Wedding?

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

Anyone else on here not having an actual wedding? Ryan wants to just get married and have another wedding later. But I wanted the first time we "get married" to be the ONLY time. I even thought maybe we could get married here, once he's here, and his parents come over on a visa to attend. Any adivce? I really wanted my "dream wedding" the first time around. I even offered to compromise on a lot of things I wanted for our wedding. I've already written my vows, and wanted to say them on the big day, but there really isn't going to bed one now.

[gwenneh 7]

Anyone else on here not having an actual wedding? Ryan wants to just get married and have another wedding later. But I wanted the first time we "get married" to be the ONLY time. I even thought maybe we could get married here, once he's here, and his parents come over on a visa to attend. Any adivce? I really wanted my "dream wedding" the first time around. I even offered to compromise on a lot of things I wanted for our wedding. I've already written my vows, and wanted to say them on the big day, but there really isn't going to bed one now.

We, being two Irish Catholics with enormous families, couldn't get away without having a wedding. And it had to be in a Catholic church, too.

That being said, we did have two weddings, both in the church with the same priest. One was our small, offical and legally binding ceremony, the second was the grand affair. Having the small one first didn't take any of the lustre from the big day at all.

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

Of course, I'm going to be happy the second time around. I'm with the greatest guy that has EVER come into my life. It just sucks that we can't have the "main event" the first time around. I just wanted to know that we're not the only ones doing that.

[gimygirl 0]

i highly doubt that his parents would be able to get a visitor's visa within the 90 day window that you need to get married in.

that is something that you need to realistically factor is!

[gwenneh 7]

It just sucks that we can't have the "main event" the first time around. I just wanted to know that we're not the only ones doing that.

Think about it this way: there are LOADS of advantages to having a small wedding before the big one. First of all, you know what to expect! Second, you can use the first time around to get ideas for things you want/don't want to do, say, or have at the big affair (we wound up changing the champaigne, music, etc.)

Believe me, it's just as great the second time. If I had the cash, I'd do it a third time in Ireland, just for those who couldn't make the first two!

[Fandango 1,440]

Yeah well unfortunately the nature of all of our relationships prevent being able to have the time to plan the big do the first time around. We had wanted a cruise wedding...that way I wasn't playing tour guide to all the UK guests. We fig'd get married on the cruise, and everyone has their meals, activities, etc already built in.

But that was before I learned about needing AP to leave the country,

So now we'll do a small thing just us and a few friends/fam down in the keys...and a reaffirmation of our vows with the big hoo ha cruise on out yr anni. Not the ideal situation, but in the end, it's a result that I can live with

Whatever you decide, Mandi, the important thing is that you two will be together and that even if it's not the way you imagined it would be, there are always ways around that.

[danae 0]

I had just your mind set Mandi. We couldnt have a 'big' wedding in time before my B1 visa expired, and I was adamant that I wasnt going to have a small one first, and then the big one later. I wanted my wedding day to be perfect, and the day I was actually becoming a married woman- not just renewing my vows!

I was even saying I was going to return to the UK, and apply for a K1 visa so we could have more time to plan and have the big wedding as our only one. Toran insisted that wasnt going to happen as he didnt want us to be separated- and I see now of course that he was right! I was just being silly

So we had our small wedding last week- no family attended, and only a couple of friends as witnesses- so it really hasnt taken anything away from our 'real' wedding. Many people arent even aware that we are already married, and are just waiting for the big wedding.

In my mind now, having two weddings is just double the fun!

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

I keep thinking, I'm marrying this guy. I don't need all that stuff. The only important thing is that we will be together and will be happy. As soon as all of my friend found out I was getting married, they wanted to help plan the wedding, be there, etc. And I was like, well not having a wedding, going to do it in front of a judge. That's it. So, them getting upset about it, upset me, because I also wanted a wedding, but all that matters is that I will be spending the rest of my life with the one I love. And it will be official, I will be Mrs. Berkeley. Hehe.

I had just your mind set Mandi. We couldnt have a 'big' wedding in time before my B1 visa expired, and I was adamant that I wasnt going to have a small one first, and then the big one later. I wanted my wedding day to be perfect, and the day I was actually becoming a married woman- not just renewing my vows!

I was even saying I was going to return to the UK, and apply for a K1 visa so we could have more time to plan and have the big wedding as our only one. Toran insisted that wasnt going to happen as he didnt want us to be separated- and I see now of course that he was right! I was just being silly

So we had our small wedding last week- no family attended, and only a couple of friends as witnesses- so it really hasnt taken anything away from our 'real' wedding. Many people arent even aware that we are already married, and are just waiting for the big wedding.

In my mind now, having two weddings is just double the fun!

I totally agree there too. But we are just going to get married in front of a judge. Not much of a wedding.

[babybunny 2]

we had the islamic wedding for all of my husbands family and our friends in Pakistan.

once my husband arrive we will have our reception with my family and friends here in the USA. as it was next to impossible to convince my family to go to Pk..

[Kathryn41 3,205]

There will be a specialness about your wedding regardless of how you end up getting married. There will be things you can do to make your simple service personal and special. Say the vows you have written; wear a wedding dress if you wish; hire a horse and buggy for a ride around the block; attend a special afternoon tea with friends afterwards. You bring the 'special' to the occasion . Granted it would be lovely if everyone you wanted to attend could be there with you, but the most important people will be there - the two of you. Plan for the big 'celebration' reception and party afterwards and do a re-enactment of your wedding for them, the way you want it to be, then dance and party and celebrate. I'm betting that when all is said and done it will be your simple personal ceremony that will still hold that extra special place in your heart because of its intimacy. Enjoy!

[ChristinaM 0]

We did not have a "proper" wedding - the two of us and his parents as witnesses in City Hall. I had a picture in my head of the wedding I wanted, but for one, I was in the wrong country, and for two, my husband plays in a wedding band so he's somewhat jaded to the whole wedding thing.

The important thing to us at the end of the day was that we were married and could stay together. As has been said, regardless of how you do it, your wedding we be special to you. It might not be ideal for you to do it small and then have a big, fancy affair afterwards, but you'll remember both if that's the way you choose to go.

[Mark Hewitt 0]

Me and my loveley lady are both in agreement on this one. We both feel that the visa process has sucked the romance out of the wedding, what with all the time constraints etc... so we have decided that as soon as i am able to get married we will have a small wedding with a Justice of the peace and then later on have a BIG do to bless the wedding. That way all our family and friends will be able to attend.

[sarah and hicham 3]

We have decided to get married in our Courthouse then a year or two later we will plan a big wedding with friends/family. It's too hard and almost impossible to plan a wedding three months in advance.

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

We did a big Ukrainian style wedding in Odessa for her family and friends. The great thing about Ukraine is that the US Dollar goes WAY far. If we were to do a wedding here in the US similar to what we had in Ukraine it would be around $50,000.00. I only spent $3000.00 (and that included all of the bribes)! We are planning on doing a reception in the US for my friends and family a couple of months after she arrives. Our goal was that we wanted to be married. Period. The reality was that there was no way her family could come to a wedding in the US.

Joel

[Chuckles 0]

I know she would prefer a big wedding... I try not to think about it and all the money it will cost !!!