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maxim #11... "stupid ex-wives"

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Hank_ Grand Master

Hank_   9,173

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With firearms everywhere ;), firearms safety was a "first" on the list. Now if the .22 shortage was a memory we would be out having more fun plinking.

Hank

"Chance Favors The Prepared Mind"

 

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“LET’S GO BRANDON!”

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SweetOpossum
SweetOpossum

Hello!! I suggest you have an honest talk with her and hear her concerns, It is normal that she will feel insecure about your intelligent wife who you obviously still admire and respect. Be honest ab

bookworm123
bookworm123

Hi!Filipina here,hubby has 3 ex wives and we are living in his and 2nd wife's house( without the ex of course haha),in their bedroom and I dont care.haha Past is past and if i let that affect me,it wo

Emanettes Explorer

Emanettes   11

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My fiancé just sent me a photo montage and in the corner of it was a generic list called, '15 ways to keep a good relationship'

I read them all, then tripped over maxim #11, "Don't talk about your stupid ex-wife". :o ....Question #11 seems more filipina than generic... :yes:

Well, in two weeks she will be moving into my house that my ex-wife and I designed and built. She and my (intelligent) ex-wife will inevitably meet at family gatherings at my daughters house, as my 'ex' is my granddaughter's step-mother.

My fiancé knows I am respectfully friendly with my 'ex', as I told her family gatherings need to be stress free for everyone sake. She agreed at the logic, but the enthusiasm wasn't there... :whistle:

I've always been good at sorting things out, but I smell potential trouble here.

Any one have some 'pearls of wisdom' on this subject ?

Thanks, Rob187

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Emanettes Explorer

Emanettes   11

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I agree with you, it is more filipina.

I don't know if other pinays will agree with me, but this is my opinion. Some pinays will ask about exes and somehow use it against you. They will bring up the past to fight you. Many of us are "selosa", and it does not mean we dont trust you, it is our way saying, "you are mine".

I do not know your fiancee, but I will share this because I am pinay. I say I am fine with the ex, it is okay to talk with the ex, I am okay with living in the house with some traces of the ex's memories, but in reality.....NO!!!!!!

It may take a long time to accept it, but will not promise we can accept it. :)

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clairegie Proficient

clairegie   265

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its normal to be somewhat concerned and jealous of your history with your ex plus the fact that you had a daughter together. just continue assuring her that you are faithful and that she has nothing to worry about. keep her in the loop if you talk to your ex wife so she never feels you are hiding something.

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waka1 Enthusiast

waka1   28

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I agree with you, it is more filipina.

I don't know if other pinays will agree with me, but this is my opinion. Some pinays will ask about exes and somehow use it against you. They will bring up the past to fight you. Many of us are "selosa", and it does not mean we dont trust you, it is our way saying, "you are mine".

I do not know your fiancee, but I will share this because I am pinay. I say I am fine with the ex, it is okay to talk with the ex, I am okay with living in the house with some traces of the ex's memories, but in reality.....NO!!!!!!

It may take a long time to accept it, but will not promise we can accept it. :)

I can see I'm just scratching the surface of 'what lies beneath' a filipina's psyche and the fate that awaits me.

I did have the good sense to visit her father's grave who was a powerful Cebuano mananambal in Cagayan and ask his blessing for the marriage. He seemed ok with it :)

I appreciate your honesty :star:

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waka1 Enthusiast

waka1   28

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its normal to be somewhat concerned and jealous of your history with your ex plus the fact that you had a daughter together. just continue assuring her that you are faithful and that she has nothing to worry about. keep her in the loop if you talk to your ex wife so she never feels you are hiding something.

Good advice, can do ! :yes:

Forgot to mention I have two ex-wife's...double trouble :blink:

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CowBoE Proficient

CowBoE   429

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This thread is so entertaining. :lol:

Rob197,

I think you've gotta a great sense of humor and I think you'll somehow (?)

manage all 4 women (1 daughter, 2 ex. and 1 wife) in your life well. :dance:

I don't think you need any advice...besides...my daughter once advised me...

Dad...guys can't never understand women, because we women change our mind all the time. :bonk:

10-04-2013 We met online
11-21-2013 We met in person in Shanghai for 2 weeks

12-13-2013 I-129F packet sent via express

12-19-2013 USCIS NOA #1 (text and email) received

12-24-2013 USCIS assigns Alien Registration Number
12-31-2013 USCIS NOA #1 hard copy received
06-02-2014 USCIS web site shows NOA #2 approval
06-06-2014 USCIS web site shows case sent to NVC

06-xx-2014 Fiancee acquired birth, marriage, and police certificates from local police station (wrong)

06-16-2014 NVC creates case with GUZ### number

06-19-2014 NVC sends case sent to Guangzhou, China
06-24-2014 Received packet 3 express mail from embassy
06-25-2014 Completed DS-160 and paid K1 visa fee

