cigarette anyone?thorazine?lolololol

[Nessa 23]

#######? every video I try to watch says it's no longer available.

[GaryC 7]

#######? every video I try to watch says it's no longer available.

They worked here. Try double clicking the video. It takes you to YouTube itself.

[SaadBell 0]

Anybody reconginize these little red flags

Also, the psychopath can be very good at feigning love. Guggenbuhl-Craig recalls a few incidents about a psychopath who deluged his sweetheart with presents and affection. None of it was real even though the man acted like he cared for her. One of these psychopathic "romancers" later killed his partner and felt no remorse at all. The woman had merely been taken in by empty gestures. I suspect many women out there who are reading this will identify with this.

Lying is like breathing to the psychopath. When caught in a lie and challenged, they make up new lies, and don't care if they're found out. As Hare states, "Lying, deceiving, and manipulation are natural talents for psychopaths...When caught in a lie or challenged with the truth, they are seldom perplexed or embarrassed -- they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they appear to be consistent with the lie. The results are a series of contradictory statements and a thoroughly confused listener." (Hare, 46).

Despite all their outward bravado, many psychopaths who report feeling depressed often describe themselves as black holes, empty, dark, void, etc, for "disorders like depression, alcohol or drug dependence, pathological gambling, and psychosexual disturbances can accompany ASP (psychopathy) and even may have been the driving force that led the patient to seek help." (Black, 71).

Psychopaths may also sense that they are different and damaged when compared with others, which feeds further resentments.

While charming, they seem confident because of the way they brag and bolster themselves. Dr. Black states that one of the most obvious signs of psychopathy is the way the individual will brag about his experiences, no matter "how unsavory...his apparent comfort with his deviant behavior, the ease with which he discuss(es) breaking every rule, (is) consistent with ASP (psychopathy)." (Black, 68).

In sum, the experience of dealing with a psychopath can be very troubling for most people, not to mention, when he is through with you, you will be vilified falsely. I recently asked Field about what one can do when faced with this problem (Field refers to them as sociopaths) and the apparent absence of justice when it comes to their behaviour -- Field's response was: "The main lesson I have learnt is that when dealing with a sociopath, the normal rules of etiquette do not apply. You are dealing with someone who has no empathy, no conscience, no remorse, and no guilt...It is a completely different mindset. Words like 'predator' and 'evil' are often used."

Dr. William Higgins claims that you "can't negotiate or bargain with psychopaths."

On the other hand, "psychopaths sometimes verbalize remorse but then contradict themselves in words or actions." (Hare, 41). Psychopaths may apologize or show remorse only to get away with something, but in the end you will be stabbed in the back and realize how very shallow their words were. Everyone who knows a psychopath will be stabbed in the back, sooner or later.

The psychopath also appears not to be able to remember what they had said or committed to for very long. They seem to always be living in the present. That is why they are usually guilty of being big promise-makers who cannot live up to their word. Once again, it will be the victim who must deal with the aftermath of all the psychopath's twists and turns, and when he gets you angry enough, you will be discredited as "defective" by him, and the psychopath will often make himself out to be the real victim. As John Wayne Gacy once said, "I was the victim, I was cheated out of my childhood."

[morocco4ever 63]

Anybody reconginize these little red flags

Also, the psychopath can be very good at feigning love. Guggenbuhl-Craig recalls a few incidents about a psychopath who deluged his sweetheart with presents and affection. None of it was real even though the man acted like he cared for her. One of these psychopathic "romancers" later killed his partner and felt no remorse at all. The woman had merely been taken in by empty gestures. I suspect many women out there who are reading this will identify with this.

Lying is like breathing to the psychopath. When caught in a lie and challenged, they make up new lies, and don't care if they're found out. As Hare states, "Lying, deceiving, and manipulation are natural talents for psychopaths...When caught in a lie or challenged with the truth, they are seldom perplexed or embarrassed -- they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they appear to be consistent with the lie. The results are a series of contradictory statements and a thoroughly confused listener." (Hare, 46).

Despite all their outward bravado, many psychopaths who report feeling depressed often describe themselves as black holes, empty, dark, void, etc, for "disorders like depression, alcohol or drug dependence, pathological gambling, and psychosexual disturbances can accompany ASP (psychopathy) and even may have been the driving force that led the patient to seek help." (Black, 71).

