i hate surprises

[Chrissy25 0]

Well, i was changing our son when the phone rang. Couldent get there in time but it was my mum and she left a message, her and her husban are sat on a plane on there way over to see us. Now i feel annoyed, they never told us they were coming and my mother and i have a strained relationship sometimes to say the least. She always goes on about us moving back to England and a huge fight always happens. She uses guilt tactics about how she is away from our 1 year old son, but i refuse to live my life for anyone else....uhhh sorry for ranting but need some thoughts

[Mary Lou 673]

Chrissy,

Regardless if your relationship is strained or not, imo i wouldnt be too happy in the least to get a phone call telling me i was getting company in x amount of hours. I kinda see her point in wanting to see her grandchild more, but it is your life, and you can choose where to live and whats best for you. If she starts on with the guilt, i would tell her im sorry you feel this way and i know its hard for you not being able to see the baby, but at the end of the day i am happy with my choice to be here, and for the sake of everyone, rows over this get us no where, and ask her not to bring it up again. If she didnt respect my wishes id ask her to leave. But thats just me.

[franklie 0]

if you can afford it, put her up at a hotel and then you can minimize the interference from her.

[Chrissy25 0]

Chrissy,

Regardless if your relationship is strained or not, imo i wouldnt be too happy in the least to get a phone call telling me i was getting company in x amount of hours. I kinda see her point in wanting to see her grandchild more, but it is your life, and you can choose where to live and whats best for you. If she starts on with the guilt, i would tell her im sorry you feel this way and i know its hard for you not being able to see the baby, but at the end of the day i am happy with my choice to be here, and for the sake of everyone, rows over this get us no where, and ask her not to bring it up again. If she didnt respect my wishes id ask her to leave. But thats just me.

thankyou so much!!!! that is exactly how i feel.......you read my mind It gets so strained and stressful, i just don't feel they care if its short notice or not. I said to my hubby if the conversation turns that way i ask her to drop it or leave...thanks for the input

if you can afford it, put her up at a hotel and then you can minimize the interference from her.

they are staying in a hotel, they booked before they came. Interference is minimized only for as long as she knocks at our door

[Jack and Barbara 0]

you could go out of town perhaps but that would be a little harsh

I do realize that you are probably working and can't afford to go out of town and running away from problems is not the best way to deal with.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I can imagine the frustration. Perhaps that's her way of expressing her love for you...but maybe there is a tactful way to acknowledge your appreciation for that love while letting her know that way she expresses it is overbearing? Best wishes and hope you two won't end up in a big fight when she visits.

[Mary Lou 673]

Chrissy,

Regardless if your relationship is strained or not, imo i wouldnt be too happy in the least to get a phone call telling me i was getting company in x amount of hours. I kinda see her point in wanting to see her grandchild more, but it is your life, and you can choose where to live and whats best for you. If she starts on with the guilt, i would tell her im sorry you feel this way and i know its hard for you not being able to see the baby, but at the end of the day i am happy with my choice to be here, and for the sake of everyone, rows over this get us no where, and ask her not to bring it up again. If she didnt respect my wishes id ask her to leave. But thats just me.

thankyou so much!!!! that is exactly how i feel.......you read my mind It gets so strained and stressful, i just don't feel they care if its short notice or not. I said to my hubby if the conversation turns that way i ask her to drop it or leave...thanks for the input

if you can afford it, put her up at a hotel and then you can minimize the interference from her.

they are staying in a hotel, they booked before they came. Interference is minimized only for as long as she knocks at our door

Your Welcome and Good Luck!!

[Chrissy25 0]

I can imagine the frustration. Perhaps that's her way of expressing her love for you...but maybe there is a tactful way to acknowledge your appreciation for that love while letting her know that way she expresses it is overbearing? Best wishes and hope you two won't end up in a big fight when she visits.

thanks steven....i guess for the most part i just have to grin and bear it......i just refuse to get to the point of having a fight with her, especially as now we have a one yr old son and i will not argue when he is around...

[Mary Lou 673]

you could go out of town perhaps but that would be a little harsh

I do realize that you are probably working and can't afford to go out of town and running away from problems is not the best way to deal with.

[Teacher Mark 53]

I can understand your frustration, but as someone who lost his Mom in a car wreck I would advise you to make the best of it.

[Mary Lou 673]

I can imagine the frustration. Perhaps that's her way of expressing her love for you...but maybe there is a tactful way to acknowledge your appreciation for that love while letting her know that way she expresses it is overbearing? Best wishes and hope you two won't end up in a big fight when she visits.

thanks steven....i guess for the most part i just have to grin and bear it......i just refuse to get to the point of having a fight with her, especially as now we have a one yr old son and i will not argue when he is around...

I dont blame you there Chrissy. The baby doesnt need to have shouting going on around him, granted he's young but can sense somethings amiss. I just hope for your sake your mom behaves

[Chrissy25 0]

you could go out of town perhaps but that would be a little harsh

I do realize that you are probably working and can't afford to go out of town and running away from problems is not the best way to deal with.

TRUST ME...the thought for the briefest moment crossed my mind!!

[Ban Hammer 12,863]

if you can afford it, put her up at a hotel and then you can minimize the interference from her.

they are staying in a hotel, they booked before they came. Interference is minimized only for as long as she knocks at our door

well so much for my idea

[JenT 0]

So what would she have said if you had responded, "You're coming now??? I wish you would have let us know. We're leaving for vacation tomorrow." ?

[DeadPoolX 9]

If your parents are coming all this way to see their grandson, make a point of them spending most of their time with him, instead of you. This way, you'll have your parents out of your hair and you and your husband may get some "adult time" to yourselves.