livindadream

Speaking from someone who has been in this situation .....just cut your losses and move on. Dwelling on whether or not he can stay or not stay...remove conditions, not remove conditions...its all just a waste of time and energy. Look at it as being no different than any other break-up, as in, if it were a guy from the States that left you. Report that you are no longer with him, that he has left the home...just to put it on record somewhere, and close the book. I would hope you value yourself more than to accept a man that will tell you he'll call you when he wants to come back. I'm 99 percent sure he wont be going on public benefits...the same person who advised him how to leave, has already probably found him work. Besides, he wont be able to afford sending money home to his family if he's only living on welfare. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the whole "sex and affection" thing. I don't know how long you spent in Nigeria when you met him, but their PDA is not the same as most Americans. And like another poster said, if you are nagging him about not having "enough" sex, it could have been a turn off. Think about all the paperwork, checking statuses, wondering, worrying and time spent trying to get the Visa for him to come to the States....do you really want to spend MORE of this trying to get him sent back? Take comfort in knowing what comes around, goes around. I personally know of someone who left their USC wife, then went and married a woman from Nigeria (big surprise)...he was about 20 years older than her, she came to the States as his wife, he put her in Nursing school and thought he had a lovely young Nigerian wife who would be a nurse but it didn't take more than a year for her to start creeping around with a guy her own age in her class! I know this because the guy in her class was my friend She was crying to my friend about the husbands age, his demands, etc. and asking him how she could leave him without jeopardizing her status in the States. This was the same thing her "husband" did to the USC. If your husband truly used you for a GC then as my husband would say, "he'll be paid in the same coin that he spent".

Speaking from someone who has been in this situation .....just cut your losses and move on. Dwelling on whether or not he can stay or not stay...remove conditions, not remove conditions...its all just a waste of time and energy. Look at it as being no different than any other break-up, as in, if it were a guy from the States that left you. Report that you are no longer with him, that he has left the home...just to put it on record somewhere, and close the book. I would hope you value yourself more than to accept a man that will tell you he'll call you when he wants to come back. I'm 99 percent sure he wont be going on public benefits...the same person who advised him how to leave, has already probably found him work. Besides, he wont be able to afford sending money home to his family if he's only living on welfare. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the whole "sex and affection" thing. I don't know how long you spent in Nigeria when you met him, but their PDA is not the same as most Americans. And like another poster said, if you are nagging him about not having "enough" sex, it could have been a turn off. Think about all the paperwork, checking statuses, wondering, worrying and time spent trying to get the Visa for him to come to the States....do you really want to spend MORE of this trying to get him sent back? Take comfort in knowing what comes around, goes around. I personally know of someone who left their USC wife, then went and married a woman from Nigeria (big surprise)...he was about 20 years older than her, she came to the States as his wife, he put her in Nursing school and thought he had a lovely young Nigerian wife who would be a nurse but it didn't take more than a year for her to start creeping around with a guy her own age in her class! I know this because the guy in her class was my friend She was crying to my friend about the husbands age, his demands, etc. and asking him how she could leave him without jeopardizing her status in the States. This was the same thing her "husband" did to the USC. If your husband truly used you for a GC then as my husband would say, "he'll be paid in the same coin that he spent".

Call me crazy, but I think you are making a big mistake by airing your intentions on a public forum, with your names and pictures attached. If you are not wise enough to see that being this open about the possibility of perjuring yourself here is a bad idea...then you probably aren't going to be able to successfully pull off this ridiculous scheme of "let me bring this man to the States (because I feel bad for him) and then let him run loose and I'll say it just didn't work out". I know you feel bad for the man, but if he's not someone you LOVE enough to marry, then don't commit fraud to bring him to the States as your fiancé.

