Angry at Stereotypes... WHY CAN'T I LOVE AN ASIAN???????

[ILoveTan 0]

WOW. Can I just vent here for a second? For those of you who don't know me and my big mouth - I am the politically incorrect, tell it like it is Linda - the tall white woman from America. I am in love with TAN - the short asian from Vietnam. :-)

DO I HAVE TO HEAR ONE MORE PERSON TELL ME THAT A GOOD LOOKING WHITE WOMAN WOULD NEVER CHOOSE A SHORT SKINNY ASIAN MAN?!?!?!?!?!? What is the problem here???? Are asian men just off limits to white girls or are they just so physically repulsive that I would have to be cracked in the head to want one?!? NOT EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET is turned on by TALL MEN. Sheesh. God had to make ONE WOMAN that likes SHORT. It just happens to be ME. And since I am good-looking, I get hassled all the time about how much better I could do than Tan. Not to mention all this prejudice and stereotyping crapola is not only on the white side.... the viets are no better... they tell him, right in front of me (I SPEAK VIETNAMESE BUT THEY DONT ALWAYS KNOW THAT), don't take a white wife, americans only use vietnamese as slaves, are you a traitor? You are too different, you can't love each other. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

So basically, I am using him to have a slave in america (for what, exactly?!) and he is using me for a green card. OHMYGOD. He never even thought he had a chance with me, we were just friends when we met, I had a husband then. He was just intrigued because I speak vietnamese. Using me to go to a country where he knows no-one, has no friends or family???????? What will he do there, exactly?! His English is just so-so. He and I are so fed up with everyone giving us a hard time that we made up a song and sing it to each other....its a joke song about how we can't love each other, we are so different, he has yellow skin, I have white skin, he lives in the jungle, I live in L.A. !!! hahahaha I mean, really, what is so different here?!?!?!?!?!!??! He eats rice, I eat hamburgers?! GIVE ME A BREAK. Why is this so hard for everyone to accept? He even (jokingly) told me to gain weight and not wear makeup so the consulate would believe us easier since me looking too hot doesn't fit with him. ARGH!!!!! I had a hot husband previously, I was a cold fish with him. I LOVE TAN. I was crying today because I feel SO LUCKY - this true love stuff is a gift you get with one person, one time. I really believe that. You can have special relationships but your true soulmate is only 1. Well anyway, enough venting... if anyone wants to come to our Dinh Hon, we are having it in Nha Trang Vietnam in 3 more weeks....

*hugs to all*

KEEP ON LOVING

Linda

[Donna A 4]

hi linda,

good luck on ur relationship and trust me ur not the only one. it happens alot. i hear all the time how im married to "sadam", a terriost and im being used for a greencard. just ignore them and be happy.

[ILoveTan 0]

hi linda,

good luck on ur relationship and trust me ur not the only one. it happens alot. i hear all the time how im married to "sadam", a terriost and im being used for a greencard. just ignore them and be happy.

Thanks for your post. People are so narrow minded. I guess what irks me most is how if a white man marries an asian girl everyone pats him on the back and says, "asian girl, hot in bed, look young forever, thin....GOOD JOB MAN!" but when a white woman takes an asian man everyone says (or thinks), "she could do so much better, why is she settling for bottom of the totem pole?!"

The funniest thing about Tan is that he understands this dynamic exists and thinks its pretty funny. He calls asian guys, "the forgotten men". And one time in the park, I was massaging his feet and every vietnamese person was staring with their mouth agape. Tan was like, "UH Linda, first time in HISTORY that a white girl massaged the feet of a Vietnamese man, NO, REALLY." and then he started yelling in Vietnamese at me (joking but strangers didn't know), "Hurry up white girl, massage better or I am not paying you!" AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH It's worth the controversy just for his bizarre sense of humor.

So shoot me! I LOVE THE YELLOW MAN! hahaha

Linda

[Jasman0717 8]

[sara..... 371]

its ok to vent........my finance is not Asian.....but i get a lot of he is so much older than u hes looking for a visa....u do not know what ur doing make the choice of a nice boy here in the usa........after all ur latina a guy would love to be married to a hot latina........#######......is about the nicest thing i can say about that..........but people are stupid u know?

u just have to make the choice to ignore the idiots and take their words for what they are ignorance!!!!!!!

my mom taught me something very important in life......love is not about size, color, age, beauty or body type or anything other than two hearts coming together....it does not matter how it happened all that matters is the love you hold between you.........

[ILoveTan 0]

its ok to vent........my finance is not Asian.....but i get a lot of he is so much older than u hes looking for a visa....u do not know what ur doing make the choice of a nice boy here in the usa........after all ur latina a guy would love to be married to a hot latina........#######......is about the nicest thing i can say about that..........but people are stupid u know?

u just have to make the choice to ignore the idiots and take their words for what they are ignorance!!!!!!!

my mom taught me something very important in life......love is not about size, color, age, beauty or body type or anything other than two hearts coming together....it does not matter how it happened all that matters is the love you hold between you.........

