Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[Minfay 0]

I wonder if it's something "they" are told before they leave Jamaica....

'Make sure you cook and clean when you first get to America. The woman will really appreciate it. Then, when you feel the time is right -- JUST STOP!! They won't complain -- at least to you they won't' :lol:

[thndrdancr 0]

ROFL, the showing him how to close the ziplock bag! Oh my, omigosh. This is what I was trying to say several months back when I was talking bout showing my husband EVERY LITTLE THING.

He wouldnt even try, he would just throw up his hands and say "I dunno how ta do dat". I had been showing him, but if he didnt know how, he would do this, instead of looking things over and trying to figure it out. Finally, I snapped one day when I was really tired and he had been helping clean, and I told him the vacuum cleaner bag needed to be changed. He did this typical lil childish fit..throwin his hands up and starting to walk off when I let him have it. This is basically what I said...I didnt bruise his ego with it, but I did kinda talk a lil more loudly than normal for sure. I said somethin like "Lake, you are SUCH a SMART guy, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why sometimes you cant look things over first, and at least TRY to figure them out!!!!, DaGNABIT!!!! Sometimes its really pretty easy, but PLEASE look at things first!!! Then I told him I DIDNT always know how to do them EITHER, but had to sit down and look things OVER. Then if ya cant figure it out, go ahead and have YOUR FIT!!!! Then its okay to!

I have to add that after that, now he really tried to stop and figure things out, and I cant think of one time since then that he hasnt been able to. I am so proud of him.

[luvtravlin 0]

ROFL, the showing him how to close the ziplock bag! Oh my, omigosh. This is what I was trying to say several months back when I was talking bout showing my husband EVERY LITTLE THING.

He wouldnt even try, he would just throw up his hands and say "I dunno how ta do dat". I had been showing him, but if he didnt know how, he would do this, instead of looking things over and trying to figure it out. Finally, I snapped one day when I was really tired and he had been helping clean, and I told him the vacuum cleaner bag needed to be changed. He did this typical lil childish fit..throwin his hands up and starting to walk off when I let him have it. This is basically what I said...I didnt bruise his ego with it, but I did kinda talk a lil more loudly than normal for sure. I said somethin like "Lake, you are SUCH a SMART guy, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why sometimes you cant look things over first, and at least TRY to figure them out!!!!, DaGNABIT!!!! Sometimes its really pretty easy, but PLEASE look at things first!!! Then I told him I DIDNT always know how to do them EITHER, but had to sit down and look things OVER. Then if ya cant figure it out, go ahead and have YOUR FIT!!!! Then its okay to!

I have to add that after that, now he really tried to stop and figure things out, and I cant think of one time since then that he hasnt been able to. I am so proud of him.

I checked (this morning after he left for work) to see if he closed up the zip lock bags (of lunchmeat) .....and he DID !!!!! I was in total shock that he actually TRIED on his own today.

[Minfay 0]

I checked (this morning after he left for work) to see if he closed up the zip lock bags (of lunchmeat) .....and he DID !!!!! I was in total shock that he actually TRIED on his own today.

Sometimes it's the little things that matter the most.....

[darlene 0]

OCTOBER 27TH...........

Just got an e-mail response asking if an interview date has been set.

And last week they told me early November.

Hopefully I can use my miles to go down as I am already leaving on the 10th of November for 12 days.

[Shemmy 4]

OCTOBER 27TH...........

Just got an e-mail response asking if an interview date has been set.

And last week they told me early November.

Hopefully I can use my miles to go down as I am already leaving on the 10th of November for 12 days.

Congrats

[Minfay 0]

OCTOBER 27TH...........

That's great....Congratulations!!

[Shemmy 4]

I wonder if it's something "they" are told before they leave Jamaica....

'Make sure you cook and clean when you first get to America. The woman will really appreciate it. Then, when you feel the time is right -- JUST STOP!! They won't complain -- at least to you they won't' :lol:

Sometimes I have to trick Damien into cooking. It's really sad but his food is really good. He was a chef (at least that's what he told me) when we first met.

Soon as other people find out he's Jamaican - they ask if he can cook for them I say sure when he starts cooking at home on a regular basis

[Minfay 0]

Roy is such a good cook -- nobody else in the whole world could get me to eat fish....his is so yummy....all that grease and flour....YUMMY!! But, all that good food has also landed on my butt & hips. He thinks it's funny....HA, HA, HA....needless to say, I'm not amused!!

Edited September 21, 2006 by Minfay

[phatmadame81 0]

OCTOBER 27TH...........

Just got an e-mail response asking if an interview date has been set.

And last week they told me early November.

Hopefully I can use my miles to go down as I am already leaving on the 10th of November for 12 days.

congrats Darlene

[Jonesie 1]

OCTOBER 27TH...........

Just got an e-mail response asking if an interview date has been set.

And last week they told me early November.

Hopefully I can use my miles to go down as I am already leaving on the 10th of November for 12 days.

Congrats if he is flying here with you, just be sure to give Airpak time (2-3 business days at minimum) to ship the visa (if being sent out of Kingston)

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

OCTOBER 27TH...........

Just got an e-mail response asking if an interview date has been set.

