credit card debts

[angela920 0]

You seem to have more money sense than your husband. I would insist that there be changes made like you and the others suggested (change school, apartment, get rid of most credit cards). It seems even before the two of you got married, he was already managing his finances very badly (depending on credit cards to pay for travel expenses to visit you = living beyond his means). The most you can really do is insist. But, what if he doesn't take you seriously and make those changes? Would he be willing to see a credit counselor? What are your options if he doesn't even want to see a credit counselor?

Expecting you to find a higher-paying job (if you could even find one at this point) to pay for his debts was not very nice of him. I have a friend who married a USC. For seven years, she had to support her husband because her husband's pay (and part of her pay) went entirely to paying off debts he had before they were married.

I am very interested in hearing other people's suggestions about this because I think this problem is not uncommon at all.

He is trying to start a business now and i hope it goes well. Its called a BPO and we are using word of mouth to promote it and have a client. My worry is this is a trial and error thing it could work and it could not work, although im trying to be optimistic. He told me his daughter going to a public school is not an option and even told me if he could get a loan just to keep her there. -sigh- If i bring this up to him right now, we'll just argue.

I love him and i just want to help him out but i don't know how to deal with him. I am not telling him that it will be forever public school for her but for this time only since we cant move because we already signed the lease and will expire on 2010.

All of my salary goes to our bill and i dont disagree with that. His' just go to her school and rent and expects me to find a better paying job... It hurts too much.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Having too much debt is not a good thing. Ignoring it can be even worse. Many companies look at your credit score before hiring you. That may explain why you had such a hard time to find work. If the credit card companies take him to court they can be awarded a wage garnishment. This means that it will come out of his pay before he sees it. They will take it out at whatever amount the court decides. The allow only a very small amount for basic expenses. If this happens to you two there won't be money for all the things you take for granted. No private school, no vacations no eating out. You need to look at consoling services. Here is a good resource Consumer Credit Consulers Good luck

[SuperDuper! 230]

Don't look now, but Credit Card Rates are set to rise significantly!

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/PersonalFin...tory?id=8345497

Edited August 30, 2009 by itzallgood

[betsay 0]

You seem to have more money sense than your husband. I would insist that there be changes made like you and the others suggested (change school, apartment, get rid of most credit cards). It seems even before the two of you got married, he was already managing his finances very badly (depending on credit cards to pay for travel expenses to visit you = living beyond his means). The most you can really do is insist. But, what if he doesn't take you seriously and make those changes? Would he be willing to see a credit counselor? What are your options if he doesn't even want to see a credit counselor?

Expecting you to find a higher-paying job (if you could even find one at this point) to pay for his debts was not very nice of him. I have a friend who married a USC. For seven years, she had to support her husband because her husband's pay (and part of her pay) went entirely to paying off debts he had before they were married.

I am very interested in hearing other people's suggestions about this because I think this problem is not uncommon at all.

He is trying to start a business now and i hope it goes well. Its called a BPO and we are using word of mouth to promote it and have a client. My worry is this is a trial and error thing it could work and it could not work, although im trying to be optimistic. He told me his daughter going to a public school is not an option and even told me if he could get a loan just to keep her there. -sigh- If i bring this up to him right now, we'll just argue.

I love him and i just want to help him out but i don't know how to deal with him. I am not telling him that it will be forever public school for her but for this time only since we cant move because we already signed the lease and will expire on 2010.

All of my salary goes to our bill and i dont disagree with that. His' just go to her school and rent and expects me to find a better paying job... It hurts too much.

I'm so sorry about your situation - did you know that he was deep credit card debt before you even married him? I think the problem lies primarily with your husband. He had and is still living beyond his means and is not willing to make adjustments to be able to pay his debt. That is totally irresponsible, inconsiderate and uncaring. How dare he tell you to find a better paying job to pay for his debts!! I'm sorry for saying this but it's the truth, and unless your husband changes his attitude, your debts will even get bigger. I suggest you pray hard for God to change and soften your husband's heart and change his attitude so that he will see the problem, listen to reason (listen to you) and make concrete plans in getting you out of debt.

[angela920 0]

You seem to have more money sense than your husband. I would insist that there be changes made like you and the others suggested (change school, apartment, get rid of most credit cards). It seems even before the two of you got married, he was already managing his finances very badly (depending on credit cards to pay for travel expenses to visit you = living beyond his means). The most you can really do is insist. But, what if he doesn't take you seriously and make those changes? Would he be willing to see a credit counselor? What are your options if he doesn't even want to see a credit counselor?

