A Mistake and I Need Some Help

[Brian and Jenn 0]

I agree with one of the original posters above. It looks like you came here with intent to marry before you had to go back.

Married, in the process of adjusting while actively 'seeking' a true love.

---------------

If this is not the case and I truly hope it isnt then you NEED to go back to your native country and have the new 'hubby' file for a K1.

--------------------

Cases like these slow down people who truly are in love and STRUGGLING to survive during the process.

[annrn 0]

Thanks everyone for your help. Let me clarify some of your questions. I have been traveling back and forth between Europe and US for the past 10 years. I know my husband for the last 6 years and we have lived together for the last 4 years . We are from the same country. My 10 year visitors visa was about to expire and we decided that we should get married, which we did.

How does someone control you, that is very easy. I can not be out of his sight. If I am he calls me constantly. If something seems wrong to him he will threaten to pull my AOS application. I know that I can file for a WOMA but even this is difficult. How can I go to a therapist without him knowing. Also, what proof do I have. I don't think it would be a strong case. It is much easier to prove physical abuse than emotional abuse.

When we went for our interview, they did not say that anything was wrong or that they needed more proof. They just said they wanted to review the case again and would set up a new appointment in 3-4 weeks. It is now 3 months and no word.

I guess what I really want to know is will USCIS give me a very hard time if I divorce and remarry? Is there a chance that they would deny me?

Thanks agian

[aravis227 1]

Kid Brooklyn,

I suggest that until you walk in someone's shoes you should not judge them. Especially since you do not have all the facts.

Kid Brooklyn makes a fantastic point, actually. Whether his scenario is what happened or not...it is how people, especially USCIS, are going to see the situation and it is how they will judge you. I hope, for your sake, that what he said is NOT what happened here...but most of us have suffered through the separation that came with going through this process the RIGHT way. Most of us had the opportunity to skip the visa process and just go for an adjustment of status through tourism visas, etc and we chose for the foreign spouse to go home and wait it out. So you'll understand and excuse our skepticism about your story. As I said, I really hope that your situation is an honest one and that you truly were in love with your husband and now truly love this new man.

The previous poster who suggested going back to your native country and applying for a K1 visa hit the nail on the head...that is the best way to convince USCIS that this is a legitimate relationship, you'll have to make sure that you have a lot of good relationship evidence and be prepared to get grilled on it, but it's probably your best chance at not being deported. If USCIS finds that you have committed fraud (and they probably will in your case) you can, and probably will, receive a ban from the US, possibly lifetime for marriage fraud.

Cases like these slow down people who truly are in love and STRUGGLING to survive during the process.

Brian and Jenn -

[annrn 0]

Why is this fraud? Are you saying that Americans who marry and divorce are fraudulent? I am not married to someone who I met last month or last year. Nor am I marrying someone for a green card. Why is your marriage so perfect even though you applied for a green card through marriage?

[FCH 1]

Kid Brooklyn,

I suggest that until you walk in someone's shoes you should not judge them. Especially since you do not have all the facts.

Kid Brooklyn makes a fantastic point, actually. Whether his scenario is what happened or not...it is how people, especially USCIS, are going to see the situation and it is how they will judge you. I hope, for your sake, that what he said is NOT what happened here...but most of us have suffered through the separation that came with going through this process the RIGHT way. Most of us had the opportunity to skip the visa process and just go for an adjustment of status through tourism visas, etc and we chose for the foreign spouse to go home and wait it out. So you'll understand and excuse our skepticism about your story. As I said, I really hope that your situation is an honest one and that you truly were in love with your husband and now truly love this new man.

The previous poster who suggested going back to your native country and applying for a K1 visa hit the nail on the head...that is the best way to convince USCIS that this is a legitimate relationship, you'll have to make sure that you have a lot of good relationship evidence and be prepared to get grilled on it, but it's probably your best chance at not being deported. If USCIS finds that you have committed fraud (and they probably will in your case) you can, and probably will, receive a ban from the US, possibly lifetime for marriage fraud.

Cases like these slow down people who truly are in love and STRUGGLING to survive during the process.

Brian and Jenn -

annrn...

look, people will assume what they want to assume. we all give our two cents on something - right or wrong. true or not.

you ask for opinions, you'll get it. but that's all there is to it.

still uscis has the last and final say on this.

whether youve travelled the world or not, whether youve known your present husband way way back - uscis will still hold judgement for your case.

aravis227 is right. think about it - you might be deported and banned for fraud if they decide so.

and no one can even tell what uscis might think or do . so best to be careful. and best to start clean.

nobody wants to be kicked out of any country and banned.

the safest way would still be you going back to where you started - your country, build on the years of the relationship and file for k1.

then you can tell uscis - look, i did the right thing. now let me marry my fiance.

or go see an immigration lawyer.

good luck.

Edited December 22, 2008 by PrettyFlower

[aravis227 1]

Why is this fraud? Are you saying that Americans who marry and divorce are fraudulent? I am not married to someone who I met last month or last year. Nor am I marrying someone for a green card. Why is your marriage so perfect even though you applied for a green card through marriage?

