LD&RD

[Ladman 0]

To all those who may of know us. This one did not work out. My wife Rosana abandoned me last month, have not herd from her or do not know where she is. The thing is I knew it from the beginning she was not in it for love. Even my family and her friends what few of them she let me know would ask me why I thought she came to America. She made here her own friends which I was never invited to go and be a part of her life. All I was invited to do was to take her places for photo’s and proof of an on going marriage. This was a short lived marriage and costly one on my part. I wish you all better luck on yours. But be careful. I stand to loose what little I have left and she does not care one thing about me.

[PhiLandShiR 18]

I am very sorry, words can not begin to soften the pain. Take care and time will heal this pain.

Change your locks and bank account numbers, cancel your credit cards.

Its time to move on...

-phil

To all those who may of know us. This one did not work out. My wife Rosana abandoned me last month, have not herd from her or do not know where she is. The thing is I knew it from the beginning she was not in it for love. Even my family and her friends what few of them she let me know would ask me why I thought she came to America. She made here her own friends which I was never invited to go and be a part of her life. All I was invited to do was to take her places for photo’s and proof of an on going marriage. This was a short lived marriage and costly one on my part. I wish you all better luck on yours. But be careful. I stand to loose what little I have left and she does not care one thing about me.

[Nizzy 1]

I am so sorry this happened to you. But, if you knew from the beginning, why did you go ahead with it? Was it one of those things where you didn't want to believe it?

[alienlovechild 75]

The thing is I knew it from the beginning she was not in it for love.

When I read sad stories like this I wonder how often this happens. My guess is there are more than you'd assume judging by posters because the people in trouble aren't likely to talk about their problems and aren't frequent posters for very long.

Edited December 23, 2009 by alienlovechild

[thongd4me 69]

I too am sorry to hear this.

Been there, done that.

My ex-Japanese wife told her parents that she was getting married and their reaction was:

"Can't believe it, did she get knocked up?"

Apparently they thought she would never end up marrying anyone.

The mother, father & older sister got on a plane and came to check me out a week later.

By that time I already had my doubts about the wisdom of my decision,

but when her folks seemed to be nice people I decided to suck it up and

go against my gut (which was get the hell out of there fast).

We ended up with 2 kids and divorced almost 22 years later.

No, she wasn't "knocked up" when we married.

[alienlovechild 75]

By that time I already had my doubts about the wisdom of my decision,

but when her folks seemed to be nice people I decided to suck it up and

go against my gut (which was get the hell out of there fast).

We ended up with 2 kids and divorced almost 22 years later.

You married your wife because her parents seemed like nice people? I've heard you "marry" your spouse's family, too, but this is carrying it to an extreme.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

To all those who may of know us. This one did not work out. My wife Rosana abandoned me last month, have not herd from her or do not know where she is. The thing is I knew it from the beginning she was not in it for love. Even my family and her friends what few of them she let me know would ask me why I thought she came to America. She made here her own friends which I was never invited to go and be a part of her life. All I was invited to do was to take her places for photo’s and proof of an on going marriage. This was a short lived marriage and costly one on my part. I wish you all better luck on yours. But be careful. I stand to loose what little I have left and she does not care one thing about me.

sorry to hear this. Like others said. Minimize your losses and secure access to you finances.

[sachinky 464]

Was it a happy 22 year old marriage or a bitter, unhappy one?

OP--I don't have much to say. Except I'm sorry.

[Ladman 0]

I am so sorry this happened to you. But, if you knew from the beginning, why did you go ahead with it? Was it one of those things where you didn't want to believe it?

correct. I married Rosana out of love, I stayed married to her out of love and I am not ashamed that I love her. I spent everything I had on her and her daughter out of love which was not a lot but it was all I had. Again I am not ashamed because I all did for her and her daughter was out of love. Rosana once told me marriage and relationships are not about love but money. I truly believe this is how she feels.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I've read enough threads like these to know there are two sides to every story. While I'm sorry you are grieving, none of us know her side of the story. Most often in threads like these, the USC claims fraud, but I'm skeptical that she stayed with you for 3 years with the intent to just bolt one day without a word.

[thongd4me 69]

You married your wife because her parents seemed like nice people? I've heard you "marry" your spouse's family, too, but this is carrying it to an extreme.

Not exactly - I married her first.

Her folks did not come into the picture until after the damage was done.

Typically the men in my family stick to it through thick & thin and don't divorce as a rule.

I have one brother who did divorce before me but in his case she was cheating on him

and they never had any kids.

When kids are involved things become more complicated. I knew I wanted to divorce fairly early,

but I also knew I couldn't afford to support myself living separately until the mortgage was

paid off. Infidelity was never an issue but respect was.

I knew there were problems in the beginning, but my approach of being patient over

a period of years in the last analysis was a wrong one. I was only trying to get her

to see I wasn't the enemy, but that never changed even up to this day.

[thongd4me 69]

Was it a happy 22 year old marriage or a bitter, unhappy one?

OP--I don't have much to say. Except I'm sorry.

Very bitter and unhappy. I never stayed out overnight or dated women while

I was living there. I did go online to discuss marriage & divorce issues and

found out I was not alone. I also made a point of not being willing to discuss

sex online because when women come on to men like that there is often a

hidden agenda. I just wanted to know why women were disappointed in their

husbands/boyfriends and what they want out of relationships. It was a great

learning experience which prepared me to recognize the right one when she

came along. Although I decided on an Asian (again) in the end, most of my online

friends were not Asian.

And by the way - when I announced my intention to divorce she made such

a show of being shocked it was positively unbelievable - even if we hadn't

been a "couple" for more than 10 years.

Edited December 23, 2009 by thongd4me

[Ladman 0]

I've read enough threads like these to know there are two sides to every story. While I'm sorry you are grieving, none of us know her side of the story. Most often in threads like these, the USC claims fraud, but I'm skeptical that she stayed with you for 3 years with the intent to just bolt one day without a word.

It is true you only know one side. But if you really think you know she also had almost 3 years to plan, make new friends, and learn how to and manipulate the system.. God is my witness that I married her out of love for her and her daughter and I need no other witness. I am not looking for sympathy here.

[Nessa 23]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[thongd4me 69]

It is true you only know one side. But if you really think you know she also had almost 3 years to plan, make new friends, and learn how to and manipulate the system.. God is my witness that I married her out of love for her and her daughter and I need no other witness. I am not looking for sympathy here.

You have my sympathy nonetheless. There were warning signs for me and I ignored them (my bad) but not everybody can be calculating and analytical all the time.

We let our guard down, we want to believe, we want to be in love even if it is not deserved.