going to the philippines.a few questions

[marklovetina 52]

im also told that she doesnt need parental consent or anything to get married although the us embassy websites say that.....she is 20,21 in september.and my father and a friend plan on going to the phils at the sametime as i unless i get the money to go sooner.....but from filipinos im best friends with here in the states and other people i know told me she doesnt not even need to let her parents know that she is getting married let alone getting consent.also how much is a cheap church wedding?i know that sounds bad.but we wont have many people there and she isnt worried now about what is all at the wedding but the fact we will get married.

yeah if she will marry u on church yes, she needs a consent from her parents.. and frankly saying here in the Phil. there is no cheap wedding on church... if u mean cheap wedding that cost 50-100k pesos that is the cheapest for me... :)

[nathanp 6]

Even for a civil wedding, ya gotta have money to pay the Fixxors...

yeah i agree.thats y im asking about how much if any1 knows it would cost for that.and what about that marriage thing i have to get at the embassy to marry her there?its something like legal capacity to marry or something like that.how do i get that being in butuan?and do i absolutely need it to still have the wedding itself and just get it later instead but atleast say we r married and have the ceremony?

yeah if she will marry u on church yes, she needs a consent from her parents.. and frankly saying here in the Phil. there is no cheap wedding on church... if u mean cheap wedding that cost 50-100k pesos that is the cheapest for me... :)

is there a way we can get married without having her parents consent or them even knowing about it until after its done?and im sure there r cheaper weddings then that.like above no decorations or anything like that.basically normal clothes except her and i at the church with 4 or 5 people. extremely simple church wedding

[marklovetina 52]

yeah i agree.thats y im asking about how much if any1 knows it would cost for that.and what about that marriage thing i have to get at the embassy to marry her there?its something like legal capacity to marry or something like that.how do i get that being in butuan?and do i absolutely need it to still have the wedding itself and just get it later instead but atleast say we r married and have the ceremony?

is there a way we can get married without having her parents consent or them even knowing about it until after its done?and im sure there r cheaper weddings then that.like above no decorations or anything like that.basically normal clothes except her and i at the church with 4 or 5 people. extremely simple church wedding

i dont understand why u couple dont want them, the parents, to know that ur getting married... :unsure:

why bcoz ur not rich.. ok... can u support ur gf when she comes in ur country..? if not are u willing to come here in the phil. to live with her...?, u know what i think u need to bal. everything... marriage is not like that.... its very difficult to live each other so far... think all over again... and are u sure she will be happy with u or u will be happy with her to think that situation is not that good... uhmmm... how old are u...? she is young she might change her mind in the future... just a piece if advice... but its ur life and both of u will be one responsible to that...

well i dont know if u can get married w/o parents consent maybe some other's here in VJ do it too... and marrying in the church is not that easy.. u need to attend seminars, ect... even if it simple... that's their rule...

Edited May 1, 2010 by godsgift

[A and T 82]

Dont keep your money in a wallet, use a money belt! You can buy them cheap from amazon.com or walmart, etc , I would be extra careful in mindanao , everyone is going to try to over charge you for everything, so preapre for it.

The money changers only want 100 dollar bills that are newer than 2006, and dont have markings on them, keep this in mind. Whats normal bank markings and stamps for us, for them they think its fake.

Debit cards work there, if it has a visa/mastercard logo, its super hot wear light clothes bring flip flops (a few pair)

[Dakine 26]

im also told that she doesnt need parental consent or anything to get married although the us embassy websites say that.....she is 20,21 in september.and my father and a friend plan on going to the phils at the sametime as i unless i get the money to go sooner.....but from filipinos im best friends with here in the states and other people i know told me she doesnt not even need to let her parents know that she is getting married let alone getting consent.also how much is a cheap church wedding?i know that sounds bad.but we wont have many people there and she isnt worried now about what is all at the wedding but the fact we will get married.

She will need parental consent for CFO.

Sounds like you need a LOT more money before you attempt to bring in and support a immigrant.

Good Luck.

