credit card debts

[angela920 0]

Hello to all visajourney goers here! I hope everything is going well.

I think i have a dilemma right now. I will try to make this as short as possible.

My husband owes at least $35,000 from his credit card. He has four credit cards. The problem is we aren't able to pay them all. They are all in past dues and some of them are in their care program (less interest and no late payment charge), but still we need to maintain and pay the minimum for us to be qualified still to their care program.

Reasons for the debts:

visited me many times in the Philippines and relied too much on the credit cards

Had a major dental surgery in the Philippines

Our rent increases yearly (although i know we can find a cheaper place but he thought we'd be alright so we just renew our lease and will expire on July 2010)

his daughter goes to private school, tuition also increases

I couldn't find a job right away when i got here because I had to wait for my Greencard

I just recently got a job and it doesn't pay well but still it helps us. But my pay just goes directly to phone bills, electricity,sewer, water and a little bit for the rent. His salary goes to rent and her schooling. He is divorced and only required to pay $35 monthly for child support because they (ex-wife) almost had the same income when they divorced. No spousal support. They have joint custody.

We live in a good neighborhood here in Fremont, Ca. We have been receiving calls from the credit card companies about our debt. We argued many times about it already and I am just tired. I told him if we can send her daughter to a public school for a year until we can breathe a little bit and find a cheaper place to live (til our lease expires in 2010) then she can go back to private school. We pay $1000 monthly for her school. The ex-wife pays the summer class and she lives there. She just had her braces. We only get to see her once a week... every Saturday and stays overnight.. and rarely in the weekdays because her mom always picks her up at the school.

But he doesn't like it. He just ignores the call and told me we'll pay them when we can.

So my questions is...

Can he be sued? I asked because he is capable to pay those debts but chose not to.

Can the court order him to pay the credit card company and take money directly from his paycheck?

Thank you. I appreciate all the answers.

[Otto 83]

Can he be sued? I asked because he is capable to pay those debts but chose not to.

Can the court order him to pay the credit card company and take money directly from his paycheck?

Absolutely he can be sued. If sued, likely outcome would be you'd lose and a court-ordered garnishment could result. Ignoring the problem won't make it go away - with that kind of debt - you guys need to make some serious life-changes and devote a year (or more) to paying down the debt.

[DEDixon 39]

Please take your birth control pill every day... don't forget it!!!

[angela920 0]

Please take your birth control pill every day... don't forget it!!!

are you trying to be rude? I am here to seek suggestion because we messed up. I admit that. I am trying to figure out how to make our lives easier by asking suggestions.

Please don't be rude as I am really emotionally drained right now.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Please take your birth control pill every day... don't forget it!!!

Comments like this are totally inappropriate and while tolerated in Off Topic are not allowed in the Upper Forums. If you have nothing useful to contribute to the conversation, then do not say anything at all. Further comments of this nature will result in administrative action.

Edited August 30, 2009 by Kathryn41

[DEDixon 39]

Please take your birth control pill every day... don't forget it!!!

Comments like this are totally inappropriate and while tolerated in Off Topic are not allowed in the Upper Forums. If you have nothing useful to contribute to the conversation, then do not say anything at all. Further comments of this nature will result in administrative action.

I wasn't trying to be rude at all. I sincerely didn't want anything else to come between them, anything to make their life even more difficult.

[angela920 0]

Hello to all visajourney goers here! I hope everything is going well.

I think i have a dilemma right now. I will try to make this as short as possible.

My husband owes at least $35,000 from his credit card. He has four credit cards. The problem is we aren't able to pay them all. They are all in past dues and some of them are in their care program (less interest and no late payment charge), but still we need to maintain and pay the minimum for us to be qualified still to their care program.

Reasons for the debts:

visited me many times in the Philippines and relied too much on the credit cards

Had a major dental surgery in the Philippines

Our rent increases yearly (although i know we can find a cheaper place but he thought we'd be alright so we just renew our lease and will expire on July 2010)

his daughter goes to private school, tuition also increases

I couldn't find a job right away when i got here because I had to wait for my Greencard

I just recently got a job and it doesn't pay well but still it helps us. But my pay just goes directly to phone bills, electricity,sewer, water and a little bit for the rent. His salary goes to rent and her schooling. He is divorced and only required to pay $35 monthly for child support because they (ex-wife) almost had the same income when they divorced. No spousal support. They have joint custody.

We live in a good neighborhood here in Fremont, Ca. We have been receiving calls from the credit card companies about our debt. We argued many times about it already and I am just tired. I told him if we can send her daughter to a public school for a year until we can breathe a little bit and find a cheaper place to live (til our lease expires in 2010) then she can go back to private school. We pay $1000 monthly for her school. The ex-wife pays the summer class and she lives there. She just had her braces. We only get to see her once a week... every Saturday and stays overnight.. and rarely in the weekdays because her mom always picks her up at the school.

But he doesn't like it. He just ignores the call and told me we'll pay them when we can.

So my questions is...

Can he be sued? I asked because he is capable to pay those debts but chose not to.

Can the court order him to pay the credit card company and take money directly from his paycheck?

Thank you. I appreciate all the answers.

Also I wanna add if this is considered as cheating? (not to me) but to the credit card companies. He signed a contract that he must pay the debts monthly right? I am just worried because what if these companies find out that he could pay since he is sending his daughter to a private school and just ignore them (credit card companies). I think he can be sued and be forced to pay the debts first, because it is his responsibility.