Psychopaths may also sense that they are different and damaged when compared with others, which feeds further resentments.

While charming, they seem confident because of the way they brag and bolster themselves. Dr. Black states that one of the most obvious signs of psychopathy is the way the individual will brag about his experiences, no matter "how unsavory...his apparent comfort with his deviant behavior, the ease with which he discuss(es) breaking every rule, (is) consistent with ASP (psychopathy)." (Black, 68).

In sum, the experience of dealing with a psychopath can be very troubling for most people, not to mention, when he is through with you, you will be vilified falsely. I recently asked Field about what one can do when faced with this problem (Field refers to them as sociopaths) and the apparent absence of justice when it comes to their behaviour -- Field's response was: "The main lesson I have learnt is that when dealing with a sociopath, the normal rules of etiquette do not apply. You are dealing with someone who has no empathy, no conscience, no remorse, and no guilt...It is a completely different mindset. Words like 'predator' and 'evil' are often used."

Dr. William Higgins claims that you "can't negotiate or bargain with psychopaths."

On the other hand, "psychopaths sometimes verbalize remorse but then contradict themselves in words or actions." (Hare, 41). Psychopaths may apologize or show remorse only to get away with something, but in the end you will be stabbed in the back and realize how very shallow their words were. Everyone who knows a psychopath will be stabbed in the back, sooner or later.

The psychopath also appears not to be able to remember what they had said or committed to for very long. They seem to always be living in the present. That is why they are usually guilty of being big promise-makers who cannot live up to their word. Once again, it will be the victim who must deal with the aftermath of all the psychopath's twists and turns, and when he gets you angry enough, you will be discredited as "defective" by him, and the psychopath will often make himself out to be the real victim. As John Wayne Gacy once said, "I was the victim, I was cheated out of my childhood."

Ganja girl, you crack me up with these psychopath facts. You truly are an expert!

OMG, I just watched that smoking is sexy video. I don't even want to know what he/she was doing with his/her right hand at the end of the clip.....very disturbing!

[ayesha4akram 0]

Anybody reconginize these little red flags

Also, the psychopath can be very good at feigning love. Guggenbuhl-Craig recalls a few incidents about a psychopath who deluged his sweetheart with presents and affection. None of it was real even though the man acted like he cared for her. One of these psychopathic "romancers" later killed his partner and felt no remorse at all. The woman had merely been taken in by empty gestures. I suspect many women out there who are reading this will identify with this.

Lying is like breathing to the psychopath. When caught in a lie and challenged, they make up new lies, and don't care if they're found out. As Hare states, "Lying, deceiving, and manipulation are natural talents for psychopaths...When caught in a lie or challenged with the truth, they are seldom perplexed or embarrassed -- they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they appear to be consistent with the lie. The results are a series of contradictory statements and a thoroughly confused listener." (Hare, 46).

Despite all their outward bravado, many psychopaths who report feeling depressed often describe themselves as black holes, empty, dark, void, etc, for "disorders like depression, alcohol or drug dependence, pathological gambling, and psychosexual disturbances can accompany ASP (psychopathy) and even may have been the driving force that led the patient to seek help." (Black, 71).

Psychopaths may also sense that they are different and damaged when compared with others, which feeds further resentments.

While charming, they seem confident because of the way they brag and bolster themselves. Dr. Black states that one of the most obvious signs of psychopathy is the way the individual will brag about his experiences, no matter "how unsavory...his apparent comfort with his deviant behavior, the ease with which he discuss(es) breaking every rule, (is) consistent with ASP (psychopathy)." (Black, 68).

In sum, the experience of dealing with a psychopath can be very troubling for most people, not to mention, when he is through with you, you will be vilified falsely. I recently asked Field about what one can do when faced with this problem (Field refers to them as sociopaths) and the apparent absence of justice when it comes to their behaviour -- Field's response was: "The main lesson I have learnt is that when dealing with a sociopath, the normal rules of etiquette do not apply. You are dealing with someone who has no empathy, no conscience, no remorse, and no guilt...It is a completely different mindset. Words like 'predator' and 'evil' are often used."

Dr. William Higgins claims that you "can't negotiate or bargain with psychopaths."

