Our future, together or not. If not can She remain here

[Willallen25 7]

Honestly I am seeing that my Wife is pessimistic about her being happy or not with me. I told her She is pessimistic and certain thingsituations she doesn't know exactly what will happen in the future. She even mentions how She loves speaking in Creole. I am not fluent but She used to tell me She would help me. Now all of a sudden she regrets I am not fluent. I feel if I am fluent that would be great and make her feel better, but sometimes I'm wondering if She's someone who will continue to find something to complain about. My question is, if we do end up divorcing what can happen to us together and individually. Thanks. 

[nightingalejules 678]

Are you the immigrant or the USC? Where are you in your immigration process? It would help if you filled in your timeline. 

 

[Willallen25 7]

5 hours ago, nightingalejules said:

Are you the immigrant or the USC? Where are you in your immigration process? It would help if you filled in your timeline. 

 

I'm the USC, and our AOS Petition is with USCIS. Just waiting on everything. I will complete my timeline within the next few days. Thanks

[Ontarkie 13,917]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes from K1 P&P~~

[Mimicherie 142]

So she’s complaining because you are not fluent in creole? Did she not know this upon meeting you? I’m Haitian and so is my fiancé, although he’s taking English classes in Haiti while we wait for this K1 process, he speaks zero percent English. I was born in Haiti but came to America at a very young age (3 years old) so my creole wasn’t the best as an adult, but when I met my fiancé 3 years ago he helped me perfect my native tongue and now I speak it effortlessly and I will do the same for him with the English language. He was very patient with me and I with him. If she really loves you, this shouldn’t be an issue or something to complain about. To divorce over something so simple as a language barrier especially after this long, stressful process means her intentions weren’t good in the first place. Have a serious talk with her and find out what her real issue is because I don’t think it’s what she really says it is. 

[nightingalejules 678]

Lots of people have stress when they arrive in the US. Especially for those who are in the limbo of waiting for AOS. It isn’t that great a sign if you’re already thinking of splitting up, though. 

But assuming the AOS is successful, yes, she will be able to stay, and you will still be responsible for everything you were before as her sponsor. Divorce doesn’t cancel that.

In 2years she will still file for Removal of Conditions, with a divorce waiver, and as long as she can prove that the marriage was entered into legitimately, she will get her 10year card. (And you’ll still be her sponsor) 

[Fmert001 127]

If she loves you she should be patient with you. My husband has helped me with my Creole and I am helping with English and started taking classes. She knew before so I don’t understand what is the problem???

[Willallen25 7]

That's the thing. Before We spoke about that. I told her I wish I could speak it better. When She was in Haiti she was so loving and patient and even said She'll be my teacher. Even before our first meeting I said I could try to find a tutor for me for Creole and She said not to worry. All of a sudden now It's such a big deal. I brought up what she said and She said I don't always understand her when She speaks Creole. 

 

Also She claims that is one of 2 things She is worried about, wondering if She can deal with it because She can't make jokes in Creole, and When She's happy and having fun it's usually Creole. 

 

The 2nd thing is she claims that I don't know how to make her happy with sex. Funny thing is I did lose my virginity with her, but She did usually enjoy it when we had it. I won't get to descriptive. Lately when I try it or even kissing or hugging She doesn't accept. 

 

I  think it's where we are living that finally has taken a big enough toll on her so She's just saying things and taking it out on me. I can understand it as I'm her husband. I'm really looking for a good place for us to move to, but I'm just wondering if this is due to us in an uncomfortable situation or She is someone who will continue to look or make up things to complain and worry about. 

[Mimicherie 142]

2 hours ago, Willallen25 said:

That's the thing. Before We spoke about that. I told her I wish I could speak it better. When She was in Haiti she was so loving and patient and even said She'll be my teacher. Even before our first meeting I said I could try to find a tutor for me for Creole and She said not to worry. All of a sudden now It's such a big deal. I brought up what she said and She said I don't always understand her when She speaks Creole. 

 

Also She claims that is one of 2 things She is worried about, wondering if She can deal with it because She can't make jokes in Creole, and When She's happy and having fun it's usually Creole. 

 

The 2nd thing is she claims that I don't know how to make her happy with sex. Funny thing is I did lose my virginity with her, but She did usually enjoy it when we had it. I won't get to descriptive. Lately when I try it or even kissing or hugging She doesn't accept. 

 

I  think it's where we are living that finally has taken a big enough toll on her so She's just saying things and taking it out on me. I can understand it as I'm her husband. I'm really looking for a good place for us to move to, but I'm just wondering if this is due to us in an uncomfortable situation or She is someone who will continue to look or make up things to complain and worry about. 

Does she speak English? If so, she shouldn’t worry about you speaking creole or not, especially when you’re willing to learn and try to speak it. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but she’s being ridiculous in that sense. That like me getting upset at my fiancé because I can’t joke around with him in English 🙄.

 

As for your sexual life, there’s nothing wrong with asking what she wants. I mean if she isn’t happy with what you’re doing, she should inform you on how to please her especially with this being a new experience for you. This is a personal subject but surprise her and do something you wouldn’t normally do, catch her off guard. If she still pushes away then it’s way more than sex. She definitely has issues with how she feels about you.

 

What’s the living situation like? What was her living situation like in Haiti? Are you both living with someone? 

 

That’s surprising to me that it’s such a big issue because a lot of Haitians that first come to the US usually starts off by living with other people. Although it’s not the most comfortable situation to be in, they do what they have to do until they get on their feet. 

[Willallen25 7]

6 minutes ago, gsdc23 said:

Does she speak English? If so, she shouldn’t worry about you speaking creole or not, especially when you’re willing to learn and try to speak it. I’m sorry if this sounds rude but she’s being ridiculous in that sense. That like me getting upset at my fiancé because I can’t joke around with him in English 🙄.

 

As for your sexual life, there’s nothing wrong with asking what she wants. I mean if she isn’t happy with what you’re doing, she should inform you on how to please her especially with this being a new experience for you. This is a personal subject but surprise her and do something you wouldn’t normally do, catch her off guard. If she still pushes away then it’s way more than sex. She definitely has issues with how she feels about you.

 

What’s the living situation like? What was her living situation like in Haiti? Are you both living with someone? 

 

That’s surprising to me that it’s such a big issue because a lot of Haitians that first come to the US usually starts off by living with other people. Although it’s not the most comfortable situation to be in, they do what they have to do until they get on their feet. 

You are 100% right and that's how I felt. It's ridiculous for sure. I feel love conquers all and it should override something as petty as this. 

 

The problem with her is She's not so descriptive especially when She was complaining during her time here. I asked and got nothing. When she was happy She enjoyed it and even showed me things. Now it's vague complaints. I think surprising her is a great idea. Something spontaneous should do the trick hopefully. 

 

My parents and brother also live there. We brought the House, and We moved in 1 month before Rachel and I first spoke. Honestly we do have a lot of stuff, and my Mom wanted too many things. It isn't comfortable at all. To me since She always was Independent and growing up with a single Mom, it's not comfortable for her. I think having our own space would help a great deal. I think She understands the situation, but just dealing with everything for this long is starting to get to her. 

 

To me I still feel She'll be fine, and that She's someone who can try to look for negative things to bring up if She's not happy or comfortable anywhere. Time will tell. 

[NikLR 13,220]

I suggest marriage counselling.  I do not see how you yet have an immigration issue unless you are wanting to divorce or separate?

Edited January 16, 2018 by NikLR