Expecting you to find a higher-paying job (if you could even find one at this point) to pay for his debts was not very nice of him. I have a friend who married a USC. For seven years, she had to support her husband because her husband's pay (and part of her pay) went entirely to paying off debts he had before they were married.

I am very interested in hearing other people's suggestions about this because I think this problem is not uncommon at all.

He is trying to start a business now and i hope it goes well. Its called a BPO and we are using word of mouth to promote it and have a client. My worry is this is a trial and error thing it could work and it could not work, although im trying to be optimistic. He told me his daughter going to a public school is not an option and even told me if he could get a loan just to keep her there. -sigh- If i bring this up to him right now, we'll just argue.

I love him and i just want to help him out but i don't know how to deal with him. I am not telling him that it will be forever public school for her but for this time only since we cant move because we already signed the lease and will expire on 2010.

All of my salary goes to our bill and i dont disagree with that. His' just go to her school and rent and expects me to find a better paying job... It hurts too much.

I'm so sorry about your situation - did you know that he was deep credit card debt before you even married him? I think the problem lies primarily with your husband. He had and is still living beyond his means and is not willing to make adjustments to be able to pay his debt. That is totally irresponsible, inconsiderate and uncaring. How dare he tell you to find a better paying job to pay for his debts!! I'm sorry for saying this but it's the truth, and unless your husband changes his attitude, your debts will even get bigger. I suggest you pray hard for God to change and soften your husband's heart and change his attitude so that he will see the problem, listen to reason (listen to you) and make concrete plans in getting you out of debt.

I kinda know about it and thought that everybody has debts. I just didn't know that it will turn out like this. This is so bad. He told me mainly because of his travel to the Philippines to visit me. He visited me 5 times before I got here in the USA and we went back this year for his major dental problem but it didn't get fixed.

Is it my fault that he visited me many times thats why he owes too much? I didn't force him to.. although i liked it and enjoyed the company but i didnt think that in the future right now that I and him would be in deep debt.

[Dakine 26]

Do like a friend did. Get as many cards as you can, max them out and go bankrupt!

Lots do so but it sucks as it affects straight shooters big time.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Do like a friend did. Get as many cards as you can, max them out and go bankrupt!

Lots do so but it sucks as it affects straight shooters big time.

Is this really a responsible thing to be promoting here??

[DEDixon 39]

There seem to be several decisions happening that have resulted in living beyond your means. Resolving the problem will mean making some hard decisions that may be uncomfortable for the short run but will definitely help in the long run. Your suggestions of sending the daughter to public school along with finding a cheaper place to live are definitely good ones. With credit card debt that high you will be accumulating significant interest payments that may eventually far exceed the amount of the original debt. The longer you take to address ithis problem and pay off the debt, the more the amount will escalate.

You might find it useful to sit down together with a credit counselor and discuss your financial situation and see about working out a repayment plan. Burying your head in the sand doesn't make it go away - it just makes it become a bigger and bigger problem until it becomes unavoidable on its terms, not yours. You definitely need to be pro-active about this. Good luck.

Thank you for your response, I just wish my husband could understand the circumstances of what he is doing right now. I told him that many times but he said that public school here is bad. My opinion is it can't be that bad since we live in a nice neighborhood. I also understand that his daughter is also his responsibility but i am just really worried about the outcomes later.

The companies could really find out if hes capable or not, coz if he is not they he could declare bankruptcy and destroy his credit score for 7 years, but apparently sending his daughter to a private school means not paying the credit cards.

He is even telling me to find a better paying job, which i think is sick. I am trying so hard to find a good job but in this economy i could only be optimistic. I never stopped applying for jobs. Also, I can only apply to a place accessible to bus because we only have one car.

I just really don't know what to do right now. He said he'd ask his ex-wife or brother to at least help with the tuition but hes hasnt done it yet.

Where can i find a credit counsellor? I am so tired and I just want to give up and go somewhere.

It is actually 10 years to the day that it will be on his credit report.

About the 35 dollars he pays monthly for child support. That is a very very low amount to pay when he only has his daughter once a week. What he might not be telling you is that if he doesn't pay the private school tuition, he just might be hit on by the court to pay higher child support. He just might have a deal with his ex-wife that you don't know about, because 35 dollars in child support for someone that spends just 1 day a week with his daughter is unheard of.

