kennym

ANOTHER VJ CLASSIC...

OP Seeking relationship advice on the internet!
Others picking on fellow posters!!
DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA
Off topic BS!!

To the OP.. THe internet (VJ Included) is the worst place in the world for Relationship advice.. Please, go and talk to a counselor, a pastor, or family, or a friend you trust.. Most internet sites are full of people thriving on this Drama and have nothing helpful to offer.. The relationship advise you get here or other internet Forums, is simply dangerous. Especially if you put any credibility in it,
I am not saying there are n't good people here, but there are a whole bunch of bad advise and nobody should consider following advise on managing relationships from things said on a website.I cant stress enough, unless you don't care about your relationship, the internet and forums, is not a place to seek advise or encouragement. There are too many people simply not interested in giving mature advise.. It is great for Immigration Questions, but from only a few who give good advise, but the relationship stuff is best handled by family, friends, pastors, and real-life counselors...
Those of you getting your rocks-off on picking on Tim/Mav and others, Please! get a life.. Not everyone is as eloquent as you are...
Sincerely hope the best for you...

HenyCat...
Can you be a little more insensitive.. You may not be very intuitive, but these guys are going through a huge emotional trial.. Try thinking before posting stupid sarcastic remarks
Kenny

There you go again... Inventing something you know nothing about and trying to make it about something rightous.. It's very possible Darren has issues, but again your assumptions, because you love the drama, is that his comments are literal and you wanna make yourself look like the VJ Saviour... Because if he has communcations issues, and all his statements can be atributed to his inabilty to express himself properly, then all the drama dispappears.. and that would be no fun you.. huh.. you'd have to go back to your boring life today and wait for the next opporitunity to creat drama,,,
And god knows you're good and creating reasons to have drama..

Quiet extreme view for someone who benefits from the freedoms that others have fought for...
Thankfully we have plenty of brave souls fighting for our freedom and our country's security..
I do however, agree with some of the comments you made.. Not sure where these other comments (regarding military and Murder) came from what they have to do with the subject, if anything other than BS ... Very odd.. But thankfully, in this country, people have fought and died for your right to make such ridiculous comments..
Very perplexing...

-50 points

Boy, when I see stupid extreme comments like this, it hard to stay quiet.. to the Mods, isnt there a mimimum age limit for members..
to the poster.. when you grow up, here are somethings to consider..
this is absolutely ridiculous statement.. I was never in the military, but my father retired from the Military, after fighting in vietnam. I can assure you, that this is one of the most ignorant statements of all time.. People enroll in the US Armed services for all kinds of reasons.. Some, because it's a job, some because it's an excellent oppurituty for your future in so many ways, third many beleive in something that is woth fighting for..
Regardless, you have no right to condemn them.. What kind of job do you have?
Thankfully, America doesnt need those friends of yours. The US enjoys the freedoms we have because of Brave Americans willing to fight for something rightous.. Especially for you and your friends...
Said from the peace and security of your living room.. Do you have a clue, how many forreigners would love to have that peace and security.. Thankfully, you have a Government that provides that...
Well, "Read to do it" you sure dont deserve any respect, but those that put their lives on the line, deserve it whether you agree with it or not.. again, a freedom to not only feel how you feel, but say how you feel is something you have from those brave men and women who fought and died for it..

The item in Bold is an important item to remember...

Confused
You also. The issue is you guys are inventing reasons to attack someone. "I dont know any of you, but believe you could be a violent agressive person." What a ridiculous assumption. It is baseless, unfounded and sounds like children.
There is just as much possibility she is telling the truth and all of you are. assuming simply because either, what she posted about something that occured 10 years ago, or there is no way the grandma can be wrong. Not all grandmas are sweet and nice.
Its not about the OP, it is about inventing reasons to attack somebody.
Not shoving anything down your throat or anyone elses. Somebody attack the OP over some baseless BS, then a bunch of you jumped on the band wagon. Like a bunch of Jerry Springer groupies.
Whether shes innocent or not, isnt the point. What basis do you have for assuming she deserves the attacks. It ses you and other are basing you feelings on something in her pre-teen years.
So if anyone is shoving something down anyones throats, it the Jerry Springer fans.
You are just upset, because someone stands up against the bullies. I am certain that if you guys werent in the anynomity of the internet, none of you would treat people like this in person. Its simply cowardly.

