taking people seriously

[sandinista! 1,816]

am i the only one who has trouble taking people seriously, or holding their viewpoints as legitimate when they've been downright racist in the past, targetting certain nationalities repeatedly, and throwing in lots of islamophobic commentary from time to time, just for good measure?

should myself and others be forgiving and forgetting, and just take comments they make now at face value, even though there's never been an apology, or any expressed acknowledgment from these posters that some of the comments they've made were unacceptable, and regrettable? i don't care how long ago it happened, i'm still disgusted by it. and i know other people are too. to me anyways, it's like the 800 pound gorilla in the room, every time they post. to those who are still able to respond to these people without this coming up, how do you do it? how do you find any shred of credibility left from them?

[New Beginnings 32]

I think the most helpful thing to me was just realizing that people are idiots. If someone has said something racist to me or about my husband's nationality you can bet I will never help them with anything. I know that's vindictive but I don't care.

[Teffah 5]

I'm not sure I understand, or maybe I am not supposed to understand. But isn't religion, any religion, about forgiving - however hard it may be. Sometimes we just have to be the bigger person.

[New Beginnings 32]

Yes, religion is about forgiveness. But as the confession of sins for the Lutheran church I attend states:

O almighty God, merciful Father, I a poor, miserable sinner, confess to You all my sins and iniquities with which I have ever offended You and justly deserved Your punishment now and forever. But I am heartily sorry for them and sincerely repent of them, and I pray You of your boundless mercy and for the sake of the holy, innocent, bitter sufferings and death of Your beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to be gracious and merciful to me, a poor sinful being. Grant me by your Grace, your great Salvation both now and forever. Amen.

I know I'm not perfect and never will be. So unfortunately, I still hold on to some of that stuff.

Edited January 8, 2010 by New Beginnings

[Teffah 5]

I am not perfect either, never claimed to be. Forgiveness can be so difficult, but isn't it mandatory for us to do if we want God to forgive our sins? I'm not trying to preach!! And don't ask me if I can easily forgive, because in most cases it is more than difficult!

[msheesha 548]

am i the only one who has trouble taking people seriously, or holding their viewpoints as legitimate when they've been downright racist in the past, targetting certain nationalities repeatedly, and throwing in lots of islamophobic commentary from time to time, just for good measure?

should myself and others be forgiving and forgetting, and just take comments they make now at face value, even though there's never been an apology, or any expressed acknowledgment from these posters that some of the comments they've made were unacceptable, and regrettable? i don't care how long ago it happened, i'm still disgusted by it. and i know other people are too. to me anyways, it's like the 800 pound gorilla in the room, every time they post. to those who are still able to respond to these people without this coming up, how do you do it? how do you find any shred of credibility left from them?

It seems that if you're looking for enlightened, educated, open-minded view points, this is not always the place that you're going to find it. Accepting that and taking the forum and posters on it, for what it's worth, seems a healthy, balanced approach.

It seems to me that taking any of the stuff written - beyond factual visa related help that can sometimes be provided on here- too seriously is often times setting yourself up for annoyance and irritation.

It's a microcosm of the real world - alert people on their racist, bigoted ways, and move along. It's up to them if they want to examine it in themselves or not. You've done the best you can to call them on it, and it's not on you any longer.

Do you really want to engage with the people you're talking about, or just highlighting that you feel the people that do are sell-outs?

[New Beginnings 32]

I am not perfect either, never claimed to be. Forgiveness can be so difficult, but isn't it mandatory for us to do if we want God to forgive our sins? I'm not trying to preach!! And don't ask me if I can easily forgive, because in most cases it is more than difficult!

I'm with you on that one. However, in my religion we're not forgiven of our sins until we truly from our hearts repent of them. I think Sandinista is referring to people who haven't done that. If someone offends me and sincerely asks for forgiveness and realizes in their heart why it was wrong there is no choice but to offer forgiveness. If you don't truly repent of your sins you won't be allowed into heaven.

If someone continues to offend me and cannot see why they're in the wrong, I'm not going to forgive them. I will ignore them and not concern myself with them, but I won't be there like a dog that's been kicked too many times.

[LaL 418]

am i the only one who has trouble taking people seriously, or holding their viewpoints as legitimate when they've been downright racist in the past, targetting certain nationalities repeatedly, and throwing in lots of islamophobic commentary from time to time, just for good measure?

nope you are not alone.

