The Vent - Part Trois

[darkchilde794 5]

It's like making out publicly! What's worse is when its family doing it! EWW!!!!! I have to hear my cousins wife talk about their love life... I am like: TMI!

Why does your WIL like your husband or something? If so that's kind of disturbing.

Actually, I draw the line on "Missing my cookie bear I lub him so much!". That is just gross So I agree with you on that. I do put on whatever awesome stuff the redhead does for me and of course all my wedding planning stuff (cause I'm actually planning a wedding whereas she is planning a hotdog party) on fb cause my happiness is the witch's unhappiness.

I have to say though that my anger towards the witch is slowly growing to indifference, which is so awesome as I thought I would never get past my resentment and be able to hear her name without seeing red. Ive gotten some damn good therapy from VJ Canada OT and Vent threads, so thanks guys!

[Sprailenes 47]

I can relate I have an extremely passive aggressive MIL and I have had to vent on VJ before.

[darkchilde794 5]

So do we have a "screwed up in-laws thread"?

Last night hubby and I went to my PIL's house to celebrate his 61st birthday. BIL and nephew came, but no WIL. Apparently, she decided that her house was a mess and cleaning it was more important than coming to her future FIL's birthday celebration. Even if MIL sent her an email asking her if she is coming, to which she did not reply... or that MIL bought her a cake and a gift because her birthday was also yesterday. OR that MIL bought crabs thinking that she would have 4 people eating crabs and not 3... (yes, crabs this early on the year in MD = $$$). WIL just decided not to show up and I am sure it's to punish MIL and BIL.

Anyway I had no problems with that, I had so much fun last night. On the way home, hubby remarked that he was relieved WIL did not show up because it would have added tension to the evening.

But BIL was not in a good shape. He looked miserable. He was smiling and laughing, but for most of the evening, he kept to himself. And every time he was asked a wedding question (just random, non-threatening wedding question), he pretended not to hear the question.

So finally MIL finally asked him if she ever did anything to offend the WIL, because the WIL has been so aggressive and mean towards her. BIL said he did not think she did anything wrong, and did not seem surprise that WIL was being rude and mean to his mum. So now we all know that he knows his fiancee is a b*tch. He said that MIL better talk to WIL and walked away.

This is not really a vent because WIL was not even there. But last night I realized exactly how all the family events in this family is going to be, after they marry. And it makes me really sad because I love every one in this family, and they are letting one person ruin the entire family dynamic because of her insecurities and selfishness. At this point, I really want to talk to BIL, but I know it's not my place.

Edited April 24, 2010 by darkchilde794

[Sprailenes 47]

Honestly, I am sure Treble wished she had talked to her BIL before he got married because he ended up in divorce right after the honeymoon. It's like seeing a tripping hazard and not letting someone know they're about to fall. If I get bad vibes about someone, I'll say something. But I am pretty open about everything with my family and friends. I know in most situations its awkward. I hear people say that often: "Its not my place". If it's not your place, then who's is it? If they're marriage doesn't work out, it's going to come out later: "Oh I saw that one coming". I mean you don't have to tell him to break up with her, you can tell him how she's making you feel. If she's like this now what's going to happen when she straps the ball and chain on him?

[Sprailenes 47]

So my in-laws call and want invite us over for dinner tonight. My husband says: "It's up to you" and I say: "Well I have a lot of stuff to do..." and then he gets upset. Like why tell me it's up to me and then get upset when it's not the answer that you want?

I mean I'm not stopping him from going over, but I have plans this weekend, and most people give SOME notice prior to inviting you over for dinner but whatever.

[trailmix 77]

What I don't understand is why anyone would want you to go anywhere you don't want to go. You know when you are like...a teen....and you want to go, wherever, so you ask your Sister or your friends to go somewhere and they don't want to so you talk them in to it. Then you get a bit older and you talk them in to going to some dumb candle sales party or whatever. THEN at some point you realize that you are tired of going places you don't want to and that those other people REALLY don't want to go to - wherever - either so from then on, when someone says no - you say...ok!

Anyway, that's the way I see it.