[nathanp 6]

i dont understand why u couple dont want them, the parents, to know that ur getting married... :unsure:

why bcoz ur not rich.. ok... can u support ur gf when she comes in ur country..? if not are u willing to come here in the phil. to live with her...?, u know what i think u need to bal. everything... marriage is not like that.... its very difficult to live each other so far... think all over again... and are u sure she will be happy with u or u will be happy with her to think that situation is not that good... uhmmm... how old are u...? she is young she might change her mind in the future... just a piece if advice... but its ur life and both of u will be one responsible to that...

well i dont know if u can get married w/o parents consent maybe some other's here in VJ do it too... and marrying in the church is not that easy.. u need to attend seminars, ect... even if it simple... that's their rule...

its just her parents.yes i can take care of her.and if we werent sure and not happy.we wouldnt have gone thru everything we have gone thru for over 3 years.ill just say after talking to many friends and other people about our situation.both would have left each other in a heart beat.but for us its just a lot of stress causing simple problems that go away after a short while.really not a lot of problems.just heart ache on both our family and friends sides.they r still for us to get married.but its just money the also want.they like me and everything.most of their problems is that i havent visited their yet.they keep saying it.i dont send them a lot of money when i do send and sometimes ill wait months b4 i send anything.her dad is an alcoholic and abusive at that.1 night she called her friends to help her dad drive his motor cycle home and her dad asked a 22 year old guy to have sex with jenes in exchange he has sex with a 17 year old girl.her parents always call her stupid and dumb and say she is worthless and cant cook.yet she takes care of her baby sisters,cleans the house,the laundry,cooking,cleaning and then school as well.so she got tired of being treated so badly and left after she graduated to get a break for a while.but i know her parents will let us get married when i get there.they just want me to be there in person.

and i thought about living in the phils.im getting a website up and running shortly after i meet her.i dont want to put anymore time or money into it until after i get back.i shut it down for now.but for now i just wanna find out roughly how much money i should bring there and things like that to get married and to stay with her and he sis in the apartment.is 1500 dollars enough for my stay there,a small civil or church wedding including the documents we need to make the wedding legal?or is it possible to get married but supply all the paper work and everything after we get married.(i ask bcuz we decided not to have kids or anything until after we get married and we both really want a baby.we had 3 years to talk about it and everything.as well as not have sex b4 marriage.although we both have said it will probably happen anyways b4 getting married but we will see).but i want to be married to her.i am religious and trying to change my life around and go by the bible.

[marklovetina 52]

its just her parents.yes i can take care of her.and if we werent sure and not happy.we wouldnt have gone thru everything we have gone thru for over 3 years.ill just say after talking to many friends and other people about our situation.both would have left each other in a heart beat.but for us its just a lot of stress causing simple problems that go away after a short while.really not a lot of problems.just heart ache on both our family and friends sides.they r still for us to get married.but its just money the also want.they like me and everything.most of their problems is that i havent visited their yet.they keep saying it.i dont send them a lot of money when i do send and sometimes ill wait months b4 i send anything.her dad is an alcoholic and abusive at that.1 night she called her friends to help her dad drive his motor cycle home and her dad asked a 22 year old guy to have sex with jenes in exchange he has sex with a 17 year old girl.her parents always call her stupid and dumb and say she is worthless and cant cook.yet she takes care of her baby sisters,cleans the house,the laundry,cooking,cleaning and then school as well.so she got tired of being treated so badly and left after she graduated to get a break for a while.but i know her parents will let us get married when i get there.they just want me to be there in person.

and i thought about living in the phils.im getting a website up and running shortly after i meet her.i dont want to put anymore time or money into it until after i get back.i shut it down for now.but for now i just wanna find out roughly how much money i should bring there and things like that to get married and to stay with her and he sis in the apartment.is 1500 dollars enough for my stay there,a small civil or church wedding including the documents we need to make the wedding legal?or is it possible to get married but supply all the paper work and everything after we get married.(i ask bcuz we decided not to have kids or anything until after we get married and we both really want a baby.we had 3 years to talk about it and everything.as well as not have sex b4 marriage.although we both have said it will probably happen anyways b4 getting married but we will see).but i want to be married to her.i am religious and trying to change my life around and go by the bible.

