How much did you know about your SO's culture before you got married?

[panamania79 2]

<eom>

Everything,we are from the same culture.

[panamania79 2]

now I'm craving indian food yum.

Some chicken Tandoori would hit the spot.

[Amby 490]

Indian food is one of the most delicious food types on this planet.

you and neil would get along so nicely. he made a chicken tikka masala or something on thursday and it still stinks in here!!!!!!!!!

[Amby 490]

I basically knew all I needed to know about England beer, curry, fish & chips.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Well, not married yet, but a LOT. I have read a handful of books and lived with my fiancée, in Russia, for a year. I wanted to learn first hand and get to know my girl in her home environment. I think this approach makes for a better understanding between a bicultural family.

[SnowyTater 2]

I knew enough about Edinburgh rocking and brown sauce and steak pies rocking and british curries and public transport and monty python and ooh, enough to where it'd be worth staying with my SO just to get at his culture

Since the time we've been together, I've learned the other stuff, like how to make fun of the English, which cities have scary yet silly little delinquents running around trying to rob you with screwdrivers/wrenches/hammers, and that the british really do eat way way way too much sugar

[bora bora 1]

I've spent a lot of time working/studying/travelling in Latin America - my BA is in Cultural Anthropology, with an emphasis on Latin America. I had wanted to spend an extended time in Brazil for years by the time I graduated from college and got a job there. When I met my husband I had been living in his city for 4 months and had learned Portuguese - so I was quite familiar with Brazilian culture by the time we met. I know even more now...

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Alot, I guess.. even more from talking to him and traveling there of course.

Quite frankly, I love it!

Lisa

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I think a better question would have been how much did you know about your SO's culture before you met?

For me that would have probably been zero. People would rather have you believe that no Germans exist 10 km above Munich, let alone on the North Sea coast. Labskaus, Jever, seals dressed in traditional Frisian clothing, bicycle culture, storm surges, Low German and its influence on people who speak High German in the region. I didn't know jack about any of it. However, by the time we were married, that had all been taken care of.

[CarolynRitesh 0]

Even though I have lived in India for almost 3 years, and definitely know a LOT more than I did before arriving, I still feel like I have a LONG way to go! I agree with others who have mentioned that living in a place for some time definitely helps in your understanding in a way that can be 'intellectually' understood by reading up, etc. but to go through the culture shock of experiencing things that challenge your mentality and values, etc. is something entirely different... As a cross cultural trainer and enthusiast, I have often annoyed him with my questions, research, reading, etc., and I am glad we have had the chance to work through several deep differences in mentality and culture, and find some common ground to share. We have both changed since we met, and we both believe we are better for it.

My confusion about certain things over the last couple of years is also an indicator for him as to what he might be in for when we move to the US. It will now be his turn to say: "Why in the heck do Americans -----?!?!"

All this talk of Indian food - I just might have to go upstairs to the cafeteria and get some dal, butter naans, chicken and gulab jamon! I will miss the cheap Indian food when we get back!

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

A percentage equal to my love for him.

[Imua 0]

<rant>

My biggest culture shock when encountering Nepali Hindu culture for the first time was how firmly entrenched the caste system is, the mentality that your religion is determined by birth and not by heart...

There are many Hindu temples in Nepal (and in India) where there is a sign posted reading 'HINDUS ONLY' - the most prominent one being Pashupatinath, a very sacred temple dedicated to Lord Shiva. In Nepal 'Hindu' is largely a racial term, not a religious one... If you are visibly 'Western', even if you are respectfully dressed, follow temple protocol and don't have a camera in sight, they will not let you into the temple, even if you have a conversion certificate which says that you are Hindu!!! Pashupatinath even has an armed guard in fatigues standing outside to keep us 'impure, beef-eating' Westerners out, though I imagine a beef-eating Pakistani not wearing any outwardly 'Muslim' dress would have no problem whatsoever!!!!! I have also occasionally heard the term 'Christian' used interchangably with 'Westerner', so the assumption is that if you are Western then you cannot be Hindu, you must be Christian since that is the 'caste' you are born into...

Imagine how humilating it is to stand on the temple steps while my husband goes inside, leaving me to guard his shoes and belt which are also considered 'impure' like his wife...

As an American growing up in the post-Civil Rights Act era raised on 'Free to be You and Me' this is very, very difficult for me to accept - the HINDUS ONLY signs remind me of WHITES ONLY signs in the Jim Crow South.... The thing that really gets me is this is a United Nations World Heritage site which practices racial discrimination and there is no public outcry. Presumably most foreigners who come to Nepal are there to see the mountains and don't really care, so nobody has complained... My father-in-law just happens to be on the Pashupatinath temple council and he has said this May he would be able to help me get into the temple so I can do puja with my husband but it is the principle which I find greatly offensive. AFAIK no other religion practices this kind of discrimination - I could enter a mosque, synagogue(even an ultra-orthodox one), church, gurudwar... even Hindu temples in America are very welcoming (because by American law they have to be) - but not in Nepal...

Like I said before I love Nepal very much but this is one cultural aspect which I have a very hard time accepting - don't know if anyone else in VJ has had this kind of experience...

</rant>

Even though I have lived in India for almost 3 years, and definitely know a LOT more than I did before arriving, I still feel like I have a LONG way to go! I agree with others who have mentioned that living in a place for some time definitely helps in your understanding in a way that can be 'intellectually' understood by reading up, etc. but to go through the culture shock of experiencing things that challenge your mentality and values, etc. is something entirely different... As a cross cultural trainer and enthusiast, I have often annoyed him with my questions, research, reading, etc., and I am glad we have had the chance to work through several deep differences in mentality and culture, and find some common ground to share. We have both changed since we met, and we both believe we are better for it.

My confusion about certain things over the last couple of years is also an indicator for him as to what he might be in for when we move to the US. It will now be his turn to say: "Why in the heck do Americans -----?!?!"

All this talk of Indian food - I just might have to go upstairs to the cafeteria and get some dal, butter naans, chicken and gulab jamon! I will miss the cheap Indian food when we get back!