Yes, I am saying that and have said it for some time, since long before I got involved with my husband and started the immigrations process...the divorce rate in this country is ridiculous and a large number of those marriages could be saved by a little bit of common sense and possibly some therapy.

I did not say your relationship was fraud, I said that USCIS would likely see it that way. Fair or not, immigrant marriages are held under much higher scrutiny than other marriages. You have more to prove in your relationship because there is more riding on it. You asked for advice on whether USCIS would have a problem with your marriage and how you could best get through this situation and marry your new love. Many people gave you that advice. I told you how USCIS is likely to see your situation and I told you how best to get around it. You can take that advice or not.

[Boiler 47,437]

The issue is not whether the marriage is fraudulent, it is whether USCIS will think it is for immigration benefit.

So we have someone who entered on a tourist visa

Married and sought to adjust status, no major deal

Adjustment refused, turns up later seeking adjustment through another marriage. You are going to want a Lawyer, questons are going to be asked.

[Eshansmommy 2]

Why did you get denied? Maybe you should just sit through this marriage and give your ex what he deserves, what he is asking for, and then divorce him once you have your paperwork and get married to your new bf? I mean, I know this sounds like fraude, but didn't you love him when you got married? Isn't your marriage bona fide? If so, then you might as well stick through it and try to make it work for the time being. If he is still being an ### by the time u do get ur g.c. then you can divorce and meet your new guy.

[alexpapa 4]

Why did you get denied? Maybe you should just sit through this marriage and give your ex what he deserves, what he is asking for, and then divorce him once you have your paperwork and get married to your new bf? I mean, I know this sounds like fraude, but didn't you love him when you got married? Isn't your marriage bona fide? If so, then you might as well stick through it and try to make it work for the time being. If he is still being an ### by the time u do get ur g.c. then you can divorce and meet your new guy.

more and more advice like this which puts all of the legitimate applications in question and just increases our waiting time

Edited December 22, 2008 by alexpapa

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

I'm sensing that she's opposed to the idea of going back home and doing K-1. I wonder why...

Annrn,

You know your husband for 6 years and have lived together for 4, and you just realized that he was this way AFTER you got married??? Something doesn't add up here.

Edited December 22, 2008 by kid brooklyn

[Boiler 47,437]

I'm sensing that she's opposed to the idea of going back home and doing K-1. I wonder why...

Cost

Seperation

Job

and quite a few others come to mind.

[aravis227 1]

I'm sensing that she's opposed to the idea of going back home and doing K-1. I wonder why...

Cost

Seperation

Job

and quite a few others come to mind.

And almost all of us went through that...it sucks, but it's part of the process. We've already sunk over $2k into this process, we're only partway through it, and that's not even counting travel and moving costs. I'm sorry that she doesn't want to go through what the rest of us have done...but she doesn't get a pass just because it's hard.

[Boiler 47,437]

It was part of our process.

OP has other options.

[SunDrop 59]

I'm sensing that she's opposed to the idea of going back home and doing K-1. I wonder why...

Annrn,

You know your husband for 6 years and have lived together for 4, and you just realized that he was this way AFTER you got married??? Something doesn't add up here.

This isn't actually true. It's not unheard of that partners are unreproachable until they perceive themselves to have gained control and the upper hand following a change in situation, like from co-habiting to marriage. He might have traditional views of the role a woman plays in a marriage, that don't apply when you're just living together. I'm an intelligent, capable, well-educated woman who failed to see until she was out of it, that her spouse had been emotionally abusive. It's often something that gradually develops, often due to a couple's inability to communicate effectively and individuals pyschological make-up.

What is difficult for annrn is the fact that by her own admission, they married because her visa was due to expire. Therefore she DID technically marry in order to remain in the US, which effectively IS marrying for a GC (as the outcome of the AOS is a greencard).

annrn, Using your description of the situation and presenting it in another way: "I legitimately travelled to and from the US on a tourist visa, which I used to residewith someone for 4 years before we married so that I could continue to reside in the US. Now that my spouse is controlling me and using the AOS as emotional blackmail, I no longer wish to remain married to him and until my AOS is approved, because my I94 has expired, I have to find a solution that will allow me to stay in the US. I have met someone else and wish to marry a USC that I hardly know in order to "legimately" continue residing in the US.

Sorry, but if I were a USCIS officer, I'd refuse your AOS too, if the AOS was filed through your 2nd husband.

The issue here isn't that you are divorcing and proposing remarrying. The issue is your reasons behind the marriages in the first place! Not only have you abused your tourist visa, but you're doing anything that you can (read marriage fraud) to remain in the US.

Respectfully, don't take offense at people being outraged by your situation and attempts to stay "legally" in the US. We'd all be with our genuinely loved ones if we didn't make the responsible, mature decision to make sure that our immigration process was as within the requirements of the system. People are offended because time spent 'assessing, investigating and deciding' on your (apparently) fraudulent attempts to remain in the US are delaying those cases that are genuine of couples who are forceably apart.

[Boiler 47,437]

Marrying solely for Immigration Benefit is an issue.

That does not seem to be the case here. Persuading USCIS that it is not is the issue.