Want to get a divorce/annulment and need your help!

[Ramses 0]

I had an arranged legal marriage back on November 28th of 2008. I petitioned for my wife under the K-3 process and she was here in June of 2009. I want to get a divorce or annulment because I do not wish to conitnue my life with this terrible person. I live in California and I am not to sure about the rules here but let me tell you all what she has so far. She has her green card and she doesn't work, go to school, anything!!! She is a public charge and a complete pain!! What can I do to make this go easy without court and lawyers?? Can I withdraw from the affidavit of support? Is it too late? She also never disclosed to me that her mother is mentally ill, just that she is "depressed". I don't know if there is a law in California that constitutes any rights against that because that was never disclosed to me nor my family. I need help please!!

[stanley411 0]

I had an arranged legal marriage back on November 28th of 2008. I petitioned for my wife under the K-3 process and she was here in June of 2009. I want to get a divorce or annulment because I do not wish to conitnue my life with this terrible person. I live in California and I am not to sure about the rules here but let me tell you all what she has so far. She has her green card and she doesn't work, go to school, anything!!! She is a public charge and a complete pain!! What can I do to make this go easy without court and lawyers?? Can I withdraw from the affidavit of support? Is it too late? She also never disclosed to me that her mother is mentally ill, just that she is "depressed". I don't know if there is a law in California that constitutes any rights against that because that was never disclosed to me nor my family. I need help please!!

if its an uncontested divorce its gonna be 1-2-3 meaning she agrees to sign the papers. you will need a lawyer

it will cost you between $1000 and $1500

you need to look up or google how to get a divorce in california because each state is different

[SuperDuper! 230]

I had an arranged legal marriage back on November 28th of 2008. I petitioned for my wife under the K-3 process and she was here in June of 2009. I want to get a divorce or annulment because I do not wish to conitnue my life with this terrible person. I live in California and I am not to sure about the rules here but let me tell you all what she has so far. She has her green card and she doesn't work, go to school, anything!!! She is a public charge and a complete pain!! What can I do to make this go easy without court and lawyers?? Can I withdraw from the affidavit of support? Is it too late? She also never disclosed to me that her mother is mentally ill, just that she is "depressed". I don't know if there is a law in California that constitutes any rights against that because that was never disclosed to me nor my family. I need help please!!

Ramses, First of all, I do feel for you brother. It is such a lonely feeling when you are sure you NEED a divorce, and then you are left to face the CONFISCATORY family law of CA. I will give you the bad news first. You WILL be on the hook for her welfare and sustenance. You CANNOT get out of your obligation of NOT making her a public charge. You pledged your affidavit of support to her under Federal penalty of perjury. CA is a NO FAULT divorce state, meaning that it does not matter why you are divorcing. One fault of one partner does not excuse the other of his obligations of CA family law. Also, CA is a Community Property state, so you will have to provide her ALIMONY or spousal support (vaginomy as Tom Lykis likes to put it).

Brother, you are going where many of us have gone B4. In CA, in a divorce settlement situation, the man is screwed.

I'm still payin', so join the club.

ps, Here is the good news in the form of a joke: "Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it." Keep the Faith and Good luck!

Edited February 8, 2010 by Hopp

[Ramses 0]

Damn am I really that screwed?? So her mother being mental and the info not being disclosed after the marriage has no weight huh? What if she agrees to go back to her country and I get a divorce then? Would that work? Help me out here guys!!

[SuperDuper! 230]

Damn am I really that screwed?? So her mother being mental and the info not being disclosed after the marriage has no weight huh? What if she agrees to go back to her country and I get a divorce then? Would that work? Help me out here guys!!

If you get her to agree to just go back to her country then that potentially gets you out of alimony and public charge payments. Get an immigration lawyer in the morning.

ps, I only recommend getting a lawyer about 3 times per year. I hate lawyers, but sometimes they do help us from being screwed.

[Ramses 0]

I am thinking of making an appointment with a Immigration officer to seek advice. Do you ll think this would be sufficient?

[tigerlily 0]

I had an arranged legal marriage back on November 28th of 2008. I petitioned for my wife under the K-3 process and she was here in June of 2009. I want to get a divorce or annulment because I do not wish to conitnue my life with this terrible person. I live in California and I am not to sure about the rules here but let me tell you all what she has so far. She has her green card and she doesn't work, go to school, anything!!! She is a public charge and a complete pain!! What can I do to make this go easy without court and lawyers?? Can I withdraw from the affidavit of support? Is it too late? She also never disclosed to me that her mother is mentally ill, just that she is "depressed". I don't know if there is a law in California that constitutes any rights against that because that was never disclosed to me nor my family. I need help please!!

As far as I know, the beneficiary is not entitled for a green card if the marriage is less than 2 years. What she or he will get is a temporary green card after her AOS is approved. She has has to file 90 days before the marriage reaches 2 years to remove the condition. You can still revoke her green card if you are not married for 2 years. When she has no green card, she has to leave U.S. soon because she has no visa.

In the Philippines, the only ground for annulment is psychological incapacity. If she is psychological incapacitated or has psychiatric problem, it could be a strong ground for a divorce in your country since this problem is deep seated and beyond cure, thus no marital relation could exceed could ever exist.

Being a complete pain to you may not be a ground because you married her for better or for worse.

Act now. Look for a remedy now before you ran out of time.