SamOnline
First, let me appologize for this response, it may not help the OP with his situation, except to know, that I sympathize...
I believe America has it benefits,... BUT...
I will admit, Americans are arrogant, and American Policy assumes that E V E R Y O N E wants to live in the USA.. Whether or not statistics support this, I have not met many people from the countries I've been to, that are anxious to leave their country and come live in the USA... There are many places that folks from other countries want to visit.. Most Americans have never left the USA and have no idea what the real life is like in other countries.. We listen to the news about how many illegally immigrate to the USA, but, I am holding back my thoughts about why that is..The fact is that the same Americans that have never travelled abroad, feel that the USA is the only place worth living and they believe that the reason that the immigration problem exists is to take jobs away from USC's.. Americans feel that everyone outside the USA wants to leave their terrible lives and come to the USA... The truth is, Those that believe this, don't have a clue what other cultures truly have to offer.. And those that are adventurist enough realize after spending sometime outside the USA, that there are plenty of places that have plenty of good things to offer..
I am fairly convinced; many immigrate either legally or otherwise, simply out of desperation to be with their loved ones... To me, it should be a slam dunk, that as a USC, if you have family that you want to be with, you should be allowed to be with them, here in the USA.. It should be an inherent right..
Yes, there is the other side of the illegal immigration problem. Which includes those in very bad conditions trying to find a way to care for their families, but that is a completely different problem and not what I am interested in discussing..
I don’t know your entire story, but it seems that there are many that go through great lengths to be with their wife and children, the US doesn't make that easy.. It's sad that the assumption that the USA has is that E V E R Y O N E wants to come to the USA just to get away from their bad lives.. This seems to me, to be the furthest thing from the truth..
My wife is Columbiana, she absolutely did not want to leave her country.. Her family is everything to her.. Her mom, brother, sister, uncles, aunts are all very tight and are always doing things together.. They don’t need much.. They struggle with work to make ends meet, but, the time they have together and the things they do together, makes all those struggles seem worth it because of the wholesomeness, fun, and togetherness they feel each and every day.. Frankly, it seems those things are lost her in our culture..
Americans measure happiness and success by a different standard.. And we may not realize that other cultures have a completely different measure of happiness..
So, your statement about how every assumption is based on Americans feeling that everyone wants to come to the USA, just to take advantage of the American dream is seemingly true... There is a high cost of being allowed to seek that dream.. The problem with that kind of mentality is, that that dream only exists in the minds of Americans, and not something that is real... The fact is, an entrepreneur, you can succeed in any place.. There are countless financially successful people all over the world... And in today’s World-Wide market place, it is possible to achieve that dream regardless of where you live.. SO the issues isn't that people want to come to the USA to take advantage for some obscure, elusive belief of reaching their dreams.. People want to be with their family and be in a position to take care of their family...
My wife's family is in Colombia, her Mom, her Step Dad, and her brother and sister.. They all miss each other tremendously... My wife asked recently about if its possible for her or I to petition for them.. I told her, it isn’t a simple process and certainly no slam dunk.. Even if we were able to, how did she believe they would support themselves.. Her step dad runs a hospital in Colombia, as a Chief Administrator.. It's a good job, her mom runs her own business manufacturing clothes for retailers and has about 25 employees. So, talking to her, I explained what could they do here? They don’t speak English, they have very little chance to have the life here they have there.. She said, she knows, but her family wants to be close to her.. Again, it wasn't about seeking the American Dream, it is about Family... I completely understand that, but explained the process for her to get her mom and the rest of her family here would take years.. It's unfortunate that this is the case..
We absolutely support legal immigration, but it seems like the System is flawed because it is one of the most difficult countries in the world to either visit or immigrate to..
Then there are the cases that are unfairly suspected of fraud or other disqualifying problems..
I really feel for you, and hope you can find a way to be together... But in the end, we do what we can do...

SamOnline
First, let me appologize for this response, it may not help the OP with his situation, except to know, that I sympathize...
I believe America has it benefits,... BUT...
I will admit, Americans are arrogant, and American Policy assumes that E V E R Y O N E wants to live in the USA.. Whether or not statistics support this, I have not met many people from the countries I've been to, that are anxious to leave their country and come live in the USA... There are many places that folks from other countries want to visit.. Most Americans have never left the USA and have no idea what the real life is like in other countries.. We listen to the news about how many illegally immigrate to the USA, but, I am holding back my thoughts about why that is..The fact is that the same Americans that have never travelled abroad, feel that the USA is the only place worth living and they believe that the reason that the immigration problem exists is to take jobs away from USC's.. Americans feel that everyone outside the USA wants to leave their terrible lives and come to the USA... The truth is, Those that believe this, don't have a clue what other cultures truly have to offer.. And those that are adventurist enough realize after spending sometime outside the USA, that there are plenty of places that have plenty of good things to offer..
I am fairly convinced; many immigrate either legally or otherwise, simply out of desperation to be with their loved ones... To me, it should be a slam dunk, that as a USC, if you have family that you want to be with, you should be allowed to be with them, here in the USA.. It should be an inherent right..
Yes, there is the other side of the illegal immigration problem. Which includes those in very bad conditions trying to find a way to care for their families, but that is a completely different problem and not what I am interested in discussing..
I don’t know your entire story, but it seems that there are many that go through great lengths to be with their wife and children, the US doesn't make that easy.. It's sad that the assumption that the USA has is that E V E R Y O N E wants to come to the USA just to get away from their bad lives.. This seems to me, to be the furthest thing from the truth..
My wife is Columbiana, she absolutely did not want to leave her country.. Her family is everything to her.. Her mom, brother, sister, uncles, aunts are all very tight and are always doing things together.. They don’t need much.. They struggle with work to make ends meet, but, the time they have together and the things they do together, makes all those struggles seem worth it because of the wholesomeness, fun, and togetherness they feel each and every day.. Frankly, it seems those things are lost her in our culture..
Americans measure happiness and success by a different standard.. And we may not realize that other cultures have a completely different measure of happiness..
So, your statement about how every assumption is based on Americans feeling that everyone wants to come to the USA, just to take advantage of the American dream is seemingly true... There is a high cost of being allowed to seek that dream.. The problem with that kind of mentality is, that that dream only exists in the minds of Americans, and not something that is real... The fact is, an entrepreneur, you can succeed in any place.. There are countless financially successful people all over the world... And in today’s World-Wide market place, it is possible to achieve that dream regardless of where you live.. SO the issues isn't that people want to come to the USA to take advantage for some obscure, elusive belief of reaching their dreams.. People want to be with their family and be in a position to take care of their family...
My wife's family is in Colombia, her Mom, her Step Dad, and her brother and sister.. They all miss each other tremendously... My wife asked recently about if its possible for her or I to petition for them.. I told her, it isn’t a simple process and certainly no slam dunk.. Even if we were able to, how did she believe they would support themselves.. Her step dad runs a hospital in Colombia, as a Chief Administrator.. It's a good job, her mom runs her own business manufacturing clothes for retailers and has about 25 employees. So, talking to her, I explained what could they do here? They don’t speak English, they have very little chance to have the life here they have there.. She said, she knows, but her family wants to be close to her.. Again, it wasn't about seeking the American Dream, it is about Family... I completely understand that, but explained the process for her to get her mom and the rest of her family here would take years.. It's unfortunate that this is the case..
We absolutely support legal immigration, but it seems like the System is flawed because it is one of the most difficult countries in the world to either visit or immigrate to..
Then there are the cases that are unfairly suspected of fraud or other disqualifying problems..
I really feel for you, and hope you can find a way to be together... But in the end, we do what we can do...

