Need Prayers...

[ttevolla 0]

In the beginning, I ignored the subtle warning signs such as extreme homesickness and blurted comments of wanting to go home because of some percieved misunderstanding. Actually she had said on three different occasions of wanting to go home. Once before the marriage and twice since marriage. Two weeks ago she went thermonuclear on me because of so called hurt feelings.

I honestly tried to be calm and not fuel the conflict by screaming back. This time she again talked about going home. She also said in her fury, if she had known her life would be as it is then she wuold not have married me. I asked her about the wedding vows and she immediately screamed she lied.

As I reflect on the past 11 months, I can see she really did not try to acclimate to the family or life in the US. It was I who compromised nearly everything in effort to make her welcome.

I do not want to give up; but, I am both emotionally and physically tired of walking on eggshells to keep her from exploding again.

[nurse1967 287]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you find peace and happiness in your life.

[Passing.star 0]

Im sorry to tell you but she must regret marrying you. I hope you can sort things out and I hope im wrong.

[john & jean 37]

Not wanting to give up takes two. Without cooperation from the S.O., the end result will be the same. Home sickness and culture shock are understandable. Have you considered marriage classes??

If she has made her decision to call it quits, there is not much that can be done. Eleven months is a long time to become adjusted....

BEST WISHES TO BOTH!!!!

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

Not wanting to give up takes two. Without cooperation from the S.O., the end result will be the same. Home sickness and culture shock are understandable. Have you considered marriage classes??

If she has made her decision to call it quits, there is not much that can be done. Eleven months is a long time to become adjusted....

BEST WISHES TO BOTH!!!!

agree

you've done your best and God knows how you wanted her to be adjusted and how much you love her. But if things will be this hard for you and the marriage,then it will still be your decision to let go or just keep on holding on.

Marriage Counselling, if it works...good. If not, well....its your choice..goodluck!

We will be praying for you

[Hoot 0]

How often does she get very emotional like this ??? Some people do come apart periodically - my wife does this every few months - there is no abusive behavior - I just console her or give her space and the next day she is sorry and back to normal. How does your wife feel and/or act a day or 2 after these incidents ??? As long as she is not abusive - you need to be as supportive as you can - then talk about it after she has cooled off. You might consider some kind of counciling as well. Best wishes in your journey.

Hoot N Dolly

[tallcoolone 102]

If you have given it your best, then that's all you can do.

It may be time to throw in the towel, and make another trip PI and find another girl who wants to be a good wife and take care of her husband.

[proud_bisaya 3]

In the beginning, I ignored the subtle warning signs such as extreme homesickness and blurted comments of wanting to go home because of some percieved misunderstanding. Actually she had said on three different occasions of wanting to go home. Once before the marriage and twice since marriage. Two weeks ago she went thermonuclear on me because of so called hurt feelings.

I honestly tried to be calm and not fuel the conflict by screaming back. This time she again talked about going home. She also said in her fury, if she had known her life would be as it is then she wuold not have married me. I asked her about the wedding vows and she immediately screamed she lied.

As I reflect on the past 11 months, I can see she really did not try to acclimate to the family or life in the US. It was I who compromised nearly everything in effort to make her welcome.

I do not want to give up; but, I am both emotionally and physically tired of walking on eggshells to keep her from exploding again.

Hello kuya AL , its me lyn .....ate merly's cousin .......ohh so sorry about what happen to you and ate merly... Please dont give up on her, maybe she is just having trouble in her mind for now,,,, i know she really loves you,,...i feel that since the time you and ate merly were still here in PINAS,

I offer prayer about your relationship,, TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS YOU.....

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Inappropriate comments have been removed. Post quoting same has also been removed and the valid comment from that post returned to the thread here:

DEDixon:

i'd encourage her to do what she wants to do... give her the financial means to go home and explicitly show her how to book a ticket if she doesn't know and then let her make the decision so she isn't talking about it as if she has no say in it or no means. just make it so she can't say anything about going home as if a ball and chain is attached.

if she does go home, file for divorce and be sure to be kind enough to send her the final decree so she knows where she stands.

Edited October 12, 2009 by Kathryn41

[rheanick 42]

In the beginning, I ignored the subtle warning signs such as extreme homesickness and blurted comments of wanting to go home because of some percieved misunderstanding. Actually she had said on three different occasions of wanting to go home. Once before the marriage and twice since marriage. Two weeks ago she went thermonuclear on me because of so called hurt feelings.

I honestly tried to be calm and not fuel the conflict by screaming back. This time she again talked about going home. She also said in her fury, if she had known her life would be as it is then she wuold not have married me. I asked her about the wedding vows and she immediately screamed she lied.

