what interest me the most...

[carolynhotstuff 252]

Nibake,

The best advice I can give you is to practice, practice, practice. You be the interviewer and ask her all the questions that you think might come up.

[Lovebirds2009 3]

Those of us who HAVE been through Stokes interrogations know exactly what Jim is talking about, and things can be even worse. Somber advice: The immigration process is dead serious, and it's hoped that those who take it lightly will not regret their cavalier attitude later.

well,with all seriousnes and stress,we can still ease a little and joke...Of course is serious job,but as someone said-if you're for real- it should be all fine

[MRStee 19]

I am NOT a good interviewer either, like if I had gone with my husband to the embassy on the K-1 interview, he might not be here today...

However, the mind-set that I have is that if you want something SOOOOOO bad, you have to man up and deliver!! Like someone else said, keep practicing. Make a song out of it, a game out of it whatever it takes to be with the one you love. Lots of prayer and faith helps too! Stay encouraged!

Remembering how much money we are spending on this process keeps me motivated too!

Edited July 12, 2010 by MRStee

[Lovebirds2009 3]

Hmmmm. While I can understand your point that they are not likely to know every single detail about us, as much as we think they might, it seems to me that this is a rather immature line of thinking. A simple question of "how was your day, or what did you do today," should bring up the answers to a lot of these simple questions. Why would you NOT tell your husband these simple things if you know it is something that might come up. Five minutes a day of trading small amounts of knowledge back and forth stops this problem, and lets you both get to know things about each other.

well,I am not saying I DON'T or WE DON'T share,of course in 18/7 on the phone we must,but even in my case I am pretty sure I don't know just everything about him and his past as he doesn't know some of mine...It could be a family thing you just don't share with no one at all whatsoever or something that never came up in conversation. Just because we(talking about-IN GENERAL-)have husbands and wives,don't mean we cannot have little secrets we don't want to mention.I'll give you perect example-Let's say I've had an abortion in the past...long ago that no one,but no one knows about BUT ME...why would I now share this with husband???? To me,what happened 25 yrs ago is not important..maybe I was ashamed,maybe I was scared and it was my secret to this day...THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE but this is what I mean...and the reason I took this as an example is that a lots of women have their secrets about it...some I know,that took it to the grave with them...So these are little things you just decide to keep it...and what I am saying is,if they ask your spouse,how would he know???But see,they may just refuse him/her because of that...Which in all fairness-it isn't that fair.And of course, if everything else he/she has correct answers to,this would r4eally make you upset to be the only reason of denial.

But as I see,it has lot to do with CO and day and time and location...I remeber my mom going for interview...it took not even 5 min...name of the husband,address,how long they are married and my age...It was really pleasant experience,she always says...but then maybe that was then...now is more nervewrecking

[Lovebirds2009 3]

I am NOT a good interviewer either, like if I had gone with my husband to the embassy on the K-1 interview, he might not be here today...

However, the mind-set that I have is that if you want something SOOOOOO bad, you have to man up and deliver!! Like someone else said, keep practicing. Make a song out of it, a game out of it whatever it takes to be with the one you love. Lots of prayer and faith helps too! Stay encouraged!

Remembering how much money we are spending on this process keeps me motivated too!

Another good point-I AM NOT GOOD INTERVIEWER EITHER-I don't get upset,or bad acting or anything,I AM JUST SO DAMN NERVOUS...I remember taking citizenship test-knew the whole booklet...but there in front of the officer TOTALLY BLOCKED UP...Same with job interviews,any interviews at all...The more I don't want it,the more it blocks me

Thanx Lord I don't have to go because I know I am not good at it.I am fine with answers but this feeling is just so scarry even when I think of it...(I guess it stayed with me from european schooling where you don't really have written tests just oral and I literally hate it)

[Rob and Jill 82]

well,I am not saying I DON'T or WE DON'T share,of course in 18/7 on the phone we must,but even in my case I am pretty sure I don't know just everything about him and his past as he doesn't know some of mine...It could be a family thing you just don't share with no one at all whatsoever or something that never came up in conversation. Just because we(talking about-IN GENERAL-)have husbands and wives,don't mean we cannot have little secrets we don't want to mention.I'll give you perect example-Let's say I've had an abortion in the past...long ago that no one,but no one knows about BUT ME...why would I now share this with husband???? To me,what happened 25 yrs ago is not important..maybe I was ashamed,maybe I was scared and it was my secret to this day...THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE but this is what I mean...and the reason I took this as an example is that a lots of women have their secrets about it...some I know,that took it to the grave with them...So these are little things you just decide to keep it...and what I am saying is,if they ask your spouse,how would he know???But see,they may just refuse him/her because of that...Which in all fairness-it isn't that fair.And of course, if everything else he/she has correct answers to,this would r4eally make you upset to be the only reason of denial.

But as I see,it has lot to do with CO and day and time and location...I remeber my mom going for interview...it took not even 5 min...name of the husband,address,how long they are married and my age...It was really pleasant experience,she always says...but then maybe that was then...now is more nervewrecking

Going from not knowing a favorite color or food to a life long hidden abortion is a pretty big leap...Let me give you an example as to why the past SHOULD be shared:

I was talking on Skype with my fiance and 2-3 of our mutual friends. They were teasing and poke fun at me all night, which we all do to each other on a regular basis. So, another friend gets added to the conference call and simply says "What's up?"

I VERY jokingly say in a whiney voice "These guys are all abusing me tonight."

My fiance took great offense to it because A LONG TIME AGO a girlfriend of his used to say that kind of stuff to him all the time in order to guilt him into doing what SHE wanted. Anything SHE didn't want was "abuse" in her mind.

