Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[nyseness 0]

Kelly -- We haven't had any of "your' issues.....but.....Roy has gotten pulled over TWICE by our wonderful, local Police.....talk about Racial Profiling......when he is bored he rides around the neighborhood on his bike...guess the cops don't like that too much. At the rate he is going.....he will be pulled over by ALL the cops in our town by the time the month is over.

It's funny how you mention that (not saying I'm laughing at Roy) . My parents live in a mostly Jewish area in the north suburbs and my dad came home from work. I guess he felt bored (or whatever) so he rode his bike around the block for an hr. Well this couple from a house over (they just moved in) cld the police b/c they see a "strange black man" riding his bike up and down. Well after some time the police decided to show up and they were very upset that nothing could be done b/c he lived there. So now my dad does it on purpose daily to piss these ppl off. They are the only black folks on the whole entire blk. Racial profiling fo real!!!

To My Chicago family.....and whoever might be in town.....

The Link Up is set for Oct 14. We're meeting at Clark & Addison. Probably getting some dinner and then hitting the Wild Hare. Mindy & Roy.....you gotta come. Anna....please, you're my girl. And Jax....I don't know you too well but maybe you can get down there and we all could finally meet.

Any one every hear from Rita and Tashi. And what about you Rhonda....Chicago isnt too far of a ride. Is it????

Hi Jill,

Yea I'll be there but not sure about the Wild Hare. You know how I party and the Wild Hare is not up to my par... But I'll see.....

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Cali Kim! Congrats on getting your AOS filed! No you are not doomed re the cashier's checks. Hopefully you guys won't run into any drama like poor Ms. Squito did.

Speaking of MsSquito!! "Where are you, Carmen SanDiego?" We miss you "mooma Squito". We feel like latch key kids!!

[Sbys 0]

Hi,Sybs I see you there,

How is the baby ( he is sooo cute) ?

How is mommy life treating you?

We're wonderful And I'm loving being a mommy. I just realized the other day that my life is TOTALLY different and I love it. Wouldn't change a thing ....well, maybe that I have to go back to work but nothing else

you have been blessed with a beautiful family.

I really have

I know how hard addiction is (mine is certain foods). I have lost 15 pounds on this plan that I am on and on some days I would give up my healthy lunch for a cadbury bar and some smarties...but I know I want to be healthy. I wish I could give Mike a hug and tell him I am proud of him.

Congrats on losing 15 pounds, that's a huge accomplishment! What is the plan you're on? ...and I'll tell Michael for you and give him a lil' hug I've got to get him something for when he hits 1 year... anyone have any ideas??

--Can't leave the sliding glass door WIDE open when the air conditioning is on.

--Can't leave every flippin light and TV on in the house...especially here in Maryland when our electric bill just went up

We don't exactly have these problems, but kind of a mix. Michael wanted to leave the air conditioning on when it was 50 or 60 degrees outside. He said he wanted to keep it a "steady" temp and get Elias ready for winter slowly He's so darned cute sometimes

Isn't Elias just the cutest?!?!?

Absolutely the cutest !!!!!!!!

Awww... you guys are so sweet

Kelly -- We haven't had any of "your' issues.....but.....Roy has gotten pulled over TWICE by our wonderful, local Police.....talk about Racial Profiling......when he is bored he rides around the neighborhood on his bike...guess the cops don't like that too much. At the rate he is going.....he will be pulled over by ALL the cops in our town by the time the month is over.

He was "pulled over" on his bike???! Nice.

Ditto. Tell Michael to keep up the good work That is great.

I'll tell him... thanks

Okay...AOS/EAD officially mailed...we are on to STEP 2... I am afraid to say......the waiting begins...once again

Okay....now to the topic at hand......drinking!!!

NEW TOPIC.......

So most ALL of you told me that our relationship in Jamaica was going to be a totally different relationship in America....Before he got here.....I thought...yeah whatever....we are soo close and I know him sooooo well so our relationship will be NO DIFFERENT.... BULLSHIZNIT...........Boy was I WRONG.....the whole dynamics is different........not that our relationship is worst but just VERY different.........when the real world hits you, the whole vibe is different...plus.... in Jamaica...he was in control for the most part and now I am in control...this is very different and very hard on a man.....How did you get over this? How long did it take for the adjustment? What advice would you give to some of us that are just now going through this and for those that will soon learn what I am talking about........