On the I-129F form, written in part 4 under
Your Certification
I certify that I am legally able to and intend to marry my alien fiance within 90 days of his
or her arrival in the United States. I certify, under penalty of perjury under the laws of the
United States of America, that the foregoing is true and correct.
Furthermore, I authorize the release of any information from my records that USCIS
needs to determine eligibility for the benefit that I am seeking.
She is not intending to marry. She said so. Therefore his eligibility is no longer valid. This is not a "coming here for 90 days visa" to
check out what's next because she said she has no intend to marry. That train left the station along with her intent.
No, marrying with doubt is not fraud but intending to not marry at all is and that is the problem and that fact has been
established by the OP. There are no wedding plans.
If the USCIS and border patrol would know she no longer intends to marry him, he would not be allowed to enter because it is not a
"lets see what happens kind of visa." If people do it then it's on them but just because many do it does not make it legal and right.
The fine line in the OP's writing is that some interpret it as her doubting that she may and may not want to marry but to me
it's pretty clear that she doesn't because she said it was over in August and marrying will not happen. It seems clear to me
that she thinks having gone this far, why not go all the way with the immigration and he can do whatever when he gets here and
there is no relationship nor will there be one.
OP has disappeared from the thread so we may not get clarification on her intent after giving her our perspectives.

This isn't about misgivings or cold feet or last minute doubts. This is about her continuing to bring him to the US knowing she has no intention to marry him, and knowing that he will stay illegally after he's out of status.

Call me crazy, but I think you are making a big mistake by airing your intentions on a public forum, with your names and pictures attached. If you are not wise enough to see that being this open about the possibility of perjuring yourself here is a bad idea...then you probably aren't going to be able to successfully pull off this ridiculous scheme of "let me bring this man to the States (because I feel bad for him) and then let him run loose and I'll say it just didn't work out". I know you feel bad for the man, but if he's not someone you LOVE enough to marry, then don't commit fraud to bring him to the States as your fiancé.

Call me crazy, but I think you are making a big mistake by airing your intentions on a public forum, with your names and pictures attached. If you are not wise enough to see that being this open about the possibility of perjuring yourself here is a bad idea...then you probably aren't going to be able to successfully pull off this ridiculous scheme of "let me bring this man to the States (because I feel bad for him) and then let him run loose and I'll say it just didn't work out". I know you feel bad for the man, but if he's not someone you LOVE enough to marry, then don't commit fraud to bring him to the States as your fiancé.

I really dont want to offend u and im sorry... But i believe that all this time u applied for k1 visa another really happy and super in love couple lost time... Cause u had sent ur papers too....
U.. And not only u, go through this long process and at the end they just break up! Just because!!!

Not a difficult decision if you consider the pros and cons...
Bring him to the United States and don't marry him.
Pro. 1.
Con. 1.you could be legally responsible for him. (not sure)
2. it is illegal (agains the law)
3. you use the time of uscis that could be used for aother couple.
4. emotional problem now at your back door.
5. possible red flag in any future dealing with uscis.
6. possibly being manipulated

For the life of me I do not understand when people put more emphasis on the Visa process than the relationship
You said you stopped everything now you have mixed feeling (trust me I soooooooooooooo know how you feel). But please than put the Visa journey on the back burner and focus on your relationship, communication and see if there's still something there. Where there is love there's hope.
But DO NOT be manipulated into bringing someone here when you aren't even sure if he is the one. You need to do some serious soul searching and back up and see with some clear eyes.

The difference is that others still have the intent to marry AFTER the beneficiary arrives, the couple lives together under
one roof and the petitioner after a month or two says oh hell no and calls it off for whatever reason. That is not fraud.
The key word is AFTER and INTENT. You know you no longer intent to marry him because he lied to you about something and therefore
it becomes fraud to "help" him come here anyway without INTENT to marry him.
The intent died along with the relationship and with the commitment to marry. No intent = fraud. Yes you can be penalized.
I hope I answered your question and you understand the difference.

Lady do you know the quote " Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". What part of the "fool" you didn't understand yet?

You will not have much of a problem; but, your actions in allowing the opportunity to travel into the US even when you know well you will not marry this person is what causes APs and long waits for others. If he does travel, knowing that you are not marrying him, he is lying at the POE, if that is not fraud....and you are an accomplice in that.
Up to you and your conscience.

Call me crazy, but I think you are making a big mistake by airing your intentions on a public forum, with your names and pictures attached. If you are not wise enough to see that being this open about the possibility of perjuring yourself here is a bad idea...then you probably aren't going to be able to successfully pull off this ridiculous scheme of "let me bring this man to the States (because I feel bad for him) and then let him run loose and I'll say it just didn't work out". I know you feel bad for the man, but if he's not someone you LOVE enough to marry, then don't commit fraud to bring him to the States as your fiancé.