Up until that point, he wouldn't tell me about his ex's because "the past was the past". But when he became upset by that small phrase and I didn't know why, he learned to open up and tell about the past.

Now, to answer your example. If you had an abortion years and years ago and didn't tell your husband. I would sure hate to be you when you're both sitting at the OBGYN trying to figure out why you can't become pregnant for the OBGYN to randomly say "well, that abortion you had years ago damaged :insert random female reproductive organs here: and now you can't have children. What a nice way for a husband to find something like THAT out. This is just my opinion on that of course, but I believe honesty is the best policy.

[Auris 0]

*Can anyone GIVE me good advice...

Argh. Why the short time limit on editing? Can't you tell I'm already a basket case!

Write down a list of all possible questions with answers for her, all your life's important events, and tell her never answer "don't know", always something like "I do remember he said about this, it was long time ago and...something". By the way I was asked about ex-wife of my dearest b/f, about my work and how long I worked, about my kid, my trips to US. By the way, she can watch that list during interview, no worries, I think.

[Nibake 4]

@HisLoveMyLove

I have to agree that honesty is the best policy. You don't have to tell everything, but you should share important things that could be harmfull down the road. The example given by Rob and Jill is a good one. Honesty is a building block for all good relationships, and dishonesty is a destroyer of relationships. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you must not hide things from a future spouse, as doing so is a big mistake, and most seriously, is showing a lack of true love. Again, true love knows that not ALL gory details are necessary, and some details should be avoided. Years down the road when you fight with your spouse would you rather be able to say "You know that I was open with you before we got married"? Or would you want him/her to be able to say "You lied to me!" if for some reason he/she found out?

Edited July 14, 2010 by Nibake

[Lovebirds2009 3]

Going from not knowing a favorite color or food to a life long hidden abortion is a pretty big leap...Let me give you an example as to why the past SHOULD be shared:

I was talking on Skype with my fiance and 2-3 of our mutual friends. They were teasing and poke fun at me all night, which we all do to each other on a regular basis. So, another friend gets added to the conference call and simply says "What's up?"

I VERY jokingly say in a whiney voice "These guys are all abusing me tonight."

My fiance took great offense to it because A LONG TIME AGO a girlfriend of his used to say that kind of stuff to him all the time in order to guilt him into doing what SHE wanted. Anything SHE didn't want was "abuse" in her mind.

Up until that point, he wouldn't tell me about his ex's because "the past was the past". But when he became upset by that small phrase and I didn't know why, he learned to open up and tell about the past.

Now, to answer your example. If you had an abortion years and years ago and didn't tell your husband. I would sure hate to be you when you're both sitting at the OBGYN trying to figure out why you can't become pregnant for the OBGYN to randomly say "well, that abortion you had years ago damaged :insert random female reproductive organs here: and now you can't have children. What a nice way for a husband to find something like THAT out. This is just my opinion on that of course, but I believe honesty is the best policy.

well,i haven't have abortions so that will not happen )) I just used it as example(i even wrote that) but I slightely disagree with you..I still think that some things don't have to be shared if YOU feel better that way.And for your spouse..if he /she really loves you,she/he will understand...I did too and I would always.One thing I would never ever have understanding for is my spouse having lovers beside me...but this is way off for this forum )

I also think honesty is the best policy but sometimes something so small and stupid and not worth mentioning can ruin something nice...just because that something to me is small and stupid and to someone else-big and important.At the end,we're all different...

[Lovebirds2009 3]

Write down a list of all possible questions with answers for her, all your life's important events, and tell her never answer "don't know", always something like "I do remember he said about this, it was long time ago and...something". By the way I was asked about ex-wife of my dearest b/f, about my work and how long I worked, about my kid, my trips to US. By the way, she can watch that list during interview, no worries, I think.

He knows all,there's nothing he would or wouldn't know if there's no interview...but I do not talk about my ex much because the person is dead.I mean dead in my mind,heart etc.Nor he wants to hear it...simple as that.We don't treat our realtionship any different or pushing knowledge about things that don't interest us to each other just because he will have interview.In fact even if i want to,he doesn't want it...Maybe because I have never ever have anyone being asked such questions in those embassies I was dealing with(or people we know)..So what I say is-we are happily married,so in love couple,we are talking,sharing,whatever we would do anyways,so it should all be fine.At the end if we are really so unlucky,because there's never anything you can take for granted,visa included,we can always live at his place,because his place is mine also...I was stressing but i try not to because it won't change anything.We are waiting for interview day and hoping that week after he could be on the flight to me...so we can push all of this behind us once forever.THis is what we both are living for right now...

[Lovebirds2009 3]

@HisLoveMyLove

I have to agree that honesty is the best policy. You don't have to tell everything, but you should share important things that could be harmfull down the road. The example given by Rob and Jill is a good one. Honesty is a building block for all good relationships, and dishonesty is a destroyer of relationships. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you must not hide things from a future spouse, as doing so is a big mistake, and most seriously, is showing a lack of true love. Again, true love knows that not ALL gory details are necessary, and some details should be avoided. Years down the road when you fight with your spouse would you rather be able to say "You know that I was open with you before we got married"? Or would you want him/her to be able to say "You lied to me!" if for some reason he/she found out?

Hello people-I DIDN'T SAY THIS IS ABOUT ME,hahahaha I GAVE YOU ALL EXAMPLE...JUST EXAMPLE.But thanx for responses..AND I DO AGREE WITH YOU ALL.

Sorry for missunderstanding