Maybe someday you can find someone whom you can share rainbows.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

As far as I know, the beneficiary is not entitled for a green card if the marriage is less than 2 years. What she or he will get is a temporary green card after her AOS is approved. She has has to file 90 days before the marriage reaches 2 years to remove the condition. You can still revoke her green card if you are not married for 2 years. When she has no green card, she has to leave U.S. soon because she has no visa.

In the Philippines, the only ground for annulment is psychological incapacity. If she is psychological incapacitated or has psychiatric problem, it could be a strong ground for a divorce in your country since this problem is deep seated and beyond cure, thus no marital relation could exceed could ever exist.

Being a complete pain to you may not be a ground because you married her for better or for worse.

Act now. Look for a remedy now before you ran out of time.

Maybe someday you can find someone whom you can share rainbows.

Ooo valid point, forgot about this.

If you have yet to file for removal of conditions then there is still some hope. Report her immediately (you said you have an appointment set up). She would need to prove a bonafide marriage in order to ROC without you and it definitely seems like a bonafide marriage didn't happen.

Good luck with your appointment with immigration. **fingers crossed* for you.

[Ramses 0]

So do I just call the USCIS to have her temporary residence revoked? Will they sk me under what grounds I am doing this for? What should I say?

[Ramses 0]

Another question I have is, if I get a legal divorce, wont that terminate her Temp Residence and force her to return to her country thus in turn me not having to pay alimony and things of that nature?

[Wyld Blu 35]

Ok, I am not sure how volatile your relationship with your wife is or not, but you don't need a lawyer to get divorced in California, but it DOES take 6 months.

My ex husband and I had a very peaceful divorce. We did it ourselves through "We The People" and it cost under $500.00. We split everything ourselves and didn't fight about anything. I realize this is not the norm for most people. If there is a lot of animosity and fighting, you will probably have to get a lawyer which is sad, because they usually make it even a harder battle. But in California, there is a 6 month waiting period.

I am also not sure how your mother in law's mental state, and non-disclosure of it could be a factor. You didn't marry her mom.

-Blu-

[Y's_habibitk 2]

As far as I know, the beneficiary is not entitled for a green card if the marriage is less than 2 years. What she or he will get is a temporary green card after her AOS is approved. She has has to file 90 days before the marriage reaches 2 years to remove the condition. You can still revoke her green card if you are not married for 2 years. When she has no green card, she has to leave U.S. soon because she has no visa.

In the Philippines, the only ground for annulment is psychological incapacity. If she is psychological incapacitated or has psychiatric problem, it could be a strong ground for a divorce in your country since this problem is deep seated and beyond cure, thus no marital relation could exceed could ever exist.

Being a complete pain to you may not be a ground because you married her for better or for worse.

Act now. Look for a remedy now before you ran out of time.

Maybe someday you can find someone whom you can share rainbows.

She can file to remove conditions on her own. She only has to prove that she married in good faith, which it sounds like she did.

to the OP,

you cannot just make an appointment to have someone's status "removed"

If you guys are indeed in need of a divorce and she doesnt mind going back home... just get the divorce and let her go home. you cannot just "send her back" if she doesnt want to go, Im sorry.

If the marriage was arranged, your parents/family should have known that her mom was mentally ill. I think you should talk to your family about this fact, not blame your wife... just my two cents. I do wish you good luck and an easy seperation.

Edited February 8, 2010 by Y's_habibitk

[Ramses 0]

Her family told me that she was "depressed" and lied by not disclosing/telling me that she is mentally ill. I talked to a rep at the USCIS and they said stated that because our marriage hasn't reached it's 2 year mark, I can try to revoke her temp status.

[Wyld Blu 35]

Her family told me that she was "depressed" and lied by not disclosing/telling me that she is mentally ill. I talked to a rep at the USCIS and they said stated that because our marriage hasn't reached it's 2 year mark, I can try to revoke her temp status.

Being depressed CAN be a form of mental illness first off. And I am not sure she is required to disclose any medical history regarding her family to you, unless it is something genetic that directly affects your wife. I am not getting the connection to that. It looks like possibly you are trying to use that as an excuse to divorce from your wife? Forgive me if I am wrong...but it is just an observation.

-Blu-

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Being depressed CAN be a form of mental illness first off. And I am not sure she is required to disclose any medical history regarding her family to you, unless it is something genetic that directly affects your wife. I am not getting the connection to that. It looks like possibly you are trying to use that as an excuse to divorce from your wife? Forgive me if I am wrong...but it is just an observation.

-Blu-

It sounds to me like the OP is bothered because this is an arranged marriage and he thought he was "getting better" out of the arrangement. I know that sounds strange but in an arranged marriage you don't think about it not mattering because you love them, but that you were lied to when "purchasing goods".

I'm not trying to be rude but I think that's where his irritation is. Mental illness is typically genetic (depending on the illness of course). I assume the OP is upset that he can't have children with this person (without risk of passing on the illness), she is probably "acting crazy" and he's scared that his wife will turn into her mother.

HOWEVER, OP, not knowing about the mental illness is as irrelevant as her not telling you she smokes, or that she doesn't like your cooking. It's simply not necessary. Sure it would have been nice to know what you're getting into, but it just didn't work that way. It could be uncomfortable for her to share with you, as an arranged marriage especially where she is scared you'd reject her or, as you did, consider her "faulty goods".

Divorce her if you want to, but this isn't grounds for divorce. Hopefully she'll go home so she can marry again and you'll be off the hook. But that's a BIG if.