Congrats on sending off AOS/EAD. Putting it together is the hardest part, its smooth sailing from here

And for the new topic - Michael has been here almost a year and I'm just noticing that he's starting to take control of more things. When he got here it was all me, but as he gets more comfortable with American life he takes on more responsibility... it helps him feel more like a man. In time, they start gaining back the self-esteem that was lost in those first months when they had to sit home and do nothing. You just have to be patient, it really does take a long time.

So now my dad does it on purpose daily to piss these ppl off.

Edited September 21, 2006 by Sbys

[rhondapayter 0]

Michael is a recovered alcoholic now. He hasn't had a drink since the day he got here... so he's been sober for 11 months now He had a bit of a problem with rum, actually it was so bad that it was starting to damage his liver.

He was a completely different man when he drank so yeah, it was a HUGE issue for us. He actually quit a while before he got here, but when we started geting close to an approval on our K1 and him moving he here he kind freaked out and had a relapse. But all is back on track now and he's doing great. He goes to AA meetings every Tuesday.

WOW Thanks for sharing your story. It's great that he's on the right track now. I know it's extremely difficult to get past admitting you have a problem. I've watched my cousin struggle with alcoholism for years now. I think he recently found out he has some liver damage too

So, how do you know when you're an alcohlic? How do they define "alcoholic"? Tony doesn't drink everyday, but sometimes he just HAS to have a drink. And he also drinks when he's bored or stressed (like Mindy said about Roy). I come from a family of social drinkers so it's unusual to me to drink during the middle of the week while you're just sitting at home watching TV

To My Chicago family.....and whoever might be in town.....

The Link Up is set for Oct 14. And what about you Rhonda....Chicago isnt too far of a ride. Is it????

It's possible I think it's about a 4 or 5 hour drive for us. I've never been there, but I'd like to visit it one of these days. Let me talk to Tony and find out. I have 2 vacation days left for the year - maybe I could use one and take a long weekend.

In regards to the drinking issue. That was a major issue when Craig 1st got here. He wanted to just "have a drink" at 10am on any day and I'm like....hooooold up a second !! We had MANY talks about being a "responsible" parental (type). He would LOVE to have a drink EVERY night that he comes home from work. I don't keep anything in the house. I did buy a 6 pack on the wedding night, that went quick. I'm a social drinker and could have a 6 pk in the fridge for a month.

Yes, this sounds just like Tony and I. If it were up to him, I think he would have a drink every night. And if it's in the house, he feels like he MUST drink it! I can have some coolers in the fridge for a month and not drink them (he won't touch those, they're "girlie" drinks ) but if there's beer or rum, he drinks it. He likes Wray & Nephew and I like Appleton so we each have our own bottle. Mine lasts me a month or two while his is gone is a few weeks

Kelly -- We haven't had any of "your' issues.....but.....Roy has gotten pulled over TWICE by our wonderful, local Police.....talk about Racial Profiling......when he is bored he rides around the neighborhood on his bike...guess the cops don't like that too much. At the rate he is going.....he will be pulled over by ALL the cops in our town by the time the month is over.

Roy got pulled over on his BIKE??? That's crazy! I didn't even know the cops could do that!!!

[rhondapayter 0]

Anyone have the following "issues" and/or "challenges"....cause these are our constant issues, or it can be the maturity (or lack there of).....

--We live in an apartment so that means you just can't go and sit in your car and have a drink and listen to music. You can do that IN your own home. He would not believe me that you can't have a drink (open) in your car....

--You can't just play music way loud at any hour.

--Can't leave the sliding glass door WIDE open when the air conditioning is on.

--Can't leave every flippin light and TV on in the house

--He HATES to wear a seatbelt and sometimes "refuses" to wear one!!

