Interview nightmares

[w.mia47 0]

Hi everyone

I just wanted to say, even though I didn't know about VJ until recently and I can't spend a lot of time online because my internet is not working at home, it is still nice to know that there are people out there who share their stories. so thanks to anyone who took the time to write about their expeirences to help others prepare.

In our case, my husband and I are now waiting for the AOS interview which we already got scheduled for the last week of April. It's interesting that some people seems to not worry about the whole AOS process too much, they just go and do the best they can. Unfortunately, our case is different because I always tend to worry too much. My husband often says that if we didn't have to go through this and I already had my papers, I would be a totally different person, more stress-free and relaxed.

We waited for the interview appointment notice anxiously, but when it finally came I started feeling very unprepared, and thinking that something will definitely go wrong. I know that a lot of people wrote here that their interview was quick and painless, but there are also bad stories out there such as this one:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/21/nyregion...amp;oref=slogin

it is a story about a girl who was sexually molested after her interview by the USCIS interviewer. Even though this is a very extreme case, I know that it all depends on our luck because some people are nicer than others. And it also depends on our luck, how we are feeling that day etc. Since I got my appointment letter two weeks ago in the mail, I had a nightmare about the interview every night! Last night, i had a dream that my passport was stolen right before the interview, so I couldnt even go.

It has been 8 years since I came to the US as a teenager on a visiting visa and since then I've been here illegally. That's why, it's hard to just have faith that everything go well. Even though our marriage is real and I trully love my husband, I keep thinking that something will happen that will make them think that our marriage is not real, such as the fact that we didn't have a church ceremony and a wedding yet.

As I count down days left till the interview, i can only try to prepare the way I can and hope for the best. But really, it's hard to imagine living in the US with a GC and legally, being able to work, apply for a drivers license etc.

Sorry for this long story--I know that few people will read it because it is sooo long!! But still, i wanted to share, it's nice to know that someone who went through a similar experience and can relate will read it. I do have one question: Do you think it is better to prepare for the interview: rehearse every possible question they might ask, so that we can prepare for answering quickly, or do you think it's better not to practice, and just bring all the documents and speak "naturally"?

I also have a 2nd question: Since we are a young couple (in our 20s) and don't own much, like we don't have a car or a house or any property, will that make the itnerviewer think we are not real? And since we didn't have a real ceremony and don't have a wedding album, i was thinking about making a scrapbook to bring for the interviewer, where I could put our pictures, letters to each other, tickets from shows we went to etc. I am not really crafty or "Romantic" type, but I could try. Is this a good idea? Or should we just bring pictures in an envelope in case they want to keep them??

That is really too loongg!! Sorry about that... But once I get going, sometimes, it's too hard to stop! Thanks to all who took the time to read this and you should all feel proud if you are going through AOS It is not an easy thing. Good luck everyone!

~Mia~

[Peter 0]

With all the iterviews i went to, I always thought about the worst possible case ( Denied / deport etc etc ) - Just try not to worry too much about it and hopefully everything will work out just fine.

[I luv my chappara 0]

FOr me, it's better to prepare and rehearse by answering sample questions before the interview... it will help you to feel at ease when you are there... don't memorize, just relax.

I dont think they will look for assets or cars, etc.. they will look if your marriage is real,,, As long as you can proved that you are legally married and have evidence.. like the marriage certificate,,, You will be fine..

Scapbook is fine also, and label them with dates and location,, eheh something like that

[motu 6]

You are worrying about the wrong things for the wrong reasons. Think about the good things about to happen for the right reasons. Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you. The sexual assault case is what - one in ten millions - if you are that paranoid - you wouldn't cross the street for fear of getting hit by a beer truck. So think of the nice latte across the street in the Starbucks and don't be afraid to cross the street. Entiende? Relax and Good Luck

[Shamrock 0]

Hi,

Like you I am going through AOS process, luckily we had the interview and it went just fine, got approved on the spot and even got the I-551 stamp on my passport due to the fact that my EAD never came. We are young as well but have our few assets under both names and utility bills and lease agreements is what the Immigration Officer looked at.

The scrapbook idea is great, not only shows your pictures but shows that you have the "love and enegy" to put a scrapbook together, it worked for us.

Take it easy and don´t be so extreme about things, there is only so much you can do, just do your best, freaking out definitely is not the way to go.

Best luck

[sj5 4]

You don't have to worry anything.

[JillianShea 0]

Hi w.mia47,

Like you and your husband my husband and I are young too (going on 19);He came here at age 12 on B2 visitor's visa and never left; We live at my parents' house and we don't have practically anything in our names. I'm sure everything will go well! We have lots and lots of pictures from forever, high school proms, sports, etc.. and that is something NO ONE can "make-up". I have the EXACT same feelings and worries that you do, just pray EVERY day and night, trust in God and everything will be just fine!

GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU!

