Hey come on ...

[verde 0]

This is a support forum. It's for sharing, advice, and support - not for insulting people or otherwise.

I read the DOS websites, federal law, and all instructions provided by the Embassy.

I do have rights. If the embassy says, both on their website and voicemail that they will respond to all emails within 3 business days, or that they will accept calls between 2pm and 4pm, then they should. And we all have a right to be treated with dignity.

I do have a serious illness, and today I cannot even walk. I am confined to my bed, in severe pain (Multiple Sclerosis). This is why my visa process was expedited.

I don't want to argue semantics or have people tell me "how dumb" I am. I'd rather they tell what has worked for them, talk about experiences with the same Embassy, etc.

I want to share my experience and hear yours, share ideas, etc.

Unless you are an immigration attorney, don't put yourself out there as the know all end all expert of the universe. We only know our experiences, our contexts, our perspectives, our hearts, our minds, and what we did firsthand. Don't assume what other people know or don't know, or have done or not done.

I only know I followed the rules the Embassy gave me and provided all the documentation requested.

I also know we have both a K3 and CR1 at the Embassy.

I get conflicting information here regarding what that means, what I should do, etc - not only from posters here, but from the NVC and the Ebassy itself.

I am tired today and so sick. I don't feel like getting yelled at.

If you can tell me something specific and tangible that I did wrong, then point it out - but nonspecific insults are silly.

I come here for help, you insult me for not knowing enough - when for all you know I know just as much as you.

Why the angry attitudes? I just don't get it.

Wish I could walk to get some water right now. Wish my husband was here. I miss him so much and love him so much.

Feeling sad and hurt tonight.

Edited November 18, 2009 by verde

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

verde i'm sorry you're in so much pain. the process is already difficult as is but you can't take everything you read her too personal

sometimes how a person wants to convey something and how it comes across when you read it are two different things

there are lots of supportive ppl in here, have you tried posting in the MENA forum?

when you do feel like someone is being unkind, just keep it moving, ignore them

[Old Dominion 26]

I don't see evidence of anyone here being unkind. Everyone seems to be saying that you have done all you can, and there is no need to make any more phone calls, etc. until the result is known. You're not in control of the outcome; they are, and we hope they know what they are doing. I know about MS, and it is very debilitating, a terrible handicap, but the MS victims I know never seemed urgent about anything, just patient with their situation knowing that it will not get better.

[verde 0]

I don't see evidence of anyone here being unkind. Everyone seems to be saying that you have done all you can, and there is no need to make any more phone calls, etc. until the result is known. You're not in control of the outcome; they are, and we hope they know what they are doing. I know about MS, and it is very debilitating, a terrible handicap, but the MS victims I know never seemed urgent about anything, just patient with their situation knowing that it will not get better.

I respectfully disagree that some of the comments were not unkind, but I appreciate your post. I know I'm not in control of the outcome, but I feel frustrated jumping through the hoops. It's hard to be in a position of powerlessness, especially when you know you've done nothing wrong - yet may be denied anyway. Yeah, MS is crappy and it doesn't get better. Most people don't know much about it. There is no cure. Some days are good. Some days are bad. Today is so bad I can't do anything, and today's a day I wish my husband was here with me. That was the point of the expedite, not desperation. I don't know why it would be a bad thing to feel desperate to be with your spouse, but desperate was a word the CO used, not my husband. I wish they recorded interviews. Sometimes I feel like no one really believes that our CO was not nice, polite, respectful, reasonable, rational, or sensible. It seems like it was a trial where you weren't allowed cross-examination, testimony, evidence, or witnesses. You just got to sit and listen to the judge/prosecutor pronounce you guilty ... with no defense allowed.

[rebeccajo 14]

verde -

It's pretty apparent that you are the emotional, talkative sort.

You've been reading advice in this forum from people who are more matter-of-fact and pragmatic. It's their nature.

I know you've had a dose of 'not nice' from the Department of State. But try to separate that from people just being people on Vj. I really think most posters have been pretty patient.

[verde 0]

verde -

It's pretty apparent that you are the emotional, talkative sort.

You've been reading advice in this forum from people who are more matter-of-fact and pragmatic. It's their nature.

I know you've had a dose of 'not nice' from the Department of State. But try to separate that from people just being people on Vj. I really think most posters have been pretty patient.