Call me crazy, but I think you are making a big mistake by airing your intentions on a public forum, with your names and pictures attached. If you are not wise enough to see that being this open about the possibility of perjuring yourself here is a bad idea...then you probably aren't going to be able to successfully pull off this ridiculous scheme of "let me bring this man to the States (because I feel bad for him) and then let him run loose and I'll say it just didn't work out". I know you feel bad for the man, but if he's not someone you LOVE enough to marry, then don't commit fraud to bring him to the States as your fiancé.

Smh..she's even bragging about it. From posts I've read it seems as though it is a very common fraud tactic amongst many people from the Philippines/Vietnam/China. Especially the part where they ask you to divorce them and marry a relative of them to come over also..or they threaten to divorce you if you don't file for a relative of there's to come over. Sorry about that mate..but I think you should start gathering evidence..I would personally use hidden cams listening devices around the house and do as much as I can to gather evidence of her implying she wants to commit visa fraud and afterwards give it to immigration after we divorce so they can haul her behind back home.

Furthermore, when you bring someone to the States on a K1, you're telling USCIS that you are willing, ready and able to marry this person. That you are sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the person you have every intention of marrying. So who is the fraud when you back out two weeks after his arrival??? K1's are not supposed to be used to bring someone to the States, to get to know them better and then decide if they are marrying material. I'm sure spending 90 days abroad getting to know someone is more expensive than staying in your own country (as she said, she had to pay for everything) but a K1 is not supposed to be a ticket awarded for a discounted means of being together trying to know if you're compatible or not. This is all nonsense and crazy how so many people are failing to see the real victim here.

I just cant believe the excuses and justifications. I'm the USC married to my Nigerian husband and we've been living together for nearly 5 years here in Ghana. I go back and forth from the States to Ghana at least 3 times a year, staying no less than 3 months at a time in Ghana. I did plenty of research before ever stepping foot here and even now in year 5, I still experience culture shock. A day doesn't go by that I don't look around and wonder where the heck am I again? At times I'm grouchy from being homesick, I'm clingy to my husband because he's all I have here, I'm discouraged at the lack of things I'm able to do here without being a Ghanaian citizen, etc. So just imagine what this guy, whose been in the States all of two weeks is going through. If there is real love that brought you two together, then you should be figuring out how to overcome his issues and make your relationship work. If his brother can afford a ticket for him to come to CA, maybe the brother should buy a ticket and come visit the two of you and try to help him adjust to life in the States. At this point I'm just angered that the time it took someone to process your petition and for someone to interview your husband, could've been time used on a petition that belonged to two people who really know what they want.

You should have gotten to know him better before bringing him to the US, Im sorry to say, but it's true. Truthfully, you're not the victim here...he is. Unless, there is abuse or cheating or any other thing you're not telling us. But from what I can see, you brought him here....he gave up whatever he had going for himself in Morocco, left a familiar place full of family and friends...and now you're saying that you made a mistake and you don't want to marry him. You don't need to do anything, you've already done it...you gave him grounds for that VAWA stuff. A lot of men and women use it as a tool for staying in the country by making up lies that the spouse/fiancé kicked them out, wont adjust the status, etc. In this case...it would be totally valid if he went that route. I'm sorry your relationship was not all it seemed, but seeing someone face to face for 8 days and then deciding he's the person you will spend the rest of your life with is ridiculous in itself. Go to USCIS office, put in writing what your situation is so that they will document it, and move on with your life...do yourself a favor and dont' go meeting anyone else abroad and dragging them into this sort of indecisiveness. Thank God the person you brought to the States has somewhere else to go..imagine if he had nobody there when you came to your conclusion of not wanting him anymore.