-Jillian

[Zoly07 0]

Well, we had our interview on February 26th... And before that date I had a lot of trouble to sleep and was panicking all the time. Our case was a little complicated as for the last year we lived in different states - my wife went back to a medical school... But we are married for almost 4 years.

Even though we had a lot of proof that our relationship is not fake, I was going crazy. At some point I have found online list of possible question (some were simply insane) and I have to tell you that neither me nor my wife could answer some of them.

We know our home phone number, but I would never be able to recall none of the cell phone numbers in my phone book as I always dial them by selecting a name...

We do not have favorite colors, foods... I never new her bra size as I did not go to the store to buy it. )))...

Yet, our interview was very smooth, with no sex-related questions. And the officer did not even take a look at our photos. At the end we even asked her if she would like at least to take a quick look, which she did...

You are going to be fine! We brought so many evidence and 99% of it we did not even present. I have seen in a waiting room some couples with just one skinny folder with them too. So, don't worry.

Edited April 4, 2008 by Zoly07

[Ngoc-Anh 1]

I do not think you should be worry about anything as long as your are completely honest during your interview!

Good luck!

[pushbrk 13,695]

FOr me, it's better to prepare and rehearse by answering sample questions before the interview... it will help you to feel at ease when you are there... don't memorize, just relax.

I dont think they will look for assets or cars, etc.. they will look if your marriage is real,,, As long as you can proved that you are legally married and have evidence.. like the marriage certificate,,, You will be fine..

Scapbook is fine also, and label them with dates and location,, eheh something like that

All fraudulent marriages have genuine marriage certificates. It's the bona fides of the relationship, not the "wedding" that matter. Evidence you live together, like a lease with both names, joint bank account and utilities in both names are good as are picture in various locations with different family members on multiple dates.

[w.mia47 0]

I just wanted to say, Thank you to every one who took the time to read and reply.

It feels really heart warming that there are other people out there that understand, not because they are trained or paid to do it, but simply because they are going through a similar journey. For those of you who might be curious about an uptade about my situation, I read and thought about every suggestion everyone made to my post, and I've been trying to calm down and relax, thinking that if I worry too much, I will actually hurt my chances during the interview. First of all, I have really discovered how much I appreciate my husband. I know that we love each other, but thinking that he has to go through this whole process of helping me get my green card made me feel bad. I know he is glad that he can help me, but on top of that, I can only imagine how terrible and difficult I have been for the past several months, sinse we started thinking about filing our papers. He has to deal with all my anxiety and paranoia! For those of you who have been going through a similar experience: Do you even try to explain to people what it's like? In my case, there are actually very few people who know about what my husband and I are going through, or about the fact that I have lived in this country nearly eight years without my papers, a drivers licese, work authorization or the ability to travel. I think that this justifies, to some extent, the fact that I'm paranoid about the interview. It's still hard to believe that so much could change, that so much depends on this short interview. I could get a stamp in my pasport that will enable me to do so much: work, travel, drive, become independent, see my family in my old country. I would not have to be afraid anymore that I could get deported, that I won't be able to ever get a job, that my people will ask why I show my foreign passport to get a glass of wine instead of an ID like everyone else.

A few days ago, my husband and I were driving when we got pulled over by the Police. Immediately, I felt terror and fear. Even though this is mostly irrational and I know it, in moments like this, it is extremely difficult to overcome those feelings of panic. I started thinking "oh God, what if they ask for my documents, my immigration papers...what if they take me away?" That moment, my husband, waiting for the police officer to approach his window, grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I cannot explain what I felt that moment, but that small gesture felt like a magic touch. I felt not only loved and cared for, but protected. I felt that he is by my side and no matter what, he will stand next to me. Such love and support are stronger than immigration laws or the NYPD! If you are married to a person like me, and you are in the process of sponsoring them so that they can get their green cards and live normal lives, kudos to you! You should really be proud and get some kind of award. Here in the US, most people have no clue what it feels like to live without legal documents. Or even to be in a situation where you have to fight to get your papers. So if you know what I mean, you also know how very very difficult and stressful it is. I wonder how my situation affected my marriage, but it definitely did. If we didn't have to go through this, what kind of a couple would we be? Smarter? Stronger? or the opposite? would we be happier? I can only wonder: how has this journey changed me?

All these thoughts are running through my head. But most importantly, I need to stay calm and focused on my upcoming interview, less than three weeks away! I did not make a scrapbook like I originally planned But I did get a big binder and started working on organizing all my "evidence" in some coherent way. So, even though it is not as pretty as a scrapbook, at least I'm doing something to keep myself busy. (What else am I doing? I like to read a lot, and lately I have been learning how to cook new things B) ) I still think a scrapbook would look nice. But i just don't have the artistic talent to make one. I know that I would have glue dripping everywhere, and it would turn into a big mess. So, with my professional looking binder, at least I can keep it neat.

Thank you again everyone for taking the time to read my story and offering lots of helpful suggestions

~Mia