Yes, some of these have been "issues". Luckily, we have a house so the loud music isn't quite as big an issue. At least not when the windows are closed. There have been many times where I have come home and had to turn the radio way down because it was just blasting. I told him he was going to blow my speakers! He also has a bad habit of leaving all the lights, tv's, radio on all the time. Sometimes when he's not even home And the seatbelt thing was an issue at first. He's a little more used to wearing one now, but I used to constantly have to bug him to put it on. He doesn't want to be treated like a child but yet he won't just put the darn belt on by himself

Okay...AOS/EAD officially mailed...we are on to STEP 2... I am afraid to say......the waiting begins...once again

Congrats on getting the packet mailed out The waiting for this one isn't as bad because at least your man is here now so you're waiting TOGETHER The worst part is waiting for the EAD so he can work.

If I may add my 2 cents.....it sounds like more of a "control" issue for Craig and it sounds like he is rebelling against all the crazy American rules and he does not like being told what to do.....this is typical of most men..especially those hard-headed Jamaican men........

This is Sooooo true Tony couldn't believe the amount of "rules" we have here. He really couldn't believe that you can't walk out of a bar with your un-finished drink in your hand Also, you can't just "relieve" yourself anywhere you feel like it! He didn't believe me when I told him you can get a ticket for public urination (or whatever they call it) We're definately not nearly as laid back here as in Jamaica. Give it time, he'll get used to things.

So most ALL of you told me that our relationship in Jamaica was going to be a totally different relationship in America....Before he got here.....I thought...yeah whatever....we are soo close and I know him sooooo well so our relationship will be NO DIFFERENT.... BULLSHIZNIT...........Boy was I WRONG.....the whole dynamics is different........not that our relationship is worst but just VERY different.........when the real world hits you, the whole vibe is different...plus.... in Jamaica...he was in control for the most part and now I am in control...this is very different and very hard on a man.....How did you get over this? How long did it take for the adjustment? What advice would you give to some of us that are just now going through this and for those that will soon learn what I am talking about........ [/color]

First of all, I told you so Just kidding No, you really don't know until he gets here. You can talk about it all you want, but hard, cold reality is something totally different. He's going to feel helpless and pretty much like a child - having to rely on you for everything for awhile. It just takes time. There's not a certain amount of time I can tell you, but it gets better each day/week/month.

It's the little things at first that help a LOT. Get him his own video store card so he can rent movies on his own. Get him a bike (or public transport) and let him explore the area on his own. Let him help you make decisions - for instance when we were going out on the weekend, Tony would say he didn't know anything, you just pick. So I would give him like 3 or 4 options and tell him to pick one. That way he feels like he has some input at least. If you can, get him an ATM card or a Debit card so he doesn't feel like he has to ask you for money whenever he needs something. (Obviously there have to be guidelines here ) Get him his own cell phone if possible - this made a HUGE difference for Tony anyhow. It will get better with time, I swear

[Minfay 0]

It's Thursday!!! Yipee!!!!! :dance:

Oh NO...Oh SHIZNIT.....I only made one copy of the darned packet and forgot to make copies of the cashier checks...............I have the copies of the cashier check recipts with check number form the bank...Am I doomed??????

You are SOOOOOO doomed!!! NOT!! Don't worry about it. At least you have a copy -- and don't worry about the checks -- you have the receipts.....I am just overly #######!!

So most ALL of you told me that our relationship in Jamaica was going to be a totally different relationship in America....Before he got here.....I thought...yeah whatever....we are soo close and I know him sooooo well so our relationship will be NO DIFFERENT.... BULLSHIZNIT...........Boy was I WRONG

Patience and understanding are key.....also getting/allowing him to have his independence is also a big thing. Like Rhonda said, it does take some time but eventually it all works itself out.

When you get really frustrated at the way he is acting -- try putting youself into his shoes. He left his country, job, family and friends to be here. You are all he has. You leave every day and go to work. You are bringing all the cash and paying all the bills. For him, it's all you, you, you and none of me, me, me. The more independence you can get him the better. Also, having him be "in charge" of things helps too. It might sound minimal but Roy cuts the grass and cleans the house every week. That gives him responsibility and although I view it as something small -- it is really big for him.