Confused
You also. The issue is you guys are inventing reasons to attack someone. "I dont know any of you, but believe you could be a violent agressive person." What a ridiculous assumption. It is baseless, unfounded and sounds like children.
There is just as much possibility she is telling the truth and all of you are. assuming simply because either, what she posted about something that occured 10 years ago, or there is no way the grandma can be wrong. Not all grandmas are sweet and nice.
Its not about the OP, it is about inventing reasons to attack somebody.
Not shoving anything down your throat or anyone elses. Somebody attack the OP over some baseless BS, then a bunch of you jumped on the band wagon. Like a bunch of Jerry Springer groupies.
Whether shes innocent or not, isnt the point. What basis do you have for assuming she deserves the attacks. It ses you and other are basing you feelings on something in her pre-teen years.
So if anyone is shoving something down anyones throats, it the Jerry Springer fans.
You are just upset, because someone stands up against the bullies. I am certain that if you guys werent in the anynomity of the internet, none of you would treat people like this in person. Its simply cowardly.

Hey Amy, I don't beleive Sam was refering to you specifically..
Butt the Stereo typing is something that happens regardless of who you are.. Americans Stereo Type eveyone, and it's true the other way around as well..
Many Countries have their opininons about Americans..
Let me tell you about the Stereo Typing I've been dealing with.. It's quiet sad... But it tells you how we are, not just Americans, bet all cultures..
When my friends found out I met my Wife-to-be, and that she was from Colombia, and they saw some photos of us together which I proudly shared with them.. The first thing they noticed was that she was stunning, and quiet a bit younger than me..
Soooooo... They first said,
"DUDE! You know she only wants the greencard!"
I wasnt suprized or insulted by thier comments.. The fact was, It took Her and I years of getting to know each other before I considered a relationship with her.. In fact, durring the first few year I knew her, I was trying to introduce her to friends of mine.. It wasnt until later, we considered dating.. So I knew if All she wanted was the GreenCard, she would have hapily considered relatinships with the guys I introduced her to.. But she didn't.. She didnt like thos guys.. I assure you, they were all better off and better looking than me..
So, 5 years later, (immigartion stuff, KI, Interview, POE, bla bla bla) she and I arrived back into the USA for her first time ever.. I was surprized how she did not kiss the ground, on her first steps onto US SOil... Nope, she was not as excited about being away from Colombia, as I some would think.. Looking at her facial expressions, she wasnt convinced that the sacrifices she was making to be here was in her best interests..
Well she slowly accepted the fact she was here..
The cool part of this story, was for our wedding, I was amazed buy something.. All the friends who assumed the worst about her and her motives, quickly saw how genuine she was and they all realized how wonderful she really was..
The issue was they all assumed that her motives was to use me for the GC.. Its based on stero typing.. You're not the only person who faces it.. we all do..
I'm overweight, I get stereo typed every day.. its a way of life.. I think it's wrong, but its reality..
Stereo typeing is many of the reasons our immigration challenges exists..

Boiler... I know your joking, because only a thoughtless person would say something like that.. Someone who doesnt consider all the implications of re-locating the primary bread-winner.. Many of the reasons others choose to live in the USA with their family exists in our situation as well..
There are however, many many foriegners relocating to Colombia.. Americans as well, I know many that I've met on my trips.. They have the resources or the means to support themself..
I will tell you, if I had the oppuritunities or new how to generate income, I would have lived there, and my wife would have been much hapier.. It was not easy convincing my wife to leave, but, it's fairly clear she did it because she loved me.. Not because of the greencard, or the chase of the almighty, elusive dollar...
And there-in lies my point..
When it comes to family, the burden to show a bonified relationship should remain, however, the Burden to DisCredit or Disprove Fraud, scams, or shams shouldn't lie on the petitioners or the Beneficiary, in the contrary, the USCIS and the DOS should have the Burden and to prove that a relationship is based on fraud and for immigration purposes.. There needs to be more than, "they feel"...

JoJo, I appreciate your thoughts, but, I think you misunderstood my point.. Honestly, it could be my fault.. I have a terrible capacity to deliver my intended message.. That’s likely the reason I don’t do well in public.. lol…
You have good points, but my primary point is the Attitude of Americans, more than it is about Statistics... You seem fairly knowledgeable about the Immigration Policies, and Offer helpful advice to many, so I don't dispute any of the things you've said..
My wife and I were talking earlier, and I told her, I’m not quite sure the US is the best place for her family,, They would have much more struggle here.. Simply because of their language, they would not feel like they were getting the opportunities they currently have in their home country.. The really ironic thing is, it’s easier for them to immigrate to the US on a family based Visa, then it is to get a tourist Visa.. My wife is very aware, that it is unlikely her mom will ever get to visit here and spend time with her and see how her new life is shaping up here in the USA…
I don’t want to seem like a radical, or extremist, but simply, What my issues relates to is arrogance of many Americans that simply exists because of where they were born... People are no less entitled to being with someone they love simply because they had were born in a different country.. I believe that people from third world countries seem to get the least amount of consideration...
I admit I haven’t had the time or claim to have the expertise, to solve all the complex issues around immigration, so I will just leave it at this.. I believe American Policy is extreme in this area and many good people are left with devastation over CO's with to much latitude to affect people lives.. There needs to be more accountability around the decisions they make and a requirement to justify a denial. Denials and Bans based on CO claims of fraud need to be supported by more than a CO having a bad day or a "gut feeling" and there should be oversight by people that have a better sense of right and wrong, than by CO's that love the power to ruin somebody's life.. I realize that this characterization may be unfair to many, and likely there are many CO's that take their responsibility and the power seriously and don’t simply look for ways to throw their weight around, but you often hear stories of CO's which seemingly abuse their position..
I was amazed by the CO's and the Chief of the IV Section at the Embassy in Colombia.. Absolutely fair and really showed that they cared about the lives of the people they were affecting..
Thankfully, I was blessed with opportunities to explore other places.. While I was on my various adventures, I met some truly wonderful people that are very prideful of where they live and their country.. Many had hoped they could visit the USA.. To many, this is an Intriguing place.. But, it doesn’t mean they want to live here.. I loved to visit the Tar Pits in Los Angeles, but wouldn’t want to live there either.. The point is, these same people that would love to see the USA, also want to see Australia, and Europe, but Americans don’t see that.. I met more outsiders when I travelled to Panama, to Saudi, to Italy, Caribean, Venezueala, There were foreigners from many other countries in these foreign places... more foriegners in those places than foreigners I've seen here in the USA... Canada is an excellent example.. You talk about diversity.. Canada has some parallels to the US, in terms of Immigration, but nowhere near as extreme...
To Americans and American Policy, the measure of integrity is by your bank account.. That's a terrible measure.. Look at the disaster our economy is in because of crooks in powerful places.. Some of the most honest people I know are from poverish countries..
I disagree with your take on my posts.. The point was not to say open the borders, it was to say, somehow Immigration Policy should be more sensitive to uniting families...