I really feel sorry for you, because I know you couldn't have come to the US knowing that your life was going to be so challenging right from the start. Most people arrive at their POE with lots of hope and thoughts of helping family back home so it is sad when USC husband wants wife to pay US debts instead. Shattered dreams! When reality is much different than what one was thinking - it is a huge disappointment.

He brings you to the US to tell you to get a better job to pay his debts? WOW, that takes a lot of nerve. He wants you to pay HIS debts so HIS daughter can continue in private school <-- that is total and complete BS! Or, maybe he thinks it is only fair for you to pay on HIS trips to visit you in the RP. <-- that's BS too.

Maybe your husband will change his ways in the years to come. I sincerely hope he does. If he doesn't, your life here won't be any different than most of who lives in the RP (all of their lives....full of worry, wondering how to pay the electric bill, the water, the groceries ).

[DEDixon 39]

Do like a friend did. Get as many cards as you can, max them out and go bankrupt!

Lots do so but it sucks as it affects straight shooters big time.

Is this really a responsible thing to be promoting here??

No worries, he can't get anymore CCs because he is already in some kind of "care" program.

He'd be lucky to get a car loan even if he put 25% down nowadays and likely for some years to comes. 35,000 with CC interest rates is next to impossible to pay actually. It requires a huge lifestyle change that not many are willing to make.

But, because he is in some kind of "care" program, he might not be required to pay interest and late fees. The bank just wants their money to save a complete lose. At this point, his credit report is probably no better than someone who has filed for bankruptcy.

If he is like some that I've read about, he'll get his wife some CCs and start charging on those if she'll let him. In this case, it appears she wouldn't be that stupid, but in other cases, they are that stupid.

[betsay 0]

You seem to have more money sense than your husband. I would insist that there be changes made like you and the others suggested (change school, apartment, get rid of most credit cards). It seems even before the two of you got married, he was already managing his finances very badly (depending on credit cards to pay for travel expenses to visit you = living beyond his means). The most you can really do is insist. But, what if he doesn't take you seriously and make those changes? Would he be willing to see a credit counselor? What are your options if he doesn't even want to see a credit counselor?

Expecting you to find a higher-paying job (if you could even find one at this point) to pay for his debts was not very nice of him. I have a friend who married a USC. For seven years, she had to support her husband because her husband's pay (and part of her pay) went entirely to paying off debts he had before they were married.

I am very interested in hearing other people's suggestions about this because I think this problem is not uncommon at all.

He is trying to start a business now and i hope it goes well. Its called a BPO and we are using word of mouth to promote it and have a client. My worry is this is a trial and error thing it could work and it could not work, although im trying to be optimistic. He told me his daughter going to a public school is not an option and even told me if he could get a loan just to keep her there. -sigh- If i bring this up to him right now, we'll just argue.

I love him and i just want to help him out but i don't know how to deal with him. I am not telling him that it will be forever public school for her but for this time only since we cant move because we already signed the lease and will expire on 2010.

All of my salary goes to our bill and i dont disagree with that. His' just go to her school and rent and expects me to find a better paying job... It hurts too much.

I'm so sorry about your situation - did you know that he was deep credit card debt before you even married him? I think the problem lies primarily with your husband. He had and is still living beyond his means and is not willing to make adjustments to be able to pay his debt. That is totally irresponsible, inconsiderate and uncaring. How dare he tell you to find a better paying job to pay for his debts!! I'm sorry for saying this but it's the truth, and unless your husband changes his attitude, your debts will even get bigger. I suggest you pray hard for God to change and soften your husband's heart and change his attitude so that he will see the problem, listen to reason (listen to you) and make concrete plans in getting you out of debt.

I kinda know about it and thought that everybody has debts. I just didn't know that it will turn out like this. This is so bad. He told me mainly because of his travel to the Philippines to visit me. He visited me 5 times before I got here in the USA and we went back this year for his major dental problem but it didn't get fixed.

Is it my fault that he visited me many times thats why he owes too much? I didn't force him to.. although i liked it and enjoyed the company but i didnt think that in the future right now that I and him would be in deep debt.

