food discussion for non-Muslim spouses of Muslims

[venusfire503 54]

I didn't know about the other thread. If anyone knows where to find it, please let me know. My "search" abilities are hit and miss...

Oh, and I thought of something else that I didn't know before - many ground beef dishes contain ground pork. Even the halupki I ate all my life - whenever I made it, I just used ground beef, but my sister told me that she, and other relatives, put pork in it. We also found out that many times in restaurants, lasagna also contains ground pork. Swedish meatballs, too (the person who told me that said it as if I was an idiot not to know that already).

Oh well.

Everyone already knew not to smoke in my house. I've been like that for years (I'm very sensitive to smoke), so I was happy to learn that my SO doesn't smoke (never even tried it). So that's not an issue for us.

But on that subject, can anyone think of anything else that might require some adjusting/compromise? For example, porn. Not that I was into it, but I quickly figured out that my SO wasn't going to ever look for any! That's actually one thing that attracted me to him - one night I noticed on cam that one of my shirt buttons had opened (not like I was hanging out or anything), and something told me that he wasn't a pervert. I turned away, buttoned it, said "sorry", and he actually thanked me for respecting him enough to rebutton it. Wow - what a difference from the others I had talked with online (they would've asked me to unbutton more!). He told me later about a few other women he had talked with, and I could tell he was confused about why they said the kind of things they said - which is also why he stopped talking with them, but kept talking with me. I can't imagine if I had tried to surprise him with a porn video when he got here, how he might have reacted! I'm sure most people here will read the cues from their men, but I just thought I'd mention it for anyone in a newer relationship. Not saying all Muslim men are the same, but I'd recommend waiting and watching before trying to spring anything like that on one!

Any other tips, hints, suggestions?

venusfire

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

porn? that was definitely never a topic for us.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Whats wrong with porn ~ Totally kidding....or not? lol

[Nothing1234 2]

Whats wrong with porn ~ Totally kidding....or not? lol

[Olive♥ 2]

You can get halal gelatin. I bought a bunch of it online. My husband wont eat pork but will eat gelatin products. Jello etc..... what is wrong with gelatin?

I was just reading another thread, which mentions the MENA man being disgusted by pork, and when posting, I thought it might be a good idea to start a new thread about food.

My husband didn't ask me to make any changes about what I bought or eat, but I decided I was more comfortable not keeping things in the house that he can't eat. For one thing, I would feel strange having them here. For another, it's just easier than having to check his food for him before he eats! He can read labels now, but it was very difficult for him when he first got here. I had to get used to reading labels at the store, to avoid buying things he can't eat. I was surprised how many things (like gum and chip dip) sometimes contain gelatin, and there are SO many things that have little bits of pork or alcohol in them.

Of course, the biggest/most obvious thing is pork. Luckily, there are so many pork substitutes. I actually tended to buy turkey hotdogs, turkey ham, soy sausage, etc anyway (for health reasons) long before I met my husband, so there was very little adjusting once he got here. (he didn't insist that I stop buying pork, I did). The only thing I can't really find a substitute for is pork chops (if I really crave them, I could always eat them outside of the house), but I can live without them. My 6 year old LOVES ribs, but she's just as happy with beef ribs. BE CAREFUL, though - I've seen some pork in things like turkey bacon, apparently to give it a more authentic flavor. A kosher symbol on the package will let you know there's no pork, but it's still a good idea to check for alcohol in certain things. Also, check with your man - some will only eat halal meat, some will eat kosher meat, some will eat anything that's not from a pig.

I also found Goya ham flavored concentrate (like powdered bouillon) and J & D's bacon salt (vegetarian, but has milk) which contain no pork - made out of plants and chemicals, I guess. I don't know if your SO would be comfortable eating any of that (my husband will eat kosher beef hot dogs, but doesn't like many of the other things, and of course won't eat any pork), but at least it will give you options if there are certain things you don't want to completely give up.