Hey Amy, I don't beleive Sam was refering to you specifically..
Butt the Stereo typing is something that happens regardless of who you are.. Americans Stereo Type eveyone, and it's true the other way around as well..
Many Countries have their opininons about Americans..
Let me tell you about the Stereo Typing I've been dealing with.. It's quiet sad... But it tells you how we are, not just Americans, bet all cultures..
When my friends found out I met my Wife-to-be, and that she was from Colombia, and they saw some photos of us together which I proudly shared with them.. The first thing they noticed was that she was stunning, and quiet a bit younger than me..
Soooooo... They first said,
"DUDE! You know she only wants the greencard!"
I wasnt suprized or insulted by thier comments.. The fact was, It took Her and I years of getting to know each other before I considered a relationship with her.. In fact, durring the first few year I knew her, I was trying to introduce her to friends of mine.. It wasnt until later, we considered dating.. So I knew if All she wanted was the GreenCard, she would have hapily considered relatinships with the guys I introduced her to.. But she didn't.. She didnt like thos guys.. I assure you, they were all better off and better looking than me..
So, 5 years later, (immigartion stuff, KI, Interview, POE, bla bla bla) she and I arrived back into the USA for her first time ever.. I was surprized how she did not kiss the ground, on her first steps onto US SOil... Nope, she was not as excited about being away from Colombia, as I some would think.. Looking at her facial expressions, she wasnt convinced that the sacrifices she was making to be here was in her best interests..
Well she slowly accepted the fact she was here..
The cool part of this story, was for our wedding, I was amazed buy something.. All the friends who assumed the worst about her and her motives, quickly saw how genuine she was and they all realized how wonderful she really was..
The issue was they all assumed that her motives was to use me for the GC.. Its based on stero typing.. You're not the only person who faces it.. we all do..
I'm overweight, I get stereo typed every day.. its a way of life.. I think it's wrong, but its reality..
Stereo typeing is many of the reasons our immigration challenges exists..

SamOnline
First, let me appologize for this response, it may not help the OP with his situation, except to know, that I sympathize...
I believe America has it benefits,... BUT...
I will admit, Americans are arrogant, and American Policy assumes that E V E R Y O N E wants to live in the USA.. Whether or not statistics support this, I have not met many people from the countries I've been to, that are anxious to leave their country and come live in the USA... There are many places that folks from other countries want to visit.. Most Americans have never left the USA and have no idea what the real life is like in other countries.. We listen to the news about how many illegally immigrate to the USA, but, I am holding back my thoughts about why that is..The fact is that the same Americans that have never travelled abroad, feel that the USA is the only place worth living and they believe that the reason that the immigration problem exists is to take jobs away from USC's.. Americans feel that everyone outside the USA wants to leave their terrible lives and come to the USA... The truth is, Those that believe this, don't have a clue what other cultures truly have to offer.. And those that are adventurist enough realize after spending sometime outside the USA, that there are plenty of places that have plenty of good things to offer..
I am fairly convinced; many immigrate either legally or otherwise, simply out of desperation to be with their loved ones... To me, it should be a slam dunk, that as a USC, if you have family that you want to be with, you should be allowed to be with them, here in the USA.. It should be an inherent right..
Yes, there is the other side of the illegal immigration problem. Which includes those in very bad conditions trying to find a way to care for their families, but that is a completely different problem and not what I am interested in discussing..
I don’t know your entire story, but it seems that there are many that go through great lengths to be with their wife and children, the US doesn't make that easy.. It's sad that the assumption that the USA has is that E V E R Y O N E wants to come to the USA just to get away from their bad lives.. This seems to me, to be the furthest thing from the truth..
My wife is Columbiana, she absolutely did not want to leave her country.. Her family is everything to her.. Her mom, brother, sister, uncles, aunts are all very tight and are always doing things together.. They don’t need much.. They struggle with work to make ends meet, but, the time they have together and the things they do together, makes all those struggles seem worth it because of the wholesomeness, fun, and togetherness they feel each and every day.. Frankly, it seems those things are lost her in our culture..
Americans measure happiness and success by a different standard.. And we may not realize that other cultures have a completely different measure of happiness..
So, your statement about how every assumption is based on Americans feeling that everyone wants to come to the USA, just to take advantage of the American dream is seemingly true... There is a high cost of being allowed to seek that dream.. The problem with that kind of mentality is, that that dream only exists in the minds of Americans, and not something that is real... The fact is, an entrepreneur, you can succeed in any place.. There are countless financially successful people all over the world... And in today’s World-Wide market place, it is possible to achieve that dream regardless of where you live.. SO the issues isn't that people want to come to the USA to take advantage for some obscure, elusive belief of reaching their dreams.. People want to be with their family and be in a position to take care of their family...
My wife's family is in Colombia, her Mom, her Step Dad, and her brother and sister.. They all miss each other tremendously... My wife asked recently about if its possible for her or I to petition for them.. I told her, it isn’t a simple process and certainly no slam dunk.. Even if we were able to, how did she believe they would support themselves.. Her step dad runs a hospital in Colombia, as a Chief Administrator.. It's a good job, her mom runs her own business manufacturing clothes for retailers and has about 25 employees. So, talking to her, I explained what could they do here? They don’t speak English, they have very little chance to have the life here they have there.. She said, she knows, but her family wants to be close to her.. Again, it wasn't about seeking the American Dream, it is about Family... I completely understand that, but explained the process for her to get her mom and the rest of her family here would take years.. It's unfortunate that this is the case..
We absolutely support legal immigration, but it seems like the System is flawed because it is one of the most difficult countries in the world to either visit or immigrate to..
Then there are the cases that are unfairly suspected of fraud or other disqualifying problems..
I really feel for you, and hope you can find a way to be together... But in the end, we do what we can do...

