Help! Husband want to divorce when it comes to removing conditional GC

[alei719 0]

I really feel bad for my friend Katy, but I don't know what can I do to help her, please help!

My friend is a nice lady, she came to the States to marry her husband 2 years ago, they had no problem in their marriage until she came back to Thailand to see her daughter and family. Her husband wrote her a email to tell her that he want to divorce, and he will send all her package back to Thailand to her, told her no borther to come back. He wrote and picked every small things to tell her why did he want to divorce. My friend didn't accept it, they can't talk about divorce in the phone or just write a email! And she did nothing wrong! Before she came back to Thailand, they had no problem.

So she changed her flight ticket to came back to the States, she didn't have a driver license, so she called him to pick her up in the airport.( even just a friend, if people need help, you will do it, right), but he refused! I had to pick up my friend, and took her home. When she got home, she found every single of her stuff was packed and put in another room. She tried to work things out, but he didn't talk to her and just completely ignore her, and he didn't want to file that remove conditional green card for her of course! Even she need a ride to go out to get food, he didn't take her. She didn't eat for 2 whole days because he didn't take her to get food! I can't image a woman in this age would still have to deal with this emotional torture!

I think this can be domestic voilence, and I also think this guy planned all these. Maybe he already has another woman! What he wanted to do is to metal abuse her until she couldn't stand and go home. What kinds of people would do this, bring a woman from another country, then mental abuse her and try to abandon her! I know she should leave him, but I think she also deserved her green card!

Please help her and give her some advice, thank you!

[luv2uallday 1]

I really feel bad for my friend Katy, but I don't know what can I do to help her, please help!

My friend is a nice lady, she came to the States to marry her husband 2 years ago, they had no problem in their marriage until she came back to Thailand to see her daughter and family. Her husband wrote her a email to tell her that he want to divorce, and he will send all her package back to Thailand to her, told her no borther to come back. He wrote and picked every small things to tell her why did he want to divorce. My friend didn't accept it, they can't talk about divorce in the phone or just write a email! And she did nothing wrong! Before she came back to Thailand, they had no problem.

So she changed her flight ticket to came back to the States, she didn't have a driver license, so she called him to pick her up in the airport.( even just a friend, if people need help, you will do it, right), but he refused! I had to pick up my friend, and took her home. When she got home, she found every single of her stuff was packed and put in another room. She tried to work things out, but he didn't talk to her and just completely ignore her, and he didn't want to file that remove conditional green card for her of course! Even she need a ride to go out to get food, he didn't take her. She didn't eat for 2 whole days because he didn't take her to get food! I can't image a woman in this age would still have to deal with this emotional torture!

I think this can be domestic voilence, and I also think this guy planned all these. Maybe he already has another woman! What he wanted to do is to metal abuse her until she couldn't stand and go home. What kinds of people would do this, bring a woman from another country, then mental abuse her and try to abandon her! I know she should leave him, but I think she also deserved her green card!

Please help her and give her some advice, thank you!

this definitly sounds planned out... He could be cheating on her that is a possiblility but will have to dig around to find out for sure... She wasn't what he wanted and when was looking for the easiest way to dump her to the curb.... This freak isn't a man but a coward... He waited till she was in thailand to tell her cuz he was betting she wouldn't retun and he could just walk away... This is a calous and cruel man I hope and pray he gets the same that he gave maybe it will soften his hardened heart.......

She can still remove her conditions though.... If she can prove that the marriage was in good faith... She will have to get a divorce first to be able to do that.... She needs to get an immigration attorney for this..... On proving mental abuse she would need lots of evidence witnesses police reports etcs again need counsel from an attorney on that one... I wish your friend the best of luck and let her know she is not alone... Be her angel when everyone else has abandoned her..... I send you two my love and hopes that everything WILL work out in the end and I know they will take care and God bless you eternally

[LastSurvivor 0]

I am sorry to hear your story. It sounds like it is a sad event and definitely wrong. However, there are always two sides to a story and we and you have only heard one side. Hers. My wife is also from Thailand and I would never do anything like that but I have heard many stories of things not working out. I will not speculate as that is what it would be on my part. I wish your friend the best in her situation. Good Luck.

LS

[Peter 0]

You threw in domestic violence, abuse, etc.

How is this deomstic violence? The husband told her not ot come back, he is ignoring her an waiting for her to leave. This is not Domestic violence. Domestic violence is the act of verbal/physical abuse. From your post, he's doing none. He's keeping his mouth shut and ignoring her.

