Setting a marriage date

[Asila 10]

First off, I love this site like I would a family member.

Second off, I have an opinion question--I've filed the K-1 earlier this month (May) and I've spent time since then obsessively going over the process. We're trying to figure out when would the best time to set a wedding date, since his family does have to fly over from the UK, and would need advance notice. Plus I need to book a place. Anyway, what do you think would be the best part of the process to try to set a date--after the embassy has received it, or once you get the interview letter, sometime like that? Or just wait to see if you're completely approved and go from there?

Also I'm afraid I'm heavily confused about what's going to happen once we get the second NOA--I know I need to gather some documents and send them to him (that I'm clear about), and then he'll have to take documents in to the interview and OH LORD I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Will the communications we get clearly state what it is he needs to do on his end?

[jpac876 1]

First off, I love this site like I would a family member.

Second off, I have an opinion question--I've filed the K-1 earlier this month (May) and I've spent time since then obsessively going over the process. We're trying to figure out when would the best time to set a wedding date, since his family does have to fly over from the UK, and would need advance notice. Plus I need to book a place. Anyway, what do you think would be the best part of the process to try to set a date--after the embassy has received it, or once you get the interview letter, sometime like that? Or just wait to see if you're completely approved and go from there?

Also I'm afraid I'm heavily confused about what's going to happen once we get the second NOA--I know I need to gather some documents and send them to him (that I'm clear about), and then he'll have to take documents in to the interview and OH LORD I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Will the communications we get clearly state what it is he needs to do on his end?

hi! yes you may want to set your marriage date after he got approved from the interview coz thats the only time you'll be really sure..

after the NOA2 you will be sending ur I-864 to him and other supporting documents and he needs to bring it with him to his interview..

[toogroove 3]

After the K-1 is issued your fiance has 6 months to enter the country and you then have 90 days to get married. I agree with the PP that waiting until after the visa is approved may be the most prudent but not necessarily the preferred course.

From my first marriage, I learned that some places will work with you in moving dates but some will not, you'll just have to sort this out as you shop all of the services. I remember feeling like organizing a wedding was like aligning the planets.

Go ahead and start start assembling the documents and back up listed in the guides. From what I understand the UK embassy is very clear about what needs to be provided. Over in the UK forum you will find UK specific advice and answers. Regarding the PP comment about forms, you will the need the I-134 for the interview and the I-864 later after you are happily married and applying for AOS.

Good luck

[Asila 10]

Thank you both, so much!

[Asila 10]

I'm going to throw another question in here, to avoid cluttering up the boards

When they're looking at the financial assets, do they look only at current pay, or only at past pay? My tax return from last years posts a gross income of 15,000 because I was looking for work, but this year I have a steady job where my gross income will be around 27,000. I'd really rather not talk my long suffering mother into co-sponsoring me.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Hi Asila!

We selected a conservative wedding date 9 months from our filing date based on the timelines here, before the NOA2 even! I know it isn't recommended, and you need to seriously consider the "backup plan" if the visa stuff doesn't work out, and make sure that all of your plans can be flexible until your timeline gets firmed up. It can be quite a juggling act for those of us who want to have our legal marriage at the same time as our ceremony where all of our friends and family can be around us, but I believe it can be done by a conscientious person.

It worked out really well for us. I had 4 extra months of planning during the visa process, and we still had 4 months for people to make travel plans to attend our big day. The down side to this was that we had the visa in hand, but he didn't arrive for many many weeks after he could - from an immigration standpoint. Others have set a date, but picked too close, and didn't adjust things when their visa wasn't going through in time. If you set your date, you NEED to be able to move it in case there are delays, because if you can't and things get slowed down, there will be tears, and not much (if any) sympathy on Visa Journey.

