For those of you who got a recent divorce to be with your new Fiancee

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

We filed for our I-129F the day after I got my divorce.

I never mentioned it and I was just approved at my interview. They never even commented on the time line of my divorce to filing.

As for your 5 pages of....well...complete overkill...you don't need it.

Be straight and to the point. State how you first met, then how you met in person and approximately how many trips you've had. There is no need to go on and on and on about who you use to be, who you are now, how much you love one another, etc., etc., etc. You'll be fine.

Best of luck!!!

Your advice is good but this is Vietnam, not Canada. "You'll be fine" is not just a stretch, its a fantasy. This is the most difficult Consulate in the world from which to obtain a K1 visa. The good news is that bona fide relationships almost always EVENTUALLY succeed but huge numbers have to overcome 221g results at initial interview for reasons that seem nonsensical to many.

Sorry, just trying to stay positive for the OP

[pushbrk 12,212]

We filed for our I-129F the day after I got my divorce.

I never mentioned it and I was just approved at my interview. They never even commented on the time line of my divorce to filing.

As for your 5 pages of....well...complete overkill...you don't need it.

Be straight and to the point. State how you first met, then how you met in person and approximately how many trips you've had. There is no need to go on and on and on about who you use to be, who you are now, how much you love one another, etc., etc., etc. You'll be fine.

Best of luck!!!

Your advice is good but this is Vietnam, not Canada. "You'll be fine" is not just a stretch, its a fantasy. This is the most difficult Consulate in the world from which to obtain a K1 visa. The good news is that bona fide relationships almost always EVENTUALLY succeed but huge numbers have to overcome 221g results at initial interview for reasons that seem nonsensical to many.

Sorry, just trying to stay positive for the OP

That's why I need to keep up the straight talk. Sometimes the truth isn't what we want to hear and if we only hear what makes us feel good in this process, we often find ourselves facing tremendous disappointment we could have been prepared for.

Nobody knows who is going to "be fine".

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Whatever

We are two completely different people and that's just fine.

[Carlawarla 1]

Whatever

We are two completely different people and that's just fine.

[pushbrk 12,212]

Whatever

We are two completely different people and that's just fine.

Of course it's fine to be different. What is not fine is to tell somebody who is not yet completed their preparation to get their fiance(e) through the visa process in a high fraud country, "you'll be fine". It's not "fine". It's totally irresponsible and reckless. Let's focus on facts and preparation rather than platitudes. Of course, it's your choice but I'll exercise my "different" choice and challenge each empty platitude I see, when I think it's appropriate. Maybe you'll get tired of it.

[truffles 2]

OP...perhaps this could be something that could be best addressed in the regional forum, as people's personal experiences are sometimes useful? Please do let us all know what happens as it is always good to know the outcome of such cases.

[KimandRuss 0]

ILoveTan posts often in the regional threads and she is well aware of the uphill battle that awaits going through Vietnam.

That being said... she'll be fine ...because, with or without a visa... she has great love and, in the end, that overshadows all else.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

ILoveTan posts often in the regional threads and she is well aware of the uphill battle that awaits going through Vietnam.

That being said... she'll be fine ...because, with or without a visa... she has great love and, in the end, that overshadows all else.

Right on Sista!!!!!!!!!

[truffles 2]

have to say - from the posts I have seen - I agree - the lady seems to be more than aware of the situation - and is putting her questions out here because she knows there may be a battle.

My interpretation of straight talk is - to use an american coloquism - " just the facts ma'am".

In any situation requiring some " bad news" or something that you know is not going to delight someone by all means lay down the facts openly and honestly, but also have some heart when doing so, a little encouragement is always welcomed, yes it is going to be a battle but it is possible to succeed.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Whatever

We are two completely different people and that's just fine.

Of course it's fine to be different. What is not fine is to tell somebody who is not yet completed their preparation to get their fiance(e) through the visa process in a high fraud country, "you'll be fine". It's not "fine". It's totally irresponsible and reckless. Let's focus on facts and preparation rather than platitudes. Of course, it's your choice but I'll exercise my "different" choice and challenge each empty platitude I see, when I think it's appropriate. Maybe you'll get tired of it.

You crack me up!

and for the record, I didn't mean.. "Tra la la, You'll be just fine!! You took my words, twisted them around to your meaning. I meant they will be fine in general. Even if the OP gets denied...they will be FINE. This isn't life or death. They have love, faith and HOPE, which is something I don't think I've EVER seen you express on these boards...not even once.