You stated that everything UP until she went to thailand was good... how was she "mentally abused" until then? This story does not make sense. She doesn't have ot stay at hte house, she stay at your house, or what not. He's not preventing her from eating. She can leave and walk/ get a friend (yourself) to drive her.

I just hate how people throw in ABUSE and domestic violence just because things are not going ok.

[wifey246 0]

I agree. The husband did not physically hurt her and he didn't forcibly subject her to mental and emotional abuse. He told her he didn't want her back but she insisted on coming back to a situation where she has to be totally dependent on a man who doesn't want her.

She can still get a green card. Tell your friend to file for a divorce and then remove conditions on her own. If she can prove that she wasn't after the green card, she'll be okay.

[macburt 0]

I really feel bad for my friend Katy, but I don't know what can I do to help her, please help!

My friend is a nice lady, she came to the States to marry her husband 2 years ago, they had no problem in their marriage until she came back to Thailand to see her daughter and family. Her husband wrote her a email to tell her that he want to divorce, and he will send all her package back to Thailand to her, told her no borther to come back. He wrote and picked every small things to tell her why did he want to divorce. My friend didn't accept it, they can't talk about divorce in the phone or just write a email! And she did nothing wrong! Before she came back to Thailand, they had no problem.

So she changed her flight ticket to came back to the States, she didn't have a driver license, so she called him to pick her up in the airport.( even just a friend, if people need help, you will do it, right), but he refused! I had to pick up my friend, and took her home. When she got home, she found every single of her stuff was packed and put in another room. She tried to work things out, but he didn't talk to her and just completely ignore her, and he didn't want to file that remove conditional green card for her of course! Even she need a ride to go out to get food, he didn't take her. She didn't eat for 2 whole days because he didn't take her to get food! I can't image a woman in this age would still have to deal with this emotional torture!

I think this can be domestic voilence, and I also think this guy planned all these. Maybe he already has another woman! What he wanted to do is to metal abuse her until she couldn't stand and go home. What kinds of people would do this, bring a woman from another country, then mental abuse her and try to abandon her! I know she should leave him, but I think she also deserved her green card!

Please help her and give her some advice, thank you!

[Y's_habibitk 2]

You threw in domestic violence, abuse, etc.

How is this deomstic violence? The husband told her not ot come back, he is ignoring her an waiting for her to leave. This is not Domestic violence. Domestic violence is the act of verbal/physical abuse. From your post, he's doing none. He's keeping his mouth shut and ignoring her.

You stated that everything UP until she went to thailand was good... how was she "mentally abused" until then? This story does not make sense. She doesn't have ot stay at hte house, she stay at your house, or what not. He's not preventing her from eating. She can leave and walk/ get a friend (yourself) to drive her.

I just hate how people throw in ABUSE and domestic violence just because things are not going ok.

I totally agree. Abuse? no... it was cold and hurtful. He told her not to come back. She chose to come back, which alot of people would to try and work things out, but still.

He didnt lock her in that house. She needs to leave and find another place to stay.

Good luck to her

Edited August 21, 2008 by Y_habibitk

[Kanyiri 0]

I obviously don't know every aspect to this story, but if she has been a stay at home wife - with no job, no money, and no drivers license - and he is refusing to bring her food to eat, that certainly sounds like abuse to me. You can't say that because he told her not to come then it isn't abuse. That's a justification. Everyone has an excuse for a crime.

[NickD 202]

You threw in domestic violence, abuse, etc.

How is this deomstic violence? The husband told her not ot come back, he is ignoring her an waiting for her to leave. This is not Domestic violence. Domestic violence is the act of verbal/physical abuse. From your post, he's doing none. He's keeping his mouth shut and ignoring her.

You stated that everything UP until she went to thailand was good... how was she "mentally abused" until then? This story does not make sense. She doesn't have ot stay at hte house, she stay at your house, or what not. He's not preventing her from eating. She can leave and walk/ get a friend (yourself) to drive her.

I just hate how people throw in ABUSE and domestic violence just because things are not going ok.

I totally agree. Abuse? no... it was cold and hurtful. He told her not to come back. She chose to come back, which alot of people would to try and work things out, but still.

He didnt lock her in that house. She needs to leave and find another place to stay.

Good luck to her

Gee you people are ignorant, ignoring is certainly a form of abuse and as a married spouse, she had every right to go back to her home, that is her home too. If he wants her out of there, leave that up to the courts to decide, they may let her stay there and make him find a motel someplace or make him pay the rent for someplace for her to stay. But leave that up to the courts so they can hear both sides of the story.

