Would you let your Spouse party till the early morning on their own????

[Veiled Princess 1]

I'm with Shon on this... I am my man's wife, mother, sister, friend, etc etc etc. He is my husband, father, brother, friend, etc etc etc.

Also, very grateful my husband is also muslim and does not "party"

[*Robert* 2]

Roi,

if you wanna party and it suits you do that. there are others that are past that #######.

I don't drink, and neither does my wife. I don't party either. In addition, I am opposed to gambling, as is my wife. That has never been the issue with me.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I don't drink, and neither does my wife. I don't party either. In addition, I am opposed to gambling, as is my wife. That has never been the issue with me.

[PlatyPius 5]

Neither Sian nor I "party". We drink occasionally - a bottle of wine in the evening while watching a movie, for example. Sian doesn't like dancing, which I am eternally grateful for. If she wanted to go out with her friends, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Yes, I might worry about things like car wrecks and such, but it isn't my place to tell her what she can and can't do. Luckily, we like spending time together or by ourselves. If I'm not with Sian (during the times when she's here), I'm off by myself somewhere, or I'm at work. I don't hang out with the guys, go fishing, or any of that stuff. If I go wandering through the woods, Sian is with me. I go to home improvement stores by myself though. Sian doesn't like just looking at stuff, while I do.

I've never been able to comprehend the "party" lifestyle. Of course, I've never been that way, so I wouldn't really "get it", would I? Too each their own and all that.

[tmma 467]

Roi Aggie,

What is your deal with me? You always have to debate me on everything. I am only stating my opinion like everyone else. I am not trying to change anyone opinion. I did not ask what you though of my opinion.

I am not hiding behind a handle and I have my pictures up.

If you have a personal problem with me let me know and we can correct it. I live in Miami, Florida but I can travel!

Regards,

Peter Miami

Hey Peter Miami,

Look at my post. It says I live on Kauai. My name is ROBERT, which everyone else seems to know except YOU, and calls me by, so I don't "hide behind a handle". YOU are the one that has a problem with me, mister "I make more than 6 figures and have a Masters degree". You need to check it at the door.

You live in Miami? D'uh!!! Never would have guessed it.

When have I "always" debated you on "everything"? You need to get your facts straight.

Robert Kauai

I'll be in Melbourne next week... come see me! You do know where that is don't you? Or do I need to draw you a map? Maybe you don't understand me?

Sheesh!!!

Yes I do know where Melbourne, Florida is at. Give me an address and I will be there. Tell me a time and place (address) and I will pay you a visit. Or if you want my address I will give it to you.

Peter Miami

You guys are kidding, right?

Anyway, my 2c on the "partying" "trust" stuff.

We like to have fun/party/go out/stay in together

However; we both have our own and mutual friends-and I would have no problem if once in a while ( not every weekend, of course) he wanted a night out with the lads. I completely trust him, we both know how lucky we are to have each other; and would never do anything to make the other feel insecure/worried/hurt/whatever.. and I know he would feel the same about me going out.

That being said-I think we are both at a point where we have a better time out ( or in ) together ."Partying" in the way we did when we were younger has lost it's appeal, if you know what I mean. I couldn't think of a better person than my fiance to party with/go out with/whatever....But marraige does not mean to me that you are joined at the hip-or it is his job " to allow me" or my job to " give him permission" to do things. I would hope we would just decide for ourselves based on mutual respect for the other and the relationship....Not wait for the "OK" or " permission"

If that makes any sense.

[babybunny 2]

Roi,

if you wanna party and it suits you do that. there are others that are past that #######.

I don't drink, and neither does my wife. I don't party either. In addition, I am opposed to gambling, as is my wife. That has never been the issue with me.

so why are you trying to save the Dolphins with your cause?

I know what it is .. you have this injustice meter it was sounding off right?

[PlatyPius 5]

I DO have an "Injustice-o-meter"....

I would never consider going out to a nightclub without Sian. However, if she made a rule against it, I would have SERIOUS issues with it. Anyone who makes rules against such things is 1) Insecure 2) Possessive 3) Controlling 4) Untrusting or 5) all of the above. I don't own Sian, nor is she my pet or my child. Why then would I set down rules for her? She is a complete person without me. She doesn't need "correcting" or to be given guidelines and advice. Nor do I. I have one mother; I defintely don't want another one.

[babybunny 2]

I DO have an "Injustice-o-meter"....

I would never consider going out to a nightclub without Sian. However, if she made a rule against it, I would have SERIOUS issues with it. Anyone who makes rules against such things is 1) Insecure 2) Possessive 3) Controlling 4) Untrusting or 5) all of the above. I don't own Sian, nor is she my pet or my child. Why then would I set down rules for her? She is a complete person without me. She doesn't need "correcting" or to be given guidelines and advice. Nor do I. I have one mother; I defintely don't want another one.

The Rules/ Restrictions were in place BEFORE we married. Having these RULES are not in place for control. My husband has rules over me, just like I have rules over him. Thats just how it is. I respect what he sayes and he respects what I say. We must follow all the rules to keep the home peaceful and respected.

I'm with Shon on this... I am my man's wife, mother, sister, friend, etc etc etc. He is my husband, father, brother, friend, etc etc etc.

Also, very grateful my husband is also muslim and does not "party"

I am also grateful. reading this thread makes me even more greatful than before!

