Marrying young vs. the rest of VJ.

[HannahP 119]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

[MichelleandCraig 1]

To me, it should always depend on the person/couple. Some young 20somethings are far more mature than some mid 30s....you know? M.

[Mags 112]

It's up to the individuals regarding what age they marry; I certainly have no right to question their decisions. I don't know them, I don't know their situation or specific circumstances...nor is it any of my business.

[athena_ny 1]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

I was 20 when we got married, he was 22. We'd known each other about a year. It was right, we did what we wanted. My happiness is important, idiots and their comments are not.

And I've never gotten any negativity on VJ about it?

[Ban Hammer 12,899]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

quite often those who make an issue out of the couples age are out to stir things up.

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

quite often those who make an issue out of the couples age are out to stir things up.

I think they're probably just cranky old men with erectile disfunction.

My parents were married at 23 with a child. They are still happily married with a grandchild. Everyone is different.

Edited December 20, 2007 by AnewKINDofFEELIN

[Ban Hammer 12,899]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

quite often those who make an issue out of the couples age are out to stir things up.

I think they're probably just cranky old men with erectile disfunction.

My parents were married at 23 with a child. They are still happily married with a grandchild. Everyone is different.

no, in the cases i've seen it's cranky young women.

[Krikit 1,163]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

It's not okay. It's just that there are a lot of judgmental people in this world with verbal diarrhea of the mouth who feel it is their mission in life to point fingers. Don't let it bother you, Hannah. Pointing fingers just allows you to see into the mind of the person doing the finger pointing.

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

quite often those who make an issue out of the couples age are out to stir things up.

I think they're probably just cranky old men with erectile disfunction.

My parents were married at 23 with a child. They are still happily married with a grandchild. Everyone is different.

no, in the cases i've seen it's cranky young women.

Whose husband has erectile disfunction?

[Nessa 23]

I think my grandmother was like 15 when she got married and they were married til the day my grandfather died. Age doesn't have anything to do with the ability and effort to make a marriage work. Just ignore the judgmental people.

[catrocks 0]

I've got it too... not from anyone on VJ though. I'm 24, he's 27, we're newlyweds. We're happy - who cares what other people think? We've been through so much to get here (like everyone here has) that it's made us stronger anyway.

I don't let the age comments bother me. What bothers me is the "so when are you guys going to have a baby??" comments from family - give us some time, we've been apart for so long and right now we're just enjoying being together! We still have quite a few years left to have a baby or not, lol.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I've also never experienced any negativity on VJ about my age or my husband's age when we married, but then again, I never really hung around here before a year ago and by then, we had already been married two years and had a kid.

I was 21 and he was 22. We lived in a 19sqm dorm room the first 9-10 months of our marriage. Oh so many people were taking bets on the dates the divorce would be final.

quite often those who make an issue out of the couples age are out to stir things up.

Or are projecting their issues on to others.

Edited December 20, 2007 by Wacken

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

Or are projecting their issues on to others.

I think you are correct.

[Ban Hammer 12,899]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

quite often those who make an issue out of the couples age are out to stir things up.

I think they're probably just cranky old men with erectile disfunction.

My parents were married at 23 with a child. They are still happily married with a grandchild. Everyone is different.

no, in the cases i've seen it's cranky young women.

Whose husband has erectile disfunction?

or maybe he just ain't giving her any

[joelunchbox 0]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

I wasn't sure where this was going. But since I am here...

I have noting against marriage at a young age. Historically, you can find that people used to wed younger than age 14 and by all accounts many of those marriages lasted until death. Society has changed and its impact on marriage has been tremendous. One of the biggest changes is that we now have an extended childhood. Teenagers. Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents that do not adequately prepare their children for adulthood/marriage.

It is difficult to see yourself as others see you. It is difficult to figure out who to listen to. It is difficult to know if you are ready for marriage.

So, where does that leave us on this topic? Take you time, choose your counsel well and accept everything else that follows after the I Do's. Oh, some premarital counseling is a good idea.

Am I taking my own advice? Well, I waited 7 years after my divorce to remarry. I have asked trusted friends for their opinions. I am tired of the green card thing! And, on my second visit we spent hours talking about her daughter, her job, my marriage, her boyfriends, everything and anything that came up. It is scary sometimes to open up but that is how trust is built.

Oh well, good luck to everyone!