Marriage is a very serious contract and not taken lightly by the law and it would also be nice if the USCIS realized this fact as well. It is a rather easy contract to enter, but a very difficult one to break. And not like dumping an old girlfriend, once married, you are stuck. Even in some states, just living together forms an automatic common law marriage and one cannot pack up the goods of the other and dump them. Let's just leave this for the court to decide, but this woman most certainly should learn very quickly about her rights.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

You threw in domestic violence, abuse, etc.

How is this deomstic violence? The husband told her not ot come back, he is ignoring her an waiting for her to leave. This is not Domestic violence. Domestic violence is the act of verbal/physical abuse. From your post, he's doing none. He's keeping his mouth shut and ignoring her.

You stated that everything UP until she went to thailand was good... how was she "mentally abused" until then? This story does not make sense. She doesn't have ot stay at hte house, she stay at your house, or what not. He's not preventing her from eating. She can leave and walk/ get a friend (yourself) to drive her.

I just hate how people throw in ABUSE and domestic violence just because things are not going ok.

Those are not the only forms of abuse...he's also mentally abusing her. That's his wife...he's suppose to take care of her or at least try. He's not providing food so she can eat, now tell me, how is that not being abusive. Some of ya'll say she should have stayed in her country (WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE)...that's her husband, she loves him still and I'm sure she wants to be with him... it's not always that easy. I would at least want to find out why he wants to leave me and tell me to my face. Maybe there is more to this. Just because you don't have bruises or covered with cuts or a black eye, don't mean you're not being ABUSED.

[Peter 0]

You threw in domestic violence, abuse, etc.

How is this deomstic violence? The husband told her not ot come back, he is ignoring her an waiting for her to leave. This is not Domestic violence. Domestic violence is the act of verbal/physical abuse. From your post, he's doing none. He's keeping his mouth shut and ignoring her.

You stated that everything UP until she went to thailand was good... how was she "mentally abused" until then? This story does not make sense. She doesn't have ot stay at hte house, she stay at your house, or what not. He's not preventing her from eating. She can leave and walk/ get a friend (yourself) to drive her.

I just hate how people throw in ABUSE and domestic violence just because things are not going ok.

Those are not the only forms of abuse...he's also mentally abusing her. That's his wife...he's suppose to take care of her or at least try. He's not providing food so she can eat, now tell me, how is that not being abusive. Some of ya'll say she should have stayed in her country (WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE)...that's her husband, she loves him still and I'm sure she wants to be with him... it's not always that easy. I would at least want to find out why he wants to leave me and tell me to my face. Maybe there is more to this. Just because you don't have bruises or covered with cuts or a black eye, don't mean you're not being ABUSED.

he's not preventing her form eating. I'm sure there is SOMETHING to eat in the house? How do you have a house with nothing to eat? I mean, she has friends, she can simply ask them for help. He's asked her not to come back, I mean, she wanted to come back on her OWN choice. He didn't make her come back and live with him. Again, this is only one side one to the story.

If I were in her position, I'd leave. I'd find a way to leave. I'd go live with a friend, or best, go back home. Maybe I'm just cold hearted. Heck, I'd live with a friend for a week until I find a job and live in a crappy apartment for a few weeks/months. Its really not that hard. I've done it , twice when my parents kicked me out when I was younger.

Edited August 21, 2008 by Peter

[SterlingGirl 1]

If I were in her position, I'd leave. I'd find a way to leave. I'd go live with a friend, or best, go back home. Maybe I'm just cold hearted. Heck, I'd live with a friend for a week until I find a job and live in a crappy apartment for a few weeks/months. Its really not that hard. I've done it , twice when my parents kicked me out when I was younger.

And you probably also had the luxury of having a command over the native language, knowledge of the lay of the land, how to find things, other family if necessary. If she's still here, then it's very possible he was her only link to America and she's quite literally stranded now. Going back might sound like the easiest solution, but you don't think you'd at least be a LITTLE confused and needing closure when the person who once said he wanted to spend his life with you just suddenly clams up and disappears from your life? Coldhearted, pragmatic, whatever you'd want to call yourself - at least when it comes to a marriage to someone for whom you gave up an entire life in another country, I'd think it might throw you for enough of a loop that the "easy" solution just doesn't seem like the right one.