Well this couple from a house over (they just moved in) cld the police b/c they see a "strange black man" riding his bike up and down. Well after some time the police decided to show up and they were very upset that nothing could be done b/c he lived there. So now my dad does it on purpose daily to piss these ppl off. They are the only black folks on the whole entire blk. Racial profiling fo real!!!

We live in a very mixed neighborhood BUT I took someones advice from here on VJ and talked to all my neighbors BEFORE Roy got here -- just letting them know that a "big, black man" was going to be at my house. If I didn't do that I am sure the cops would have been knocking on my door more than once. It sounds crazy but.....look, they're pulling him over on his bike....can it get any more crazy than that???

[wynterstail 0]

Speaking from experience...you have to be willing to let them lead and be in control as much as possible, even when you know the "right" answer. I think the toughest thing on West Indian men when they come here is the feeling of powerlessness; for anyone who immigrates as an adult--well, you're never as clever and smart and powerful and charming as you are in your native language/country. Also, life in the US is very isolating, if you're used to village life, where you know everyone, everyone knows you, and you have companionship and a place in the that world, life here can feel boring and lonely. In time, they find a balance (or, they should) between keeping the culture and life they grew up with, and accomodating life in America.

Okay...AOS/EAD officially mailed...we are on to STEP 2... I am afraid to say......the waiting begins...once again

Okay....now to the topic at hand......drinking!!!

This is not an issue for us......I do not drink and Duane was never a big drinker in Jamaica...the occasional Magnum....he brought back 24 Magnums when he arrived and they lasted up until a couple hweeks ago but he did share them with friends......I have some wine coolers and a six pack of beer in the fridge and it has been ther since he arrived. He has the occasional drink whne we go out to a club but it is very little...

Miss Kelly....You are correct.....keeping an open container of liquor in the car will give you a fat whooping ticket in Cali....Also......sitting in the car drinking and playing music just sounds kinda weird. If he is looking for some "alone" time, tell him to go into your bedroom and play his music and have a drink....you do those things inside the house...not on the street!!

As for the the air conditioning and lights....you need to explain it to him and make him pay the gas/electric bill.....that will definitely make him more aware of the cost issue.......as for the seat belt...he needs to get a ticket and make him pay for it...I bet you he will wear the darned seat belt after he gets pulled over and ticketed!!! I DID!!!! If I may add my 2 cents.....it sounds like more of a "control" issue for Craig and it sounds like he is rebelling against all the crazy American rules and he does not like being told what to do.....this is typical of most men..especially those hard-headed Jamaican men........try to explain that things are different and he needs to adjust to the laws of this Country.....it may take time but he will come around..especially if he starts having to pay the consequences of not listening......time should heal all of these issues......

NEW TOPIC.......

So most ALL of you told me that our relationship in Jamaica was going to be a totally different relationship in America....Before he got here.....I thought...yeah whatever....we are soo close and I know him sooooo well so our relationship will be NO DIFFERENT.... BULLSHIZNIT...........Boy was I WRONG.....the whole dynamics is different........not that our relationship is worst but just VERY different.........when the real world hits you, the whole vibe is different...plus.... in Jamaica...he was in control for the most part and now I am in control...this is very different and very hard on a man.....How did you get over this? How long did it take for the adjustment? What advice would you give to some of us that are just now going through this and for those that will soon learn what I am talking about........

[luvtravlin 0]

It's Thursday!!! Yipee!!!!! :dance:

Oh NO...Oh SHIZNIT.....I only made one copy of the darned packet and forgot to make copies of the cashier checks...............I have the copies of the cashier check recipts with check number form the bank...Am I doomed??????

You are SOOOOOO doomed!!! NOT!! Don't worry about it. At least you have a copy -- and don't worry about the checks -- you have the receipts.....I am just overly #######!!

So most ALL of you told me that our relationship in Jamaica was going to be a totally different relationship in America....Before he got here.....I thought...yeah whatever....we are soo close and I know him sooooo well so our relationship will be NO DIFFERENT.... BULLSHIZNIT...........Boy was I WRONG

Patience and understanding are key.....also getting/allowing him to have his independence is also a big thing. Like Rhonda said, it does take some time but eventually it all works itself out.