I am just so stressed right now. I wanna help him but he doesn't want to help himself.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

There seem to be several decisions happening that have resulted in living beyond your means. Resolving the problem will mean making some hard decisions that may be uncomfortable for the short run but will definitely help in the long run. Your suggestions of sending the daughter to public school along with finding a cheaper place to live are definitely good ones. With credit card debt that high you will be accumulating significant interest payments that may eventually far exceed the amount of the original debt. The longer you take to address ithis problem and pay off the debt, the more the amount will escalate.

You might find it useful to sit down together with a credit counselor and discuss your financial situation and see about working out a repayment plan. Burying your head in the sand doesn't make it go away - it just makes it become a bigger and bigger problem until it becomes unavoidable on its terms, not yours. The stress of trying to live with this kind of debt can also have unwelcome repercussions. You definitely need to be pro-active about this. Good luck.

Edited August 30, 2009 by Kathryn41

[j_e_w_e_l_l_y_n 0]

I think he cannot be sued for not being able to pay credit card bills. What will happen is that they will still try to contact you, if not, then they will send you letters and may charge you late/overlimit fees. If you still don't pay then interest/fees will increase every month and your credit score will be affected.

My husband and I had the same situation before and that happened to us. As much as possible, pay at least the minimum so you won't be charged late fee. That's the wisest thing to do.

Oops! Another thing, throw/shred your credit cards so you won't use them anymore. That's what we did and we're doing better, now.

[angela920 0]

There seem to be several decisions happening that have resulted in living beyond your means. Resolving the problem will mean making some hard decisions that may be uncomfortable for the short run but will definitely help in the long run. Your suggestions of sending the daughter to public school along with finding a cheaper place to live are definitely good ones. With credit card debt that high you will be accumulating significant interest payments that may eventually far exceed the amount of the original debt. The longer you take to address ithis problem and pay off the debt, the more the amount will escalate.

You might find it useful to sit down together with a credit counselor and discuss your financial situation and see about working out a repayment plan. Burying your head in the sand doesn't make it go away - it just makes it become a bigger and bigger problem until it becomes unavoidable on its terms, not yours. You definitely need to be pro-active about this. Good luck.

Thank you for your response, I just wish my husband could understand the circumstances of what he is doing right now. I told him that many times but he said that public school here is bad. My opinion is it can't be that bad since we live in a nice neighborhood. I also understand that his daughter is also his responsibility but i am just really worried about the outcomes later.

The companies could really find out if hes capable or not, coz if he is not they he could declare bankruptcy and destroy his credit score for 7 years, but apparently sending his daughter to a private school means not paying the credit cards.

He is even telling me to find a better paying job, which i think is sick. I am trying so hard to find a good job but in this economy i could only be optimistic. I never stopped applying for jobs. Also, I can only apply to a place accessible to bus because we only have one car.

I just really don't know what to do right now. He said he'd ask his ex-wife or brother to at least help with the tuition but hes hasnt done it yet.

Where can i find a credit counsellor? I am so tired and I just want to give up and go somewhere.

[Rhiannercakes 14]

If he avoids the payments too long, he's most likely going to be court ordered to pay through paycheck garnishments.

My fiance avoided paying his credit cards for years and years, owes about 22 000 dollars.

About a year ago, he was court ordered to pay 500+ a month toward the debts and can't get out of it until they're gone.

It comes right out of his paycheck.

As much as it's a bad thing, it's kind of about time someone forced him into paying them... since he avoided it for way too long.

You guys should try and work something out before that happens, losing so much a paycheck with no choice in the matter can really hit things hard.

Edited August 30, 2009 by Rhiann

[DEDixon 39]

Please take your birth control pill every day... don't forget it!!!

are you trying to be rude? I am here to seek suggestion because we messed up. I admit that. I am trying to figure out how to make our lives easier by asking suggestions.

Please don't be rude as I am really emotionally drained right now.

I don't think you messed up at all. Your husband did (it seems it was all him).

Debt calculator:

http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/credit...calculator.aspx

You enter your balance and current interest rate and how much you can apply to the balance every month and it will tell you how long it will take to pay off the debt.

[j_e_w_e_l_l_y_n 0]

If your husband does not like the public schools, you might want to consider homeschooling. My husband is saying the same thing about the school system here in America. We will consider homeschooling, since I am staying home. I could make good use of my time and knowledge to teach our daughter. It's not too expensive. In order for your child to socialize with other kids, join some organizations, like filipino/religious organizations where they meet on weekends and play together.

[Armenia 18]

You seem to have more money sense than your husband. I would insist that there be changes made like you and the others suggested (change school, apartment, get rid of most credit cards). It seems even before the two of you got married, he was already managing his finances very badly (depending on credit cards to pay for travel expenses to visit you = living beyond his means). The most you can really do is insist. But, what if he doesn't take you seriously and make those changes? Would he be willing to see a credit counselor? What are your options if he doesn't even want to see a credit counselor?

Expecting you to find a higher-paying job (if you could even find one at this point) to pay for his debts was not very nice of him. I have a friend who married a USC. For seven years, she had to support her husband because her husband's pay (and part of her pay) went entirely to paying off debts he had before they were married.

I am very interested in hearing other people's suggestions about this because I think this problem is not uncommon at all.

[Dakine 26]

Please take your birth control pill every day... don't forget it!!!

Comments like this are totally inappropriate and while tolerated in Off Topic are not allowed in the Upper Forums. If you have nothing useful to contribute to the conversation, then do not say anything at all. Further comments of this nature will result in administrative action.

I think the person was just saying don't get pregnant as you'll end up in deeper debt! Nothing wrong suggesting that!