Which of us is responsible for keeping track of deadline

[Nicoxcx 1]

I (the immigrant) handle all of the immigration issues, deadlines, paperwork also purely because I am better at that type of thing. I also handle all of the bills, invites to weddings, parties . I am more organized than my husband.

Also as previously mentioned our Calender is neautral also, when we have something to remember (like my husbands friend's birthday party) he will write it on the calender.

I love my husband, but if it was up to him to pay the bills and manage the books we would be buried in debts!.

[golybki T_V 0]

the answer is that married couples should work it all out together as a team, if he relies on you to do the paperwork then he should do the housewife, you know what I mean.....

I (the usc) took the responsibility to do all the paperwork because he doesn't speak English and doesn't know anything what to do here but I DON'T mind doing it, I actually am happy to do it because I feel more secure if I do it, I know how to do it..... and he on the other hand, to help me out, he does chores around the house, laundry, dishes, cleaning, bathrooms, taking garbage out, I mean EVERYTHING, which is great and I feel we are doing things equally

I hope everything works out with you two also, just sit down one day and talk it all out (but first tell each other that you're just talking and NOT pointing fingers or blaming anyone)...

and God bless your marriage!

P.S. You have to understand him too, maybe they never had SO MUCH responsibility in their country as we do here in the US, he never learned to be THAT responsible and remember thing.

[Kinito_2k3 5]

Unless otherwise agreed, I think that it's the Alien responsibility to deal with that. How can you expect to be taken care of in a society where individualism is king. That's my 2 cents

[EasternDE 35]

Unless otherwise agreed, I think that it's the Alien responsibility to deal with that. How can you expect to be taken care of in a society where individualism is king. That's my 2 cents

Hmm yes but... Who's is the petitioner and who's the beneficiary? Hmmhmm?

Ok, I am the furriner but I did complete all forms, he just had to sign them.

I remember that sometimes I felt like I was faking, because well IF-129 is written as a petition from the USC. ^^

Hrm, not sure if that's clear, but you see what I mean right?!

You know when people ask me what's the worst about the culture difference in a couple, I always reply it's not the differences themselves but the fact you can always use that difference as an excuse that sucks!

I'm wondering if there's a poll about who filled the forms, if it's mainly the USC, the furriner, the male or the female...

I'd bet 2 cts on the females though.

[Kinito_2k3 5]

Unless otherwise agreed, I think that it's the Alien responsibility to deal with that. How can you expect to be taken care of in a society where individualism is king. That's my 2 cents

Hmm yes but... Who's is the petitioner and who's the beneficiary? Hmmhmm?

Ok, I am the furriner but I did complete all forms, he just had to sign them.

I remember that sometimes I felt like I was faking, because well IF-129 is written as a petition from the USC. ^^

Hrm, not sure if that's clear, but you see what I mean right?!

You know when people ask me what's the worst about the culture difference in a couple, I always reply it's not the differences themselves but the fact you can always use that difference as an excuse that sucks!

I'm wondering if there's a poll about who filled the forms, if it's mainly the USC, the furriner, the male or the female...

I'd bet 2 cts on the females though.

Yes I see what you are saying. As far as the I-129F is concerned, until the Alien gets to America, the USC is to take care of it I think. After that, which is their situation, the roles should change I did everything myself too (even for the I-129F), I am the foreigner, but that's because I am much better at that and I feel that it's my responsibility

I bet 3 cts that mostly men filled the files and mostly the foreigners

Where are you from back in France? I am from Bordeaux.

[EasternDE 35]

I bet 3 cts that mostly men filled the files and mostly the foreigners

Where are you from back in France? I am from Bordeaux.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...=97300&st=0

You loose!

62% females!

I'm still in France. Unfortunatly.

I'm a journey beginner.

[Kinito_2k3 5]

I bet 3 cts that mostly men filled the files and mostly the foreigners

Where are you from back in France? I am from Bordeaux.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...=97300&st=0

You loose!

62% females!

I'm still in France. Unfortunatly.

I'm a journey beginner.

Damn it!! I suspect you of being aware of the existence of this poll before asking the question here :yes:

[l.j./1999 1]

I (the USC) handled it all for my husband simply because I am better at paperwork. Nothing else.

Ditto!

Technically I guess it's my husband's "responsibility" since he's the immigrant and it's his status that's at stake, but realistically I'm just better at that stuff. He does the photocopying and actual mailings... I do the organizing and writing part of it

Though I did tell hubby that after he becomes a U.S. citizen this week, it'll be his responsibility to handle the paperwork for maintaining his Philippine citizenship. Now let's see what actually happens! I might just get impatient with his procrastination and fill in all the forms myself

Edited August 25, 2009 by l.j./1999

[kitteh 1]

I'm the USC and a female and I've done all of the work regarding the visa process. This is mostly due to the fact that my husband's English isn't advanced enough to drudge through all of the detailed instruction packets (hell, sometimes I feel as if MY English isn't advanced enough to understand some of this stuff, lol.) I'm naturally more organized than he is--I'm a total planner/list-maker--so it just makes sense that we'd capitalize on our different strengths and weaknesses. He makes up for it by being really helpful in other areas so I don't ever feel resentful or as if I do much more than he does.

My husband is from South America and although they do use debit and credit cards down there he has never had one himself so everything regarding bank accounts and overdraft fees is fairly new to him as well. I just made sure to tell him that he has to log on to his bank account frequently and make sure that he has enough funds before using his debit card. But even if I hadn't had that conversation with him I think it would entirely be his responsability to make sure he isn't overdrawing his account. To be honest though, sometimes it is frustrating because there are so many things that come naturally to a US citizen that he has to be taught and at times I feel like I'm married to a child. But then I remind myself that this is part of the bargain that I signed up for. If it were so important to me that my partner know how to do things as an adult USC would then I should have married a USC. Besides, this is only a phase of our relationship and although he has a lot to learn and adapt to at the beginning it won't be like this forever. I also have to remind myself about how patient, understanding, and helpful he was when I was living in Chile and dealing with the culture shock of daily tasks that seemed foreign to me, so it's only fair that I extend him the same courtesy.

We make a conscious effort to regularly remind ourselves that we are in this together as a team and that it is us against the world instead of us against one another. It's really important, I think, because this process is complicated and stressful and can easily wear a couple down.

[anitacastillo 0]

I (the USC) handled it all for my husband simply because I am better at paperwork. Nothing else.

Same here. Every couple needs to work out their system.

Calendars - wall or PDA or an excel spreadsheet -- are the best.

Maybe you (OP) should be meeting quarterly to discuss things coming up -- like school, holidays, appts, etc.

Good Luck!!

[kitteh 1]

Calendars - wall or PDA or an excel spreadsheet -- are the best.

Absolutely! I have a lot of debt that I accrued before we were married and although I'm dead set on paying it off myself my husband has made it clear that he sees it as OUR debt and our task to get rid of it together. Unfortunately I have it spread across a few different cards and I really felt as if he just didn't fully understand our financial situation because although he was aware of the debt and the payments we make each month he never really saw them since I'm the one who pays the bills. All he really saw was the money coming in. So we bought an erasable wall calandar and we write both of our schedules on it as well as any appointments that are coming up and the due dates of all bills. It's up on the wall for easy, hands-free access and it's really helped keep us on the same page.

We also have a full year wall calandar so we can keep track of deadlines or obligations further down the road. It's been a lifesaver and has helped relieve a lot of our relationship stress.

[TBoneTX 43,489]

he should do the housewife

Sounds like fun for both, si man!