Leaving VJ

[me_4_musa 1]

I like the song Chemaatah posted but I also like Ray Charles' "Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more."

[New Beginnings 32]

I don't know, maybe this is just my cynical side... but to me posts like this seem like a way to get people to try to change your mind to try to get you to stay so that you feel wanted.

VJ is a give/take relationship. The people that take the time out of their busy schedule.. between work, school, family, friends, their own immigration situation.. deserve to be thanked for their contribution and willingness to help you. IMO.. if you have time to read the response, you have time to put a nice Thank You! post on the thread.

Also, I remember feeling a little offended by some posts in the beginning because they weren't wrapped nicely in "warm fuzzies" (nice, gentle comments). A lot of time they're the straight fact and you have a choice to either accept what people say, or not accept it. In fact, that's also true in life. Most people don't keep your feelings and emotions in mind, if someone says something that bothers you... it is your choice on how to react to it. You can either accept it as someone just having a bad day or that maybe they're just a jerk in general or you can choose to give it power over your life.

I often take the route of not giving it power to change my life. But being a girl.... I sometimes let things bother me

All this being said, it's your decision if you want to leave and not use a valuable tool that is free to you. If you feel you have a great handle on this than go for it. Thankfully VJ members are not vindictive people so if you ever do need to come back, you would be welcomed with open arms. Make the decision that's right for you.

Edited October 15, 2009 by New Beginnings

[morocco4ever 63]

Edited October 15, 2009 by morocco4ever

[ya falaha! 0]

Well said.

I want to add about your comments re: someone having a bad day or just a jerk in general. Many of us here who may seem "jerky" are actually really cool, lovely ppl. Not having a bad day, not having a bad life, not in a bad mood but perhaps have low tolerance for certain behaviors. Certain ppl rub me the wrong way. I like lots of ppl around here and act accordingly. I don't like some ppl and most of the time I just don't respond to their posts. When someone comes along behaving like the OP behaves it pisses me off. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling when I'm able to help someone but when it's obvious that someone doesn't even bother to do *any* leg work of their own, well that's just laziness. Instead of wanting ppl to lay everything on your lap perhaps ask, where can *I* find such and such info? I'm obviously not alone in my thinking here. There are many forums here, guides, archives, etc. Do a little poking around, if you can't find what you're looking for ask. Also, like many others I went through my VJ awhile ago. Things have changed with paperwork, requirements and procedures. But I can give advice about interview stuff, adjustment in the US stuff, etc. Sometimes it's the delivery. I know I can be short with ppl or straight forward and it comes off as b!tchy. Ppl should maybe be adults about this. We are a bunch of ppl with different lives, different situations and different personalities.

I don't know, maybe this is just my cynical side... but to me posts like this seem like a way to get people to try to change your mind to try to get you to stay so that you feel wanted.

VJ is a give/take relationship. The people that take the time out of their busy schedule.. between work, school, family, friends, their own immigration situation.. deserve to be thanked for their contribution and willingness to help you. IMO.. if you have time to read the response, you have time to put a nice Thank You! post on the thread.

Also, I remember feeling a little offended by some posts in the beginning because they weren't wrapped nicely in "warm fuzzies" (nice, gentle comments). A lot of time they're the straight fact and you have a choice to either accept what people say, or not accept it. In fact, that's also true in life. Most people don't keep your feelings and emotions in mind, if someone says something that bothers you... it is your choice on how to react to it. You can either accept it as someone just having a bad day or that maybe they're just a jerk in general or you can choose to give it power over your life.

I often take the route of not giving it power to change my life. But being a girl.... I sometimes let things bother me

All this being said, it's your decision if you want to leave and not use a valuable tool that is free to you. If you feel you have a great handle on this than go for it. Thankfully VJ members are not vindictive people so if you ever do need to come back, you would be welcomed with open arms. Make the decision that's right for you.

[New Beginnings 32]

Well said.

I want to add about your comments re: someone having a bad day or just a jerk in general. Many of us here who may seem "jerky" are actually really cool, lovely ppl. Not having a bad day, not having a bad life, not in a bad mood but perhaps have low tolerance for certain behaviors. Certain ppl rub me the wrong way. I like lots of ppl around here and act accordingly. I don't like some ppl and most of the time I just don't respond to their posts. When someone comes along behaving like the OP behaves it pisses me off. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling when I'm able to help someone but when it's obvious that someone doesn't even bother to do *any* leg work of their own, well that's just laziness. Instead of wanting ppl to lay everything on your lap perhaps ask, where can *I* find such and such info? I'm obviously not alone in my thinking here. There are many forums here, guides, archives, etc. Do a little poking around, if you can't find what you're looking for ask. Also, like many others I went through my VJ awhile ago. Things have changed with paperwork, requirements and procedures. But I can give advice about interview stuff, adjustment in the US stuff, etc. Sometimes it's the delivery. I know I can be short with ppl or straight forward and it comes off as b!tchy. Ppl should maybe be adults about this. We are a bunch of ppl with different lives, different situations and different personalities.