If the man was presumed dead by going missing in the Philippines I would think it could be a little harder to go about getting to the bottom of it..but if he was a USC living in the States at the time of his disappearance, I would think there would be some sort of missing report, news story, something. If your wife was going through any sort of immigration process with the man, his info has to be on file somewhere. I know this is not answering your question, but maybe the answer to what you're looking for is tracking this man down and getting something in writing from the States. The internet is a wealth of information and it's not easy for people to just disappear. Good luck with everything,

I just cant believe the excuses and justifications. I'm the USC married to my Nigerian husband and we've been living together for nearly 5 years here in Ghana. I go back and forth from the States to Ghana at least 3 times a year, staying no less than 3 months at a time in Ghana. I did plenty of research before ever stepping foot here and even now in year 5, I still experience culture shock. A day doesn't go by that I don't look around and wonder where the heck am I again? At times I'm grouchy from being homesick, I'm clingy to my husband because he's all I have here, I'm discouraged at the lack of things I'm able to do here without being a Ghanaian citizen, etc. So just imagine what this guy, whose been in the States all of two weeks is going through. If there is real love that brought you two together, then you should be figuring out how to overcome his issues and make your relationship work. If his brother can afford a ticket for him to come to CA, maybe the brother should buy a ticket and come visit the two of you and try to help him adjust to life in the States. At this point I'm just angered that the time it took someone to process your petition and for someone to interview your husband, could've been time used on a petition that belonged to two people who really know what they want.

If the man was presumed dead by going missing in the Philippines I would think it could be a little harder to go about getting to the bottom of it..but if he was a USC living in the States at the time of his disappearance, I would think there would be some sort of missing report, news story, something. If your wife was going through any sort of immigration process with the man, his info has to be on file somewhere. I know this is not answering your question, but maybe the answer to what you're looking for is tracking this man down and getting something in writing from the States. The internet is a wealth of information and it's not easy for people to just disappear. Good luck with everything,

You should have gotten to know him better before bringing him to the US, Im sorry to say, but it's true. Truthfully, you're not the victim here...he is. Unless, there is abuse or cheating or any other thing you're not telling us. But from what I can see, you brought him here....he gave up whatever he had going for himself in Morocco, left a familiar place full of family and friends...and now you're saying that you made a mistake and you don't want to marry him. You don't need to do anything, you've already done it...you gave him grounds for that VAWA stuff. A lot of men and women use it as a tool for staying in the country by making up lies that the spouse/fiancé kicked them out, wont adjust the status, etc. In this case...it would be totally valid if he went that route. I'm sorry your relationship was not all it seemed, but seeing someone face to face for 8 days and then deciding he's the person you will spend the rest of your life with is ridiculous in itself. Go to USCIS office, put in writing what your situation is so that they will document it, and move on with your life...do yourself a favor and dont' go meeting anyone else abroad and dragging them into this sort of indecisiveness. Thank God the person you brought to the States has somewhere else to go..imagine if he had nobody there when you came to your conclusion of not wanting him anymore.

I just cant believe the excuses and justifications. I'm the USC married to my Nigerian husband and we've been living together for nearly 5 years here in Ghana. I go back and forth from the States to Ghana at least 3 times a year, staying no less than 3 months at a time in Ghana. I did plenty of research before ever stepping foot here and even now in year 5, I still experience culture shock. A day doesn't go by that I don't look around and wonder where the heck am I again? At times I'm grouchy from being homesick, I'm clingy to my husband because he's all I have here, I'm discouraged at the lack of things I'm able to do here without being a Ghanaian citizen, etc. So just imagine what this guy, whose been in the States all of two weeks is going through. If there is real love that brought you two together, then you should be figuring out how to overcome his issues and make your relationship work. If his brother can afford a ticket for him to come to CA, maybe the brother should buy a ticket and come visit the two of you and try to help him adjust to life in the States. At this point I'm just angered that the time it took someone to process your petition and for someone to interview your husband, could've been time used on a petition that belonged to two people who really know what they want.

That list is far from black and white. All someone has to do is go tell immigration that they're fiancé or spouse put them out of the house ...get a few friends to make statements, say the fiancé or spouse is not willing to adjust status, etc and boom ..VAWA case! the USC has no say in anything, they cant even dispute the allegations. I feel like the guy has some rights in this case. What has he done ? It's only been two weeks that he's been in the States, how do you even make any decision that it's not going to work that quickly. What expectations did she have for him since he's been here, that she feels he is not worth marrying now? My God, the guy is probably still in culture shock and now he's being kicked to the curb?. And sadly, look how many of us are here waiting and praying for our significant others to join us and this petition and interview was a wasted time that could've been spent on another case!