So, what I did while looking at venues and vendors etc, was as I was going to visit them to discuss all of the options and prices, I let them know about our situation and the uncertainty of the visa process, and asked them how a possible RESCHEDULE would work if we needed to, and how soon we would need to let them know in order to avoid loss of our down payment etc. I found that all of the contracts did have a reschedule option at least 30 - 60 days I put those dates on my calendar, and if we didn't have the visa at that time, I would have made sure to reassess our plans. Aside from that, since all of our family lives out of the state where we were getting married, 60 days was too soon to not have the visa and be letting people spend money on air fare. Luckily we never had to make those decisions, but I believe that was because we made the initial date selection wisely.

If you're uncomfortable putting money down because you might risk loosing it, then there are many other things that you can do which are not time dependent. Finding a dress, getting the paper things put together (except for printing), picking out colors, flowers, etc. You can get everything lined up but just hold off on the vendor contracts until after you feel comfortable so that all of the time consuming planning is complete, trying to plan in the limited months allowed by the visa is not so burdensome.

I hope that wasn't too long/dense. All the best!!

Edit: I forgot about the affidavit of support question! London will let you make arguments about "current income" Send a letter with your I-134 explaining your new financial situation and/or make sure your fiance is informed so he can speak about it at the interview.

Also, I meant to ask: is your fiance from the UK, or did he immigrate there or is he there on a student (or other semi-long term) visa? If anything but a born-in-the-UK citizen, your process may slow down unexpectedly after the interview, that's why I ask.

Edited May 27, 2010 by Nik+Heather

[baron555 934]

First off, I love this site like I would a family member.

Second off, I have an opinion question--I've filed the K-1 earlier this month (May) and I've spent time since then obsessively going over the process. We're trying to figure out when would the best time to set a wedding date, since his family does have to fly over from the UK, and would need advance notice. Plus I need to book a place. Anyway, what do you think would be the best part of the process to try to set a date--after the embassy has received it, or once you get the interview letter, sometime like that? Or just wait to see if you're completely approved and go from there?

Also I'm afraid I'm heavily confused about what's going to happen once we get the second NOA--I know I need to gather some documents and send them to him (that I'm clear about), and then he'll have to take documents in to the interview and OH LORD I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Will the communications we get clearly state what it is he needs to do on his end?

Set the date when the visa in firmly in the hand; never any earlier.

[PurpleSky 19]

I don't know if this is an option for you or not but here's what we decided to do:

We're going to have a civil ceremony and a huge party afterward. Next year we will have the big wedding by renewing our vows on our anniversary.

We decided on this way because

1) The process is just too unpredictable and I want to be able to send out invitations and the whole 9.

2) Even though he would have 6 months to enter the states after his approval, we just don't want to be separated that long

3) Financially, it's the best way for us because by then he would be working here in the States as well. (We're paying for everything ourselves).

Plus, for me, it helps that he will be here actually planning it with me and we can have the joys of picking things out together.

[Mandy P 3]

I'm doing all I can to plan now, before the visa. But as for putting a deposit on a place and picking a date... I'm waiting until I know he is coming. When he has his visa in hand and has booked his flight... then I'll pick a date.

I already have my dress purchased, bridal party chosen and lined up, venue in mind that knows my situation and is willing to work with me, invitation designed but of course missing the date and not printed, guest list prepared, photographer chosen, flowers picked out, bridesmaid dresses ordered, cake ordered (pending the date), and many jobs delegated to my bridesmaids, mother, father, and others. There is much you can do without a firm date. I just feel safer this way... a lot of the planning is done but I won't be hugely disappointed by having to change a date or lose money on things that can't pan out on my timeline.

[Asila 10]

Also, I meant to ask: is your fiance from the UK, or did he immigrate there or is he there on a student (or other semi-long term) visa? If anything but a born-in-the-UK citizen, your process may slow down unexpectedly after the interview, that's why I ask.

Nope, he was born and raised in the UK. I'm worrying about this hopefully more than I need to, but I'd hate to get most of the way through the process and then get denied because I didn't do enough paperwork.

It's like, you know. We just wanna get married, you guys.