I wanted to let my husband try marshmallows, but since there's no way to know where the gelatin came from, he couldn't. But around Passover (in the Spring), you can find kosher marshmallows, which are made with fish gelatin! Manischewitz makes really good ones. Be careful - some actually have a fish taste to them (YUCK!), so only buy one package if you find another brand, to taste it. But if he likes them, go back right away and stock up - they're only available a few weeks of the year. Just a note - some of them change color after a while, but they taste the same. Other times of year, you can use marshmallow fluff - but be careful, some brands have vanillin, which contains traces of alcohol. Check things with marshmallow - my favorite ice cream, Turkey Hill chocolate marshmallow, does NOT contain gelatin - they use egg albumin instead.

Oh, and be prepared for people who seriously or half jokingly suggest that you try to sneak something forbidden (haram) into their food or drinks. I don't know why, but sometimes otherwise intelligent people think it would be ok or even a good idea. I even have a relative who keeps swearing he'll get my husband drunk one day. Sigh.

Does anyone else have any tips? I would love to know about places to find acceptable (at least for some people) substitutes for those of us who want to keep pork and alcohol out of our homes, but are still new to it. I didn't realize how much it was ingrained into our culture!

venusfire

[TracyHamza 1]

My husband is very interested in the different types of dishes i cook and is eager to try new things...i am curious about the deal with gelatin tho...i assume some types of gelatin are made from (pork?)...could anyone give me some info regarding this so i can be prepared when he gets to the US?....

[venusfire503 54]

My husband is very interested in the different types of dishes i cook and is eager to try new things...i am curious about the deal with gelatin tho...i assume some types of gelatin are made from (pork?)...could anyone give me some info regarding this so i can be prepared when he gets to the US?....

I believe most gelatin in this country is made from pork (because it's cheaper than other kinds). It IS possible to find it made of other animals, fish, or even plants, but you have to look around. Those types are usually labeled "kosher" and/or "halal". Most products with gelatin don't say where the gelatin came from, though, so it's safest to avoid it since it's likely from pig. Oh, and I think that some products with the "K" symbol might still contain gelatin made from pork - it's only certain other kosher symbols that guarantee no link to pig.

I'm not trying to claim any extensive knowledge about Islam (or any other religion), so don't take anything I say about that as fact. However, everyone decides how closely they want to follow (or not) their religion and/or how they want to interpret the 'rules' and/or whose interpretation they want to follow. For example - some feels it's ok to take medications with gelatin; some will only if an alternative is not available; some won't take them at all.

That being said, I recommend talking it over with your SO to find out how he feels about it. If he does not want to eat anything that could possibly contain/be from a pig, then only use a product containing gelatin if it is DEFINITELY NOT from a pig (I found marshmallows that listed "fish gelatin" on the label). Ask someone who knows more than I do if there are ways to know about certain products.

Also, I have heard that some people get more strict or less strict after they get here. I'm sure there are even some who change their habits more than once. Kind of follow his lead. I think it's wonderful that you're supportive of him!

I hope he appreciates your efforts. Best of luck to both of you! I hope he gets here soon.

venusfire

[TracyHamza 1]

My husband is very interested in the different types of dishes i cook and is eager to try new things...i am curious about the deal with gelatin tho...i assume some types of gelatin are made from (pork?)...could anyone give me some info regarding this so i can be prepared when he gets to the US?....

I believe most gelatin in this country is made from pork (because it's cheaper than other kinds). It IS possible to find it made of other animals, fish, or even plants, but you have to look around. Those types are usually labeled "kosher" and/or "halal". Most products with gelatin don't say where the gelatin came from, though, so it's safest to avoid it since it's likely from pig. Oh, and I think that some products with the "K" symbol might still contain gelatin made from pork - it's only certain other kosher symbols that guarantee no link to pig.

I'm not trying to claim any extensive knowledge about Islam (or any other religion), so don't take anything I say about that as fact. However, everyone decides how closely they want to follow (or not) their religion and/or how they want to interpret the 'rules' and/or whose interpretation they want to follow. For example - some feels it's ok to take medications with gelatin; some will only if an alternative is not available; some won't take them at all.