As I reflect on the past 11 months, I can see she really did not try to acclimate to the family or life in the US. It was I who compromised nearly everything in effort to make her welcome.

I do not want to give up; but, I am both emotionally and physically tired of walking on eggshells to keep her from exploding again.

Your wife is lonely and depress. I would say she is not alone in that emotion. But is it up to her to snap out of that emotion. You have to be patience with her and always make her feel special.

Does she have friends in your area. If she has someone to talk and share her emotion, it would help her. She need another female friend who could relate to what she is feeling right now.

It is not easy, but both of you have to battle this problem together. Ask her is she loves to do something. You must keep her busy. If she is not working, she could attend school or create a new hobby.

She needs your understanding now more than before.

Hope you both overcome this predicament.

[naksah 1]

In the beginning, I ignored the subtle warning signs such as extreme homesickness and blurted comments of wanting to go home because of some percieved misunderstanding. Actually she had said on three different occasions of wanting to go home. Once before the marriage and twice since marriage. Two weeks ago she went thermonuclear on me because of so called hurt feelings.

I honestly tried to be calm and not fuel the conflict by screaming back. This time she again talked about going home. She also said in her fury, if she had known her life would be as it is then she wuold not have married me. I asked her about the wedding vows and she immediately screamed she lied.

As I reflect on the past 11 months, I can see she really did not try to acclimate to the family or life in the US. It was I who compromised nearly everything in effort to make her welcome.

I do not want to give up; but, I am both emotionally and physically tired of walking on eggshells to keep her from exploding again.

That's really sad. Does she have something to do right now? Sometimes boredom increases home sickness so in case she's not doing anything, try to get her out of the house to meet and mingle with other people. A job, volunteering, dance/reading/singing classes, yoga, excises etc...these may help.

When she talks about going home, does she mean to visit and come back or ending her marriage with you completely? Maybe you can both take a vacation to the PI and see if that helps.

Good luck.

[Robert E Lee 0]

Inappropriate comments have been removed. Post quoting same has also been removed and the valid comment from that post returned to the thread here:

Reckon the mods ain't got nothing better to do!

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.....I knew exactly how felling right now and what is going through your mind ....

i have lost mine before she even got here.

Maybe some professional counseling will help.....even if does not... at least you have tried your best and will have no regrets later.

Unfortunately "some PINOY" do not realize how hard is to make it in the USA.....they have dreams and fantasies that do not match with the harsh reality of living in USA, where only the strongest survive.

Hollywood and other medias should be blamed for create a false impression built on a house of cards....

The family and close relatives support that were used while they were back at home, is nowhere to be find here or almost non existent in the great land of ours.

Boredom and depression set in for the newcomer....culture adjustments take time. Some people live here for 10-20-30 years and never really fully adjusted to it.

Be strong, keep you cool, keep a clear mind and put aside the emotions... at later time decide what is best of both of you....sometime prolonging the inevitable may just prolong the agony on both side.

[charramal 0]

In the beginning, I ignored the subtle warning signs such as extreme homesickness and blurted comments of wanting to go home because of some percieved misunderstanding. Actually she had said on three different occasions of wanting to go home. Once before the marriage and twice since marriage. Two weeks ago she went thermonuclear on me because of so called hurt feelings.

I honestly tried to be calm and not fuel the conflict by screaming back. This time she again talked about going home. She also said in her fury, if she had known her life would be as it is then she wuold not have married me. I asked her about the wedding vows and she immediately screamed she lied.

As I reflect on the past 11 months, I can see she really did not try to acclimate to the family or life in the US. It was I who compromised nearly everything in effort to make her welcome.

I do not want to give up; but, I am both emotionally and physically tired of walking on eggshells to keep her from exploding again.

Do not give up on her. Believe me I do the same as your wife the first yr i got here. I always wanted to go back whenever we fight and say i hated this marriage and that I shouldnt marry him or shouldnt rushed. and whenever we fight i always want him to feel bad and threatened for a divorce but deep inside i really love my husband and i cannot live without him so do not give up on her maybe she just need more of your attention.

[charramal 0]

How often does she get very emotional like this ??? Some people do come apart periodically - my wife does this every few months - there is no abusive behavior - I just console her or give her space and the next day she is sorry and back to normal. How does your wife feel and/or act a day or 2 after these incidents ??? As long as she is not abusive - you need to be as supportive as you can - then talk about it after she has cooled off. You might consider some kind of counciling as well. Best wishes in your journey.

Hoot N Dolly

:thumbs:

my husband is as supportive as you are.