Oh add that to our list of why we can't love together - I am older than him. I guess it's just everyone is trying to figure out why we are together and it is just not enough to say the truth: WE LOVE EACH OTHER. Damn. People want the truth but don't accept it when they get it. Ok, he only wants to live in America and I want a personal 5'4" asian man sex slave in America... everybody happy now??!!! SHEESH.

Linda

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

its ok to vent........my finance is not Asian.....but i get a lot of he is so much older than u hes looking for a visa....u do not know what ur doing make the choice of a nice boy here in the usa........after all ur latina a guy would love to be married to a hot latina........#######......is about the nicest thing i can say about that..........but people are stupid u know?

u just have to make the choice to ignore the idiots and take their words for what they are ignorance!!!!!!!

my mom taught me something very important in life......love is not about size, color, age, beauty or body type or anything other than two hearts coming together....it does not matter how it happened all that matters is the love you hold between you.........

Oh add that to our list of why we can't love together - I am older than him. I guess it's just everyone is trying to figure out why we are together and it is just not enough to say the truth: WE LOVE EACH OTHER. Damn. People want the truth but don't accept it when they get it. Ok, he only wants to live in America and I want a personal 5'4" asian man sex slave in America... everybody happy now??!!! SHEESH.

Linda

WHY GET SO AFFECTED WITH OTHERS SAYING TO BOTH OF U? PROBABLY THEY ARE JUST ENVY OF YOUR LOVE STORY... COZ ITS LIKE A NOVEL, VERY UNIQUE.. AND IN THE END, A HAPPY ENDING.. (L)

[ILoveTan 0]

WHY GET SO AFFECTED WITH OTHERS SAYING TO BOTH OF U? PROBABLY THEY ARE JUST ENVY OF YOUR LOVE STORY... COZ ITS LIKE A NOVEL, VERY UNIQUE.. AND IN THE END, A HAPPY ENDING.. (L)

Awwwwwwww This is the sweetest thing I have ever heard! Thank you for saying.... and you are right. I shouldn't let it get to me... it just was starting to pile up on all sides: Vietnamese telling him whites are cruel, violent and abuse vietnamese, vietnamese telling me he is using me for a green card, whites telling me asians have a small weenie and look stupid next to a hot white chick, everyone saying our cultures are too different...AHHHHHHH, just blew a fuse I think. I have been sick with a fun chest bacterial infection for about 5 days, still coughing up green stuff, now Tan is sick with it.... woohoo - so I think my patience is not at it's all time best here. This has been the best and worst trip to Vietnam. Best: TAN TAN TAN - Worst: Sick, fell and bashed my face on a metal bar, pulled the big toenail off my toe (still don't know how), bacterial infection in my chest, got $1000 stolen from my purse...... if not for Tan, I would be OUTTA HERE.

But yes, I think a lot of people are jealous.... I mean, I even had some white guys here in Vietnam come up to me on VALENTINES DAY when I was dancing at a club with Tan, all over him, kissing him, told the white guys he was my HUSBAND and they pulled me aside and asked for my phone #. I was like, "Uh, he is my HUSBAND, are you getting that?" They were like, "so what, he's asian, what's he gonna do about it?" Like I can't possibly be serious about Tan. TROI OI LA TROI OI. (OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD!) And a lot of viets do want to get out of here and are jealous of him. But Tan never planned on meeting a foreigner, never tried to, never even thought about it before... it was just fate. Jealousy and envy are UGLY emotions and really you should wish everyone the best they can get, even if you can't get it that good yourself. It's the right way to be in this life (although hard to practice).

Yes, we are like a story...how we met (I had been studying the language before I ever met Tan and was in Vietnam 3 times before ever meeting him) and I went to vietnam for the 4th time because a "just for fun" psychic reading told me I had destiny in Nha Trang Vietnam. I thought that was SO WEIRD that an american psychic tells me to go to Nha Trang Vietnam (she said the name just came into her head) when the psychic did not know anything about me, that I could speak vietnamese or that I had ever been to vietnam before....!!!!!! I only went to the psychic because I was so bored and depressed with my life I was thinking about the stuff a sock in my exhaust pipe scenario. Seriously. I knew I was about to make a ton of money with the project I had worked on for 3 years but be rich in order to do WHAT? I have been rich before... big deal? So I can buy more diamonds than my neighboor? YAWN. Money really means nothing without love.... and I thought I had love with my husband at the time but it was friendship/family love and that is NOT THE SAME. So 6 months ago, I went off to Vietnam for the 4th time and my second day in Nha Trang, there was Tan, on the beach. That was the end of the old life and the beginning of this new one that holds so much hope and promise I want to laugh and cry all at once.....

Well as always, I have talked waaaay too much. Ah, the joy of being a writer - so in the words of Tan (I just taught him this lovely and oh so handy saying): CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT THE F*** UP?!?!?!? :-) Bye for now, and thanks for your ear all...

Linda

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

WELL.....

NO MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY.....

REMEMBER THAT...