uhmm, ok.. 1500 is enough for ur civil wedding and ur stay... but remember u need to go to us embassy manila to get ur legal capacity to marry.. and pls. before u come here in the Phil. pls. do research about k3.. why k3 why not cr1..? i heard k3 is expensive... u really do have a quite story... sorry i read ur story on ur profile and what u all written here.. but hey did u think sometime if u were scammed or not..?

and PLS. use ur money wisely... $1500 is not that many here in the Phil., remember on that money u will stay for 3 wks. and need to marry ur gf

good luck to u that's all i can say...

Edited May 1, 2010 by godsgift

[nathanp 6]

uhmm, ok.. 1500 is enough for ur civil wedding and ur stay... but remember u need to go to us embassy manila to get ur legal capacity to marry.. and pls. before u come here in the Phil. pls. do research about k3.. why k3 why not cr1..? i heard k3 is expensive... u really do have a quite story... sorry i read ur story on ur profile and what u all written here.. but hey did u think sometime if u were scammed or not..?

and PLS. use ur money wisely... $1500 is not that many here in the Phil., remember on that money u will stay for 3 wks. and need to marry ur gf

good luck to u that's all i can say...

thank you thats good info and advice.does she need her parents consent for a civil wedding?and what exactly is that?like a letter her parents rite saying they give permission for her to get married or somethingno its not a scam.its been over 3 years.ive gone moer than 6 months without sending money.ive gone longer without sending money each month then actually sending money each month.jenes has never asked me for money and even waited weeks b4 she got the money i sent bcuz she didnt want it.1 time she tried sending it back to me.she even asked me to promise her not to send her money.she doent like it and since we arent married.she really doesnt like it.and i read about the different visa.again i have had 3 years to read that kinda info hehe.but thank you for telling me..

but 1 of our big reason for getting married besides not having sex b4 marriage and having kids b4 marriage is the fact that we want that bond between us.im sure u understand.or really any1 understands and its been 3 years and we want to get married and surely know thats what we want.although i thought about asking her if she will not get married there and just come ehre.but she wants to get married there as well.

[nathanp 6]

i also heard that there is a place in cebu that i can get the paper work.the capacity to get married paper work as well.instead of going all the way to manila.and how much would it cost just to buy round trip tickets to manila for 1 day just to get the paper work and transportation a meal and things like that then fly back or do we have to stay a long time in manila to get it?or its a thing where u apply for it.and u get it a few mins after u apply for it?sorry for so many questions and it being long.i just want to get all the info straightened out now so i know what to do ahead of time and prepare everything now.. is 1500 dollars still enough for all that?

[AKteacher 101]

It really depends on your standard of comfort. I know you're not going to Manila but I can provide some prices for comparison. Down in Mindanao, many things should be cheaper than in Manila.

Given that you will not be paying for hotels, I think $1000 should be PLENTY for 3 weeks if you're frugal. You should even be able to afford some cheap dinners out and some other smaller luxuries as well. Don't forget the P750 (international) or P200 (domestic) air departure tax that must be paid (in cash) at the airport. One way plane fares are about $50-60 from Manila to Davao (just bought a ticket myself, I'm going there next week), or if you really want to save money you can take the ferry (www.superferry.com.ph) for about P2,500 roundtrip (including meals) from Manila to Cagayan de Oro, it takes 2 days or so each way though.

Everything is really cheap there, heck a decent hotel (not the Hilton but a clean, nice place anyway) is no more than about $50/night (many places that I would consider OK are even much less), and that's in Manila. You can go to markets for food and fruit and eat for $5-10/day, or less if you're really frugal. I rented an apartment in Manila (Tondo, not the nicest part of town...) for just over $100/mo. and it was an OK place. Just hunt around for deals, and bargain bargain bargain. Your fiancee should know where the best deals are near where she lives. If you're going to stop in Manila on the way there, you could stay at Friendly's guesthouse, I stayed there last summer and it was only P275/night (about $6) for a dorm bed, and it's a great location right in Malate. The LRT rail system is P15/ride (about 35 cents). Jeepneys are P7/ride. Mangoes are about P125/kilo in Manila, but about 1/2 that in Mindanao.