When you get really frustrated at the way he is acting -- try putting youself into his shoes. He left his country, job, family and friends to be here. You are all he has. You leave every day and go to work. You are bringing all the cash and paying all the bills. For him, it's all you, you, you and none of me, me, me. The more independence you can get him the better. Also, having him be "in charge" of things helps too. It might sound minimal but Roy cuts the grass and cleans the house every week. That gives him responsibility and although I view it as something small -- it is really big for him.

Well this couple from a house over (they just moved in) cld the police b/c they see a "strange black man" riding his bike up and down. Well after some time the police decided to show up and they were very upset that nothing could be done b/c he lived there. So now my dad does it on purpose daily to piss these ppl off. They are the only black folks on the whole entire blk. Racial profiling fo real!!!

We live in a very mixed neighborhood BUT I took someones advice from here on VJ and talked to all my neighbors BEFORE Roy got here -- just letting them know that a "big, black man" was going to be at my house. If I didn't do that I am sure the cops would have been knocking on my door more than once. It sounds crazy but.....look, they're pulling him over on his bike....can it get any more crazy than that???

I've talked to Craig a MILLION AND TRILLION times about bills, responsibility, house cleaning, helping etc etc. He says he "owes" money in Jamaica (I haven't asked what for) and I keep reminding him that he HAS to do HIS part and pay for the next step of the immigration, electric and now he ran up a $100 long distance phone bill when it finally got paid off last month. I've made copies of everything for him. I've typed out a budget plan...how much is coming in (for both) and whatnot. He STILL doesn't get it !!!!

If Craig wasn't so fortunate to go to work, I truly don't think we would have made it. He's soooooooooo darn fortunate to have had that opportunity early on (being that my client works for immigration here in Maryland and gave him a walkup appointment to get a work authorization permit). He just doesn't "get that" !! Craig really likes taking the bus because he does feel like he has his own independence. My son gave him his pre-paid phone (it's a start)...will help HIM manage his money/talk time (for now).

I used to bug Craig about the seatbelt, now I don't bother, because if HE gets a ticket, that will be on HIM !!! I had to laugh last week, we were driving down the highway and he looks over and there's a Sheriff driving next to us and Craig got "scared" cause he didn't have his seatbelt on...... and he was like, oh boomba...I don't have my belt on. I said to him, I'm not going to remind you, you have to take that responsibility of getting a ticket on your own.

I almost fell over when he asked if he could help ME with dinner last night AND then he vacuumed the bedroom because a friend of mine gave us a really nice dresser (that he was going to take to the dump), so we rearranged our bedroom last night. Now he truly feels like he has "his" own space (although I made TONS of room and adjustments for him so that he had space).

What amazes me the most with this entire process, is that we ALL talked to them about EVERYthing BEFORE they got here over and over and over again......and our boys just did NOT "listen". When Craig and I were watching Kidnapped last night he said, I should have brought my Jamaica movies here about the Jamaicans that come to America and don't do ANYthing but rob and hurt (kill) people and I said that's NOT how it really is here and that's why alot think and feel that way about America because of the movies they watch in Jamaica.......you HAVE to be a hardworking man to "make it".....that's a really hard lesson for him to grasp on to. Craig lived in Bluefields and it's in the middle of nothing, which in turn, makes alot of them get into alot of trouble !!

He also asked again last night.........are we going to go back to Jamaica? I was like as SOON as we can, especially after the paperwork is finished, but unfortunately it won't be this year. He said he NEEDS a vacation to be able to sit back, relax and DO nothing !!!

I'm glad that you guys wrote that info about riding the bikes because now I get to share with Craig (he likes reading your stories) and of course I don't share ALL of them.....but one day, it will "snap"!

Another issue we're starting to have is the company he's starting to keep (or has made friends with) from work. They are black american, mostly single guys (or cheat on their gfriends) and do NOT taking working seriously!!! They are feeding Craig's head with ALLLLL sorts of #######, like....you can just go out and buy a car, you don't NEED a license !!! That's only 1 of the things he's shared, I can ONLY imagine what else they've said to him.