JoJo, I appreciate your thoughts, but, I think you misunderstood my point.. Honestly, it could be my fault.. I have a terrible capacity to deliver my intended message.. That’s likely the reason I don’t do well in public.. lol…
You have good points, but my primary point is the Attitude of Americans, more than it is about Statistics... You seem fairly knowledgeable about the Immigration Policies, and Offer helpful advice to many, so I don't dispute any of the things you've said..
My wife and I were talking earlier, and I told her, I’m not quite sure the US is the best place for her family,, They would have much more struggle here.. Simply because of their language, they would not feel like they were getting the opportunities they currently have in their home country.. The really ironic thing is, it’s easier for them to immigrate to the US on a family based Visa, then it is to get a tourist Visa.. My wife is very aware, that it is unlikely her mom will ever get to visit here and spend time with her and see how her new life is shaping up here in the USA…
I don’t want to seem like a radical, or extremist, but simply, What my issues relates to is arrogance of many Americans that simply exists because of where they were born... People are no less entitled to being with someone they love simply because they had were born in a different country.. I believe that people from third world countries seem to get the least amount of consideration...
I admit I haven’t had the time or claim to have the expertise, to solve all the complex issues around immigration, so I will just leave it at this.. I believe American Policy is extreme in this area and many good people are left with devastation over CO's with to much latitude to affect people lives.. There needs to be more accountability around the decisions they make and a requirement to justify a denial. Denials and Bans based on CO claims of fraud need to be supported by more than a CO having a bad day or a "gut feeling" and there should be oversight by people that have a better sense of right and wrong, than by CO's that love the power to ruin somebody's life.. I realize that this characterization may be unfair to many, and likely there are many CO's that take their responsibility and the power seriously and don’t simply look for ways to throw their weight around, but you often hear stories of CO's which seemingly abuse their position..
I was amazed by the CO's and the Chief of the IV Section at the Embassy in Colombia.. Absolutely fair and really showed that they cared about the lives of the people they were affecting..
Thankfully, I was blessed with opportunities to explore other places.. While I was on my various adventures, I met some truly wonderful people that are very prideful of where they live and their country.. Many had hoped they could visit the USA.. To many, this is an Intriguing place.. But, it doesn’t mean they want to live here.. I loved to visit the Tar Pits in Los Angeles, but wouldn’t want to live there either.. The point is, these same people that would love to see the USA, also want to see Australia, and Europe, but Americans don’t see that.. I met more outsiders when I travelled to Panama, to Saudi, to Italy, Caribean, Venezueala, There were foreigners from many other countries in these foreign places... more foriegners in those places than foreigners I've seen here in the USA... Canada is an excellent example.. You talk about diversity.. Canada has some parallels to the US, in terms of Immigration, but nowhere near as extreme...
To Americans and American Policy, the measure of integrity is by your bank account.. That's a terrible measure.. Look at the disaster our economy is in because of crooks in powerful places.. Some of the most honest people I know are from poverish countries..
I disagree with your take on my posts.. The point was not to say open the borders, it was to say, somehow Immigration Policy should be more sensitive to uniting families...