Butuan is in western Mindanao, so the security situation shouldn't be too bad (relatively speaking, of course, but remember you're talking to somebody who has lived in Tondo). Yes you should bring your GF a laptop if she needs one, they're about 50% more expensive there than in the states, I assume it must be because of high import taxes. I sent my GF a laptop a couple months ago (a year-old $500 netbook) and they charged over P5000 in import duties!

The Philippines is a great place for budget travel. Just take good care not to eat things that might make you sick - unpeeled fruit, weird meats, etc. I drank the tap water in Manila and ate balut and I survived, you probably will too!

Good luck!

[marklovetina 52]

thank you thats good info and advice.does she need her parents consent for a civil wedding?and what exactly is that?like a letter her parents rite saying they give permission for her to get married or somethingno its not a scam.its been over 3 years.ive gone moer than 6 months without sending money.ive gone longer without sending money each month then actually sending money each month.jenes has never asked me for money and even waited weeks b4 she got the money i sent bcuz she didnt want it.1 time she tried sending it back to me.she even asked me to promise her not to send her money.she doent like it and since we arent married.she really doesnt like it.and i read about the different visa.again i have had 3 years to read that kinda info hehe.but thank you for telling me..

but 1 of our big reason for getting married besides not having sex b4 marriage and having kids b4 marriage is the fact that we want that bond between us.im sure u understand.or really any1 understands and its been 3 years and we want to get married and surely know thats what we want.although i thought about asking her if she will not get married there and just come ehre.but she wants to get married there as well.

frankly i dont know the answer if she needs a parent's consent or not if u will gonna have a civil wedding... no one in my family was married on civil... even my 1st marriage.. so cant answer that... but if u will look back again to ur own thread there is a poster said that she needs a parent's consent to the CFO... so even if u marry her on civil or church u really need parent's consent... when u apply for a marriage license to her municipality there is already a parent's consent copy all u have to do is supply the necessary infos. then her parent's need to sign on that paper...

[nathanp 6]

It really depends on your standard of comfort. I know you're not going to Manila but I can provide some prices for comparison. Down in Mindanao, many things should be cheaper than in Manila.

Given that you will not be paying for hotels, I think $1000 should be PLENTY for 3 weeks if you're frugal. You should even be able to afford some cheap dinners out and some other smaller luxuries as well. Don't forget the P750 (international) or P200 (domestic) air departure tax that must be paid (in cash) at the airport. One way plane fares are about $50-60 from Manila to Davao (just bought a ticket myself, I'm going there next week), or if you really want to save money you can take the ferry (www.superferry.com.ph) for about P2,500 roundtrip (including meals) from Manila to Cagayan de Oro, it takes 2 days or so each way though.

Everything is really cheap there, heck a decent hotel (not the Hilton but a clean, nice place anyway) is no more than about $50/night (many places that I would consider OK are even much less), and that's in Manila. You can go to markets for food and fruit and eat for $5-10/day, or less if you're really frugal. I rented an apartment in Manila (Tondo, not the nicest part of town...) for just over $100/mo. and it was an OK place. Just hunt around for deals, and bargain bargain bargain. Your fiancee should know where the best deals are near where she lives. If you're going to stop in Manila on the way there, you could stay at Friendly's guesthouse, I stayed there last summer and it was only P275/night (about $6) for a dorm bed, and it's a great location right in Malate. The LRT rail system is P15/ride (about 35 cents). Jeepneys are P7/ride. Mangoes are about P125/kilo in Manila, but about 1/2 that in Mindanao.

Butuan is in western Mindanao, so the security situation shouldn't be too bad (relatively speaking, of course, but remember you're talking to somebody who has lived in Tondo). Yes you should bring your GF a laptop if she needs one, they're about 50% more expensive there than in the states, I assume it must be because of high import taxes. I sent my GF a laptop a couple months ago (a year-old $500 netbook) and they charged over P5000 in import duties!