[sandinista! 1,816]

It seems that if you're looking for enlightened, educated, open-minded view points, this is not always the place that you're going to find it. Accepting that and taking the forum and posters on it, for what it's worth, seems a healthy, balanced approach.

It seems to me that taking any of the stuff written - beyond factual visa related help that can sometimes be provided on here- too seriously is often times setting yourself up for annoyance and irritation.

It's a microcosm of the real world - alert people on their racist, bigoted ways, and move along. It's up to them if they want to examine it in themselves or not. You've done the best you can to call them on it, and it's not on you any longer.

Do you really want to engage with the people you're talking about, or just highlighting that you feel the people that do are sell-outs?

i would have no problem engaging with them if they provided some recognition that prior offenses were wrong and regretted. and yes, i do feel as though the people that engage them are sellouts, and the "omg guys, stop bashing so and so" mentality is a total sellout too. the wrong people get demonized. yr right that it's not on me anymore, or anyone else that has said their piece. but it does still get frustrating to be demonized for saying yr piece about something that's seriously messed up, when the blame really should lie on the person saying the really messed up stuff. such is life.

nope you are not alone.

i knew it!

[Teffah 5]

Oh yeah, I agree. They must WANT to be forgiven.

I gotcha.

[msheesha 548]

i would have no problem engaging with them if they provided some recognition that prior offenses were wrong and regretted. and yes, i do feel as though the people that engage them are sellouts, and the "omg guys, stop bashing so and so" mentality is a total sellout too. the wrong people get demonized. yr right that it's not on me anymore, or anyone else that has said their piece. but it does still get frustrating to be demonized for saying yr piece about something that's seriously messed up, when the blame really should lie on the person saying the really messed up stuff. such is life.

It seems it would only be frustrated if you valued the opinions of those people who are demonizing you.

I don't know the specifics of who you're talking about, or the dynamics, but sometimes a victim is a victim is a victim is a victim....

Once someone has it in their minds/hearts that one person is the underdog, no matter what they do or say gets overlooked and anyone who calls them on it is looked at as the bad guy. Just life, like you said.

But, does any of this really impact your life, your family, etc. etc. etc. If not, then who cares?! Just the dynamics of an anonymous forum! Often, a lot crazier than real life!

[chri'stina 190]

i would have no problem engaging with them if they provided some recognition that prior offenses were wrong and regretted. and yes, i do feel as though the people that engage them are sellouts, and the "omg guys, stop bashing so and so" mentality is a total sellout too. the wrong people get demonized. yr right that it's not on me anymore, or anyone else that has said their piece. but it does still get frustrating to be demonized for saying yr piece about something that's seriously messed up, when the blame really should lie on the person saying the really messed up stuff. such is life.

I feel that way at times - especially the first sentence. So yeah, you are not the only one. Even if we don't all mean the same people, it happens all the time anyway.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Anyone who takes kat seriously needs to get a clue. I missed gettingmy response in on the closed thread, but many of us who have been reading her racist rants and self-serving negativity on this board for years are willing to challenge her sad sack act.

[KittyPollitt 284]

am i the only one who has trouble taking people seriously, or holding their viewpoints as legitimate when they've been downright racist in the past, targetting certain nationalities repeatedly, and throwing in lots of islamophobic commentary from time to time, just for good measure?

should myself and others be forgiving and forgetting, and just take comments they make now at face value, even though there's never been an apology, or any expressed acknowledgment from these posters that some of the comments they've made were unacceptable, and regrettable? i don't care how long ago it happened, i'm still disgusted by it. and i know other people are too. to me anyways, it's like the 800 pound gorilla in the room, every time they post. to those who are still able to respond to these people without this coming up, how do you do it? how do you find any shred of credibility left from them?

I've always been one to try and understand another person's point of view, all the while taking everything with a grain of salt and not taking things too personally.. Ultimately, you can't expect a person to apologize if they meant what they said in their heart- also, when a person is ignorant or racist, nothing you say or do is going to alter their point of view. Their bigotry is just words, and a reflection on their character- they only serve to make themselves look foolish. I say, let them do it. In the end, the truth defends Islam, and no one is going to make me a racist by acting like one around me.. and as far as their credibility, regardless of what you might think of them on a personal level, they've been through this process, and that's what the forums are supposed to be about- the immigration process.. just my 2 cents..

[Sofiyya 1,687]

We've all been thru this process, That doesn't excuse ignorance or hijacking threads to make them all about her.