06-26-2014 Mailed packet 3 response back to Embassy

06-26-2014 Requested police certificate from Russian embassy

07-08-2014 Received packet 4 email from Embassy

07-17-2014 Picked up Russian police certificate

07-25-2014 Fiancee medical exam (received MMR & Varicella, but they missed required TD shot)

07-31-2014 Picked up medical exam reports

08-01-2014 Request (correct) birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service (GongZhengChu)

08-06-2014 Picked up birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service

08-14-2014 Passed Interview Guangzhou embassy

09-01-2014 Received passport, visa, & sealed envelope

09-13-2014 POE

09-17-2014 Went to CBP office to get (US entry) I-94 updated correctly

09-18-2014 Applied for Social Security Card
09-19-2014 Applied for Marriage License (via online)
09-25-2014 Received Social Security Card
09-30-2014 Picked up Marriage License
10-09-2014 Marriage by Justice of Peace
10-09-2014 Got Certified Marriage Certificate Copies
10-17-2014 Received a letter from SS office that they need the marriage license
10-09-2014 Applied to change the social security card name
10-24-2014 Went back to SS office to provide the marriage certificate documents again!!!
12-09-2014 Submitted AOS, EAD, and AP
12-16-2014 Received 16 emails and 16 text NOA messages
01-05-2015 Received Biometrics appointment letter for (01-12-2015)
01-12-2015 Had Biometrics (fingerprint & picture) - Required Marriage Certificate!!!
02-17-2015 EAD and AP is approved
02-23-2015 Received AP is approval letter
02-25-2015 Received EAD/AP combo card (expires 02/16/2016)
02-27-2015 Applied for SS card name change (they took her SS card)
02-27-2015 Driver's learner permit test was denied since the SS card was given to SS office for name change
03-17-2015 Received SS card with married name
03-17-2015 Started to change all her accounts to married name
03-23-2015 Received potential interview waiver letter
03-27-2015 DMV rejects learner's permit due to "legal status=pending" and vision test failure
04-05-2015 Vision test for learner's permit
04-06-2015 DPS sent us letter that DHS cleared my wife's status to acquire driver's license.
04-10-2015 Passed Driver Learner's Permit
04-22-2015 Received Driver Learner's Permit ID card (expires 02/16/2016)
08-27-2015 Green Card approved
08-31-2015 Received Green Card "Welcome Notice Was Mailed" letter
09-05-2015 Received Green card
10-26-2015 Passed Driver's License Road Test (on 3rd attempt)
11-03-2015 Received Driver's License (expires 02/16/2022)
11-06-2015 Applied to remove conditional work remark on SS card
11-23-2015 Received updated Social Security Card.
- - - - - - - - - - Pending Future Processing - - - - - - - - - -
05-27-2017 File 10 Year Green Card
08-27-2017 2 Year Green Card Expires
05-27-2018 File USC

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bookworm123 Collaborator

bookworm123   7

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Hi!Filipina here,hubby has 3 ex wives and we are living in his and 2nd wife's house( without the ex of course haha),in their bedroom and I dont care.haha Past is past and if i let that affect me,it wouldnt do me any good. The jealousy in my side ended when we met the first time (i know some men collect then select,and hubby and i talked about it) after about 10 months of chatting.I used to be a very jealous pinay and can be a stalker at times but not anymore.Assurance is indeed the key and actions speak louder than words and i know this will be hubby's last marriage lol.We are very honest and we talk about anything and everything even about our exes and what went wrong yadi yada.Communication is the key! :)

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--------------------------------------------

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September 4,2014-received ssc

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---------------------------------------------------------

REMOVAL OF CONDITIONS

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CowBoE Proficient

CowBoE   429

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Hi!Filipina here,hubby has 3 ex wives and we are living in his and 2nd wife's house( without the ex of course haha),in their bedroom and I dont care.haha Past is past and if i let that affect me,it wouldnt do me any good. The jealousy in my side ended when we met the first time (i know some men collect then select,and hubby and i talked about it) after about 10 months of chatting.I used to be a very jealous pinay and can be a stalker at times but not anymore.Assurance is indeed the key and actions speak louder than words and i know this will be hubby's last marriage lol.We are very honest and we talk about anything and everything even about our exes and what went wrong yadi yada.Communication is the key! :)

Confident lady with wisdom! :thumbs:

10-04-2013 We met online
11-21-2013 We met in person in Shanghai for 2 weeks

12-13-2013 I-129F packet sent via express

12-19-2013 USCIS NOA #1 (text and email) received

12-24-2013 USCIS assigns Alien Registration Number
12-31-2013 USCIS NOA #1 hard copy received
06-02-2014 USCIS web site shows NOA #2 approval
06-06-2014 USCIS web site shows case sent to NVC

