical stats.

I remember a list that was posted of desirable traits -- distressingly, I fulfilled about 2/3rds of them.

[chri'stina 190]

Yeah, he was just a menace through and through:P

We don't have much in common and don't keep in touch much either.

He didn't come to my wedding because he can't survive the long flight halfway around the world without smoking.

And I didn't come to his because he decided to have it 2 months after my wedding so I was obviously in the middle of AOS and can't leave!

Neither of us really cared that the other wasn't there.. But my mom is still heartbroken about it to this day

She's also one of those people who believe that just because you're a family you're supposed to get along.

But when two people have nothing in common, no amount of shared DNA is going to do anything.

All anyone can do is have the children and try to raise them to be good and happy human beings.

Eventually the kids will grow up to be whoever they want to be..

You can only hope you've equiped them enough to handle the world and life's decisions.

Yep!

[Mithra 1,185]

I hate the term "advanced maternal age". I am officially at that age (if I were to be pregnant). It's depressing.

OK, I'm not so old that people would think I'm grandma (I hope not, anyway! )--just old enough to hear the phrase "advanced maternal age" a lot.

I've felt pretty awful physically for much of the pregnancy, so I'm proud of myself for not telling people to ** off and mind their own business--even the old lady at Safeway who probably has dementia.

[sachinky 464]

I am an 'only child' -- quite uncommon in India. I am very close to my cousins (my mom's younger brother's daughters) -- they are 24 and 21, in age, respectively and I'm right in the middle. I'm 23. We're closer than a lot of 'blood sisters.' Both my parents worked, which was quite uncommon when I was younger, so I got to spend my entire day at my grandparents' with my aunt and my cousins -- my mom would pick me up after dinner. This way I got all the benefits of being an only child AND the benefits of having siblings. I had my own room, my parents to my self, a lot of love and affection, the best chicken piece at dinner, none of the ####### that comes with having to put up with obnoxious siblings, no sibling rivalry AND I had someone to exchange clothes with, talk about boys, climb trees and rescue puppies, try on make-up, steal beers, etc. I loved my childhood and wouldn't change it for the world. I don't think I grew up being selfish or spoilt.

At this moment, I want no hot buns in this oven. I'm with Maven on this one. I like cute cuddly babies, but don't want one 24/7.

Edited July 12, 2010 by sachinky

[engineer21 51]

I hate the term "advanced maternal age". I am officially at that age (if I were to be pregnant). It's depressing.

I don't know what that age is.. but I don't want to know.

I have been told multiple times since we got married that we should hurry up and have kids otherwise I will be an OLD MOM.

I just smile, but man is that insulting! I don't think I am that old. We have goals we want to meet before we start popping out babies. We'd like to own a house first. I need to finish grad school and get a good job. We want to travel together and enjoy each other.. He's 25, and I'm 28. I think we have time!

[Mithra 1,185]

You have plenty of time. Advanced maternal age starts at 35. Which I don't consider old, personally. That term is just ugly, IMO.

I don't know what that age is.. but I don't want to know.

I have been told multiple times since we got married that we should hurry up and have kids otherwise I will be an OLD MOM.

I just smile, but man is that insulting! I don't think I am that old. We have goals we want to meet before we start popping out babies. We'd like to own a house first. I need to finish grad school and get a good job. We want to travel together and enjoy each other.. He's 25, and I'm 28. I think we have time!

[chri'stina 190]

I am an 'only child' -- quite uncommon in India. I am very close to my cousins (my mom's younger brother's daughters) -- they are 24 and 21, in age, respectively and I'm right in the middle. I'm 23. We're closer than a lot of 'blood sisters.' Both my parents worked, which was quite uncommon when I was younger, so I got to spend my entire day at my grandparents' with my aunt and my cousins -- my mom would pick me up after dinner. This way I got all the benefits of being an only child AND the benefits of having siblings. I had my own room, my parents to my self, a lot of love and affection, the best chicken piece at dinner, none of the ####### that comes with having to put up with obnoxious siblings, no sibling rivalry AND I had someone to exchange clothes with, talk about boys, climb trees and rescue puppies, try on make-up, steal beers, etc. I loved my childhood and wouldn't change it for the world. I don't think I grew up being selfish or spoilt.

At this moment, I want no hot buns in this oven. I'm with Maven on this one. I like cute cuddly babies, but don't want one 24/7.

That is something I have thought about, the cousins thing. And that's another thing Kavi doesn't have right now nearby or in his age range. He has 3 female cousins in India who are in their teens. They love him of course but he is so much younger and they live too far away. My sister is not married, not in a relationship, so no cousins for him on my side. She wants kids one day but I don't know when that will be. I talked about some cousins earlier, and the girl cousin was really close to me and my sister like another sister and that probably eased some of her issues of having a bratty brother hehe.