The Philippines is a great place for budget travel. Just take good care not to eat things that might make you sick - unpeeled fruit, weird meats, etc. I drank the tap water in Manila and ate balut and I survived, you probably will too!

Good luck!

wow thank you.then 1000 dollars will be enough for everything u mentioned above including going to manila correct to get the legal capacity to get married.how long does it take to get the legal capacity to get married when we go to manila?i dont wanna stay there long just long enough to get it.i want to make sure we have enough tiem to get married in those 3 weeks and it not be the last day and it not sink in that we really r married.but to enjoy being married for a few days im there.

[AKteacher 101]

I don't know how much all those document and marriage fees cost. The legal capacity to get married from the US Embassy in Manila might cost little or nothing, I'm not sure. I think there's also a waiting period of a week or more between application for marriage and when you can actually get married (I'm not sure how long, perhaps somebody else here on VJ can enlighten us), so allow time for that, and for counseling if it's required. Also if she's under a certain age (23 I think?) then she her parents must either consent or be notified of her marriage before it happens. What about after you're married? Remember that to bring her to the US there are substantial fees, and you must make (or have assets equivalent to) 125% of the federal poverty guidelines in order to sponsor her. You could move there to be with her, PHL is a great place to live but it's hard to make money there. Also remember that in PHL there is no such thing as divorce, so once married, it's pretty much final. There are lots of nice girls there (and lots of not-so-nice ones), so be careful and choose wisely.

Having said all that, I must also say that the Filipinas are some of the most wonderful people on earth. You could not do better than have a Filipina wife.

[gary9891 10]

to start out i know this is for the spousal visa and im sure some of the questions that i ask have already been asked before,but for my sake and to get some new info and everything.i would like to ask these questions anyways...

1 question i have is that i plan on going to the phils around september of 2010....my gf and i have been dating for over 3 years.....i want to know around the minimum and average every1 thinks i should bring to the phils with me.amount of money....when i go there.ill stay with her and her sister at an apartment that her and her sister rent out.my gf just graduated from college march 30 and is now looking for work.im not going there to spend a lot of money on anything special.im going there to just spend time with her.maybe take her out on a date or 2 but thats about it.i dont wanna bring anything back with me(well except her but need to get married first.which is another question ill ask).

so just staying with her and her sister for 3 weeks.how much money do i need for food,water,and simple things like that?and maybe a few dollars to take her on some dates like a movie.but basically just staying at her apartment bcuz thats all we really wanna do to spend the most time together and not be bothered by anything or any1..

another question is....how much does it cost to get married thru like a judge or justice of the peace or equivalent there?maybe having her sister and possibly her parents there(her parents r against us and she moved out of her parents home bcuz she got tired of them treating her so badly.so now she doesnt talk to them much)..

my plan was to save 1000 US dollars as i have read that should be enough for what i want on other sites.but rather hear from people on here about it as well.again i dont plan on buying anything or bringing anything back.just wanna spend time with her alone with the exception of her sister.and i already have a plane ticket ready for me.all i need is the money for there and to get out of the manila airport.i dont like spending a lot of money and my gf doesnt either.she isnt a big spender even if i send her a lot of money in terms of the philippines.she will make 100 dollars last over a month after paying her tuition fee and buying feminine products.

if i remember anything else ill post.a little more.sorry for it being so long and everything.just excited and now tired,have work early in the morn.

Your ATM card should work fine there. This way you will not have to travel with so much cash. If you decide to use the ATM, be sure to tell your bank before traveling you will be in the Philippines or they will cancel the card first time you use it. My bank is a small local credit union and my card worked fine the 3 trips I made to Mindanao. As a backup money source, open a Xoom account so you can send her money if you need.

Cost of food there is very reasonable, considerably less than the US. My opinion is 1000 USD is fine for 3 weeks.