I don't know, maybe this is just my cynical side... but to me posts like this seem like a way to get people to try to change your mind to try to get you to stay so that you feel wanted.

VJ is a give/take relationship. The people that take the time out of their busy schedule.. between work, school, family, friends, their own immigration situation.. deserve to be thanked for their contribution and willingness to help you. IMO.. if you have time to read the response, you have time to put a nice Thank You! post on the thread.

Also, I remember feeling a little offended by some posts in the beginning because they weren't wrapped nicely in "warm fuzzies" (nice, gentle comments). A lot of time they're the straight fact and you have a choice to either accept what people say, or not accept it. In fact, that's also true in life. Most people don't keep your feelings and emotions in mind, if someone says something that bothers you... it is your choice on how to react to it. You can either accept it as someone just having a bad day or that maybe they're just a jerk in general or you can choose to give it power over your life.

I often take the route of not giving it power to change my life. But being a girl.... I sometimes let things bother me

All this being said, it's your decision if you want to leave and not use a valuable tool that is free to you. If you feel you have a great handle on this than go for it. Thankfully VJ members are not vindictive people so if you ever do need to come back, you would be welcomed with open arms. Make the decision that's right for you.

To me, short answers are the perfect thing. Like I said, when people take the time out to help you they deserve a thank you. We aren't immigration lawyers that are assigned to help do everything for people. We're here to help clarify questions and point in the right direction. It bothers me when people don't do their own work because I'm not getting paid to do their immigration!

I've always liked your posts Astarte so I say keep doing what you're doing!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Sister Astarte is loving and helpful.

[ya falaha! 0]

Thanks, New Beginnings, I like yours as well.

Sister Astarte is loving and helpful.

[doodlebugg 10]

MW didn't you leave a couple of other times? Seriously if you're going to leave just leave. I've learned from experience that these posts are just "pay attention to me 'cause someone isn't acting the way I want" posts. I've done it before and it's kind of embarassing. Either put the big girl panties on and try to actually look for some of the stuff yourself or just do what you've said you're going to do a few times prior and leave. This is getting old. There are search functions on this site. You met your husband online and were able to navigate through that, this really isn't that much harder.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

MW didn't you leave a couple of other times? Seriously if you're going to leave just leave. I've learned from experience that these posts are just "pay attention to me 'cause someone isn't acting the way I want" posts. I've done it before and it's kind of embarassing. Either put the big girl panties on and try to actually look for some of the stuff yourself or just do what you've said you're going to do a few times prior and leave. This is getting old. There are search functions on this site. You met your husband online and were able to navigate through that, this really isn't that much harder.

You don't say.....

[familyguy 2]

:wave: See you next week then. Can you bring pizza on the way back?

[ya falaha! 0]

Kindly provide a phone number for a pizza place near her.

:wave: See you next week then. Can you bring pizza on the way back?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

and place the order, pay for it, retrieve pizza from pizza guy; set plates, slice pizza, add some chili flakes.....

Kindly provide a phone number for a pizza place near her.

:wave: See you next week then. Can you bring pizza on the way back?

[Jasman0717 8]

I am sorry to hear that you have been attacked. I know it is discouraging, I also have had the rath of some bozos that lerk here. The most important thing is that you do what you think is best for YOU so Claudeth and I wish you the best and hope your journey is a peaceful and successful one. Good luck

[ya falaha! 0]

Can you just feed it to me while you're at it?

and place the order, pay for it, retrieve pizza from pizza guy; set plates, slice pizza, add some chili flakes.....

Kindly provide a phone number for a pizza place near her.

:wave: See you next week then. Can you bring pizza on the way back?

[morocco4ever 63]

Can you just feed it to me while you're at it?

and place the order, pay for it, retrieve pizza from pizza guy; set plates, slice pizza, add some chili flakes.....

Kindly provide a phone number for a pizza place near her.

:wave: See you next week then. Can you bring pizza on the way back?

Then wipe the sauce off of my chin.

Edited October 15, 2009 by morocco4ever