I married a woman, not a country

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

No...but you put all the risk on the woman. She walks away from job, family and home...and you're holding a coupon that gives you a lot of power over her life...you can say no and send her home...back to all that wonderful Russian culture I hear so much about.

####### is this all about now? More of VisaVeteran doing things the right way and the rest of us not? Get over yourself VV. There are Russian Orthodox Churches here, there is one in Northfield Vermont. Russian is language number 3 in Vermont behind English and French. If my wife wanted to get married in one, we could have. She didn't. A JP on the front lawn was just fine by her. We discussed ALL the visa options and could have chosen ANY of them, but chose the K-1 mostly because it was the only one that allowed the K-2 for our oldest son if the marriage was not completed before his 18th birthday (he couldn't come until the next summer) It was, but not knowing what USCIS would do, we took the safe route. There is a range of considerations for mature, responsible adults to choose. Getting married first is no tguarantee of anything. CR-1s get denied and then what? You are still married and no where to go.

We had no need for Alla to work upon arrival. We had no need for her to run back to Ukraine (or even to canada 6 miles away) until she got a green card...IKEA was still there when she got it. We DID have a need for our son to be able to come to the US also, the K-2 was the safe route for us. I lived in Ukraine for two years and I will venture to say, from what I have read here, I spent more time with Alla in Ukraine than virtually anyone else here with their wife/fiancee. So what? we also own property together in Ukraine, before we got married. And what? Did you? Maybe I should say "Unless you lived in Ukraine (Russia/Belarus) and bought property with your fiancee, you have no chance"

The guy who meets his gal on the internet, visits her one time and marries her at the court house in bumf*ck, Idaho has just as good a chance as me or you or anyone else if he is devoted to his wife and she is to him. If they are not devoted to each other, they will fail. Big surprise.

Yes, you're right...many are atheists and some Muslim. If you're a Jew, I can understand why you left Russia...as so many Jews have done. Russia is not very kind to Jews.

My wife is non-religious. so am I. and I don't believe in leprechauns either.

Look at that sh!t, we finally agree on something.

Except it was Ukraine (I know most think it's the same, but it's not)

A lot of Jews that left Russia made it no further than Odessa, Ukraine.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Oh, you want to make this a legalistic conversation. Good diversion.

My intention was to illustrate who walks the "I love the Russian culture" talk. Or to reply to all the men out there that buy their wife flowers on IWD and want extra points...but got married in the USA with a money back guarantee.

But I'll play your silly game.... my wife has some leverage to stay in the US with her immediate green card and my commitment to support her legally. And she has seen I walked my talk and married her. No 90 day test drive. Her odds are better

And, Mox, my wife has a military ID and is locked in as my dependent. Not so easy to just walk away. Life is never so simple.

Mox makes an excellent point about a Russian marriage. Get her out today and who knows you were ever married in Russia. Pretty sweet. I never thought of that.

But I am curious about this money back guarantee. Was that a card I was supposed to fill out or something? There was not one in the crate when they shipped Alla to me. Should I call Dr. Finetush and ask for a new model?

[Brad and Vika 129]

Mox makes an excellent point about a Russian marriage. Get her out today and who knows you were ever married in Russia. Pretty sweet. I never thought of that.

But I am curious about this money back guarantee. Was that a card I was supposed to fill out or something? There was not one in the crate when they shipped Alla to me. Should I call Dr. Finetush and ask for a new model?

Reported for not knowing about the guarantee.

But I'll play your silly game.... my wife has some leverage to stay in the US with her immediate green card and my commitment to support her legally. And she has seen I walked my talk and married her. No 90 day test drive. Her odds are better

I plan to buy my wife extra flowers for IWD, and bank my extra points just to spite you. Killjoy.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

And I ask again: how does where we married make any difference with regards to this point? How did your marrying in Russia make your "money back guarantee" any different than my "money back guarantee?"

And so does mine. And so does Slim's. And so does Gary's. And so does pretty much everyone else.

Exactly like if you'd married her in the US.

Yeah. Alla has a green card, we got married within 8 days, had the adjustment of status funds for two people prepared and the check written the day she arrived. she was in school here (which is what she wanted) in 5 days, got her SSN in 16 hours. She was on our joint bank account in less than 48 hours. I even got her a 50% private grant/scholarship in 5 days from her college. In what way was I not supporting my wife? In what way was she at risk? In what way dod she have "no power"? My wife's "power" over me has nothing to do with her immigration status. Never did, never will. Sheeeesh.

Reported for not knowing about the guarantee.

I plan to buy my wife extra flowers for IWD, and bank my extra points just to spite you. Killjoy.

Brad, I thought we only reported Canadians.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Yeah. Alla has a green card, we got married within 8 days, had the adjustment of status funds for two people prepared and the check written the day she arrived. she was in school here (which is what she wanted) in 5 days, got her SSN in 16 hours. She was on our joint bank account in less than 48 hours. I even got her a 50% private grant/scholarship in 5 days from her college. In what way was I not supporting my wife? In what way was she at risk? In what way dod she have "no power"? My wife's "power" over me has nothing to do with her immigration status. Never did, never will. Sheeeesh.