SamOnline
First, let me appologize for this response, it may not help the OP with his situation, except to know, that I sympathize...
I believe America has it benefits,... BUT...
I will admit, Americans are arrogant, and American Policy assumes that E V E R Y O N E wants to live in the USA.. Whether or not statistics support this, I have not met many people from the countries I've been to, that are anxious to leave their country and come live in the USA... There are many places that folks from other countries want to visit.. Most Americans have never left the USA and have no idea what the real life is like in other countries.. We listen to the news about how many illegally immigrate to the USA, but, I am holding back my thoughts about why that is..The fact is that the same Americans that have never travelled abroad, feel that the USA is the only place worth living and they believe that the reason that the immigration problem exists is to take jobs away from USC's.. Americans feel that everyone outside the USA wants to leave their terrible lives and come to the USA... The truth is, Those that believe this, don't have a clue what other cultures truly have to offer.. And those that are adventurist enough realize after spending sometime outside the USA, that there are plenty of places that have plenty of good things to offer..
I am fairly convinced; many immigrate either legally or otherwise, simply out of desperation to be with their loved ones... To me, it should be a slam dunk, that as a USC, if you have family that you want to be with, you should be allowed to be with them, here in the USA.. It should be an inherent right..
Yes, there is the other side of the illegal immigration problem. Which includes those in very bad conditions trying to find a way to care for their families, but that is a completely different problem and not what I am interested in discussing..
I don’t know your entire story, but it seems that there are many that go through great lengths to be with their wife and children, the US doesn't make that easy.. It's sad that the assumption that the USA has is that E V E R Y O N E wants to come to the USA just to get away from their bad lives.. This seems to me, to be the furthest thing from the truth..
My wife is Columbiana, she absolutely did not want to leave her country.. Her family is everything to her.. Her mom, brother, sister, uncles, aunts are all very tight and are always doing things together.. They don’t need much.. They struggle with work to make ends meet, but, the time they have together and the things they do together, makes all those struggles seem worth it because of the wholesomeness, fun, and togetherness they feel each and every day.. Frankly, it seems those things are lost her in our culture..
Americans measure happiness and success by a different standard.. And we may not realize that other cultures have a completely different measure of happiness..
So, your statement about how every assumption is based on Americans feeling that everyone wants to come to the USA, just to take advantage of the American dream is seemingly true... There is a high cost of being allowed to seek that dream.. The problem with that kind of mentality is, that that dream only exists in the minds of Americans, and not something that is real... The fact is, an entrepreneur, you can succeed in any place.. There are countless financially successful people all over the world... And in today’s World-Wide market place, it is possible to achieve that dream regardless of where you live.. SO the issues isn't that people want to come to the USA to take advantage for some obscure, elusive belief of reaching their dreams.. People want to be with their family and be in a position to take care of their family...
My wife's family is in Colombia, her Mom, her Step Dad, and her brother and sister.. They all miss each other tremendously... My wife asked recently about if its possible for her or I to petition for them.. I told her, it isn’t a simple process and certainly no slam dunk.. Even if we were able to, how did she believe they would support themselves.. Her step dad runs a hospital in Colombia, as a Chief Administrator.. It's a good job, her mom runs her own business manufacturing clothes for retailers and has about 25 employees. So, talking to her, I explained what could they do here? They don’t speak English, they have very little chance to have the life here they have there.. She said, she knows, but her family wants to be close to her.. Again, it wasn't about seeking the American Dream, it is about Family... I completely understand that, but explained the process for her to get her mom and the rest of her family here would take years.. It's unfortunate that this is the case..
We absolutely support legal immigration, but it seems like the System is flawed because it is one of the most difficult countries in the world to either visit or immigrate to..
Then there are the cases that are unfairly suspected of fraud or other disqualifying problems..
I really feel for you, and hope you can find a way to be together... But in the end, we do what we can do...

SamOnline
First, let me appologize for this response, it may not help the OP with his situation, except to know, that I sympathize...
I believe America has it benefits,... BUT...
I will admit, Americans are arrogant, and American Policy assumes that E V E R Y O N E wants to live in the USA.. Whether or not statistics support this, I have not met many people from the countries I've been to, that are anxious to leave their country and come live in the USA... There are many places that folks from other countries want to visit.. Most Americans have never left the USA and have no idea what the real life is like in other countries.. We listen to the news about how many illegally immigrate to the USA, but, I am holding back my thoughts about why that is..The fact is that the same Americans that have never travelled abroad, feel that the USA is the only place worth living and they believe that the reason that the immigration problem exists is to take jobs away from USC's.. Americans feel that everyone outside the USA wants to leave their terrible lives and come to the USA... The truth is, Those that believe this, don't have a clue what other cultures truly have to offer.. And those that are adventurist enough realize after spending sometime outside the USA, that there are plenty of places that have plenty of good things to offer..
I am fairly convinced; many immigrate either legally or otherwise, simply out of desperation to be with their loved ones... To me, it should be a slam dunk, that as a USC, if you have family that you want to be with, you should be allowed to be with them, here in the USA.. It should be an inherent right..
Yes, there is the other side of the illegal immigration problem. Which includes those in very bad conditions trying to find a way to care for their families, but that is a completely different problem and not what I am interested in discussing..
I don’t know your entire story, but it seems that there are many that go through great lengths to be with their wife and children, the US doesn't make that easy.. It's sad that the assumption that the USA has is that E V E R Y O N E wants to come to the USA just to get away from their bad lives.. This seems to me, to be the furthest thing from the truth..
My wife is Columbiana, she absolutely did not want to leave her country.. Her family is everything to her.. Her mom, brother, sister, uncles, aunts are all very tight and are always doing things together.. They don’t need much.. They struggle with work to make ends meet, but, the time they have together and the things they do together, makes all those struggles seem worth it because of the wholesomeness, fun, and togetherness they feel each and every day.. Frankly, it seems those things are lost her in our culture..
Americans measure happiness and success by a different standard.. And we may not realize that other cultures have a completely different measure of happiness..
So, your statement about how every assumption is based on Americans feeling that everyone wants to come to the USA, just to take advantage of the American dream is seemingly true... There is a high cost of being allowed to seek that dream.. The problem with that kind of mentality is, that that dream only exists in the minds of Americans, and not something that is real... The fact is, an entrepreneur, you can succeed in any place.. There are countless financially successful people all over the world... And in today’s World-Wide market place, it is possible to achieve that dream regardless of where you live.. SO the issues isn't that people want to come to the USA to take advantage for some obscure, elusive belief of reaching their dreams.. People want to be with their family and be in a position to take care of their family...
My wife's family is in Colombia, her Mom, her Step Dad, and her brother and sister.. They all miss each other tremendously... My wife asked recently about if its possible for her or I to petition for them.. I told her, it isn’t a simple process and certainly no slam dunk.. Even if we were able to, how did she believe they would support themselves.. Her step dad runs a hospital in Colombia, as a Chief Administrator.. It's a good job, her mom runs her own business manufacturing clothes for retailers and has about 25 employees. So, talking to her, I explained what could they do here? They don’t speak English, they have very little chance to have the life here they have there.. She said, she knows, but her family wants to be close to her.. Again, it wasn't about seeking the American Dream, it is about Family... I completely understand that, but explained the process for her to get her mom and the rest of her family here would take years.. It's unfortunate that this is the case..
We absolutely support legal immigration, but it seems like the System is flawed because it is one of the most difficult countries in the world to either visit or immigrate to..
Then there are the cases that are unfairly suspected of fraud or other disqualifying problems..
I really feel for you, and hope you can find a way to be together... But in the end, we do what we can do...