Anyway, gotta run....have a great day everyone. It's chilly here today !!!!

Kelly

[kimlbs 0]

Thanks everyone who replied!!!! You have no idea how helpful some of your suggestions are......Mindy...you kinda helped keep me grounded with what you said.....I guess I must admit that I get a little irritated sometimes with the whole situation. Not that he is to blame but I have been feeling overwhelmed by bills, work and my son......Having Duane to "take care" of is hard somedays. I just need to stay more patient and remember what he is going through and know that it won't last forever.

I did get him his own cell phone and he does go to school and he does go down town and explore......I also give him money each week just to have some cash in his pocket without asking me. He has been working on his art so this keeps him busy and motivated.....

Speaking of that......he started painting some of his work on shirts.....they are REALLY amazing. We have already sold 25!!! Yippy!!! I am posting them on a web page as soon as he gets a larger variety...we have about 20 different ones now but each day I come home he creates a better one than the day before!!!! Man, my hubby is talented!!!! When we get them done, I will give you guys the link......trust me...you will die when you see these "Jamaican works of art" on shirts!!! Unbeleivable......

Have a Happy Thursday and remember...Greys Anatomy starts the new season TONIGHT!!!! That is one of my shows!!!!!

[Minfay 0]

Speaking from experience...you have to be willing to let them lead and be in control as much as possible, even when you know the "right" answer

So true...... The hard part is learing to keep your mouth shut when you really don't want to....

I guess I must admit that I get a little irritated sometimes with the whole situation.

When Roy first got here he was making dinner every night. I would come home and there he would be in the kitchen......as time went by, he stopped. I come home after working all day and I have to ask him what he wants then I have to start cooking. I think it has something to do with him being the man and me being the woman.....I do get pissed but....I have also learned to "not sweat the small stuff."

Kim -- Can't wait for Grey's and the shirts!!

What amazes me the most with this entire process, is that we ALL talked to them about EVERYthing BEFORE they got here over and over and over again......and our boys just did NOT "listen"

Kelly -- I don't know if it's that they didn't listen....I think they could never (in their wildest dreams) imagine how it would really be once they got to America. Look where they came from and what their "normal" day (in Jamaica) consisted of.....talk about culture shock.

This is hard. Really, really hard. You are dealing with a grown man who is experiencing things like he is a little kid. Can you imagine if you were suddenly "dropped" into the middle of Jamaica and had to learn to "fend for yourself?" How about going from no indoor plumbing or water.....to a dishwasher and garbage disposal. Just the little things can be so huge.....

I think we (sometimes) forget that we need to cut them a little slack.....

[luvtravlin 0]

Speaking from experience...you have to be willing to let them lead and be in control as much as possible, even when you know the "right" answer

So true...... The hard part is learing to keep your mouth shut when you really don't want to....

I guess I must admit that I get a little irritated sometimes with the whole situation.

When Roy first got here he was making dinner every night. I would come home and there he would be in the kitchen......as time went by, he stopped. I come home after working all day and I have to ask him what he wants then I have to start cooking. I think it has something to do with him being the man and me being the woman.....I do get pissed but....I have also learned to "not sweat the small stuff."

Kim -- Can't wait for Grey's and the shirts!!

What amazes me the most with this entire process, is that we ALL talked to them about EVERYthing BEFORE they got here over and over and over again......and our boys just did NOT "listen"

Kelly -- I don't know if it's that they didn't listen....I think they could never (in their wildest dreams) imagine how it would really be once they got to America. Look where they came from and what their "normal" day (in Jamaica) consisted of.....talk about culture shock.

This is hard. Really, really hard. You are dealing with a grown man who is experiencing things like he is a little kid. Can you imagine if you were suddenly "dropped" into the middle of Jamaica and had to learn to "fend for yourself?" How about going from no indoor plumbing or water.....to a dishwasher and garbage disposal. Just the little things can be so huge.....

I think we (sometimes) forget that we need to cut them a little slack.....