Brad, I thought we only reported Canadians.

Reported for mentioning Canadians (it draws them here) Doh! I said Canadians. Doh!

[Martyshk 137]

Brad, I thought we only reported Canadians.

And limeys durr!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

You forget one thing...you had 90 days to bail and ruin your fiancee's life...I did not. Your money back guarantee is the 90 days. I had no such escape route.

Your wife had to wait 1 year for a green card. Mine did not. So...you could decide to bail on the green card at the one year point through the AOS process forcing her to go back to Russia.

Anyone can get divorced...and a woman in Russia can't do much against the US legal system.

Oh ####### off! ( I heard that from a Limey) My wife had her green card in hand in less than 4 months. Her drivers license in two months. ####### are you talking about? Your wife waited for her green card also...in Russia. The CR-1 is no different, except where you wait while processed. You got married in Russia and file for the green card after you were married. I got married in the USA and filed for the green card in the USA. ####### is the difference? Your wife waited in Russia while you were in the USA, during that period she was your wife and had no green card, PLUS had no benefits of living here, no driver's license, car, relaible hot water, yada, yada.

My wife got her SSN on day two after arriving (she had the "employment authorized" stamp back when it meant something, right away on entry. She could have worked on day one but didn;t need to because her husband makes plenty to support her) she was married 8 days later and her her green card less than four months after we said "I do". How long did you FORCE your wife to wait after you said "I do" to get her green card? what a dumb@ss. In the meantime, you FORCED her to wait in Russia. My wife was in college in the USA and learning to drive. She was IN college in the USA before we got married. She had her driver's license in less than two months after saying "I do" How long did you FORCE your wife to wait after saying "I do" to get a drivers license?

Your wife waited longer in a less advantageous society than mine did and now you try to make out that you are something special. What a dufus.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

And limeys durr!

Mart...they are the same. They both have the same Queen on their money.

Reported for mentioning Canadians (it draws them here) Doh! I said Canadians. Doh!

Quebecois!!!!!! (There, that ought to scare them off)

[SMR 368]

You forget one thing...you had 90 days to bail and ruin your fiancee's life...I did not. Your money back guarantee is the 90 days. I had no such escape route.

Your wife had to wait 1 year for a green card. Mine did not. So...you could decide to bail on the green card at the one year point through the AOS process forcing her to go back to Russia.

Anyone can get divorced...and a woman in Russia can't do much against the US legal system.

It seems to me that you are the only person in this discussion who really saw or sees the 90 days as a "money-back guarantee." (I find it odd that you see it as money back since no money would have been returned).

In reality, divorcing or annulling the marriage is not much more complicated than refusing to marry after a short time. Yeah, your wife may have had more of a basis to stay had you divorced her, but I think I don't speak for only my self when I say that my wife wasn't after the green card. She gave up a lot to come here; you are right. But without me, she really wouldn't have come and if I were to die, she would probably return to Russia, in spite of the fact that she could legally stay.

When you talk about a "money back guarantee," I think I see what you mean. Most of us here decided to get married and used a visa process so we could live in the same country as our eventual spouse. You bought a wife by getting her a green card. That's really what you mean by money; you mean green card. And when you say 90 day money back guarantee, you mean there were 90 days when we could decide we didn't want the wife and could take the green card back. But I think you are the only one here who thinks of it as buying a wife with a green card. The reality is, my wife wanted to marry me and accepted the green card so it would work. Your wife, it seems, at least as you see it, wanted to be an American, so she accepted you to get the green card.

[Martyshk 137]

I just have to say, what the F-ing difference does it make what visa and what circumstances brought two people who love and care for each other together?

I could give two sh!ts about how it happens for us, as long as it's as fast as possible.

End of argument..

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

It seems to me that you are the only person in this discussion who really saw or sees the 90 days as a "money-back guarantee." (I find it odd that you see it as money back since no money would have been returned).

In reality, divorcing or annulling the marriage is not much more complicated than refusing to marry after a short time. Yeah, your wife may have had more of a basis to stay had you divorced her, but I think I don't speak for only my self when I say that my wife wasn't after the green card. She gave up a lot to come here; you are right. But without me, she really wouldn't have come and if I were to die, she would probably return to Russia, in spite of the fact that she could legally stay.

When you talk about a "money back guarantee," I think I see what you mean. Most of us here decided to get married and used a visa process so we could live in the same country as our eventual spouse. You bought a wife by getting her a green card. That's really what you mean by money; you mean green card. And when you say 90 day money back guarantee, you mean there were 90 days when we could decide we didn't want the wife and could take the green card back. But I think you are the only one here who thinks of it as buying a wife with a green card. The reality is, my wife wanted to marry me and accepted the green card so it would work. Your wife, it seems, at least as you see it, wanted to be an American, so she accepted you to get the green card.

