100% Al Ahly Fan

Why have limits? Sometimes I agree a lot and like and should be able to like it.

Not sure on the first time, but the second time, you either missunderstood something or your hubby is not telling the truth. There is a spousal visa for less than two years, the CR-1, and for more than 2 years, the IR-1; the process is exactly the same, the only difference is the one letter in your visa in your passport.
When was your visa supposedly denied? Ie at interview, or by letter? There is no such thing as denial by phone call.

Agreed trust isn't something you should compromise on, and it is essential to a healthy relationship.
BUT it doesn't happen overnight. Saying, trust me and tell me everything doesn't automatically create trust, neither does the legal act of marriage. Especially if she knew that once she disclosed everything you would dump her.
Two sides to trust, and if she trusted me on the first night, I wouldn't trust her.
On the other hand, sounds like she is not adjusting well by her violent and manipulative tactics.

Golly, what harsh responses. It sounds more like you are seeking relationship advice rather than immigration advice. She has immigrated with you, yes? That part is done, for now, until she must remove conditions, which she technically can do with or without you.
We are few of us without things we would not tell a near-stranger. Your wife was married to you, a near stranger from what you have said, in an arranged marriage. You told her what you value is truth, and she married you and moved halfway around the world. It may be that once she knew you long enough to think she could trust you with her truths, she told them to you - an act she may have thought would bring you closer, given that you told her a husband and wife can be open with one another, and also perhaps because now, thousands of miles away from her family, she may have felt SAFE telling you these things - and now you find that you cannot bear her truths. It might help you to sort out what is it that bothers you, that she had an affair before she knew you, that she had an abortion before she knew you, or that she did not tell you about these things on your schedule? If your ego gets in the way of your love and compassion, you may lose someone who was just beginning to trust you - your wife. It seems that she need never have told you any of these things - you would not have known, and she would not have risked you leaving her. If you divorce her here, what skills does she have to get on with her life alone? Is she a professional? Does she have sound job skills? Or are you contemplating her returning to her family as a disgraced divorcee whose husband left her because she was not a virgin when she married him? She risked a great deal to be honest with you - she must have grown to trust you since you got married. This may be a great gift, a good thing.
She may have gotten to know you just enough since you have been together for some small time now to have trusted you enough to tell you. Perhaps you can trust her enough to believe that there must be something she values in her relationship with you very much to open up to you now and in this way, since it appears she has much to loose if you leave her. She took a risk in telling you her truth, perhaps you can respect her for doing so, since truth is what you said you wanted to build on.
Marrying you in an arranged marriage, at the urging of relatives, does not sound like green card fraud. It sounds like traditional arranged marriage, approved by the family, and entered into with the honest hope of success. It may be that once you get over your shock, you will see something of great value has grown in your marriage. I just don't believe that someone perpetrating a fraud would have told you this at this time.

I agree with this post 100%. Great advice!!! Unfortunately I had firsthand experience with this and wish I had this advice many years ago.

Is it possible all the "Lies" really are not true, and she just wants you to initiate a divorce??

To the OP, this is EXCELLENT advice!

You need to just divorce your wife. I think she's either Bipolar, very delusional & emotionally unstable (irresponsible too) or psychotic (maybe even all four) but I don't think she married you for a green card. As some folks said, try to find a way to get her back to India so her family can help her out with her problems but you need to separate yourself from her. This is not healthy. Its not about who is the good/bad guy but what is the best for 'me'. Since your wife lied and you married her without full knowledge & acceptance of her past and current issues you have alright to be selfish and only care about you and moving forward.

Worst-case scenario lying manipulator! The first stuff was bad enough, but this is over the top. Lying in order to manipulate you into marrying her is not excusable but extortion by threat of suicide is someone you need to get away from right now unless you want this for the rest of your life.
Classic symptom of being held hostage by an emotional blackmail artist/lying manipulator: keeping you terrified of telling them what they don't want to hear. You also have a conscience, which is what she is abusing to keep you. She on the other hand has no conscience whatsoever: lying to your face and emotional blackmail with suicide threats... this is a five-alarm threat level ten hunter-killer manipulator unit. This is what the rest of your life will be like if you stay with this person.
You can't prove fraud with this much to the USCIS. But you can extricate yourself, so read on your local state court what the procedure is for disollution or no-fault divorce.
With a manipulative person like this you do not discuss the matter. You tell them your decision, and that's the end of it. Be kind, but separate yourself from her

First thing, either forgive her or divorce , that is your personal decision, and must be decided by you only.
May be, get a plan to send her back in India, and after that, serve the divorce paper. You have to think about what excuse you can put so she is willing to go back to India for some time. If she has threatened to commit suicide, then be careful. You know, Indian girls are emotionally, and if she did something wrong, then it may create big trouble for you.

If you obsess over her and remain angry and bitter who does that hurt? Only you! Forget her and move on! Find a woman who is honest and will love you as you love her! Make this liar the loser!