YOU ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, THATS THE END OF IT.. :luv: HERE MAYBE U MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A LOOK ON HOW I MET MY HUSBAND, I AM THE ASIAN AND HE IS THE AMERICAN ...

http://annn1883s.blogs.friendster.com/my_b..._met_my_hu.html

AND BY THE WAY, I AGREE THAT ITS FATE THAT BROUGHT YOU TOGETHER.. (L)

Edited February 22, 2008 by SHAPE OF MY HEART

[Aymerlu 3]

Go ahead a vent Linda. A lot of us women get idiotic comments about our men. I take it like a grain of salt and consider the sources the comments are coming from. Best of luck to you!

[b_weeks 6]

And one time in the park, I was massaging his feet and every vietnamese person was staring with their mouth agape. Tan was like, "UH Linda, first time in HISTORY that a white girl massaged the feet of a Vietnamese man, NO, REALLY." and then he started yelling in Vietnamese at me (joking but strangers didn't know), "Hurry up white girl, massage better or I am not paying you!" AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH It's worth the controversy just for his bizarre sense of humor.

So shoot me! I LOVE THE YELLOW MAN! hahaha

Linda

Linda, That is SOOOOO funny.... He sounds like a character. A reall crack-up. He must think fast on his feet to do that, and the timing was perfect... LOL

I wouldn't let what others say bother you. what matters most is how you feel. More power to ya!!!!

[ILoveTan 0]

And one time in the park, I was massaging his feet and every vietnamese person was staring with their mouth agape. Tan was like, "UH Linda, first time in HISTORY that a white girl massaged the feet of a Vietnamese man, NO, REALLY." and then he started yelling in Vietnamese at me (joking but strangers didn't know), "Hurry up white girl, massage better or I am not paying you!" AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH It's worth the controversy just for his bizarre sense of humor.

So shoot me! I LOVE THE YELLOW MAN! hahaha

Linda

Linda, That is SOOOOO funny.... He sounds like a character. A reall crack-up. He must think fast on his feet to do that, and the timing was perfect... LOL

I wouldn't let what others say bother you. what matters most is how you feel. More power to ya!!!!

He is so smart, it is scary - and he sounds like such a dope when he tries to speak english... it cracks me up. Everything about him is hysterical - I swear he could be a comedian (I am a comedy writer, which is why I appreciate him so much). He says the most outlandish things with perfect timing.... I am blown away. Like I was telling him how many american guys liked different sex stuff like feet or wee-wee or something and then weeks later I was complaining that my socks smelled bad and he goes, "Don't wash them, you can sell them in america to one of the foot guys for $40, right?" I almost fell off the bed. Then later he goes, "when I get to america, can I go into a film store and ask for a film on the golden shower?" MY GOD. This guy is funny in his bones. He is SO DIFFERENT than anyone, including all other vietnamese. He is so open minded. Nothing shocks him or scares him. But he is still gentle and innocent somehow - all these things out of the mouth of virgin (OK, before he met me he was!) :-D But what a special dichotomy.... so sweet, innocent and gentle but yet capable of handling and understanding concepts that even shock and offend americans! WOW. I just never thought I could meet anyone as crazy or sick minded as me and yet retained good values.... THANK YOU GOD for TAN. I am going to bed now... he just yelled from the bedroom at me: Stop writing about me, you love your yellow jungle boy too much Linda!" HAHAHAHAHAHA I don't know what I did right to deserve this man.....

Unworthy Linda

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Linda,

Like you said: KEEP ON LOVING. What other people say about you or your man is not of your biz (it's none of their biz either, but you know how people are ) Enjoy each other and if people keep poking their noses, flip'em. Best luck to you sister.

[DerekJ 0]

Hang in there, Linda! I get the jokes and wisecracks too. Being in an international relationship is a difficult thing in itself given the great distance from out loved one that most of us live without having busybodies making comments that would not be made if you were in love with someone here in the States. Not to devalue the seriousness of those who have faced negativity in their relationships but it does seem to me that the criticisms seem to be sharper/nastier if your loved one is from an Asian country. I don't get it.

[ILoveTan 0]

So I just woke up from a nightmare about the consulate denying him....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Really, I am stressing too hard. Now I know why....

I apologize if I was too dirty in my above post... nothing shocks me or bothers me when it comes to (SHHHH!) sex... I don't mean to ever sound lewd, so if I upset anyone with what I wrote, I am sorry in advance. But the POINT is that I was missing LAUGHTER in my life. I had a husband best friend brother and money has never really been an issue and I was ready to throw myself under a train. Maybe others aren't like that but I can't live without HUMOR and LAUGHTER. Tan makes me laugh, that is all I meant by my post.

On a G-rated note, he also said in english, as we passed by a KFC (they have that fast food in vietnam), "Would you like Finger Lickin' Good today?" AHAHAHAHA. Can you picture it? He doesn't speak english worth a damn but knows the weirdest things in english that are just hysterical when said in a Vietnamese accent. I was like, "where did you learn that?!?!?!" I wish I had a tape recording of the things that pop out of his mouth. Not to mention how gentle and sensitive he also is. This is a special man and he really deserves the kind of life and freedom he can have in America. I feel like I found a piece of me that was stifled and hidden in Vietnam and he loves me because I give him the chance to be himself for the first time and I love him because he is my missing piece that I longed for......

OK Linda, SHUT UP, go back to bed......

Linda