If you don't like "abuse", fine, but it's definitely mistreatment. It's rather cruel to bring someone into a totally different culture and then, without even so much as an explanation, completely throwing them right back out of your life for unexplained reasons.

Edited August 21, 2008 by SterlingGirl

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

If I were in her position, I'd leave. I'd find a way to leave. I'd go live with a friend, or best, go back home. Maybe I'm just cold hearted. Heck, I'd live with a friend for a week until I find a job and live in a crappy apartment for a few weeks/months. Its really not that hard. I've done it , twice when my parents kicked me out when I was younger.

And you probably also had the luxury of having a command over the native language, knowledge of the lay of the land, how to find things, other family if necessary. If she's still here, then it's very possible he was her only link to America and she's quite literally stranded now. Going back might sound like the easiest solution, but you don't think you'd at least be a LITTLE confused and needing closure when the person who once said he wanted to spend his life with you just suddenly clams up and disappears from your life? Coldhearted, pragmatic, whatever you'd want to call yourself - at least when it comes to a marriage to someone for whom you gave up an entire life in another country, I'd think it might throw you for enough of a loop that the "easy" solution just doesn't seem like the right one.

If you don't like "abuse", fine, but it's definitely mistreatment. It's rather cruel to bring someone into a totally different culture and then, without even so much as an explanation, completely throwing them right back out of your life for unexplained reasons.

At least give her that if anything.

[wifetobe 2]

You threw in domestic violence, abuse, etc.

How is this deomstic violence? The husband told her not ot come back, he is ignoring her an waiting for her to leave. This is not Domestic violence. Domestic violence is the act of verbal/physical abuse. From your post, he's doing none. He's keeping his mouth shut and ignoring her.

You stated that everything UP until she went to thailand was good... how was she "mentally abused" until then? This story does not make sense. She doesn't have ot stay at hte house, she stay at your house, or what not. He's not preventing her from eating. She can leave and walk/ get a friend (yourself) to drive her.

I just hate how people throw in ABUSE and domestic violence just because things are not going ok.

Those are not the only forms of abuse...he's also mentally abusing her. That's his wife...he's suppose to take care of her or at least try. He's not providing food so she can eat, now tell me, how is that not being abusive. Some of ya'll say she should have stayed in her country (WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE)...that's her husband, she loves him still and I'm sure she wants to be with him... it's not always that easy. I would at least want to find out why he wants to leave me and tell me to my face. Maybe there is more to this. Just because you don't have bruises or covered with cuts or a black eye, don't mean you're not being ABUSED.

Well said I couldn't agree with you more. Stress of the mental is the invisible killer, worse than physical alot of the time actually. Bruises disappear you see.

[NickD 202]

You threw in domestic violence, abuse, etc.

How is this deomstic violence? The husband told her not ot come back, he is ignoring her an waiting for her to leave. This is not Domestic violence. Domestic violence is the act of verbal/physical abuse. From your post, he's doing none. He's keeping his mouth shut and ignoring her.

You stated that everything UP until she went to thailand was good... how was she "mentally abused" until then? This story does not make sense. She doesn't have ot stay at hte house, she stay at your house, or what not. He's not preventing her from eating. She can leave and walk/ get a friend (yourself) to drive her.

I just hate how people throw in ABUSE and domestic violence just because things are not going ok.

Those are not the only forms of abuse...he's also mentally abusing her. That's his wife...he's suppose to take care of her or at least try. He's not providing food so she can eat, now tell me, how is that not being abusive. Some of ya'll say she should have stayed in her country (WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE)...that's her husband, she loves him still and I'm sure she wants to be with him... it's not always that easy. I would at least want to find out why he wants to leave me and tell me to my face. Maybe there is more to this. Just because you don't have bruises or covered with cuts or a black eye, don't mean you're not being ABUSED.

he's not preventing her form eating. I'm sure there is SOMETHING to eat in the house? How do you have a house with nothing to eat? I mean, she has friends, she can simply ask them for help. He's asked her not to come back, I mean, she wanted to come back on her OWN choice. He didn't make her come back and live with him. Again, this is only one side one to the story.

If I were in her position, I'd leave. I'd find a way to leave. I'd go live with a friend, or best, go back home. Maybe I'm just cold hearted. Heck, I'd live with a friend for a week until I find a job and live in a crappy apartment for a few weeks/months. Its really not that hard. I've done it , twice when my parents kicked me out when I was younger.

Ha, with that attitude, probably would have kicked you out too. What is your parents side of your story?