Where are the parents?

[Mark UK 3]

Hi, all,

My wife and I have traveled a lot since I got here and we've stayed in a few hotels. On three separate occasions, we've managed to pull the short straw and be lodged in the room next to the screaming children who, at around 11pm, decide it's time to yell that bit louder and run in and out of the room, slamming the hotel room door every seven seconds and screaming up and down the hotel hallway.

Of course, after 30 minutes of this, it becomes tiresome and I tend to have to go over to their room, demand that they stop and if they don't, like they often don't, call Guest Services who presumably threaten to kick them out of hotel. Probably not, but let's assume that just so I feel better.

The question I have is 'where are the parents?'. Every time, they're young girls between the ages of 8 and 10 and we're talking about 11pm on a Saturday night. The parents are clearly not around because they would (you'd hope) have stopped the behavior and if they are around, they don't dare show their faces whenever I have to complain to the kids. I presume that they're out at a bar or something and have left the kids to their own devices in a busy hotel where any sort of bad person could be staying.

Isn't this child neglect? I pointed that out to the Guest Services person and she didn't know or seem to care. With what happened with Madeleine McCann, shouldn't parents be far less ignorant and self-centered and actually look after their kids whenever they go somewhere? It's not the first time this has happened, but it's the third time since I've been here so I'm worried it might actually be 'acceptable' over here. That's scary.

[Reba 2]

Yep, its pretty common actually. I used to work in a motel here in town and twice a year we'd get the baseball and soccer tournaments in town, and the kids would be running rampant around the hotel whilst their parents are downstairs in the lounge (there's no bar in any of the hotels here in town, just sitting lounge) playing cards and gossiping. More than once I had to tell them to corral their children and tell them to shut up. They just didn't seem to care "oh, they're just excited about the tourney..."

And any large gathering I've been at since I got here, children are running around unsupervised, getting into all sorts of trouble, including running into a busy street and then the actual parent of hte child said "Who was supposed to be watching my kid! Why'd you let him run out into the street like that!?" ugh...

I kind of live in an area where people breed just so their welfare cheque can be bigger and they don't teach sex ed or family skills in schools, which is part of the problem.

[PlatyPius 5]

It isn't child endangerment, it's Child Empowerment! You can't tell kids what to do, cuz that might stunt their creative learning abilities. You can't punish them; it might cause mental issues that won't be found until she's 24 and suddenly realizes that she's been blowing guys for crystal meth.

You gotta let those kids be free! They have to be able to act on any and all urges. To do otherwise is cruel and a basis for you to be charged with child abuse.

Or so it seems, in this ridiculously child-centric culture we have at the moment.

[Peikko 1,575]

Today is Sunday - I have to work tomorrow.

[britty 1]

Letting kids run wild does seem to be the norm here. I purchased a smoothie recently from a smoothie bar, and just as I was getting served, two kids charged up to the bar (in a mall), and starting shouting their demands. The mother did absolutely nothing so I had to tell them that I was getting served and they needed to back off until I was finished. The mother looked horrified but said nothing which was the best course of action for her at that moment.

[Gemmie 142]

Hmm, I've seen it happen.

On 4th July we (me, fiance and MIL) went to watch the firework display at the town centre.. our town is very small, by the way. While we were there, there was a bunch of kids (around 12-16) playing on their skateboards right next to the green where everyone was sitting. They were on the other side of the fence, shouting, making rude comments... finally, a man near us told them to shut up and if not, he would be over that fence.. the kids quickly stopped, but I wondered 'where are their parents?' It wasn't too late (about 9pm) but certainly dark enough.

Then again, I've seen it happen in the UK too. There were always groups of teens hanging out around corner shops, smoking, drinking, whatever else.. usually being rude to people that walked by.

I don't think it's something exclusive to America. Just modern parenting issues.

[TBoneTX 43,538]

Don't children taste like chicken?

[LikeALadybug 2]

No, I wouldn't call it the norm over here but I see it here just as I see it in other countries. I would actually say the parenting style over here can be very strict. But of course, I'm from a Scandinavian country..maybe that's why. LOL

FYI, I do not allow my child to run around like that. I don't consider the USA safe enough for things like that. Stories like Maddie McCan are certainly fresh in my mind even though it seems like a slightly different scenario; she was not just running wild while no one was looking. But over here...no way, people are crazy, I don't trust them.

I'm glad to hear you complained, I certainly would have.The reaction of the staff seemed typical American to me though.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

It isn't child endangerment, it's Child Empowerment! You can't tell kids what to do, cuz that might stunt their creative learning abilities. You can't punish them; it might cause mental issues that won't be found until she's 24 and suddenly realizes that she's been blowing guys for crystal meth.

You gotta let those kids be free! They have to be able to act on any and all urges. To do otherwise is cruel and a basis for you to be charged with child abuse.

Or so it seems, in this ridiculously child-centric culture we have at the moment.

Over my dead body... :devil:

[Mononoke28 134]

It is definitely not the norm, especially if they're younger than 13-14 years-old. My mom used to leave me and my sister home alone when we were kids but this is in Colombia back in the 70s. But this is the US and we're not in the 21st century, so no, it's not the norm. But as Reba commented above, it's more common than it should be. Remember that little girl who is missing when vacationing with her parents in Portugal? Yeah, not the safest thing to do when going out on vacation with your children.

Diana

[Dr. Obvious 49]

It is definitely not the norm, especially if they're younger than 13-14 years-old. My mom used to leave me and my sister home alone when we were kids but this is in Colombia back in the 70s. But this is the US and we're not in the 21st century, so no, it's not the norm. But as Reba commented above, it's more common than it should be. Remember that little girl who is missing when vacationing with her parents in Portugal? Yeah, not the safest thing to do when going out on vacation with your children.

Diana

Maybe it what they are secretly hoping for though. Maybe they were on their way to Nebraska.

[Mononoke28 134]

Maybe they were on their way to Nebraska.

LOL! No kidding!

Diana

[Sandrila 1]

Well after travelling to a couple "3 world" countries and seeing real family life and children's behaviors there

I am stunned to see how completely spoiled, disrespectful and out of control children/teens and young adults are here.

Sure is has to do with their parents but not only....this society we live in contributes greatly.

you need to get a reign on kids when they are quite small...at an age when most people think they are too young to be disciplined or you laugh at what they do wrong and think it is cute

if you wait too long it is extremely hard to regain control

our country has lost a lot of core values that need to be instilled in our children.

my husband, is just shocked to see how kids live here and certainly has stated that "our" child would be raised quite different. I look forward to that. However, it is not to say that parents who do an excellent job of loving and moderately yet sufficiently supporting their children, wouldn't encounter behavioral problems down the road. It cant be completely blamed on the parent...but I dont see anything wrong with putting my foot up my kids' arses if they persist in being beligerent, disrespectful and blatently irresponsible whether it be in the home or in public.

Nothing worse than a bratty whiny child

there is nothing wrong with tough love if needed. Kids should not rule the roost or the parents, once they have achieved their years and experience they will earn that right!

Edited December 11, 2008 by sandrila

[Reba 2]

here here!

[2xHollyx2 3]

Sandrila, you are absolutely right!!!