I completely "get it", but Craig has ALOT of relatives that live in the states and have been here for yeeeeears and he said THEY have even talked about how things are here, amazing how the appliances are, I've explained that too......but, it just sucks that they "think" that reality is what they see (movies or cable) and hear from others that have been here (or what they've heard or THINK that "they" know) and we have to reprogram that.

Plus, like Kim (and many others), that are raising a child (or children) on our own.....it's frustrating to have a "grown" child. It does wear on you day after day after day and yes, this entire scenario takes ALOT of patience, but we are human ....I sometimes think that Craig "expects" me to be Ms Happy ALL day, every day and run around with my head chopped off and be superwoman. Come Friday, I'm emotional and physically drained from the week. We sometimes watch the show Wife Swap and I've told him that I'm going to sign him up for Husband Swap just so that he could truly appreciate everything that "I" do and go through each day !!

My uncle has a beachhouse, not glamourous by any means. Us kids were fortunate to spend our summers there with my grandparents. We had no airconditioning, well water that you did NOT drink from and an out house ....it's still that way today. They've built up the outside and the houses around his house are reeeeeeally nice, but all the same things still apply. I've talked to Craig over and over again about these experiences that I've had. Scrubbing clothes with that iron thing (that they have in Jamaica). I'm not new to the things in Jamaica. I've been going to Jamaica for 10 yrs and although my belongings are at a hotel, I'm alllllllll over the place. I have alot of friends whose houses I've visited and such.....

[Minfay 0]

I'm lucky -- I don't have this to deal with BUT -- one of the hardest things is dealing with relatives or friends that are already here in the U.S. I have read lots of "#######" here on VJ about what they "pump" into our SO's heads.....in a way, they are like little children -- they are very impressionable.....

[luvtravlin 0]

I'm lucky -- I don't have this to deal with BUT -- one of the hardest things is dealing with relatives or friends that are already here in the U.S. I have read lots of "#######" here on VJ about what they "pump" into our SO's heads.....in a way, they are like little children -- they are very impressionable.....

Oh, extremely impressionable. I mean having to show Craig how to close up a zip lock bag yesterday....come on, just TRY to figure things out for yourself. He has "no time" for that and I'm like you HAVE to make the time to figure out things for yourself, or you'll NEVER learn them for yourself!!! Working has helped with ALOT of "understanding", especially in the business that he's doing. If he screws up someones order....that would be the end of his job.

Okay, now I'm outta here.....late for the part-time gig...

[Shemmy 4]

Speaking from experience...you have to be willing to let them lead and be in control as much as possible, even when you know the "right" answer

So true...... The hard part is learing to keep your mouth shut when you really don't want to....

I guess I must admit that I get a little irritated sometimes with the whole situation.

When Roy first got here he was making dinner every night. I would come home and there he would be in the kitchen......as time went by, he stopped. I come home after working all day and I have to ask him what he wants then I have to start cooking. I think it has something to do with him being the man and me being the woman.....I do get pissed but....I have also learned to "not sweat the small stuff."

Kim -- Can't wait for Grey's and the shirts!!

What amazes me the most with this entire process, is that we ALL talked to them about EVERYthing BEFORE they got here over and over and over again......and our boys just did NOT "listen"

Kelly -- I don't know if it's that they didn't listen....I think they could never (in their wildest dreams) imagine how it would really be once they got to America. Look where they came from and what their "normal" day (in Jamaica) consisted of.....talk about culture shock.

This is hard. Really, really hard. You are dealing with a grown man who is experiencing things like he is a little kid. Can you imagine if you were suddenly "dropped" into the middle of Jamaica and had to learn to "fend for yourself?" How about going from no indoor plumbing or water.....to a dishwasher and garbage disposal. Just the little things can be so huge.....

I think we (sometimes) forget that we need to cut them a little slack.....

Good morning.

I totally agree with Mindy. You have learn not to sweat the small stuff. It also irked when Damien stopped cooking but he have no problems cleaning up, paying bills, etc. It just takes time.

[luvtravlin 0]

AOS paperwork....

What's the **latest** any of you guys have filed? I know Jonesie sent paperwork in late....but just wanted to check with you guys because after going over our "finances" that's going to become an issue and I'm freakin out !!

Thanks for any help ........

Kelly