On the other hand, "psychopaths sometimes verbalize remorse but then contradict themselves in words or actions." (Hare, 41). Psychopaths may apologize or show remorse only to get away with something, but in the end you will be stabbed in the back and realize how very shallow their words were. Everyone who knows a psychopath will be stabbed in the back, sooner or later.

The psychopath also appears not to be able to remember what they had said or committed to for very long. They seem to always be living in the present. That is why they are usually guilty of being big promise-makers who cannot live up to their word. Once again, it will be the victim who must deal with the aftermath of all the psychopath's twists and turns, and when he gets you angry enough, you will be discredited as "defective" by him, and the psychopath will often make himself out to be the real victim. As John Wayne Gacy once said, "I was the victim, I was cheated out of my childhood."

Ganja girl, you crack me up with these psychopath facts. You truly are an expert!

OMG, I just watched that smoking is sexy video. I don't even want to know what he/she was doing with his/her right hand at the end of the clip.....very disturbing!

Disturbing indeed!! I think I need to make an appointment with a therapist after watching that sexy video

[amal 4]

Wow, so many things to say about the person in which this thread is about.

I read thru SOME of the pages of the previous threads and was speechless. At the time I couldn't even begin to put how I felt into words that were decent enough to post.

I, myself, can not have any more children and would give anything to be able to have more.

Having said that, I actually think I understand what she meant when she said she regretted getting pregnant. She had afore mentioned that he had pressured her into getting pregnant. They made an agreement that they would have a baby with the knowlege that he HAD to quit smoking. Ok, so I agree its a bad thing to say BUT I think she meant that she regretted agreeing to these terms with him only to end up pregnant (her end of the deal) while he gets to have cake and eat it too (he gets a child AND continues to smoke).

NOW, having said THAT. I can totally see both sides of her fence here on the smoking issue and I'll tell both sides (as I see them). Mind you all that I may or may not actually agree with either side but I do understand both points.

Side 1: Some ppl are completely repulsed at ppl who smoke. NOW, yes, she did know he smoked before they got together...BUT... She was told that he quit and (assuming that she has never had a smoking addiction before) thought that once he quit, that would be the end of it. The fact that she feels lied to and the "agreement" they made was broken, she probably feels betrayed and let down by the person she was supposed to be able to trust, THEREFORE, regretting that she got pregnant since it was part of a "deal" (which I think is not ok to have made in the first place)

Side 2: He did quit for her. He continued to stay away from smoking until he got into the work force and everyone around him smoked. To someone who'se never had a nicotine addiction, they can't fathom why anyone would start smoking once they've quit. Well, I've done it and am still battling it to this day. He does love her (at least he says he does) and wants his family. He is just struggling very hard with this problem (which she KNEW he had prior to their relationship).

If she ever had feelings for him at all, I would think she would at least give 1 or 2 big attempts to help him combat this addiction that he tried to defeat on his own and failed. I totally disagree with the divorce option as it honestly seems like she's looking for any reason to give him the boot. It makes me angry that anyone would say that they regret getting pregnant but I can understand how someone may feel "let down" by circumstances that they thought were something other than what reality dealt them.

Whatever the outcome, I do wish them both a blessed life and hope that they can work thru this for the sake of the baby. I can't imagine telling my child that I divorced their biological father just coz he couldn't quit smoking. ...

Ok, soap box time for Amal is over

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Doesn't she have any family that could do an intervention? Something is definately wrong with what we read. Do hope she will reconsider before she does her "D-Day" thing.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Wow, so many things to say about the person in which this thread is about.

I read thru SOME of the pages of the previous threads and was speechless. At the time I couldn't even begin to put how I felt into words that were decent enough to post.

I, myself, can not have any more children and would give anything to be able to have more.

Having said that, I actually think I understand what she meant when she said she regretted getting pregnant. She had afore mentioned that he had pressured her into getting pregnant. They made an agreement that they would have a baby with the knowlege that he HAD to quit smoking. Ok, so I agree its a bad thing to say BUT I think she meant that she regretted agreeing to these terms with him only to end up pregnant (her end of the deal) while he gets to have cake and eat it too (he gets a child AND continues to smoke).

NOW, having said THAT. I can totally see both sides of her fence here on the smoking issue and I'll tell both sides (as I see them). Mind you all that I may or may not actually agree with either side but I do understand both points.