[*Robert* 2]

I DO have an "Injustice-o-meter"....

I would never consider going out to a nightclub without Sian. However, if she made a rule against it, I would have SERIOUS issues with it. Anyone who makes rules against such things is 1) Insecure 2) Possessive 3) Controlling 4) Untrusting or 5) all of the above. I don't own Sian, nor is she my pet or my child. Why then would I set down rules for her? She is a complete person without me. She doesn't need "correcting" or to be given guidelines and advice. Nor do I. I have one mother; I defintely don't want another one.

Thank You!!! I couldn't have said it better myself!

Just to clarify further... before I met my very-soon-to-be-wife, I drank and smoked. She didn't like either, and I knew it. She never told me I "had" to quit, or that if I didn't quit, she would leave me. She merely expressed her displeasure. That was enough for me to realize she was more important to me than drinking or smoking. If she had laid down demands, things would be the same way they are today. Likewise, I do not tell her what she can or can not do. I am not her father, and she is not my mother. We do take care of each other however, as husband and wife should. Our personal and individual lives did not come to a screeching halt just because we are together. We like to think we have the rest of our life's together... we don't have to dominate each other's life every moment of every day.

[PlatyPius 5]

Wasn't saying that your way was wrong, Shon, just saying that it would never work for Sian and I. Although, we do have rules....

Rule #1) There are no rules.

Rule #2) See Rule #1

It is just accepted that there will be no cheating, lying, etc. I trust Sian completely, and she trusts me. We don't require more than that.

[evilcanuck 0]

My husband quite often stays out all night partying......i drop him off and pick him up when he is done

We dated long distance for 2 years before the immigration process, we realized way back in the beginning that the relationship had to be built on trust or it had no basis. We lived in 2 different countries for pete sakes! He had a life to live as an individual as did I before we married and there is no reason to change that . We do almost everything together however there is 1 activity he enjoys that really bores me.....he likes to go to his friends house (i dont much care for the friend either, he is an ok person just has some strange warped opinions and points of view that I cant deal with ) ok so ya he goes to this guys house and they stay up all night playing guitar, listening to (the same) songs and watching rock DVD's. I went with him a few times but it got so damn boring for me that i offered just to drive him there and go get him when he was done hanging out which quite often is way past sunrise. They are drinking and partying, but its just them and perhaps one pther guy, I dont drink, I dont party and after I am done an 8 hour shift bartending my feet want to go home...so its a great arrangement for us. Why should he give up something he enjoys just because I dont like to do it?

It all comes down to trust and a solid honest mature relationship.

[PlatyPius 5]

I'm with Shon on this... I am my man's wife, mother, sister, friend, etc etc etc. He is my husband, father, brother, friend, etc etc etc.

Also, very grateful my husband is also muslim and does not "party"

*Tries VERY hard to not make the obvious comments about Oedipus/Electra complexes, incest, etc.*

*Fails*

[Fandango 1,440]

I'm with Shon on this... I am my man's wife, mother, sister, friend, etc etc etc. He is my husband, father, brother, friend, etc etc etc.

Also, very grateful my husband is also muslim and does not "party"

May I ask why?

I get the 'friend' bit...but mother/father brother/sister?

[djcess 0]

Besides, the closer it gets to midnight, the closer I get to falling asleep.

Same here Around 1am i can barely keep my eyes open!

same here.. but i'm only 21.. now that's a problem

[babybunny 2]

Wasn't saying that your way was wrong, Shon, just saying that it would never work for Sian and I. Although, we do have rules....

Rule #1) There are no rules.

Rule #2) See Rule #1

It is just accepted that there will be no cheating, lying, etc. I trust Sian completely, and she trusts me. We don't require more than that.

alot of the rules are cultural. example my husband is not comfortable with PDA.

we do not touch in public. I have to just respect his comfort level.

I DO have an "Injustice-o-meter"....

I would never consider going out to a nightclub without Sian. However, if she made a rule against it, I would have SERIOUS issues with it. Anyone who makes rules against such things is 1) Insecure 2) Possessive 3) Controlling 4) Untrusting or 5) all of the above. I don't own Sian, nor is she my pet or my child. Why then would I set down rules for her? She is a complete person without me. She doesn't need "correcting" or to be given guidelines and advice. Nor do I. I have one mother; I defintely don't want another one.

Thank You!!! I couldn't have said it better myself!

Just to clarify further... before I met my very-soon-to-be-wife, I drank and smoked. She didn't like either, and I knew it. She never told me I "had" to quit, or that if I didn't quit, she would leave me. She merely expressed her displeasure. That was enough for me to realize she was more important to me than drinking or smoking. If she had laid down demands, things would be the same way they are today. Likewise, I do not tell her what she can or can not do. I am not her father, and she is not my mother. We do take care of each other however, as husband and wife should. Our personal and individual lives did not come to a screeching halt just because we are together. We like to think we have the rest of our life's together... we don't have to dominate each other's life every moment of every day.

I knew my husbands expectations of what he wanted in a wife. Just like he knew my expectations. they are laid out in our marriage contract. you guys seem really young and you seem this partying stuff is the battle you fight for. in my stage of life -been there done that. when you get a little older maybe your ideas will change you will understand things better. you will learn to pick battles that really are worth fighting for.