Question about wedding

[rebeccajo 14]

What everyone is trying to tell you is for you and your family to cancel the wedding arrangements right away. Don't spend another dime unless you enjoy throwing money down the well. How's that for being blunt?

You have just now begun the waiting game for USCIS action (three days ago!!). Anything can happen in that process in the next 6-8 months. By regulations, he cannot come here on a visitor visa with the intent to marry you (even if the pastor is willing to call it a non-marriage). So that is not an option.

I actually don't know of a 'regulation' against that.

And there are a few members around here who have actually done it.

[pushbrk 12,222]

We are planning our wedding for August 15, 2009. We've got a lot of things reserved, etc. However, I don't think we are going to recieve our visa in time. So my first thought was obviously to move the wedding. However, my pastor said that he thinks we can still do the wedding without the visa, but just not sign the paperwork. What i mean is, have the ceremony, etc, but not do a marriage license. And then after getting the visa approved, we could fill out the marriage license. Is this even a possibility? Or is it still illegal?? Please help!!!

Of course, it's both possible and legal but there's not assurance the foreign fiance will be allowed to enter the US at the appropriate time. K1 visas and traditional "far in advance" wedding plans don't really go together very well.

if we decide to go this route, what can we do to ensure he will be allowed to enter??

Nothing to "ensure" it. That was my point. You can read lots here about how to improve the chances of being allowed to enter. Start with the FAQ's or read about others asking the question nearly daily.

I'm known for being blunt but I guess I wasn't blunt enough. Making traditional wedding plans before the visa is in hand has a pretty good chance bringing you major disappointment. You would be trusting to luck.

I completely understood your bluntness. I ignored it because thats pointless now. Its done, so theres no point in saying those things, is there?

Even if you cannot undo what has been done, there's no need to throw more good money after bad by putting down deposits that are not refundable in the event the dates need to change. Not a good idea to have family members buy non-refundable airline tickets to attend a ceremony that may not occur or spend money on engraved invitations etc.

If your dream wedding is a high priority, you'll have a total of nine months available after he gets the visa. He has six months to use it and three more months to accomplish the marriage after arrival.

[tmma 467]

....... By regulations, he cannot come here on a visitor visa with the intent to marry you (even if the pastor is willing to call it a non-marriage). So that is not an option.

He can come here with the intent to marry-many do it and then return home to file for the appropriate visa. Also many have been here on VWP or tourist visa and just decided to get married spur of the minute-then adjust status. Intent when entering the US on a VWP/tourist is what matters here. He CANNOT enter on VWP/tourist/student visa with the intent to marry and adjust status.

Well - all that plus - if they were to marry before he had visa in hand, the K1 process goes down the toilet.

I only mention this because we see sometimes see the question "Can we get married in the US, but he leaves and re-enters on the K1"

Missed adding that bit......

[rebeccajo 14]

Even if you cannot undo what has been done, there's no need to throw more good money after bad by putting down deposits that are not refundable in the event the dates need to change. Not a good idea to have family members buy non-refundable airline tickets to attend a ceremony that may not occur or spend money on engraved invitations etc.

I do agree with this bit. It can be particularly heart-breaking.

[laura819 0]

OK I just want to clarify what I felt was unnecessary. I think that telling me NOW to not make plans, etc, was unneccessary because clearly we already have. And yes, I am really uneasy about having him come here before the K-1 gets approved, etc. I just wondered if what my pastor said was even an option. We've actually been extremely lucky because most people ((photographer, band, cake etc)) involved with the wedding haven't even asked for deposits because they are close friends of ours, so even if we have to change the date, the only deposit we may lose is the reception hall, which I think might be willing to work with us. Other than that, there's no other deposits to put down, so we can afford to just wait now and see what happens.

But mainly I just want to clarify that I didn't think he was being rude because I did not like his answer. If he could have answered without the bit about "but you shouldn't be doing this..." I would have thought nothing of it.

[Old Dominion 26]

Personally, I prefer 'to the point' over 'blunt'.

It is possible to convey facts without being rude. But it's a skill some people just can't master.

Being 'correct' without courtesy is no excuse for social retardation.

I haven't noticed any rudeness here, except in this comment. Social retardation?

[Old Dominion 26]

OK I just want to clarify what I felt was unnecessary. I think that telling me NOW to not make plans, etc, was unneccessary because clearly we already have. And yes, I am really uneasy about having him come here before the K-1 gets approved, etc. I just wondered if what my pastor said was even an option. We've actually been extremely lucky because most people ((photographer, band, cake etc)) involved with the wedding haven't even asked for deposits because they are close friends of ours, so even if we have to change the date, the only deposit we may lose is the reception hall, which I think might be willing to work with us. Other than that, there's no other deposits to put down, so we can afford to just wait now and see what happens.

But mainly I just want to clarify that I didn't think he was being rude because I did not like his answer. If he could have answered without the bit about "but you shouldn't be doing this..." I would have thought nothing of it.

Out of courtesy to your friends, you might suggest that they "pencil in" that date so that they will know that nothing is firm yet, and to check with you if they are asked to work a different event the same day.

[pushbrk 12,222]

OK I just want to clarify what I felt was unnecessary. I think that telling me NOW to not make plans, etc, was unneccessary because clearly we already have. And yes, I am really uneasy about having him come here before the K-1 gets approved, etc. I just wondered if what my pastor said was even an option. We've actually been extremely lucky because most people ((photographer, band, cake etc)) involved with the wedding haven't even asked for deposits because they are close friends of ours, so even if we have to change the date, the only deposit we may lose is the reception hall, which I think might be willing to work with us. Other than that, there's no other deposits to put down, so we can afford to just wait now and see what happens.