SamOnline
First, let me appologize for this response, it may not help the OP with his situation, except to know, that I sympathize...
I believe America has it benefits,... BUT...
I will admit, Americans are arrogant, and American Policy assumes that E V E R Y O N E wants to live in the USA.. Whether or not statistics support this, I have not met many people from the countries I've been to, that are anxious to leave their country and come live in the USA... There are many places that folks from other countries want to visit.. Most Americans have never left the USA and have no idea what the real life is like in other countries.. We listen to the news about how many illegally immigrate to the USA, but, I am holding back my thoughts about why that is..The fact is that the same Americans that have never travelled abroad, feel that the USA is the only place worth living and they believe that the reason that the immigration problem exists is to take jobs away from USC's.. Americans feel that everyone outside the USA wants to leave their terrible lives and come to the USA... The truth is, Those that believe this, don't have a clue what other cultures truly have to offer.. And those that are adventurist enough realize after spending sometime outside the USA, that there are plenty of places that have plenty of good things to offer..
I am fairly convinced; many immigrate either legally or otherwise, simply out of desperation to be with their loved ones... To me, it should be a slam dunk, that as a USC, if you have family that you want to be with, you should be allowed to be with them, here in the USA.. It should be an inherent right..
Yes, there is the other side of the illegal immigration problem. Which includes those in very bad conditions trying to find a way to care for their families, but that is a completely different problem and not what I am interested in discussing..
I don’t know your entire story, but it seems that there are many that go through great lengths to be with their wife and children, the US doesn't make that easy.. It's sad that the assumption that the USA has is that E V E R Y O N E wants to come to the USA just to get away from their bad lives.. This seems to me, to be the furthest thing from the truth..
My wife is Columbiana, she absolutely did not want to leave her country.. Her family is everything to her.. Her mom, brother, sister, uncles, aunts are all very tight and are always doing things together.. They don’t need much.. They struggle with work to make ends meet, but, the time they have together and the things they do together, makes all those struggles seem worth it because of the wholesomeness, fun, and togetherness they feel each and every day.. Frankly, it seems those things are lost her in our culture..
Americans measure happiness and success by a different standard.. And we may not realize that other cultures have a completely different measure of happiness..
So, your statement about how every assumption is based on Americans feeling that everyone wants to come to the USA, just to take advantage of the American dream is seemingly true... There is a high cost of being allowed to seek that dream.. The problem with that kind of mentality is, that that dream only exists in the minds of Americans, and not something that is real... The fact is, an entrepreneur, you can succeed in any place.. There are countless financially successful people all over the world... And in today’s World-Wide market place, it is possible to achieve that dream regardless of where you live.. SO the issues isn't that people want to come to the USA to take advantage for some obscure, elusive belief of reaching their dreams.. People want to be with their family and be in a position to take care of their family...
My wife's family is in Colombia, her Mom, her Step Dad, and her brother and sister.. They all miss each other tremendously... My wife asked recently about if its possible for her or I to petition for them.. I told her, it isn’t a simple process and certainly no slam dunk.. Even if we were able to, how did she believe they would support themselves.. Her step dad runs a hospital in Colombia, as a Chief Administrator.. It's a good job, her mom runs her own business manufacturing clothes for retailers and has about 25 employees. So, talking to her, I explained what could they do here? They don’t speak English, they have very little chance to have the life here they have there.. She said, she knows, but her family wants to be close to her.. Again, it wasn't about seeking the American Dream, it is about Family... I completely understand that, but explained the process for her to get her mom and the rest of her family here would take years.. It's unfortunate that this is the case..
We absolutely support legal immigration, but it seems like the System is flawed because it is one of the most difficult countries in the world to either visit or immigrate to..
Then there are the cases that are unfairly suspected of fraud or other disqualifying problems..
I really feel for you, and hope you can find a way to be together... But in the end, we do what we can do...

SamOnline
First, let me appologize for this response, it may not help the OP with his situation, except to know, that I sympathize...
I believe America has it benefits,... BUT...
I will admit, Americans are arrogant, and American Policy assumes that E V E R Y O N E wants to live in the USA.. Whether or not statistics support this, I have not met many people from the countries I've been to, that are anxious to leave their country and come live in the USA... There are many places that folks from other countries want to visit.. Most Americans have never left the USA and have no idea what the real life is like in other countries.. We listen to the news about how many illegally immigrate to the USA, but, I am holding back my thoughts about why that is..The fact is that the same Americans that have never travelled abroad, feel that the USA is the only place worth living and they believe that the reason that the immigration problem exists is to take jobs away from USC's.. Americans feel that everyone outside the USA wants to leave their terrible lives and come to the USA... The truth is, Those that believe this, don't have a clue what other cultures truly have to offer.. And those that are adventurist enough realize after spending sometime outside the USA, that there are plenty of places that have plenty of good things to offer..
I am fairly convinced; many immigrate either legally or otherwise, simply out of desperation to be with their loved ones... To me, it should be a slam dunk, that as a USC, if you have family that you want to be with, you should be allowed to be with them, here in the USA.. It should be an inherent right..
Yes, there is the other side of the illegal immigration problem. Which includes those in very bad conditions trying to find a way to care for their families, but that is a completely different problem and not what I am interested in discussing..
I don’t know your entire story, but it seems that there are many that go through great lengths to be with their wife and children, the US doesn't make that easy.. It's sad that the assumption that the USA has is that E V E R Y O N E wants to come to the USA just to get away from their bad lives.. This seems to me, to be the furthest thing from the truth..
My wife is Columbiana, she absolutely did not want to leave her country.. Her family is everything to her.. Her mom, brother, sister, uncles, aunts are all very tight and are always doing things together.. They don’t need much.. They struggle with work to make ends meet, but, the time they have together and the things they do together, makes all those struggles seem worth it because of the wholesomeness, fun, and togetherness they feel each and every day.. Frankly, it seems those things are lost her in our culture..
Americans measure happiness and success by a different standard.. And we may not realize that other cultures have a completely different measure of happiness..
So, your statement about how every assumption is based on Americans feeling that everyone wants to come to the USA, just to take advantage of the American dream is seemingly true... There is a high cost of being allowed to seek that dream.. The problem with that kind of mentality is, that that dream only exists in the minds of Americans, and not something that is real... The fact is, an entrepreneur, you can succeed in any place.. There are countless financially successful people all over the world... And in today’s World-Wide market place, it is possible to achieve that dream regardless of where you live.. SO the issues isn't that people want to come to the USA to take advantage for some obscure, elusive belief of reaching their dreams.. People want to be with their family and be in a position to take care of their family...
My wife's family is in Colombia, her Mom, her Step Dad, and her brother and sister.. They all miss each other tremendously... My wife asked recently about if its possible for her or I to petition for them.. I told her, it isn’t a simple process and certainly no slam dunk.. Even if we were able to, how did she believe they would support themselves.. Her step dad runs a hospital in Colombia, as a Chief Administrator.. It's a good job, her mom runs her own business manufacturing clothes for retailers and has about 25 employees. So, talking to her, I explained what could they do here? They don’t speak English, they have very little chance to have the life here they have there.. She said, she knows, but her family wants to be close to her.. Again, it wasn't about seeking the American Dream, it is about Family... I completely understand that, but explained the process for her to get her mom and the rest of her family here would take years.. It's unfortunate that this is the case..
We absolutely support legal immigration, but it seems like the System is flawed because it is one of the most difficult countries in the world to either visit or immigrate to..
Then there are the cases that are unfairly suspected of fraud or other disqualifying problems..
I really feel for you, and hope you can find a way to be together... But in the end, we do what we can do...