06-xx-2014 Fiancee acquired birth, marriage, and police certificates from local police station (wrong)

06-16-2014 NVC creates case with GUZ### number

06-19-2014 NVC sends case sent to Guangzhou, China
06-24-2014 Received packet 3 express mail from embassy
06-25-2014 Completed DS-160 and paid K1 visa fee

06-26-2014 Mailed packet 3 response back to Embassy

06-26-2014 Requested police certificate from Russian embassy

07-08-2014 Received packet 4 email from Embassy

07-17-2014 Picked up Russian police certificate

07-25-2014 Fiancee medical exam (received MMR & Varicella, but they missed required TD shot)

07-31-2014 Picked up medical exam reports

08-01-2014 Request (correct) birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service (GongZhengChu)

08-06-2014 Picked up birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service

08-14-2014 Passed Interview Guangzhou embassy

09-01-2014 Received passport, visa, & sealed envelope

09-13-2014 POE

09-17-2014 Went to CBP office to get (US entry) I-94 updated correctly

09-18-2014 Applied for Social Security Card
09-19-2014 Applied for Marriage License (via online)
09-25-2014 Received Social Security Card
09-30-2014 Picked up Marriage License
10-09-2014 Marriage by Justice of Peace
10-09-2014 Got Certified Marriage Certificate Copies
10-17-2014 Received a letter from SS office that they need the marriage license
10-09-2014 Applied to change the social security card name
10-24-2014 Went back to SS office to provide the marriage certificate documents again!!!
12-09-2014 Submitted AOS, EAD, and AP
12-16-2014 Received 16 emails and 16 text NOA messages
01-05-2015 Received Biometrics appointment letter for (01-12-2015)
01-12-2015 Had Biometrics (fingerprint & picture) - Required Marriage Certificate!!!
02-17-2015 EAD and AP is approved
02-23-2015 Received AP is approval letter
02-25-2015 Received EAD/AP combo card (expires 02/16/2016)
02-27-2015 Applied for SS card name change (they took her SS card)
02-27-2015 Driver's learner permit test was denied since the SS card was given to SS office for name change
03-17-2015 Received SS card with married name
03-17-2015 Started to change all her accounts to married name
03-23-2015 Received potential interview waiver letter
03-27-2015 DMV rejects learner's permit due to "legal status=pending" and vision test failure
04-05-2015 Vision test for learner's permit
04-06-2015 DPS sent us letter that DHS cleared my wife's status to acquire driver's license.
04-10-2015 Passed Driver Learner's Permit
04-22-2015 Received Driver Learner's Permit ID card (expires 02/16/2016)
08-27-2015 Green Card approved
08-31-2015 Received Green Card "Welcome Notice Was Mailed" letter
09-05-2015 Received Green card
10-26-2015 Passed Driver's License Road Test (on 3rd attempt)
11-03-2015 Received Driver's License (expires 02/16/2022)
11-06-2015 Applied to remove conditional work remark on SS card
11-23-2015 Received updated Social Security Card.
- - - - - - - - - - Pending Future Processing - - - - - - - - - -
05-27-2017 File 10 Year Green Card
08-27-2017 2 Year Green Card Expires
05-27-2018 File USC

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waka1 Enthusiast

waka1   28

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Hi!Filipina here,hubby has 3 ex wives and we are living in his and 2nd wife's house( without the ex of course haha),in their bedroom and I dont care.haha Past is past and if i let that affect me,it wouldnt do me any good. The jealousy in my side ended when we met the first time (i know some men collect then select,and hubby and i talked about it) after about 10 months of chatting.I used to be a very jealous pinay and can be a stalker at times but not anymore.Assurance is indeed the key and actions speak louder than words and i know this will be hubby's last marriage lol.We are very honest and we talk about anything and everything even about our exes and what went wrong yadi yada.Communication is the key! :)

Filipina, I can assure you that your husband is a very lucky guy, I very much doubt there be a 4th ex... ;)

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waka1 Enthusiast

waka1   28

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This thread is so entertaining. :lol:

Rob197,

I think you've gotta a great sense of humor and I think you'll somehow (?)

manage all 4 women (1 daughter, 2 ex. and 1 wife) in your life well. :dance:

I don't think you need any advice...besides...my daughter once advised me...

Dad...guys can't never understand women, because we women change our mind all the time. :bonk:

Well, I grew up 8 females in my house, so I have a few neurons of knowledge on the subject, admittedly a very few :blink:

My biggest trauma was trying to get into the bathroom... the upside of it was me getting closer to Mother Nature, I always had rosy 'cheeks' in the winter... :yes:

As far as entertainment value, I did a lot of stand-up comedy in Catholic elementary school facing the back wall :wacko:

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