But mainly I just want to clarify that I didn't think he was being rude because I did not like his answer. If he could have answered without the bit about "but you shouldn't be doing this..." I would have thought nothing of it.

Please highlight for me the "quoted" passage to which you refer. I've provided a copy for your convenience in bold below.

Nothing to "ensure" it. That was my point. You can read lots here about how to improve the chances of being allowed to enter. Start with the FAQ's or read about others asking the question nearly daily.

I'm known for being blunt but I guess I wasn't blunt enough. Making traditional wedding plans before the visa is in hand has a pretty good chance bringing you major disappointment. You would be trusting to luck.

It's fortunate you only have a deposit on the wedding hall at this moment. If you plan to have him come for a non-marriage ceremony, you may want to avoid the expense of invitations, flowers and family travel that might occur before you know whether he'll be admitted.

[laura819 0]

I was talking more about your first post. When I read it, it just sounded unnecessary to say that they dont go very well together, because I don't feel that you NEEDED to say that to answer my question. That's all.

[Stan1234 0]

We are planning our wedding for August 15, 2009. We've got a lot of things reserved, etc. However, I don't think we are going to recieve our visa in time. So my first thought was obviously to move the wedding. However, my pastor said that he thinks we can still do the wedding without the visa, but just not sign the paperwork. What i mean is, have the ceremony, etc, but not do a marriage license. And then after getting the visa approved, we could fill out the marriage license. Is this even a possibility? Or is it still illegal?? Please help!!!

Going back to the original post and question I can't really see the problem in going ahead with the "wedding" and then re-entering on you K1 visa (when you recieve it) and getting married for real. Have you nice ceremony which you've obviously spent a lot of time and money planning and then get married for real later. Legally as far as I'm aware you're only really married when your paper work is filed. It might be safer however rather than not sign the marriage licence to just pop down to the local town hall when you come back in on the K1.

There is the problem of being allowed into the country when you first come arrive, especially if you turn up with a wedding dress in tow! However I entered the US a number of times whilst waiting for my K1 to be approved and never had any issues with immigration. I think if you have a return ticket (and coming from the UK) you should be safe. Definitely a little risky but perhaps better than scrapping all you wedding plans?

[Old Dominion 26]

What vows could possibly be exchanged before God in a fake wedding?

[Stan1234 0]

What vows could possibly be exchanged before God in a fake wedding?

Seperation of church and state anyone?

I don't want to denigrate anyones beliefs but say all the vows you like before god in your wedding but wait for the K1 to say you vows before the state.

I think its fairly common for people to have a religious wedding and then secular marriage.

[weedebz 0]

contact Jeraly. This is exactly what she did. She had a "non-legal" ceremonial wedding in feb 08 then her legal wedding which was just signing the paper when she came in July or August. She was in the same situation, had wedding plans made before the big 2007 CSC slump.

[TimandJoyce 1]

We are planning our wedding for August 15, 2009. We've got a lot of things reserved, etc. However, I don't think we are going to recieve our visa in time. So my first thought was obviously to move the wedding. However, my pastor said that he thinks we can still do the wedding without the visa, but just not sign the paperwork. What i mean is, have the ceremony, etc, but not do a marriage license. And then after getting the visa approved, we could fill out the marriage license. Is this even a possibility? Or is it still illegal?? Please help!!!

I can relate with you there!! Tim and I are so hoping to get married in June!! *Uncontrollable laughter over that one* As you can see...USCIS just received our information earlier this month. Not that it's impossible to have everything ( including visa ) for that time, but unlikely. Talking to him last night, I mentioned that it's a good thing to be mentally prepared for a later date, and now we are hoping for August too. ( EEEKK In a South Carolina summer!!! I'm going to melt!!) I've only brides maids picked out, and we both belong to the same faith, so the church won't be a problem. If it's your friends that are helping out with other details, then hopefully they'll be able to accommodate you at the time. What I've asked Tim to do, is look for plans A, B, and maybe even C for halls and photographers, because you never know which may or may not be available for your wedding date. We won't even set the date until I have my interview. ( Then he'll probably get on the phone and say "mail off those invitations!!!) LOL

I do hope that things will work out for you considerably. This waiting game sucks!!! * and all peoples nod their head in agreement* This is the price to pay about marrying a foreigner! The hurry up and wait game. I like the comment of "penciling" in the tentative date. All though way too many people have said they want to be at Tim's and my wedding....( well over 300!!), it's a strong possibility that when our date is finally set, a lot of guests won't be able to make it because of prior commitments. Take care Laura and keep posting your progress. You never know....could very well be an August wedding for both of us....and legal!!!

[jundp 191]

What vows could possibly be exchanged before God in a fake wedding?

Seperation of church and state anyone?

I don't want to denigrate anyones beliefs but say all the vows you like before god in your wedding but wait for the K1 to say you vows before the state.

I think its fairly common for people to have a religious wedding and then secular marriage.

I would just like to point out that "separation of church and state" has nothing to do with this....that phrase, which is highly overused and misunderstood, merely means that the government cannot mandate one religion for all people.

Back to topic: To the OP, as Weedebz suggested, PM Jeraly about this exact issue. Good luck!