Straight talk all the you want but you will never ever make me stop having faith and being positive.

Edited June 27, 2008 by ~Laura and Nick~

[pushbrk 12,212]

Whatever

We are two completely different people and that's just fine.

Of course it's fine to be different. What is not fine is to tell somebody who is not yet completed their preparation to get their fiance(e) through the visa process in a high fraud country, "you'll be fine". It's not "fine". It's totally irresponsible and reckless. Let's focus on facts and preparation rather than platitudes. Of course, it's your choice but I'll exercise my "different" choice and challenge each empty platitude I see, when I think it's appropriate. Maybe you'll get tired of it.

You crack me up!

and for the record, I didn't mean.. "Tra la la, You'll be just fine!! You took my words, twisted them around to your meaning. I meant they will be fine in general. Even if the OP gets denied...they will be FINE. This isn't life or death. They have love, faith and HOPE, which is something I don't think I've EVER seen you express on these boards...not even once.

Straight talk all the you want but you will never ever make me stop having faith and being positive.

Not for a second would I wish for you to stop having faith and being positive. I didn't twist your words. I interpreted them literally. If you want to say, "will be fine in general. Even if the OP gets denied...they will be FINE. This isn't life or death. They have love, faith and HOPE." say it.

[rebeccajo 14]

OP...perhaps this could be something that could be best addressed in the regional forum, as people's personal experiences are sometimes useful? Please do let us all know what happens as it is always good to know the outcome of such cases.

Consular discussions should be posted in the Foreign Embassy and Consulate Forum, where all can benefit from reading the different experiences from around the world.

If members posted there, we wouldn't have people saying 'you will be fine'. They'd find another way to postively encourage the OP.

Regional Forums aren't for consular discussion, despite the fact that VJ admin lets it happen.

Edited June 27, 2008 by rebeccajo

[truffles 2]

The reason i suggested regional was that it seemed that people in there were more likely to have a personal experience - perhaps be able to add more informational value to what was given on this thread.... regional ..consular personally i think no harm in posting in both -

[ILoveTan 0]

Hi all ... the truth is, I appreciate everyone's posts and input. Everyone has their own slant and take and it's helpful to hear all opinions, that is why I post here.

I understand pushbrk, he is very very straight-forward. But I do also appreciate comments like from Laura-and-Nick because staying positive is also essential in this process. As a personal note to Kim & Russ - love you, love you, love you!

Yes, we need the facts in this journey but we also need faith and positive thinking. I am not a "religious" person in the sense of the word but I do believe in something bigger than myself. I do not think God would have brought me and Tan together (in the bizarre way we met - and it is more bizarre than I have ever posted publically) and all the circumstances surrounding our relationship that are just too strange to be anything other than true destiny. He is from Nha Trang Vietnam ... even before I ever met him, I had TWO different "psychics" tell me that I had a destiny in Nha Trang, that something in Nha Trang would change my life. 2 different people said the same thing to me, 1 of them didn't even know I had ever been to Vietnam or could even speak the language. Just another white person who said the word "Nha Trang" kept coming in her head when she looked at me, and she didn't even know where that was. Yes, I know it sounds unbelievable but it's the truth.

Yes, we have a real love together. A love like I never thought was even possible except in storybooks. I know my letter should be, just the facts, M'aam - but (at least in the past) wasn't this process supposed to be about LOVE? But now it is to my detriment if I express that I LOVE him and he LOVES me? That makes no sense. Now I have to worry if the consulate/uscis will think I am just a naive girl getting "taken" by a very skilled Vietnamese man from the countryside? Just how stupid am I? Now I have to worry that I am older than him and that I asked him to marry me? What year is this? What country is this? It's like everything America says it stands for: equality, fairness, open-mindedness is one big fabrication.

If anyone really understood Vietnamese personality (like I do) they would know that Vietnamese men are not the "kings" everyone thinks they are. Vietnamese men are actually very shy and submissive with women. They would REALLY like to be with a strong woman who takes the role of the man - they just don't have the opportunity. They become bored and resentful having to be Mr. Top Dog in their home and turn to drinking, gambling, and even violence. But when they are satisfied and happy, they are delightful men, very very respectful, gentle and overly romantic and emotional. I am not underestimating how cunning Vietnamese can be - I know they are smarter than they look. I have never been mentally intimidated by anyone but Vietnamese would be very scary if they focused that brain power of theirs. All of this, I am aware of ... I wish there was a way to express this to the consulate.

