The Journey Continues

[lamaestra 0]

Hello, everyone! Happy New Year! It's been over a year since I've visited this forum. To be honest, I didn't feel like I belonged here after my fiance arrived in the US. Much of what I read here is about fiances and wives waiting for their loved ones to get here.

Well, we've been married 1.5 years now, and we've been blessed with a son. I love my husband and I have no regrets about our marriage. Still, I long to talk with other women who are married to Arabic men. They are unique specimens! Is there anyone out there who realizes we still need each other even after he gets here? Seriously, I need advice on cooking Arabic food and helping him adjust to life in the US. He's working, but he doesn't like knowing that his wife earns more than he does. At times, he gently tells me that I don't know my place and that I want to control everything.

I'd appreciate some pearls of wisdom from my sisters!

[RAKASA 0]

Hello, everyone! Happy New Year! It's been over a year since I've visited this forum. To be honest, I didn't feel like I belonged here after my fiance arrived in the US. Much of what I read here is about fiances and wives waiting for their loved ones to get here.

Well, we've been married 1.5 years now, and we've been blessed with a son. I love my husband and I have no regrets about our marriage. Still, I long to talk with other women who are married to Arabic men. They are unique specimens! Is there anyone out there who realizes we still need each other even after he gets here? Seriously, I need advice on cooking Arabic food and helping him adjust to life in the US. He's working, but he doesn't like knowing that his wife earns more than he does. At times, he gently tells me that I don't know my place and that I want to control everything.

I'd appreciate some pearls of wisdom from my sisters!

Congrats on your marriage and the birth of your son! and welcome back. I think a lot of this is something many of us go through.

As for cooking/recipes, look at the top of this forum for the pinned thread "Sultan's Kitchen" - tons of recipes there that we've all contributed to. Also, as for support, there's lots of it here. It's not just people waiting for the process of getting their spouse/fiance'/fiancee' here - there's a lot of us going through other phases (AOS, naturalization, etc) and folks who've been here for many months and years w/ lots of experience to share. Stick around for a bit and you'll likely find some good advice to all the transitions you're going through.

Good luck and again, congrats!

Noura

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Welcome back! There are many here to help with cooking. I think there are several chefs in the MENA forum. Also some of the women have their Husbands here as well. As for my situation we're still going through the process. I hope you find what you're looking for here.

Olivia

[sarah and hicham 3]

There's lots of people in this forum who already have their husbands here, like myself. Welcome back!

[Ban Hammer 12,863]

There's lots of people in this forum who already have their husbands here, like myself. Welcome back!

the few, the proud. sounds like a marine commercial

[sereia 0]

welcome back! i also have my husband here (i think a huge amount of women here do!) and we all love to chat!

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

I remember you ! Welcome back !

Yes, we're still here....

-MK

[MelindaandTarek 0]

Welcome back and happy you are here - there are so many here that do have their SOs and can offer much support and also so many here that are good at cooking (me not so much) and can help you in that regard as well.....~Melinda

[myfellah 0]

Welcome back. My husband has been here going on 3 years now. I think VJ is great but many of us still need support and friendship even after the visa journey ends. Good Luck and congratulations on the birth of your son.

Doreen

[lamaestra 0]

I remember you ! Welcome back !

Yes, we're still here....

-MK

Thanks for saying you remembered me! That made me smile.

[lamaestra 0]

Congrats on your marriage and the birth of your son! and welcome back. I think a lot of this is something many of us go through.

As for cooking/recipes, look at the top of this forum for the pinned thread "Sultan's Kitchen" - tons of recipes there that we've all contributed to. Also, as for support, there's lots of it here. It's not just people waiting for the process of getting their spouse/fiance'/fiancee' here - there's a lot of us going through other phases (AOS, naturalization, etc) and folks who've been here for many months and years w/ lots of experience to share. Stick around for a bit and you'll likely find some good advice to all the transitions you're going through.

Good luck and again, congrats!

Noura

All of you guys are really great. Thanks for referring me to the thread. I had a few minutes to skim through the pages. Time is so precious these days!

[lamaestra 0]

Welcome back. My husband has been here going on 3 years now. I think VJ is great but many of us still need support and friendship even after the visa journey ends. Good Luck and congratulations on the birth of your son.

Doreen

Tell me something ladies. I think most of the men who come here from the Middle East are Muslim. How do you deal with differences in religion- let alone culture? I'm asking those ladies who have not converted to Islam. My husband and I are both Christians and we bump heads periodically. He's Coptic Orthodox and is really into a lot of rituals/customs stemming from thousands of years ago. My denominaton is about 100 years old and Pentecostal.

When we attend the Coptic church in our area, I feel tolerated, not accepted. I know I'm an outsider. After my son was born, another woman from the church held him when he was baptised. (Did I mention two weeks earlier that the priest refused to baptise him even after my parents and siblings showed up just for the scheduled occasion? He had to be educated by his bishop . . . but that's another story.) I lost this honor because I'm not Coptic. Neither my husband nor I are permitted to take holy communion because I have not been baptised in their church. If I do decide to "join" the congregation and get baptised, we will have to be remarried in the Coptic church.

I like who I am. My husband knew who I was when he married me. I don't mind learning about the doctrine of his church in order to be sensitive to what he believes, but I don't like feeling pressured to change the very essence of who I am.

[browneyez40 0]

I like who I am. My husband knew who I was when he married me. I don't mind learning about the doctrine of his church in order to be sensitive to what he believes, but I don't like feeling pressured to change the very essence of who I am.

You need to say that ^ to your husband. My husband is Muslim and I am not. We spoke of the differences and challenges we could face before marriage. We agreed upon certain terms, for lack of a better word, and I have found that when in an uncomfortable situation regarding religion I remind him of what we decided and that makes the situation better. The problems regarding religion that come between us usually are started by others (friends, family).

Not sure if that helps.

[dreamscometrue 0]

It is great to hear from somebody who is living the life we are anxiously waiting for! Yes, I told my fiancee early that American women are "used" to getting their own way. LOL. Sounds like you are living a good life! Sure it won't ever be perfect but good. Thanks be to God. Congratulations!

[Nutty 2]

I know a little about old fashioned muslim mentality since I have a few friends who are more "tradional."

If there is one thing I know, everything depends on how you phrase your opinions or views. You can always say what you think...Present pros and cons of a situation..But then end your sentence by saying, "Dear, what do you think is best?"

I do this all the time. Even though I already have a firm opinion of what I want to do. But by saying this last thing, I defer to my husband. He appreciates this and ends by saying, "Maybe you are right dear."

It sounds like you are both still learning and seem happy enough.