And last week they told me early November.

Hopefully I can use my miles to go down as I am already leaving on the 10th of November for 12 days.

Congratulations! Our interview was in October last year - a very good month!

I wonder if it's something "they" are told before they leave Jamaica....

'Make sure you cook and clean when you first get to America. The woman will really appreciate it. Then, when you feel the time is right -- JUST STOP!! They won't complain -- at least to you they won't' :lol:

Sometimes I have to trick Damien into cooking. It's really sad but his food is really good. He was a chef (at least that's what he told me) when we first met.

Soon as other people find out he's Jamaican - they ask if he can cook for them I say sure when he starts cooking at home on a regular basis

Henry is a fine cook as well. One day I came home and Henry had cooked. I looked in the 1st pot - rice and beans - ok. Looked in the second pot - plantains - all right. Looked in the 3rd pot - sweet mother of Moses! What the h??? in the pot I saw codfish (shredded) brocolli florets, carrots, okra, onions, red peppers all cooked down into a stew. I was ready to run for the hills and he looked hurt so I tried it. Guess what??? I had seconds. I had THIRDS!!! It ws the best tasting mess I had ever had.

[SAVANPHILMAN 0]

can u guys share exactly what happened at ur medical? pls

[wynterstail 0]

Here's a story on this topic...a sad but quite true story...

A nice woman, divorced, with two daughters, takes a vacation to Jamaica. She'a hardworking nurse, a country gal, completely unacquainted with life outside the US, let alone life in an island in the Caribbean.

And...of course, she meets a man. At Sumfest. Selling Red Stripe. Well--I'm sure I don't have to tell you ladies about the power of yard charm...it can be pretty intoxicating and she was besotted. She comes back to the US--and in a month she goes back down and marries him. She is completely giddy and excited. (Her daughters are a little bewildered at this point). She files the I-130 and gets him up here and, lo and behold, after six months she realizes that she did not marry a 40 year old white man from the suburbs of Cleveland disguised as a Jamaican chicken farmer. She was shocked he didn't want to go to brunch with her family. She was furious when he started hanging out. Do I need to tell you about "soon come?" (lol). She resented spending "her" money on grocery items like yam and cho cho and salt fish. In short, she wanted to have her cake and eat it too--she wanted the excitement, the fun, the passion...but didn't want to deal with the flip side of the coin. He just wasn't acting like she expected a husband to act. She knew in her head that alot of it was based in cultural differences--but deep down, she felt she was "right" and that he should be grateful just to be here. We had a long talk about how in the Caribbean (and other parts of the world as well), men and women, husbands and wives, often live parallel lives--they are there for each other at the end of the day, but are used to living pretty independent social lives. Doesn't always make for great companionship.

She ended up calling the DEA on him when he came home at 3 a.m. (who, thank God, must have taken the call for what it was--an angry woman trying to retaliate the only way she could think of--and ignored it). They are "taking a break" for the moment.

The point being, cultural differences are no joke and take committment and preparation from both partners, and I guess you have to read that--especialy the woman. I think we're just better at bending. Some guys just try to recreate the life they had down there, up here, and it can't help but cause friction.

But I know many, many couples who have overcome the intial culture shock--with patience and perserverance. My husband and I were happy for 15 years, and I met him the first week he set foot in America--them were some interesting years, I can tell you! So have faith and keep going.

Ann

Speaking from experience...you have to be willing to let them lead and be in control as much as possible, even when you know the "right" answer

So true...... The hard part is learing to keep your mouth shut when you really don't want to....

I guess I must admit that I get a little irritated sometimes with the whole situation.

When Roy first got here he was making dinner every night. I would come home and there he would be in the kitchen......as time went by, he stopped. I come home after working all day and I have to ask him what he wants then I have to start cooking. I think it has something to do with him being the man and me being the woman.....I do get pissed but....I have also learned to "not sweat the small stuff."

Kim -- Can't wait for Grey's and the shirts!!

What amazes me the most with this entire process, is that we ALL talked to them about EVERYthing BEFORE they got here over and over and over again......and our boys just did NOT "listen"

Kelly -- I don't know if it's that they didn't listen....I think they could never (in their wildest dreams) imagine how it would really be once they got to America. Look where they came from and what their "normal" day (in Jamaica) consisted of.....talk about culture shock.

This is hard. Really, really hard. You are dealing with a grown man who is experiencing things like he is a little kid. Can you imagine if you were suddenly "dropped" into the middle of Jamaica and had to learn to "fend for yourself?" How about going from no indoor plumbing or water.....to a dishwasher and garbage disposal. Just the little things can be so huge.....

I think we (sometimes) forget that we need to cut them a little slack.....

Good morning.

I totally agree with Mindy. You have learn not to sweat the small stuff. It also irked when Damien stopped cooking but he have no problems cleaning up, paying bills, etc. It just takes time.

[Jamaica to CT 0]

OCTOBER 27TH...........

Just got an e-mail response asking if an interview date has been set.

And last week they told me early November.

Hopefully I can use my miles to go down as I am already leaving on the 10th of November for 12 days.

Wow girl that was fast. Congratulations!!