How can I make him understand?

[bassel15 0]

Hello all hope you are doing well....I have a bit of a situation here and I need your help....My husband thinks I'm not doing anything to help his papers....which I told him there is nothing I can do but check the uscis site and collect our evidence....I think that there are friends of his in Morocco that are telling him that I can go to people here in the United States that can get this situation were in moving....but I have talked to my senator here and the woman that works in his office said to call her again in nine months....so is he right am I doing nothing to help this situation....we do emails...chats...phone calls....letters....took pictures when I was there...I don't know...this is killing me and if there was more I could do then I would.... but I don't know what more I can do....I know this is very hard on him and he wants to be here with me and the kids.....theres nothing more that i want then to have him here....thank you Bernice

[Minya's wife 25]

Tell him patience is a virtue. He should practice it...especially now that its Ramadan.

Some have longer waits than others unfortunately, its the luck of the draw. Its not fair for him to imply that you're not doing everything you can to 'move things along'. Your husband needs to stop listening to his friends on this issue and hear you when you tell him that you've done all you can and you must wait the process out.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Exactly right.

What confused me a bit is that your timeline states you were rejected/denied. What part of the process are you on now? You last updated in 2008.

[Jenn! 918]

Yeah, your timeline is confusing.

Anyway, let me guess - you filled out all of the paperwork and he doesn't know an NOA from his elbow. Am I right? I remember my husband was frustrated with the process as well when we went through it, and we didn't even experience any real delays. I think he was frustrated because of his ignorance about what was going on combined with having no direct control over the situation. Not that I had any control, but I was the one who was sending/receiving the paperwork, checking for touches online, etc. Maybe if you could explain the process better and get him more involved he could see for himself that all you can do at this point is wait.

As for talking to his friends, I'm sure there's a lot of ignorance about the process and they often start comparing apples to oranges and jumping to incorrect conclusions. For example, when we were waiting for an interview, we waited for an unusual amount of time, so I got my congressman involved, who was able to get the consulate to issue us an interview date. But our petition had already been approved and had gotten hung up somewhere at the consulate. Someone retelling that story might simplify the story to say that my congressman got us an interview. Others might interpret that as a congressman being able to expedite an interview for a petition that hasn't even been approved yet. That's my thought as to how misinformation spreads. And this is probably the kind of stuff that your SO is hearing.

Edited August 25, 2009 by Jenn!

[tmma 467]

Just tell him you are doing all you can- and him believing his friends over you is making this time apart harder for you. I mean you have stated over and over you 'know how hard this is for him...' what about you? You have kids. He's making it harder for you.

There is not much more you can do apart from give him the status update website on USCIS so he can see for himself that the status is pending or whatever; and thusly tell his friends to butt out- although I doubt he will do that.

Good Luck

[NickD 203]

We all had to wait, was over a year in our case, when the ball was in our court, was done instantly, but when the ball is in the USCIS court, had no choice but to wait. Did search for that form of bribery they call expedient service, not applicable in our case. My wife to be also responded as quick as she could in her corrupt country, there a few bucks made a big difference. Wished at times we had something like that here. Developed the phrase at camping out at the mailbox followed by, maybe tomorrow.

[bassel15 0]

Thank You so much I feel so much better....I mean I was starting to wonder myself if there was more I could do....and I'll redo my time line as soon as I get some free time....thanks again....Bernice

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Are you able to refer him here to VJ? Does he have access to a computer with internet service? Perhaps if he sees how many other people are waiting and that it isn't just him he might be a little more understanding of the circumstances. Good luck - there really is no easy answer .