40(funny)Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman......

[jego ryu 0]

40 Funny Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman

Source: funnynews

1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.

2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.

3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.

5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.

6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.

7. Women live longer than men.

8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.

9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.

10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).

11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.

12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.

13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

14. Women know the truth about whether size matters…

15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.

16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.

21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.

22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.

23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper.

24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.

25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake

26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.

27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.

28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.

29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.

30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.

31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.

32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.

33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk.

34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.

35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.

36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.

38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.

39. Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.

<script src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js" type=text/javascript>

[almaty 19]

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.

a most excellent ability

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I couldn't relate to quite a few things on this list...

I hug my male friends in public without these thoughts.

2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.

Sometimes, this holds true for me too.

11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.

I have no discomfort around gay people.

12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.

This is no problem. I can admit an error.

25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake

I have no trouble crying and I don't feel like a wimp.

26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.

Speak for yourself, my fiancée changes the channel far more often than I do.

30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.

Once again, speak for yourself!

35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.

Neither do I. If my fiancée can bring in the cash better, I'm happy for her! It's our money, who cares who earns more.

36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.

My fiancée wears her outfits until they wear out.

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.

[mawilson 2,133]

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

Oh yeah? They should meet Amber.

[Sheriff Uling 3]

MEN RULE! Yeah Baby Yeah...

[Amby 490]

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

Oh yeah? They should meet Amber.

thanks friend. it's quite true really but it's all your fault. you made me do it! evil man!

eta: you're going to get a spanking like nessa does if you're not careful

Edited April 10, 2008 by Amber&Neil

[mawilson 2,133]

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

Oh yeah? They should meet Amber.

thanks friend. it's quite true really but it's all your fault. you made me do it! evil man!

eta: you're going to get a spanking like nessa does if you're not careful

Thanks Amber!

Hey, did you hear Mags is coming up to NY as well?

[Amby 490]

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

Oh yeah? They should meet Amber.

thanks friend. it's quite true really but it's all your fault. you made me do it! evil man!

eta: you're going to get a spanking like nessa does if you're not careful

Thanks Amber!

Hey, did you hear Mags is coming up to NY as well?

fo shizzle? when? I always try to get her to meet me when I go to Indianapolis but she's always busy.

[mawilson 2,133]

fo shizzle? when? I always try to get her to meet me when I go to Indianapolis but she's always busy.

In October. Maybe she's just afraid you're going to sex her to death?

[Amby 490]

fo shizzle? when? I always try to get her to meet me when I go to Indianapolis but she's always busy.

In October. Maybe she's just afraid you're going to sex her to death?

I'm not going to sex Mags. I'm scared of her husband he is bigger than me

[mawilson 2,133]

fo shizzle? when? I always try to get her to meet me when I go to Indianapolis but she's always busy.

In October. Maybe she's just afraid you're going to sex her to death?

I'm not going to sex Mags. I'm scared of her husband he is bigger than me

Yeah, he's a big guy. Mags' type, I guess?

[Amby 490]

fo shizzle? when? I always try to get her to meet me when I go to Indianapolis but she's always busy.

In October. Maybe she's just afraid you're going to sex her to death?

I'm not going to sex Mags. I'm scared of her husband he is bigger than me

Yeah, he's a big guy. Mags' type, I guess?

I have no chance then because I'm too little. Really though you mind gutter I think the reason she doesn't have time is because she has a job and I do not have a job and I go there on odd days that most normal people work like Monday. Plus she doesn't live right in Indianapolis so it's a bit of a drive for her! You're so filthy!

[Toshtishtash 1]

I can't keep a pot plant alive for a day, let alone a week!

[Amby 490]

I had a potted plant in my bedroom when I lived in Los Angeles and it was so pretty I thought it was fake and I never watered it. Then it started to die and I realised my error when our maid yelled at me because I was killing nature.

[Amby 490]

Now that I have more time to analyze...

30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.

This is something i cannot do. PIP, channel surfing, changing on commercials, etc. I cannot stay on one channel. I get bored very easily! Really I can't even watch TV for very long because it means I have to sit still and be calm. I have too much energy.

3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

This is also something I cannot do. I picture most people naked or try to use my non-existant xray vision.

8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.

Also something I cannot do. I don't wear makeup because I feel like it makes me look like a clown. Plus I don't really have spots or blemishes and never had so I didn't need to master the technique

16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.

shave where?

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

As wilson correctly pointed out this is something I am not capable of. Good eye friend!

21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.

BOLLOCKS!!!!!! It's lies!!!

29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.

MORE LIES!!! I am so tall I would be a giant!

32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.

Very true and a reason I don't drink please refer to #3 & #17

34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.

but I know where I'm going all the time so I don't normally need directions

35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.

THANK GOD! I hate hair!

38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.

This is one of the only REALLY REALLY true ones. Please refer to #3, #17, #32 & let's throw in #35 for fun

Edited April 10, 2008 by Amber&Neil