40(funny)Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman......

[sj5 4]

1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.

always ladies first..

2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.

hmmmm i don't know.. but i may care if he is a gay..

3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.e

really wrong. i do think...

4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.

5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.

it depends but sometimes turn up the same reason [neglected]

6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.

I can't do two things at same time.. (i can't talk on phone while driving) "my husband can do more than two things at same time.

7. Women live longer than men.

i don't believed this.. my mom died at age 28. and my father still alive.

8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.

i'm not good in make up. therefore i can't cover my blemishes

9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.

too long.

10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).

i don't say anything about myself.. i let people comment about me.

11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.

i can live without chocolate

12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.

i don't mind them but i don't want any gays taking care of my hair... nooooo way..... i had experienced with gay hairdresser.

13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

no comment

14. Women know the truth about whether size matters…

of course..

15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.

i don't think so [time is gold]

16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

lol

18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

lol

20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.

i don't mind practicing now if its helpful

21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.

i don't wear lipstick.

22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.

23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper.

lol

24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.

lol

25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake.

lol

26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.

true true

27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.

of course.

28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.

29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.

30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.

i don't really know other woman... i get bored with one channel unless if its good show/movies/story..

31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.

32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.

33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk.

34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.

35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.

36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.

i feel threatened.. i can't buy gifts for him

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.

wrong.. every weekend is a new wardrobe.

38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.

i wish...

39. Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.

where is manual?

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.

i keep mine alive for almost a year already.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

What can bleed once a month and never die?

[Alex & Rachel 78]

1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.

I agree that children should be saved first, but not women over men.

2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.

In my social groups, the men hug each other equally as much as the women do.

3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

Um, actually this one is true.

4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.

But what if the toilet overflowed?

5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.

Um...I've always found men who have cheated to be forgiven far more easily than women who have cheated; the names the women get called don't exactly suggest that people are making excuses for them.

6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.

So are many, many men.

7. Women live longer than men.

Only on average! Live a healthy, stress-free life and men have every chance of living as long, plus they're probably more likely to have a better quality of life - don't have to worry so much about osteoporosis or taking a fall.

8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.

A lie! It's usually painfully obvious when a woman's covered up spots. I don't even try.

9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.

Not necessarily. Plenty of sad cases of women (usually old, admittedly) who have died and no one's noticed.

10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).

I find a lot of girls give an initial impression of being mature but really they're often just emotionally manipulative.

11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.

Okay - true! For some women, at least.

12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.

Neither do most reasonable men, at least of my generation.

13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

I swear this is a myth men perpetuate because they prefer to imagine our mines as being filled with such innocent and frivolous things as fashion.

14. Women know the truth about whether size matters…

But so, in turn, do men...if they encounter a woman who's not compatible with them in the size department they'll soon learn how important it can be.

15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.

Are all men racers?

16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.

So boyfriends and husbands are just supposed to ignore our scratchy legs in bed? What if we want to wear short sleeves?

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex.

Not if we're midway though a K1 visa and separated from our loved ones we can't.

18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Um...

19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

Sadly true.

20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.

Again, sad but sometimes true. Not a valid tactic, though.

21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.

A very shallow woman, perhaps.

22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.

23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper.

True!

24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.

...or stupid.

25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake

Heh...depends on the woman. And I have met and respected many a man who can also do this.

26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.

Bah. Only an insensitive person would think this. See a man crying at the airport and laugh at him then.

27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.

Well...sometimes hospitals make mistakes. But true. Sad, again.

28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.

Unless you're under 10, then it's cute. Then again, being a daddy's girl over the age of about 15 isn't always endearing.

29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.

I know quite a few women who'd love to gain an inch or two, although admittedly it's much tougher being a short man.

30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.

Yes and some men do change channels far too often...but it's not always the case.

31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.

So can men. It's not wrong to do a little plucking; better than having a unibrow any day!

32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.

Tell that to the men who've attempted to get me drunk. By the way, Alex gets drunk on one drink.

33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk.

Neither should a man's 'friend'.

34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.

Sometimes true.

35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.

Woo, well, some women I've seen...

36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.

Neither does a wise man.

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.

The clothes I'm wearing are five years old!

38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.

This is usually called being a manipulative ###### and it's not really something to be proud of.

39. Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.

Oh no, only wussy men read manuals?

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.

Depends on the plant

Problems with lists like these is that half the items will be backhanded compliments and the other half will be deriding the other gender at the same time, neither of which are particularly nice things to do.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Cant you laugh at yourself? Geez.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I can...when they're actually funny

[franklie 0]

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.

Does number 40 refer to a plant in a pot (a potted plant) or marijuana (a pot plant)?

curious minds want to know...

[Toshtishtash 1]

[jego ryu 0]

What can bleed once a month and never die?

[Empress of Groovy 373]

What can bleed once a month and never die?

That was popular on redneck t-shirts and trucker hats in the '80s.

I always found it confusing because I've been to a few funerals in which the deceased was female. Very confusing!

[Nessa 23]

its all lies!!

[sj5 4]

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.

Does number 40 refer to a plant in a pot (a potted plant) or marijuana (a pot plant)?

curious minds want to know...

Marijuana in a potted plant..

[SnowyTater 0]

I have definately lusted after SEVERAL cartoon characters and EVEN video game characters. My god what would the point of life be if you haven't!

Let's see:

That redhead kid from Captain Planet

Zell from Final Fantasy VIII

The Resident Evil guy with the red trench coat. Even though I've never played, I know a hottie when I see one

omg Dmitri from Fox's Anastasia movie

Um...Shrek?

Sure there's more.