Confused
You also. The issue is you guys are inventing reasons to attack someone. "I dont know any of you, but believe you could be a violent agressive person." What a ridiculous assumption. It is baseless, unfounded and sounds like children.
There is just as much possibility she is telling the truth and all of you are. assuming simply because either, what she posted about something that occured 10 years ago, or there is no way the grandma can be wrong. Not all grandmas are sweet and nice.
Its not about the OP, it is about inventing reasons to attack somebody.
Not shoving anything down your throat or anyone elses. Somebody attack the OP over some baseless BS, then a bunch of you jumped on the band wagon. Like a bunch of Jerry Springer groupies.
Whether shes innocent or not, isnt the point. What basis do you have for assuming she deserves the attacks. It ses you and other are basing you feelings on something in her pre-teen years.
So if anyone is shoving something down anyones throats, it the Jerry Springer fans.
You are just upset, because someone stands up against the bullies. I am certain that if you guys werent in the anynomity of the internet, none of you would treat people like this in person. Its simply cowardly.

You sound like a drama queen.. To somehow associate something that happened when she was 12 and make any assumptions whatsoever, is simply (as nicely as I can put it, to not violate TOS) ridiculous...
We aren't suggesting that she is perfect, nobody is.. but you're taking something out of context and trying to associate an event that occured when she was 12 years old, and likely that you know nothing about.. Sounds like you want to create some drama...
I hit got in some pretty good fights as a 13-14 year old as well,, And boy did I kick some butt back then. And it felt good to give someone a butt-kicking when they deserved it.. But, that has nothing to do with the way I handle my adult affairs.. And to try to make a correlation here is simply..................
..................well I dont want to violate any TOS...
It seems like like you need to find something to fill your spare time..,

Rebecca Jo
at 12 years old, I punched a few people also as a kid, not sure what your point is... It's ridiculous to try to demonize someone for something they did as a kid and then try to play word games with them..
Can you clearly state your point and explain to the rest of us what you're trying to say..

What I dont get is; now that you have concluded that Darren is bad, is the bashing for the fun of it? or is something constructive going to come from it?
Waiting for an answer..
come'n man, You guys are letting me down...
I am starting to feel like you have no agenda except to bash on people...
Guys, insulting me is more evidense you have no agenda except to be abusive...
But this is good, your exposing yourselves...

Self Serving, Doubtful.. I know you're attempts to discredit me is appealing to the springer fans, but not working for me..
There is nothing self serving about exposing bullies.. Good try though.. however ridiculous attempt it is..
I have read the entire thread.. took me a couple of hours, but I read every single posts before making any comments, and what I get out of this is very diferent than you.. And the reason is, I am not seeking a reason to create drama.. I see the same bored clan attacking people over and over, and I am making it my agenda to expose that..
I cant stand maury povich for the same reason, it is simply garbage and a room full of immmature people jumping to conclusions after conclusions for the benefit of getting some satisfaction of furthering feeling that they are better than the rest of the world..
You cant seem to get that satisfaction from your life, so you find a internet forum to create that for you.. And then you use the protection of the internet to accuse someone of control, abuse, or whatever to make yourself feel better about your pointless lives..
Again, answer the quesstion.. for those who think that; jumping to conclusions and accusing someone of robbing the craddle or controlling their SO, or whatever, how does it help? How do you or rebecca, or those bashing the OP propose to help the 19 year old wife or the supposedly screwed up OP?I've asked the question 3 times, and nobody has addressed it.. Why? Because you guys dont really care about helping anybody.. you simply love to bash on people because you have concluded they are bad.. without considering any of the explainations offered for the statements made, you have made your conclusion and now you propose to fix the OP or solve the 19 yo's problem by beating up on the OP?
I am anxiously waiting to hear how this is going to help anyone...
Common, anita, rebecca, tmma, Crashed~N2~Me, how does your bashing help anything..
There are ways to offer constructive advice, but that isnt happening here, it is a assualt on the OP and anyone who attempts to say wait a minute, lets help in a constuctive way...
The reason is, because you arent entertained unless you gang up on someone..
go ahead, answer the question...I doubt you can...