That being said, I recommend talking it over with your SO to find out how he feels about it. If he does not want to eat anything that could possibly contain/be from a pig, then only use a product containing gelatin if it is DEFINITELY NOT from a pig (I found marshmallows that listed "fish gelatin" on the label). Ask someone who knows more than I do if there are ways to know about certain products.

Also, I have heard that some people get more strict or less strict after they get here. I'm sure there are even some who change their habits more than once. Kind of follow his lead. I think it's wonderful that you're supportive of him!

I hope he appreciates your efforts. Best of luck to both of you! I hope he gets here soon.

venusfire

Thanks so much for your help...i didn't realize how many things contained pork..and while he knows i could never give up BACONNNNNN...lol... i respect his wishes that he not eat pork...wow, do i have a big job of making sure i check all the food i buy now Edited October 12, 2009 by anas_tracy_love

[Y's_habibitk 2]

My husband is very interested in the different types of dishes i cook and is eager to try new things...i am curious about the deal with gelatin tho...i assume some types of gelatin are made from (pork?)...could anyone give me some info regarding this so i can be prepared when he gets to the US?....

I believe most gelatin in this country is made from pork (because it's cheaper than other kinds). It IS possible to find it made of other animals, fish, or even plants, but you have to look around. Those types are usually labeled "kosher" and/or "halal". Most products with gelatin don't say where the gelatin came from, though, so it's safest to avoid it since it's likely from pig. Oh, and I think that some products with the "K" symbol might still contain gelatin made from pork - it's only certain other kosher symbols that guarantee no link to pig.

I'm not trying to claim any extensive knowledge about Islam (or any other religion), so don't take anything I say about that as fact. However, everyone decides how closely they want to follow (or not) their religion and/or how they want to interpret the 'rules' and/or whose interpretation they want to follow. For example - some feels it's ok to take medications with gelatin; some will only if an alternative is not available; some won't take them at all.

That being said, I recommend talking it over with your SO to find out how he feels about it. If he does not want to eat anything that could possibly contain/be from a pig, then only use a product containing gelatin if it is DEFINITELY NOT from a pig (I found marshmallows that listed "fish gelatin" on the label). Ask someone who knows more than I do if there are ways to know about certain products.

Also, I have heard that some people get more strict or less strict after they get here. I'm sure there are even some who change their habits more than once. Kind of follow his lead. I think it's wonderful that you're supportive of him!

I hope he appreciates your efforts. Best of luck to both of you! I hope he gets here soon.

venusfire

Thanks so much for your help...i didn't realize how many things contained pork..and while he knows i could never give up BACONNNNNN...lol... i respect his wishes that he not eat pork...wow, do i have a big job of making sure i check all the food i buy now

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gelatin_dessert

[TracyHamza 1]

[CasandraYounes 0]

Thanks a lot ladies for this info....I seriously need to get ready for when the hubby comes in 2 weeks....I am so behind in that.

anas_tracy_love: You are so right, bacon is so hard to give up for me too. I'll SEE about beef or turkey, but I don't know, so not the same.

[KittyPollitt 284]

Wow, thanks so much for this thread.. The food issue is something we have discussed alot.. He doesn't want to eat any meat that is not halal.. I've thought of buying halal meat in bulk and putting it in the deep freezer.. But then issues pop up in my mind like- for the first time he will be able to afford McDonald's, but won't be able to eat there.. and so many restaurants are not halal.. any time I go out to eat, it becomes clear to me how difficult the transition will be for him.. even just to order a pizza, we'll have to find a place owned by Muslims to order from (which isn't always a problem, but cuts down on variety). I've never eaten pork, personally, I have only been eating meat for about 2 years, after having been vegan since I was 11, so many of the dishes I know how to cook don't contain any meat at all.

Any advice on eating out? I guess we will be confined to Pakistani owned Indian restaurants and other halal establishments. I'd love to hear other's experiences about eating out..