Maybe your Husband hasn't realized that it will probably go better if you don't go

Edited April 24, 2010 by trailmix

[Sprailenes 47]

I would have gone but I have plans, and this week yea my MIL kind of peeved us off with yet another crazy email, which I am totally pretty much over. It's calling the day of and thinking we can just drop things and go over. But she does this whenever she knows she's upset us in some way, invites us over. Which is sort of funny, because no one ever talks about the issue at hand, they just keep putting bandaids over the scrapes.

Like it would just be nice to hear: "Sorry guys, I've totally overstepped my boundaries AGAIN! Whoops!"

I understand being married is about compromise, I don't mind going over there most of the time, but this week we're packing, I promised Ethan we'd bring him to the movies, Ethan has a hockey game... and I want to make a tiramisu dammit.

Edited April 24, 2010 by Sprailenes

[ValerieA 350]

I hate it when people say "plz, pls, plx". Especially when people ask for help.

Is it so hard to spell out "please"?

Plz don't h8.

Heeheehee. I know, it annoys me too. Sometimes the abbreviations used take me forever to translate.

But BIL was not in a good shape. He looked miserable. He was smiling and laughing, but for most of the evening, he kept to himself. And every time he was asked a wedding question (just random, non-threatening wedding question), he pretended not to hear the question.

So finally MIL finally asked him if she ever did anything to offend the WIL, because the WIL has been so aggressive and mean towards her. BIL said he did not think she did anything wrong, and did not seem surprise that WIL was being rude and mean to his mum. So now we all know that he knows his fiancee is a b*tch. He said that MIL better talk to WIL and walked away.

This is not really a vent because WIL was not even there. But last night I realized exactly how all the family events in this family is going to be, after they marry. And it makes me really sad because I love every one in this family, and they are letting one person ruin the entire family dynamic because of her insecurities and selfishness. At this point, I really want to talk to BIL, but I know it's not my place.

Sounds like BIL is getting a clue. Maybe there won't be a wedding.

[Sprailenes 47]

I wonder if crazy in-laws (BIL, SIL, MIL, FIL) realize how negatively they effect the people around them.

Sometimes I wonder if my MIL realizes that the things she says effect my husband and I to the point where we discuss them way more than we should.

My marriage isn't perfect but it would be a lot better if she could just stop putting her nose and two cents in all of the time.

[Colleens 40]

On Thursday evening after our wedding my husband asked his brother to come over to help move some of our newly arrived goods into storage. His brother came over with a friend to help out. But later in the evening I noticed that my rings were not where I thought I had put them. I told hubby about it because I thought maybe he had moved them. We were looking around, and then he realized that his ring was missing as well (we decided not to wear our rings until our formal wedding in july so he had taken his off an put it back in the box). Both the brother and the friend have a history of stealing things, but to steal someones wedding rings on their wedding day....does it get any lower than that?????

[trailmix 77]

On Thursday evening after our wedding my husband asked his brother to come over to help move some of our newly arrived goods into storage. His brother came over with a friend to help out. But later in the evening I noticed that my rings were not where I thought I had put them. I told hubby about it because I thought maybe he had moved them. We were looking around, and then he realized that his ring was missing as well (we decided not to wear our rings until our formal wedding in july so he had taken his off an put it back in the box). Both the brother and the friend have a history of stealing things, but to steal someones wedding rings on their wedding day....does it get any lower than that?????

Oh no, I hope they turn up!

[Danu 19]

On Thursday evening after our wedding my husband asked his brother to come over to help move some of our newly arrived goods into storage. His brother came over with a friend to help out. But later in the evening I noticed that my rings were not where I thought I had put them. I told hubby about it because I thought maybe he had moved them. We were looking around, and then he realized that his ring was missing as well (we decided not to wear our rings until our formal wedding in july so he had taken his off an put it back in the box). Both the brother and the friend have a history of stealing things, but to steal someones wedding rings on their wedding day....does it get any lower than that?????

That would be so low. I really hope they just got moved, for someone to steal your rings at all, let alone on your wedding day, is horrible!