[yellow_flower 2]

hi there, having read ur storyline and the subsequent replies of the members here - I do agree that you shouldnt be spending more than US$ 1,000.00 (prevailing exchange rate in Makati banks = US$ 1.00:PhP 44+). your destination is in Butuan City in Mindanao. thats province area. mostly nature, not too much malls.

if you are going to stay with your gf and settle for home cooked meals 75-85% of the time, you should do well. I am from Makati by the way (Brgy Poblacion, just at the back of Rockwell Power Plant Mall). whenever my fiance is here, he settles for home cooked meals. we take turns cooking. I get to show him what Filipinos cook and eat, and he'd show me what he knows to cook and like to eat. apart from the bonding time, twas a way for us to get to know each other very well. I dont bring him though when I go to the marketplace coz I wont be able to bargain for a lower price (people here have this mentality that if your bf is a foreigner it means big bucks). we'd have dinner outside every now and then. he does that to give me a break from cooking, also bcoz he loves to eat at this korean resto. our average expenditure at kaya korean resto in jupiter street, makati city is PhP 1200-1500. but thats fine dining and 2 servings of spicy squid for him haha! my sis who is a programmer and travels a lot says, dinner in a nice resto in Mindanao area shouldnt be more than PhP 700.

the better person to orient you of these things would be your gf coz she is from there.

when my fiance and I were in the get-to-know each other stage, he asked me a lot of questions like: how many are you in the house, how big is your place, how many and what type of elect appliances you have, how much is your elect bill, how much do you spend monthly on food, clothing, leisure etc. he also asked about means of transport (jeep, taxi, bus, LRT, horse drive carriage). he also asked about basic commodities like how much is a kilo of rice, fish (depends on the kind of fish), pork, beef, chicken, veggies. we talked about what we like and dont like to eat. he asked how often I watch a movie in the nearby cinema, what do I do for fun etc. whats the average meal in a fine dining resto, at a corner etc.

while some people claim such questions bother them, it reality these are the typical questions I get at work from expats wanting to set-up their business in the Phils. when I finally realised the questions were aimed at me and not just an economy assessment of the Phils, I emailed him an excel file with a breakdown of my monthly salary with a planning budget from Jan-Dec. thats it, I passed my exam. Hahaha! am not joking, I do plan my life like so. and I carry a print-out of that excel file in my wallet to remind me not to go overboard when I spend.

the bottom line is, if your gf really really loves you, she will do everything and anything to protect you. she'd even tell u hey, dont spend so much. the important thing is we're together.

I do agree that in chatting, you get to know a person. but I do recommend that you meet each first and get to know each other very very well before thinking of getting married. marriage is a life long commitment, it isnt just a piece of paper. if you want to offer marriage because you want to prove to her (and her family) that your intentions are true, then you are not being fair - to yourself and to the girl. get married because it is something that BOTH of you want and because BOTH of you are ready for whatever will come your way.

when I first met D2B in 2006, my family was against the idea (we're not even bf-gf). but I insisted that my parents (especially my mother) meet him, at least to show Filipino hospitality. I gave him a despedida party (seafood buffet) not knowing twas his birthday. overtime, he got closer to my family and believe it or not, he and my mum get along very well. I for one, do not agree in lavish wedding. you are getting married because you want to spend your life with that person. when the two of u fight, are u going to call those 100 guests who attended your wedding to patch you up? NAH!

I am not sure how much the church fee costs but it shouldnt be more than 3,500 pesos. I read here someone suggested, you go get a fixer. dont u dare if you dun want to get "fixed." google up for Butuan City Hall. if they have an email, you can ask for procedure/guidelines. ah just to let you know, I organized my cousins wedding last Dec 2009. we spent approx 50,000 pesos for 100 guests. can show u her site in Facebook. I still have the budget file with me. if you need, just email me so I could pass to you and give you more tips on how to cut cost. you can give a dream wedding for your girl, just dont invite her entire clan and community! I'll get back to you about marriageable age. I know they raised it. you see, I couldnt marry my ex back then coz of that. he had to get parental consent (thank goodness I didnt get married! LoL)