Thanks,

Sarah

[Donna A 4]

Wow, thanks so much for this thread.. The food issue is something we have discussed alot.. He doesn't want to eat any meat that is not halal.. I've thought of buying halal meat in bulk and putting it in the deep freezer.. But then issues pop up in my mind like- for the first time he will be able to afford McDonald's, but won't be able to eat there.. and so many restaurants are not halal.. any time I go out to eat, it becomes clear to me how difficult the transition will be for him.. even just to order a pizza, we'll have to find a place owned by Muslims to order from (which isn't always a problem, but cuts down on variety). I've never eaten pork, personally, I have only been eating meat for about 2 years, after having been vegan since I was 11, so many of the dishes I know how to cook don't contain any meat at all.

Any advice on eating out? I guess we will be confined to Pakistani owned Indian restaurants and other halal establishments. I'd love to hear other's experiences about eating out..

Thanks,

Sarah

he can eat vegetarian or fish out at resturants. he dont have to eat meat.

[Kenza 1]

Wow, thanks so much for this thread.. The food issue is something we have discussed alot.. He doesn't want to eat any meat that is not halal.. I've thought of buying halal meat in bulk and putting it in the deep freezer.. But then issues pop up in my mind like- for the first time he will be able to afford McDonald's, but won't be able to eat there.. and so many restaurants are not halal.. any time I go out to eat, it becomes clear to me how difficult the transition will be for him.. even just to order a pizza, we'll have to find a place owned by Muslims to order from (which isn't always a problem, but cuts down on variety). I've never eaten pork, personally, I have only been eating meat for about 2 years, after having been vegan since I was 11, so many of the dishes I know how to cook don't contain any meat at all.

Any advice on eating out? I guess we will be confined to Pakistani owned Indian restaurants and other halal establishments. I'd love to hear other's experiences about eating out..

Thanks,

Sarah

he can eat vegetarian or fish out at resturants. he dont have to eat meat.

I agree, we are not limited to any restaurants as you can always order vegetarian or fish. I think it is also healthier to eat meat just every once in a while. Every other week I go to the halal butcher and order meat that will last. America is blessed with a variety of cuisine, there is always something!

[Maroc2Texas 0]

My husband is very interested in the different types of dishes i cook and is eager to try new things...i am curious about the deal with gelatin tho...i assume some types of gelatin are made from (pork?)...could anyone give me some info regarding this so i can be prepared when he gets to the US?....

I believe most gelatin in this country is made from pork (because it's cheaper than other kinds). It IS possible to find it made of other animals, fish, or even plants, but you have to look around. Those types are usually labeled "kosher" and/or "halal". Most products with gelatin don't say where the gelatin came from, though, so it's safest to avoid it since it's likely from pig. Oh, and I think that some products with the "K" symbol might still contain gelatin made from pork - it's only certain other kosher symbols that guarantee no link to pig.

I'm not trying to claim any extensive knowledge about Islam (or any other religion), so don't take anything I say about that as fact. However, everyone decides how closely they want to follow (or not) their religion and/or how they want to interpret the 'rules' and/or whose interpretation they want to follow. For example - some feels it's ok to take medications with gelatin; some will only if an alternative is not available; some won't take them at all.

That being said, I recommend talking it over with your SO to find out how he feels about it. If he does not want to eat anything that could possibly contain/be from a pig, then only use a product containing gelatin if it is DEFINITELY NOT from a pig (I found marshmallows that listed "fish gelatin" on the label). Ask someone who knows more than I do if there are ways to know about certain products.

Also, I have heard that some people get more strict or less strict after they get here. I'm sure there are even some who change their habits more than once. Kind of follow his lead. I think it's wonderful that you're supportive of him!

I hope he appreciates your efforts. Best of luck to both of you! I hope he gets here soon.

venusfire

Thanks so much for your help...i didn't realize how many things contained pork..and while he knows i could never give up BACONNNNNN...lol... i respect his wishes that he not eat pork...wow, do i have a big job of making sure i check all the food i buy now

I bought some beef bacon(Gwaltney was the brand name) when I lived in California and Hubby loved it! I had to cook half the package because he liked it so much! I liked it much better than turkey bacon(ewwww).