[darkchilde794 5]

Honestly, I am sure Treble wished she had talked to her BIL before he got married because he ended up in divorce right after the honeymoon.....<snip>......... I know in most situations its awkward. I hear people say that often: "Its not my place". If it's not your place, then who's is it? If they're marriage doesn't work out, it's going to come out later: "Oh I saw that one coming".

I think you are right. I've been thinking about this for almost a month now and I'm pretty annoyed that I'm still thinking about it... my biggest worry is that if I talk to BIL and he still pushes through the wedding, the witch (who knows I hate her) will turn the family against me (she is super nice to the rest of the family members she "deems" important). And I truly worry that BIL will also prevent me from interacting with his son, whom Ive grown to love so so so so so much.

And I agree with the statement I boldfaced. That's what I told my MIL -- if you or any in your family does not talk to him about it and they divorce, he will blame you for the divorce and might say, you should have said something, etc.

I do have to say that in the state of Maryland, if a couple gets a divorce within 5 years (I think) of their marriage, they don't split properties, which may be good for BIL cause it looks like this one is heading for divorce-ville too...

So my in-laws call and want invite us over for dinner tonight. My husband says: "It's up to you" and I say: "Well I have a lot of stuff to do..." and then he gets upset. Like why tell me it's up to me and then get upset when it's not the answer that you want? I mean I'm not stopping him from going over, but I have plans this weekend, and most people give SOME notice prior to inviting you over for dinner but whatever.

Yeah, why give you a decision if you already have a decision in mind? I dont get it. It is one thing to ignore an invitation and then not show up, but I applaud the honesty of just saying no, period. So good for you!

Today is the bride-witchzilla's shower and I decided not to go. I RSVP'd no. Im super pissed bec my MIL tried to "cover" up for me and say that "oh Frances really wanted to go, but she has work and has an event with my son later, so she really cannot go". Gawd, I did not want to go, period. No need to fabricate a story.

I wonder if crazy in-laws (BIL, SIL, MIL, FIL) realize how negatively they effect the people around them.

I am sure they do that's why they keep doing it.

Hopefully your husband will come to realize how your MIL affects you, and he needs to be able to control her or respect your decisions.

On Thursday evening after our wedding my husband asked his brother to come over to help move some of our newly arrived goods into storage. His brother came over with a friend to help out. But later in the evening I noticed that my rings were not where I thought I had put them. I told hubby about it because I thought maybe he had moved them. We were looking around, and then he realized that his ring was missing as well (we decided not to wear our rings until our formal wedding in july so he had taken his off an put it back in the box). Both the brother and the friend have a history of stealing things, but to steal someones wedding rings on their wedding day....does it get any lower than that?????

Oh Colleens, I am so sorry *hugs*. I hope you find the rings

Edited April 24, 2010 by darkchilde794

[Udella&Wiz 325]

On Thursday evening after our wedding my husband asked his brother to come over to help move some of our newly arrived goods into storage. His brother came over with a friend to help out. But later in the evening I noticed that my rings were not where I thought I had put them. I told hubby about it because I thought maybe he had moved them. We were looking around, and then he realized that his ring was missing as well (we decided not to wear our rings until our formal wedding in july so he had taken his off an put it back in the box). Both the brother and the friend have a history of stealing things, but to steal someones wedding rings on their wedding day....does it get any lower than that?????

Nope - that's about as low as you get. Your husband is going to have to ask them point blank, or maybe another family member can act as a go between?

PS....if it turns out you have to go to an AOS interview....you may want to pull the rings out and wear them that day

[Colleens 40]

Nope - that's about as low as you get. Your husband is going to have to ask them point blank, or maybe another family member can act as a go between?

PS....if it turns out you have to go to an AOS interview....you may want to pull the rings out and wear them that day

He has asked them, and although he denys it....they were the only ones that were here that day and we have torn the house up several times looking for them. He has stolen stuff from us before and denied it, but admited it later, so I am certain that they have already been pawned somewhere.

We will have to go shopping for new ones for the formal wedding so we will have them for an AOS interview!