Did you get a prenuptial agreement?

[SuperDuper! 230]

Yes. The prenup is mostly known in terms of financial things, but it can be used to delineate the "rules of the relationship".

I saw a documentary of a couple that had each been married 4x before and they thought the only way for their 5th marriage to last , was to have all the rules written in a prenup. Their rules codified all the house chores, events/activities to attend on certain days of week. probably listed the frequency of sex as well, hehe.

Seriously, that's just stupid. ####### for tat doesn't work.

you said it. they were a mental couple. maybe deserving of each other

[bora bora 1]

Neither of us had any money when we got married - a prenup never crossed our minds. We married hoping that this is for life so we'll cross that bridge if we ever get there (and we sure not too).

[John&Juvy 36]

No pre-nup here. Everyboy have different view about this, but for me pre-nup only showed right up-front that u dont trust the person u going to marry with.. But more care about ur property. If that is case then just dont marry that person... i'm sure u can still live together without getting married and ur money still safe without breaking the vows of " For sickness and in health..For ritcher and poorer..till death do us part."

I think it's really hurt and humiliating if ur husband-to-be ask u to sign a pre-nup specially if u really love him sooo much and no intention with his money that he care more about than u and the real meaning of marriage.

[John&Juvy 36]

No pre-nup here. Everyboy have different view about this, but for me pre-nup only showed right up-front that u dont trust the person u going to marry with.. But more care about ur property. If that is case then just dont marry that person... i'm sure u can still live together without getting married and ur money still safe without breaking the vows of " For sickness and in health..For ritcher and poorer..till death do us part."

I think it's really hurt and humiliating if ur husband-to-be ask u to sign a pre-nup specially if u really love him sooo much and no intention with his money that he care more about than u and the real meaning of marriage.

Did i typed ritcher ? lol u know what i mean...

[Caladan 19]

I would think a prenup would be a reason for denial, at the embassy level, and at the AOS level for those adjusting in the US. How do you show a co-mingling of assets if the one or both of the parties has already segregated the assets into mine and yours? This seems particularly cruel to an immigrant that may be desperate to sign anything, just to get into the US.

Because that's not how a pre-nup works. You can still show that assets are co-mingled; everything from the marriage forward, names on new cars, houses, leases, etc. Having a pre-nup doesn't entail that the couple isn't sharing day-to-day life completely. Someone might have a pre-nup to protect their kids' inheritance in the case of a divorce, or to specify arrangements for the care of their elderly parents, or to keep money that is in the extended family (e.g., you're heir to the Gould fortune or something) separate from the new household. Or someone might sign a pre-nup to say "I am not interested in your money."

Springing a pre-nup on a new immigrant would be a dickish thing to do, but that's not the fault of the pre-nup.

We didn't have one, because for our case the usual protections of law suffice.

[Nessa 23]

still, flawed poll

Is there a perfect poll?

lotsa them

[NatPatBen 3]

Some of my family & friends strongly suggest getting a prenup. Others think it means you have no faith in the relationship. I tell them all that it's between me & my SO.

[Nikita2Charles 32]

A prenup can be interpreted as a sign you dont't trust your partner. When We got married I see it as for better and for worse, until death do us part, being christian we take the sacrement of marriage very seriously, we don't know the future, we pray God will bless and protect us, and Leave everything in God's hand.

It also depend on the circusmstances, If someone has already been married and have KIDS and have some serious wealth and he's getting into a new relationship, and getting married, that person has to take into consideration His KIDS from the previous marriage to make sure everybody's well being in taking care off including the new wife. A prenup has to be resonable and if the terms don't make any sense It won't stand up in a court of Law.

Personal experience from a Coworker who lost 150lbs after a divorce and custody issue. Case wasn't international marriage so Just want to take out that visajourney aspect out of it.

The Man Never sign a prenup, was married for 9 years, he had a house some family inheritance, His parents passed him the house years earlier and retired down in Florida, he basically Grew up in the house that his parents owned. The relationship got really rocky in the last 2 years prior to the divorce, they tried marriage counseling that didn't work, until it got the point they had to go their own separate ways.

HERE"S WHERE THINGS GOT MESSY

They started the divorce process, the city was going to appraised the neighborhood his wife lawyer keep stalling the process and telling her to hold and and wait until the appraisal so she can get more money out of the house.

1) He offered to buy her out as part of the divorce settlement, she refused up until after the city appraisal, by then the house value had skyrocket to the point if he refinance to pay her out, he won't be able to afford the new mortgage.

2) In the state of California almost everything becomes communal property it doesn't matter before or after marriage until a good prenup i drawn prior.

3) After the divorced, she used the settlement money to buy a brand new house in the San Juaquin Valley area. So it's not an easy drive to see his daughter, the daughter got yanked out of the neighborhood, her friends, everybody she knew to go settle in that new place with the mom and the new friend who for the past 3 years, she has been saying they were just DEAR FRIENDS, all the time she was cheating on the fellah,

4) After all the money split, he still had Alimony and Child support to Pay, but whenever the daughter needs anything the mother would tell the kid

5) IT took over 5 years for that coworker to recover from that ordeal, but he's never been the same, he was always smiley, outgoing and stuff, he just became really Dull, until slowly he got out of it, so if anybody feel pre nup is a bad thing, think of what would happen if that fellow had one.

Now he lives in a 1 bedroom condo with no yard. but he has finally found peace.

GO ASK YOUR DADDY.

Edited April 7, 2009 by Nikita2Charles

[PlatyPius 5]

I wanted a prenup so Mags couldn't steal my riches. Mags refused and didn't want a prenup. So she could steal my riches.

Now I'm just waiting for her to reduce my vast wealth to zero.

Wait.....no, that's not it.

No prenup. With my house and the sale of her house in the UK, we came into it about equal. Neither of us believes in divorce, so a prenup was never even mentioned.

[Otto 83]

Is there a perfect poll?

Is there a perfect anything? hmmm....

[Ohio_hunter 0]

why the mentality that the marriage is not going to work?

you should have never rushed into it anyway if you weren't ready to work on things together Forever!

[vareska 3]

Yes. I wouldn't trust a foreigner further than I could throw one!

:LOL :LOL

I have been laughing at this for good 5 minutes

We don't have a prenup in terms of the whole legal process.

But...

As part of the Muslim wedding ceremony, the wife must ask for a certain amount, and I had to even though I really dislike that. Never wanted any kind of agreement under the assumption that the marriage will not work out. It is simply not my style...

Since I had to I told my husband I will ask for million dollars, just so that I can pick on him and tell him every day oh baby, you look like million bucks.

He didn't like me making fun of his religion, so he did not appreciate that, but I think it's hilarious.

I asked what his friends' wives have asked for in their weddings, and he told me they asked for a value of one trip to Kaaba /Mecca (Hajj?) for them and the husband, but most of them asked for 1 kilogram of gold. So in our wedding I said 3 kilograms of gold, 'cause I am worth more than those bi*ches )) The imam laughed at that, turned to my husband and said " 3 kg instead of 1? That's what you get for picking an American with their high standards." The imam is a family friend, so we didn't mind the joke...