A DEMOCRAT FOR 5 MINUTES

[pepper 34]

I was traveling between West Palm Beach and Boca Raton the other day(south of Jupiter)

when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option

was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. The first vehicle

to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?" "Yes, I sure

do," I replied.

"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man. "Republican," I replied." Well, you

can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off. Another guy stopped, rolled

down the window, and asked me the same question. Again, I gave the same answer,

"Republican." The driver gave me the finger and drove off. I thought it over and

decided that maybe I should change my strategy since this area seemed to be overly

political and there appeared to be very few Republicans. The next car to stop was a red

convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a

Republican or Democrat. "Democrat!” I shouted. "Hop in!” replied the blonde.

Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next

to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that

continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs. Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the

car." She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped

out. "What's the matter?” she asked. "I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only

been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."

[Saddle Bronc 124]

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

perfect!

[Ban Hammer 14,299]

[Scott & Lai 12]

[Jack and Barbara 0]

Funny how the words Republican and Democrat can be interchanged in jokes like these and still have the same effect.

[amiquechu 0]

Funny how the words Republican and Democrat can be interchanged in jokes like these and still have the same effect.

Not really.

[HAL 9000 96]

Funny how the words Republican and Democrat can be interchanged in jokes like these and still have the same effect.

Not really.

Absolutely right. A more proper joke would involve the Republican reaching for a gun or Robin Hoods that steal from the rich and give to the poor. Something like that.

[almaty 19]

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One...to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed.

One...to attack the patriotism of anyone that says the light bulb needs to be changed.

One...to blame the Democrats for burning out the light bulb.

One...to give a billion dollar no-bid/cost-plus contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.

[Ban Hammer 14,299]

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One...to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed.

One...to attack the patriotism of anyone that says the light bulb needs to be changed.

One...to blame the Democrats for burning out the light bulb.

One...to give a billion dollar no-bid/cost-plus contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.

or how many dems...........

none......they'd claim not to have screwed the lightbulb, insisting the lightbulb screwed them!

[amiquechu 0]

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One...to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed.

One...to attack the patriotism of anyone that says the light bulb needs to be changed.

One...to blame the Democrats for burning out the light bulb.

One...to give a billion dollar no-bid/cost-plus contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.

or how many dems...........

none......they'd claim not to have screwed the lightbulb, insisting the lightbulb screwed them!

Democrats would all claim the lightbulb wasn't PC enough and protest and picket that nobody use the lightbulb.

[zqt3344 21]

I was traveling between West Palm Beach and Boca Raton the other day(south of Jupiter)

when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option

was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. The first vehicle

to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?" "Yes, I sure

do," I replied.

"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man. "Republican," I replied." Well, you

can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off. Another guy stopped, rolled

down the window, and asked me the same question. Again, I gave the same answer,

"Republican." The driver gave me the finger and drove off. I thought it over and

decided that maybe I should change my strategy since this area seemed to be overly

political and there appeared to be very few Republicans. The next car to stop was a red

convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a

Republican or Democrat. "Democrat!” I shouted. "Hop in!” replied the blonde.

Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next

to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that

continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs. Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the

car." She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped

out. "What's the matter?” she asked. "I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only

been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."

[Scott & Lai 12]

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One...to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed.

One...to attack the patriotism of anyone that says the light bulb needs to be changed.

One...to blame the Democrats for burning out the light bulb.

One...to give a billion dollar no-bid/cost-plus contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.

or how many dems...........

none......they'd claim not to have screwed the lightbulb, insisting the lightbulb screwed them!

It depends on what the meaning of the word "screwed" is...