Eh, forget it. If you've seen the snide comments and wouldn't be hurt by them yourselves then what does it matter? I am not blaming anyone here for what the OC was like. I have responded to posts and thanked people who were kind and helpful, and even responded politely and appreciatively to those I disagreed with. But it only takes a few cruel comments to bring you down, when you're here trying to get up.

I want what everyone wants. To be listened to (not just heard), to be understood, to be given sincere and good faith suggestions, without being told you are ignorant or being told you have not done things that you have clearly done and stated so in previous posts (or vice versa). I want empathy, encouragement, support ... to hear from others who have been through the same. I don't want "expert" opinions from non-experts (you get enough of that in court, only they get paid for it). I don't want to be told to bend over and take it by the Embassy. I don't want to give good faith suggestions (like advice on how to handle the interview) and have them shot down when I gave no specific directions just advice based on my experience and regret. And I hate all of these contradictions. One doesn't know who to listen to. One guy insists that we can't get a K3 with a CR1 on file, the NVC says we can, some people only chime in with snide comments. I don't need to be told "I need an education or that I need therapy or that I am emotional" or any other insults. Of course I am emotional! I appreciate the sincere posts. The snide people comments must be really really bored and really really angry or insecure or whatever. People here post to express themselves, update others on their cases, and respond to other people's posts. Every single post doesn't have a clear, specific motive. Not mine, not anyones. I feel helpless, I'm stuck in bed today with MS, and am frustrated at having followed the instructions only to be given different instructions at the interview. That's all. That's all. If that means you gotta be mean and analyze me, then that's your issue, not mine.

Edited November 19, 2009 by verde

[rebeccajo 14]

verde -

It's pretty apparent that you are the emotional, talkative sort.

You've been reading advice in this forum from people who are more matter-of-fact and pragmatic. It's their nature.

I know you've had a dose of 'not nice' from the Department of State. But try to separate that from people just being people on Vj. I really think most posters have been pretty patient.

Eh, forget it. If you've seen the snide comments and wouldn't be hurt by them yourselves then what does it matter? I am not blaming anyone here for what the OC was like. I have responded to posts and thanked people who were kind and helpful, and even responded politely and appreciatively to those I disagreed with. But it only takes a few cruel comments to bring you down, when you're here trying to get up.

I want what everyone wants. To be listened to (not just heard), to be understood, to be given sincere and good faith suggestions, without being told you are ignorant or being told you have not done things that you have clearly done and stated so in previous posts (or vice versa). I want empathy, encouragement, support ... to hear from others who have been through the same. I don't want "expert" opinions from non-experts (you get enough of that in court, only they get paid for it). I don't want to be told to bend over and take it by the Embassy. I don't want to give good faith suggestions (like advice on how to handle the interview) and have them shot down when I gave no specific directions just advice based on my experience and regret. And I hate all of these contradictions. One doesn't know who to listen to. One guy insists that we can't get a K3 with a CR1 on file, the NVC says we can, some people only chime in with snide comments. I don't need to be told "I need an education or that I need therapy or that I am emotional" or any other insults. Of course I am emotional! I appreciate the sincere posts. The snide people comments must be really really bored and really really angry or insecure or whatever. People here post to express themselves, update others on their cases, and respond to other people's posts. Every single post doesn't have a clear, specific motive. Not mine, not anyones. I feel helpless, I'm stuck in bed today with MS, and am frustrated at having followed the instructions only to be given different instructions at the interview. That's all. That's all. If that means you gotta be mean and analyze me, then that's your issue, not mine.

Maybe I should have been more clear.

I saw what people were saying to you. And I saw who they were. Honestly, if you had been around here a little longer and knew the post history of some of those individuals, you'd know why I said they had been patient with you. They are capable of being FAR LESS charitable. Far.

[Welshcookie 17]

You have been listened to (extensively) and understood...and given been some excellent advice....I'm at loss at what more you want tbh.

Go away for a month....I don't mean that in a bitchy way...be still for a month in every way.

Edited November 20, 2009 by Welshcookie

[verde 0]

You have been listened to (extensively) and understood...and given been some excellent advice....I'm at loss at what more you want tbh.

Go away for a month....I don't mean that in a bitchy way...be still for a month in every way.

I am going away for good, and within a month my husband will be here anyway and I won't need total strangers to say rude things to me. A lot of people have been helpful and supportive, but just as many have simply been mean.

Thanks.