Nope, it's your fault at all, BUT you still have to "pay" for those visits. You're married to him, and his debts are yours now. I asked my husband's opinion/advice to get an American man's point of view:), and some of his suggestions are:

Stop harping on the kid, because you'll never get anywhere on that and it will only gonna make things worse. Your husband loves the kid and wants to provide/give her the best and it's something that you will have to embrace. Any sacrifices should first come from things that you both do or enjoy and not at the expense of the child. Maybe if you stop harping on transferring the kid to public school, your husband will be more cooperative. BTW, $1,000.00 a month in tuition is not that bad for a private school accdg. to my hubby.

Also, start looking to things that BOTH of you can sacrifice, such as cable TV, going out to dinner/eating out/movies, etc. cut back on extras (starbucks, clothing, shoes, etc.).

Yes, almost everybody has debts, some as high as $100,000.00 in credit card debts, so yours is not as bad as others, so that might make you feel better BUT, if you do only the minimum payments everytime, you will never get out of debt.

Hopefully, the business that your hubby is starting will succeed, but expect that in starting a business, you will incur more debts. Your best course of action is to minimize as much unnecessary spending(see above) and work to make sure the business succeeds. You need to support your husband's endeavor regardless of what happens. Never play the blame game if it turns out badly.

Don't forget to get on your knees and pray for your marriage and your husband. With God, nothing is impossible.

[Passing.star 0]

Dear M / M, One of you, or maybe both of you, would benefit from reading 'Debt Cures' by Kevin Trudeau, you can find it at Amazon.com or on eBay.com, and there you can find many answers. For revolving credit, it is said in California that the statute of limitations on an alleged debt is 4 years; Somehow, once it goes to a collection agency, they will often settle for less than the actual debt. If you are worried about a bad credit rating, then read ( and understand ) the book. Many of us have different priorities for our money. Live off of 2/3 of your net pay, bank the rest, and you could be many times more happy in years to come. Some think you'll only be 1/3 more happy, but happiness is compounding, as is interest. Live off of 1/3 more than you actually make, and you can see that the downward spiral will take off, bringing you down with it, and you'll be deeper and deeper in debt, thus compounding UN-happiness. Good Luck !

[reeses16 8]

Don't feel guilty about his visits to you in the Philippines. If he couldn't afford it, then he simply should not have come and instead focused on preparing his finances for you to come to the US.

You are definitely in a tough situation. If I was in your position, I would tell him that I will not be looking for a higher paying job as we continue to live beyond our means. I agree with you that his daughter belongs in public school given the entire financial picture. Many private schools offer financial offer financial assistance based on your income; it may be worth looking for a a discount if he refuses to pull her from private school. But then again, those programs are income based, sounds like he earn a decent salary but doesn't spend it wisely. I'm troubled that his answer to paying for school is to take out a loan. In all likelihood, he would be denied the loan.

I you have not done so already, so not add your name to any of his credit accounts. If you do it will affect your credit score. IF you are already on, perhaps you can get yourself off...I think it would require a form and his approval/signature. But at least one of you would have a chance at decent credit.

This situation really can't get better without his co-operation. He needs to understand why its important to fix this and be committed to making changes. Until then the situation is completely unfair to you. I think you should do as much as you can to protect you own credit, and sanity. You should have some money saved of your own to use in case of emergencies.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Dear M / M, One of you, or maybe both of you, would benefit from reading 'Debt Cures' by Kevin Trudeau, you can find it at Amazon.com or on eBay.com, and there you can find many answers. For revolving credit, it is said in California that the statute of limitations on an alleged debt is 4 years; Somehow, once it goes to a collection agency, they will often settle for less than the actual debt. If you are worried about a bad credit rating, then read ( and understand ) the book. Many of us have different priorities for our money. Live off of 2/3 of your net pay, bank the rest, and you could be many times more happy in years to come. Some think you'll only be 1/3 more happy, but happiness is compounding, as is interest. Live off of 1/3 more than you actually make, and you can see that the downward spiral will take off, bringing you down with it, and you'll be deeper and deeper in debt, thus compounding UN-happiness. Good Luck !

Living BENEATH one's means; not racking up more debt.

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

Also listening to Dave Ramsey on some of your local Radio Stations may help ...with some MAJOR lifestyle changes...

Try any searching that name on any search engine ......

It is common sense the OLD FASHION way....

[marien 0]

Buti nlanag dept free kami ng hubby ko, hirap pala!