Side 1: Some ppl are completely repulsed at ppl who smoke. NOW, yes, she did know he smoked before they got together...BUT... She was told that he quit and (assuming that she has never had a smoking addiction before) thought that once he quit, that would be the end of it. The fact that she feels lied to and the "agreement" they made was broken, she probably feels betrayed and let down by the person she was supposed to be able to trust, THEREFORE, regretting that she got pregnant since it was part of a "deal" (which I think is not ok to have made in the first place)

Side 2: He did quit for her. He continued to stay away from smoking until he got into the work force and everyone around him smoked. To someone who'se never had a nicotine addiction, they can't fathom why anyone would start smoking once they've quit. Well, I've done it and am still battling it to this day. He does love her (at least he says he does) and wants his family. He is just struggling very hard with this problem (which she KNEW he had prior to their relationship).

If she ever had feelings for him at all, I would think she would at least give 1 or 2 big attempts to help him combat this addiction that he tried to defeat on his own and failed. I totally disagree with the divorce option as it honestly seems like she's looking for any reason to give him the boot. It makes me angry that anyone would say that they regret getting pregnant but I can understand how someone may feel "let down" by circumstances that they thought were something other than what reality dealt them.

Whatever the outcome, I do wish them both a blessed life and hope that they can work thru this for the sake of the baby. I can't imagine telling my child that I divorced their biological father just coz he couldn't quit smoking. ...

Ok, soap box time for Amal is over

I agree with you that I understand she felt disappointed, but it's like throwing a temper tantrum. Once you're married you should commit to being married and working through all problems together. She seemed ready to hold her breath until she got her way....which is what six months of threats of divorce is. Controlling and manipulative but not in the least bit helpful. Divorce won't stop the smoking. She won't be happy cause she probably loves him and just wants her way right away. The baby will be fatherless. He won't be happy cause he loves her. It's really a juvenile way to attempt to resolve a serious life issue.

[amal 4]

I can't say that I disagree. I think the way it is being handled is wrong but what can I do other than try to constructively help her? I wish she could see the err of her ways but it just isn't going to happen. I sincerely do wish they can work this out.

amal

[morocco4ever 63]

At first I actually sided with her. If smoking was a big issue from the start, and she let him know that, then she has every right to be upset. On the other hand why did she marry someone that was a smoker, former or current? If it was that important to her then it should have been a strong enough reason to have never started the relationship to begin with.

As for being pressured into getting pregnant? This is where I view her as weak. No one can pressure me into something I don't want to do. This also should have been a strong enough reason to never begin this relationship.

I guess my point here is that when I met my husband I knew what I did and didn't want. He fit what I was looking for, I didn't try to make him something he wasn't. Nor did he try to change who I am.

[ya falaha! 0]

I was sickened by yesterday's threads. Not about the divorce or the smoking but about the fact that this woman doesn't even really want her child. I lost my baby last week and I'm sick about it. Heartbroken doesn't even begin to cover it. For someone to not appreciate the miracle that they are given is repulsive.

BTW...I bought me a pack of ciggies last night and smoked 'em. I enjoyed myself.

[Nessa 23]

well, now it's working. Mistery.

Edited April 1, 2008 by Nessa

[amal 4]

u see, I totally see that side of it all too. I do actually agree with you.

[doodlebugg 10]

my ex husband is a psychopath. I remember one appointment with my therapist she told me that he is a psycopath and to stay the hell away from him. I married him 6 months later. Go figure. The descriptions you gave ganja girl were spot on as they say. I thought I was reading about HIM!!!

I was sickened by yesterday's threads. Not about the divorce or the smoking but about the fact that this woman doesn't even really want her child. I lost my baby last week and I'm sick about it. Heartbroken doesn't even begin to cover it. For someone to not appreciate the miracle that they are given is repulsive.

BTW...I bought me a pack of ciggies last night and smoked 'em. I enjoyed myself.

[sereia 0]

oh moody!!! *hugs* its too bad people who want a child sometimes have to go through what you did and others are so selfish when they're blessed with a healthy baby inside them!

i've already spoken plenty on this topic...but seriously... WHY marry someone you KNOW wants a baby and you KNOW you DON'T want one?!?! UHH HELLO?! If I met a guy (online I assume they met?!) who I knew smoked and wanted babies and I hated smoking and especially babies... I would not continue the relationship. She flew all the way to MOROCCO to meet the guy!

Edited April 1, 2008 by sereia