[Welshcookie 17]

I am going away for good, and within a month my husband will be here anyway

So why all the drama and numerous threads over the week?

I'm pleased for you that your husband will be with you soon, I'm sure everyone is

[verde 0]

I am going away for good, and within a month my husband will be here anyway

So why all the drama and numerous threads over the week?

I'm pleased for you that your husband will be with you soon, I'm sure everyone is

If I cut and pasted all of the cruel, rude, insulting, and uncalled for comments posted by others here to me, and acted as if I were the one saying them, I'd be royally chewed out. That says a lot. I've asked Ewok to remove me. The only advice I've gotten here is to shut up, be quiet, don't make waves, don't ask questions, blindly obey, get therapy, take a crash course in immigration, and get off of this forum. It was all very useful advice. Thanks so much.

You can feel righteous and good about this, or you can think sincerely about what's been said TO ME here and why I may have responded defensively. Either way, you scared a person needing help away and you've made yourselves look like a high school clique. I'll let you know when he arrives in the U.S., no thanks to any of your unfriendly and discouraging advice.

I am going away for good, and within a month my husband will be here anyway

So why all the drama and numerous threads over the week?

I'm pleased for you that your husband will be with you soon, I'm sure everyone is

If I cut and pasted all of the cruel, rude, insulting, cynical, and uncalled for comments posted by others here to me, and acted as if I were the one saying them, I'd be royally chewed out. That says a lot. I've asked Ewok to remove me. The only advice I've gotten here is to shut up, be quiet, don't make waves, don't ask questions, blindly obey, get therapy, take a crash course in immigration, and get off of this forum. It was all very useful advice. Thanks so much!

You can feel righteous and good about this, or you can think sincerely about what's been said TO ME here and why I may have responded defensively. Either way, you scared a person needing help away and you've made yourselves look like a high school clique. I'll let you know when he arrives in the U.S., no thanks to any of your unfriendly and discouraging advice.

Edited November 20, 2009 by verde

[morocco4ever 63]

Maybe I should have been more clear.

I saw what people were saying to you. And I saw who they were. Honestly, if you had been around here a little longer and knew the post history of some of those individuals, you'd know why I said they had been patient with you. They are capable of being FAR LESS charitable. Far.

This is a forum to give immigration advice. Many of the people that have posted on your threads have been through the system, and have a very good understanding of how it works. It seems that you want validation more than solid advice. Perhaps it is best that you find a forum specifically for that rather than start thread after thread demanding everyone see things the way you do.

Does anyone know of a good validation forum for these kinds of people? Anyone? Please, for the love of God, give this woman a link.

[New Beginnings 32]

Maybe I should have been more clear.

I saw what people were saying to you. And I saw who they were. Honestly, if you had been around here a little longer and knew the post history of some of those individuals, you'd know why I said they had been patient with you. They are capable of being FAR LESS charitable. Far.

This is a forum to give immigration advice. Many of the people that have posted on your threads have been through the system, and have a very good understanding of how it works. It seems that you want validation more than solid advice. Perhaps it is best that you find a forum specifically for that rather than start thread after thread demanding everyone see things the way you do.

Does anyone know of a good validation forum for these kinds of people? Anyone? Please, for the love of God, give this woman a link.

[Donna A 4]

lady, all i can say is if you act like you act here with your husband....dont expect him to stay around very long.

people here have been good to you until you just kept sounding like a broken record and tried their patience. yes, your sick with MS and weve heard it time and time again....but stop using your illness as a crutch as to your behavior with them. sick or not, u cant keep going on and on about the same thing.

for other people....stop replying to her. your getting no where!! she says she just wants someone to listen to her...so just listen and dont advise. thats what she wants....someone to listen. maybe she will finally be happy.

[allousa 1]

My husband and I had to endure 4 YEARS apart and I tried to share our story and advice with you and you came back being rude and insulting!

I could offer alot of advice about going through interviews and dealing with lost paperwork or mistakes made by the CO, but you don't want anyone's advice here.

I have found you EQUALLY as rude and insulting as you claim people to be on VJ. I mean telling someone that you hope their interview gets screwed up.....that IS nasty and mean.

There are some WONDERFUL people on this site and some that I will be friends with for a long time to come. It's a shame that your behavior has not allowed you to find the same.

I concur that if this is such a horrible venue for you, move on.

Edited November 20, 2009 by allousa