Edited July 12, 2010 by chri'stina

[sachinky 464]

I wouldn't mind having only one. More is fine too, but I don't find it a necessity like my husband.

He is quite firm in his opinion that he would rather have none than only one child.

He does belive a lot of the only child stereotypes.

But the thing is he grew up in an enchanted family with 3 siblings.

I've never seen siblings that love each other this much.

It is sickeningly cute and endearing to hear stories that he used to braid his sister's hair for school and play house with her.

I on the other hand have a douche for a brother

Much as I love my brother he was useless as a playmate or socializing tool for me growing up because all he did was bully me and farted on my head.

Needless to say I am a strong believer that the way I turned out as a human being had nothing whatsoever to do with my having an older brother to play with and socialize with.

But this oven will make two buns for my husband. Well it will try anyway

Aw. Haha.

Sometimes, very briefly, I've wondered what it would be like to have an older brother. This makes me feel better!

[engineer21 51]

Aw. Haha.

Sometimes, very briefly, I've wondered what it would be like to have an older brother. This makes me feel better!

Haha, well it depends on what kind of brother you get.. my sister-in-law absolutely adores her brothers (my husband and his older brother) But cousins are just as good

[Mithra 1,185]

I grew up with two brothers, who I am not close to now. We had a few cousins on my dad's side that we barely saw so we had no connection with them as kids and now. My kids have lots of cousins on their father's side and one on mine. Their one cousin on my side lives in WA so they see him maybe once a year. Their cousins on their dad's side live mostly out of state so they don't see them often either. I always envied my friends who had/have close relationships with their cousins and siblings. I feel like I'm missing out. I have a couple really close, lifelong gfs that I consider my sisters since they're the closest I'll ever get to a real sister. As a child I never wanted a sister because I didn't want to share my stuff, now as an adult I wish I had that. My husband has 4 siblings and tons of cousins. They have proven to be a blessing and a curse (mostly a curse) to him.

[engineer21 51]

I grew up with two brothers, who I am not close to now. We had a few cousins on my dad's side that we barely saw so we had no connection with them as kids and now. My kids have lots of cousins on their father's side and one on mine. Their one cousin on my side lives in WA so they see him maybe once a year. Their cousins on their dad's side live mostly out of state so they don't see them often either. I always envied my friends who had/have close relationships with their cousins and siblings. I feel like I'm missing out. I have a couple really close, lifelong gfs that I consider my sisters since they're the closest I'll ever get to a real sister. As a child I never wanted a sister because I didn't want to share my stuff, now as an adult I wish I had that. My husband has 4 siblings and tons of cousins. They have proven to be a blessing and a curse (mostly a curse) to him.

Siblings and cousins are like a box of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get..

[chri'stina 190]

I grew up with two brothers, who I am not close to now. We had a few cousins on my dad's side that we barely saw so we had no connection with them as kids and now. My kids have lots of cousins on their father's side and one on mine. Their one cousin on my side lives in WA so they see him maybe once a year. Their cousins on their dad's side live mostly out of state so they don't see them often either. I always envied my friends who had/have close relationships with their cousins and siblings. I feel like I'm missing out. I have a couple really close, lifelong gfs that I consider my sisters since they're the closest I'll ever get to a real sister. As a child I never wanted a sister because I didn't want to share my stuff, now as an adult I wish I had that. My husband has 4 siblings and tons of cousins. They have proven to be a blessing and a curse (mostly a curse) to him.

My husband also had 4 siblings, all girls! He is the only boy! haha. Lots of cousins on his side too.

I do feel blessed that me and my sister have always gotten along well and had similar interests and friends. I have many friends who have a sister they are not close to at all and feel like complete opposites to. We have a very close family friend who we treat as a 3rd sister now, she is basically part of the family. But she has her own set of siblings - though they don't get along well and have age differences.

[rsn 135]

have as many kids as you want as long as you can afford to raise them w/out resorting to daycare. just my opinion.

[Mithra 1,185]

You and your sister's relationship with your third sister reminds me of myself and my two gfs (who are twins). I'm like their third sister. Their mom, cousins, aunts and uncles are like a family to me, also. I actually get along with them better than my own family.

You are very lucky that you have such a good relationship with your sister. I never know what my brothers are up to. Interactions with them tend to be awkward as we have nothing in common.

My husband also had 4 siblings, all girls! He is the only boy! haha. Lots of cousins on his side too.

I do feel blessed that me and my sister have always gotten along well and had similar interests and friends. I have many friends who have a sister they are not close to at all and feel like complete opposites to. We have a very close family friend who we treat as a 3rd sister now, she is basically part of the family. But she has her own set of siblings - though they don't get along well and have age differences.

Haha! Ain't that the truth?

Siblings and cousins are like a box of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get..