Cheating Fiance

[mawilson 2,133]

You would do it either way? How shocking

I'd prefer 2 guys so I can finally get some sleep

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I don't know if women are the same as men, but I do believe what you're saying is 100% true about most men. I always wonder about this, I wonder if my husband will get sick of sleeping with the same woman after 20 years and want to cheat, lol... I brought it up the other day and he says he'll never get sick of me, but I do think it's pretty inevitable and the biggest complaint of cheaters/divorcees - sex life, right? My solution: threesome, that's only if I get to choose the other girl

While it is true most women are monogamous in their infidelity, it is also true that women are reluctant to completely burn their bridges behind them. Even though she says it's over now, it is never really over in the back of her mind. It is just a matter of self-preservation.

For the OP. Dude, you have to make a clean break and forget about it. Move on. Breaking up is painful, no matter how wrong she did you. Just go celibate for a while, before you make another mistake, and make things worse.

[FortLaudy 10]

I dont believe one bit that she was remorseful for cheating on you. I think she is remorseful that she might screw up her chances of living in the states with you and use you however way she wants; cause she can if you let yourself be a doormat.

*If you'll have me*... words from the person who was cheated on? If you take her back and she does it again, dont be surprised.

Yeah, I wonder if the guy she cheated with is a USC or not? maybe playing the field and keeping her GC opportunities open with a few USC's ??

I'd prefer 2 guys so I can finally get some sleep

lucky you !

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Do I give the girl another chance, or cut her loose? Well, I know I'm the only one who can make that decision. But I'm curious what others would do, given the circumstances.

Without trust there can't be love or growth for love. You both have laid a foundation in those two years together and obviously have trust and feelings for each other to not just cut the cord after this kind of deal breaker. If this were a relationship facebook status right now you could put it as, "It's complicated." We can't control the actions of the person we're with. We have to have trust in them. Her mercurial reclamation and the initial hesitation should be some kind of indication what is really in her heart. She may be the type who keeps going on because you can't let her go. Actions speak louder than words and if someone doesn't really want to be with someone then would you really want to stay with that person?

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Against my better judgment, I forgave her and told her I still love her, and that if she'll have me as her husband, I still want her to be my wife. But I told her I don't feel comfortable with her going to nightclubs, because I think it's tough to avoid the temptation in that kind of environment when you're feeling vulnerable. She didn't like this, because she enjoys going out and dancing with her friends. I understand that, and I don't want to keep her from enjoying the company of her friends. But now everytime she goes out, I feel so anxious about it that I can hardly sleep.

If that's really how you feel, the relationship is doomed (which may not be a bad thing).

[JasonNRuchelle 0]

I have been apart from my fiance for about 5 months. We've been together for 2 years, and both lived in her native country originally. We were with each other every day and had an amazing relationship with a fantastic connection. Unfortunately, I had to return to the US for a plethora of reasons. I wanted her to come with me, but of course we've been forced to wait because of the K1 visa process.

We've been getting along well using Skype, emailing every day and talking on the phone. But a few weeks ago, I'd noticed something changed. She started to seem more distant, and I immediately knew something was wrong. I confronted her about it, and she confessed to me that she'd met a guy at a nightclub, and she was feeling alone and emotionally vulnerable. She slept with him.

Damn, the agony. But she told me she felt terrible about it and that she really loved me, and was angry with herself for having allowed it to happen. My take?

Well, 5 months is a long time. But somehow I've managed to keep faithful to her, so I can't help but feel really upset about this. However, I also know that we're all human, and it's tough for me just to write her off because of it, especially considering she told me the truth when she could have kept it a secret.

Against my better judgment, I forgave her and told her I still love her, and that if she'll have me as her husband, I still want her to be my wife. But I told her I don't feel comfortable with her going to nightclubs, because I think it's tough to avoid the temptation in that kind of environment when you're feeling vulnerable. She didn't like this, because she enjoys going out and dancing with her friends. I understand that, and I don't want to keep her from enjoying the company of her friends. But now everytime she goes out, I feel so anxious about it that I can hardly sleep.

Does this mean it's time to say good-bye? Am I being unreasonable by telling her I'm not comfortable with her going to clubs? Should I just suck it up and try to trust her again?

We've only got about a month and a half left of waiting ... so I'm really at a loss as to what to do. I love her, and I know that she loves me. But is she too lacking in maturity and self-control to build a happy marriage together? I don't want to be completely blind here ... I am in love with the girl.

Some third party opinions are much appreciated. Thanks!

If she going to clubs all the time. That means she not ready to settle down. If she cant wait just couple of months you really need to consider what ur getting yourself into. Its not just a normal relationship. your taking a girl out her country. She knows nothing about life in the US. Her whole world will change. Plus you will be paying a lot of money for this relationship to have happen. The AOS is very expensive. So make certain this is what u want. She might change when she comes to the US b/c she wont know anyone but you. You will be here life. She will depend everything on you. Its a big step. My wife just came from philippines. We waited way longer than you did. But we could be faithful that long I know both of us are ready to give up everything to be together. Find a filipino she treat you better...promise you..We are very happy together..We give everything to God! we thank him everyday...so if its meant to be everything will fall right in place...good luck!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

If she going to clubs all the time. That means she not ready to settle down. If she cant wait just couple of months you really need to consider what ur getting yourself into. Its not just a normal relationship. your taking a girl out her country. She knows nothing about life in the US. Her whole world will change. Plus you will be paying a lot of money for this relationship to have happen. The AOS is very expensive. So make certain this is what u want. She might change when she comes to the US b/c she wont know anyone but you. You will be here life. She will depend everything on you. Its a big step. My wife just came from philippines. We waited way longer than you did. But we could be faithful that long I know both of us are ready to give up everything to be together. Find a filipino she treat you better...promise you..We are very happy together..We give everything to God! we thank him everyday...so if its meant to be everything will fall right in place...good luck!

From the frying pan into the fire!

Edited February 7, 2010 by Lone Ranger

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Find a filipino she treat you better...promise you..

Stereotypical bullsh!t.

[Fandango 1,440]

Stereotypical bullsh!t.

Mark this day in your calendar, ITA with you...

[Yahya54 4]

if she cheat ones she will do it agian i cant stand cheater pple i know this has to hurt i been thier

good luck

[FortLaudy 10]

Stereotypical bullsh!t.

Cheaters come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

[_Simpson_ 250]

Stereotypical bullsh!t.

say what you will about stereotypes but more often than not they do tend to be true. With that said I dont see the problem with this stereotype because it doesnt take away from the fact that there are great woman throughout the world but if you head towards the Philippines the odds are in your favor.

Edited February 7, 2010 by _Simpson_

[Ban Hammer 14,274]

I don't think I could handle that, honestly. But isn't it always a secret fantasy of guys to have threesomes: 1 guy with 2 girls (or more ) ?

[FortLaudy 10]

So you tried it huh charles?

Physically sure it's possible, but it's the weirdness factor I couldn't deal with. Another girl though, not such a big problem, lol

Edited February 7, 2010 by Shani682

[msld007 0]

" Damn, the agony. But she told me she felt terrible about it and that she really loved me, and was angry with herself for having allowed it to happen. "

Doesn't seem like she respects you enough for you to commit.... actions speak louder than words

- Good Luck