Tan is not a perfect person. He comes with a suitcase full of baggage, just like all of us. It hasn't always been easy dealing with his - he is a total emotional investment. He makes me happier than I have ever been in my life, but if I want him, it is not without a price. He wants 24/7 devotion, affection, and togetherness and he isn't real good about enduring time when that is not possible.

Anyway, I am rambling ... now you see why my letter is so long. hihihihi ... but I will try to KEEP THE FAITH. This is a real relationship and we BOTH love each other. I would bet money that Tan would live on the moon as long as I was there. I just don't see a way of giving "just the facts" to a consulate who doubts everything and will just ask me later if I don't answer it NOW. All I can do is write that letter from my heart because this situation is not a "government matter" it is a matter of the heart.

Thanks to everyone and if anyone feels compelled to weed through my 5 pager, send me a PM - would love to get your comments. hihihi

Thanks *hugs* to all

ILOVETAN

[bora bora 1]

Hi all ... the truth is, I appreciate everyone's posts and input. Everyone has their own slant and take and it's helpful to hear all opinions, that is why I post here.

I understand pushbrk, he is very very straight-forward. But I do also appreciate comments like from Laura-and-Nick because staying positive is also essential in this process. As a personal note to Kim & Russ - love you, love you, love you!

Yes, we need the facts in this journey but we also need faith and positive thinking. I am not a "religious" person in the sense of the word but I do believe in something bigger than myself. I do not think God would have brought me and Tan together (in the bizarre way we met - and it is more bizarre than I have ever posted publically) and all the circumstances surrounding our relationship that are just too strange to be anything other than true destiny. He is from Nha Trang Vietnam ... even before I ever met him, I had TWO different "psychics" tell me that I had a destiny in Nha Trang, that something in Nha Trang would change my life. 2 different people said the same thing to me, 1 of them didn't even know I had ever been to Vietnam or could even speak the language. Just another white person who said the word "Nha Trang" kept coming in her head when she looked at me, and she didn't even know where that was. Yes, I know it sounds unbelievable but it's the truth.

Yes, we have a real love together. A love like I never thought was even possible except in storybooks. I know my letter should be, just the facts, M'aam - but (at least in the past) wasn't this process supposed to be about LOVE? But now it is to my detriment if I express that I LOVE him and he LOVES me? That makes no sense. Now I have to worry if the consulate/uscis will think I am just a naive girl getting "taken" by a very skilled Vietnamese man from the countryside? Just how stupid am I? Now I have to worry that I am older than him and that I asked him to marry me? What year is this? What country is this? It's like everything America says it stands for: equality, fairness, open-mindedness is one big fabrication.

If anyone really understood Vietnamese personality (like I do) they would know that Vietnamese men are not the "kings" everyone thinks they are. Vietnamese men are actually very shy and submissive with women. They would REALLY like to be with a strong woman who takes the role of the man - they just don't have the opportunity. They become bored and resentful having to be Mr. Top Dog in their home and turn to drinking, gambling, and even violence. But when they are satisfied and happy, they are delightful men, very very respectful, gentle and overly romantic and emotional. I am not underestimating how cunning Vietnamese can be - I know they are smarter than they look. I have never been mentally intimidated by anyone but Vietnamese would be very scary if they focused that brain power of theirs. All of this, I am aware of ... I wish there was a way to express this to the consulate.

Tan is not a perfect person. He comes with a suitcase full of baggage, just like all of us. It hasn't always been easy dealing with his - he is a total emotional investment. He makes me happier than I have ever been in my life, but if I want him, it is not without a price. He wants 24/7 devotion, affection, and togetherness and he isn't real good about enduring time when that is not possible.

Anyway, I am rambling ... now you see why my letter is so long. hihihihi ... but I will try to KEEP THE FAITH. This is a real relationship and we BOTH love each other. I would bet money that Tan would live on the moon as long as I was there. I just don't see a way of giving "just the facts" to a consulate who doubts everything and will just ask me later if I don't answer it NOW. All I can do is write that letter from my heart because this situation is not a "government matter" it is a matter of the heart.

Thanks to everyone and if anyone feels compelled to weed through my 5 pager, send me a PM - would love to get your comments. hihihi

Thanks *hugs* to all

ILOVETAN

I don't know anything about the consulate in Vietnam, but five pages is a lot. I first wrote a page, and then took out all of our "lovey dovey" stuff 'til I had about a paragraph.

I don't want you to keep out anything that may help you, but if you can shorten it - the better it shsould be.

Good luck!!!