SMR...

His argument makes NO sense. ALL of our wives got a green card AFTER they married us. His wife, my wife, your wife. NO ONE got a green card before marriage. We all had equal opportunity to ruin our wives lives (and still do). Trying to split hairs over where the couple was standing when the vows were taken is BS. He married his wife in Russia, then abandoned her and FORCED to live there while she waited for her green card. Too bad for her if he took many months (or years) to file a petition. She was married and stuck with having to get a divorce if he didn't do as he said. I will bet you $100 she waited LONGER after the marriage for her green card than my wife did. My wife had her green card in her hand 3 months and 4 days after she said "I do". How long did VV's wife wait after the wedding?

VV, what is the answer?

My wife could have gotten back on the plane and left when she arrived. No divorce necessary. SHE could have tried things out and changed her mind. She could have waited 90 days, but we didn't. The "guarantee" was available to both of us. To suggest my wife could NOT have gotten back on the plane and returned all on her own is an insult. maybe VV's wife is so dependent as to be unable to do so, my wife is not. She has never been without enough CASH to buy multiple plane tickets back to Ukraine at any time. She could drive her own car to JFK today and get on the next plane to Kiev, pay cash from what she has stashed around the house and she would be winging her way back before I noticed she was gone. To suggest otherwise is ludicrous...or perhaps a reflection of how VV restrains his wife. Mine is not restrained in any way.

On the other hand, after abandoning his wife in Russia (what kind of MAN does that?) he then FORCED her to come to a country she had never seen and FORCED her to live with him, if she didn't like it, she would have to get a divorce

If I want to paint a negative picture of the CR-1 visa, I certainly can. Why would I do that? I presume that VV and his wife are adults and make decisions as adults. They made a decision of what was best for them. We made a decision of what was best for us. What the #### is the problem with that??????

[slim 1,514]

Reported to Slim for making the moderators notice.

Now you've got it! We're part of the solution, remember?

You forget one thing...you had 90 days to bail and ruin your fiancee's life...I did not. Your money back guarantee is the 90 days. I had no such escape route.

Your wife had to wait 1 year for a green card. Mine did not. So...you could decide to bail on the green card at the one year point through the AOS process forcing her to go back to Russia.

Anyone can get divorced...and a woman in Russia can't do much against the US legal system.

How about another angle on this -

As a young guy working a blue-collar job and living check-to-check, instead of a money back guarantee I had more of a cash on delivery that was non-refundable. It's not like she showed up here with a fistful of dollars and started paying for everything right away. In fact, it took quite a while before she could work and contribute anything. Now that she is working, the contributing part is still not something that's even remotely close to refunding my deposit so, as we sit here, three and a half years after her arrival, I'm still paying for the whole deal.

It's more like she could bail on me at anytime. "Now that I've been here a while and got my sh!t together, I'm out of here. Thanks for the last few years, sucker."

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Now you've got it! We're part of the solution, remember?

How about another angle on this -

As a young guy working a blue-collar job and living check-to-check, instead of a money back guarantee I had more of a cash on delivery that was non-refundable. It's not like she showed up here with a fistful of dollars and started paying for everything right away. In fact, it took quite a while before she could work and contribute anything. Now that she is working, the contributing part is still not something that's even remotely close to refunding my deposit so, as we sit here, three and a half years after her arrival, I'm still paying for the whole deal.

It's more like she could bail on me at anytime. "Now that I've been here a while and got my sh!t together, I'm out of here. Thanks for the last few years, sucker."

No way Slim. Must be a trick. How did a young guy ever get an FSU woman? I always wondered about the poor FSU men that had to wait until they were like 40 years old to get a girlfriend, what do they do? No wonder so many are drunk. Maybe they aren't really drunk, but just crazy from wanking it!

I still question the existance of your wife...you simply do not fit the mold.

[SMR 368]

No way Slim. Must be a trick. How did a young guy ever get an FSU woman? I always wondered about the poor FSU men that had to wait until they were like 40 years old to get a girlfriend, what do they do? No wonder so many are drunk. Maybe they aren't really drunk, but just crazy from wanking it!

I still question the existance of your wife...you simply do not fit the mold.

I'm 23 and I'll tell you that if a FSU guy has his stuff together, he could have 3 girlfriends simultaneously at a young age. No reason to wait until he is 40. There is just that many more women who have there stuff together than men who have their stuff together. Again, I'm not saying there aren't men who have their stuff together. There are just twice as many women.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I'm 23 and I'll tell you that if a FSU guy has his stuff together, he could have 3 girlfriends simultaneously at a young age. No reason to wait until he is 40. There is just that many more women who have there stuff together than men who have their stuff together. Again, I'm not saying there aren't men who have their stuff together. There are just twice as many women.

Well, OK but they would be those young ones. Shiver.

(I said it with my tongue firmly in my cheek)