Cat Lover or Not, this is funny!

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can

top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how

legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm

lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway,

because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that

I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the

next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the

bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had

given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I

heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage

disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower

pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks

me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you

a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent

outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior

as extremely cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to

find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my

circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its

gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating

dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised

around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the

precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I

unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all

rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a

violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my

masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.

Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from

experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and

cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out

cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there

are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the

kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that"

paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics

were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while

trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it

back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of

me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk

about, which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your

tongue?"

If they only knew!

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

[Veiled Princess 1]

[Marc and Olga 0]

[Buttons 0]

lmao, Thanks for the chuckle !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JoelAndAnalyn 0]

No pictures??

[eap620 0]

Thanks for the laugh and I hope you have recovered with ease.

Great story!

[Donna A 4]

sorry for u that it was no laughing matter but i laughted my butt off.

[*Robert* 2]

An oldie, but goodie!!! Still makes me cringe with pain!!! ::shudders::