I am sorry for all that you are facing. I do agree that the decision as regards the future of your relationship is primarily your own. I personally am not in favor of divorce however I cannot advise you to seek one or to refrain from seeking one. It is certainly very hurtful when someone breaks our trust in such extreme ways as she has broken yours. I am kind of wondering if she could intentionally be pushing you away because she actually wants to end the relationship because it doesn't make sense to me why she would keep coming up with fresh tales of torment when you had asked her from the get-go to tell you everything. You are the only one who can really determine what might be going on here and the right course of action.
However, I am not certain there is much you can do at this point to impact her green card status. I actually thought that one of the benefits of filing for a spousal visa is that you immediately get a 10 year green card as opposed to the 2 year conditional green card that you get when you come to the US as a fiancee. I might be mistaken but if I am right then there is definitely nothing you can do even if this is a case of fraud. If she does have a 2 year conditional green card then you can impact her chances of getting a 10 year green card but as has been said, you have a hard job of proving her fraudulent intent while coming into the marriage.
Again, my deepest sympathies for these circumstances. With any luck, you and your wife work through these issues and if not, you pull through this somehow.
Again, my deepest sympathies to you, with any luck you and your wife work through things and ta

Wow. I just read your post and I am really flabbergasted. I am really sorry for what happened to you.
As others have said before me, divorcing or forgiving her is your own choice that you will have to come to terms with yourself and no one else can help you make that decision.
I would just like to add my two cents and say this: Consider, if this woman told you before marrying you that she just broke up with her *married* ex-boyfriend two days ago whom also had gotten her pregnant, would you have married her? You may very well have, if you were that crazy in love, but I'm guessing any sensibly intelligent man would say no at that point.
Looking from this perspective, it appears to me that the reason she withheld this information was either for the purposes of obtaining a green card, or she is so deeply in love with you she couldn't bear to lose you. That's how it looks like to me, however, only you can decide what to do next.
It is possible that this woman truly did love you, but was scared that she would lose you if she told you all of the above, and hence, kept quiet. However, lying is no way to build a relationship in my opinion, much less marriage, the most important relationship of one's life.

If your truly in love with your fiancée then we understand your anger but no need to shout. You have to understand we here have NEVER met a 20 year old boy that has the maturity of a 37 year old woman (I personally don't think they exist) so we are very skeptical of your relationship. Still, if you think we are being harsh and disrespectful with our 'slight words' then you better check yourself because the consulate officer at the embassy will rip you a new A hole, that is, if the embassy doesn't outright deny your petition.

Well, I GUESS YOU TOLD ME!!!

fishin....lol yea what msheesha said.......but ya know, sometimes the family knows and give Oscar winning performances.
Jackie

The best advice is for him to go back online & do some more American/visa fishing 'cause that scenario will not be approved by Casa.

Why doesn't your family know? That's a bigger issue than the age difference, in my opinion.

don't blame me for any cravings.

I think she is just desperately in love with him and would rather rationalise away his bullshit then come to terms with the fact he is a creep. He was pretty much a creep when she was in the process of petitioning him. Maybe he is just glorious in the romance department and he is just able to sell her any bill of goods. I feel sorry for Olivia because I think she is a nice person totally in love with a manipulative sociopath. The minute he told her shes not good enough to be the mother of his kids, she needed to book it. He came with an IR1 if I am not mistaken and needs to get that golden citizenship ticket to be able to import a wife that he is ok with impregnating. The marriage will be over soon enough ( when he gets what he wants) so honestly, we should be kind to Olivia. Olivia, its not you, its him. Hes a twit and a user and has been this whole time. I dont think people really mean to imply that you are not bright. I think they just can see that hes a creep and have seen it for a while and you are making excuses for him that sound.. well.. not very bright. He is using you and when he gets what he needs hes out of there. He will then marry who feels DESERVES his seed and you need to either come to terms with that now and be willing to deal with it later or get out while you can. Hes not staying with you. Hes playing you. And you will see that the evil truth will come to pass later. If you want to stay in this, then just make some good friends, get a support group to help you survive whats inevitably coming. When you finally do meet a man who is not an arrogant jerkoff who honors you with wanting you to be the mother of his child, this will all seem like a bad dream.. At least you didnt get pregnant and me made you abort using this rationale. Imagine how you would feel thenPS. My daughter is 7. Her dad was MENA and before I got pregnant he was all lovey love. When I got pregnant, he said to me WHAT MADE YOU THINK I WOULD WANT A BABY WITH YOU? IF I HAD A CHILD IT WOULD BE WITH SOMEONE FROM MY OWN CULTURE. Needless to say, I left him 6 months pregnant and had my daughter and I have never regretted it since. The post mena import export relationship I got in afterwords turned out to be a total fantasy lie on his end ( my fantasy..his lie) and I got screwed.. ( You cant blame a girl for trying) But I have always been so happy that I had my kids and didnt miss out on being a mom due to some guys selfishness.
Keep your chin up. Please rethink this situation before your eggs are rotten and nothing will hatch..

Exactly what I was thinking, the info provided by Olivia can be found just about anywhere. All the mumbo-jumbo stats is a pile a garbage as far as I'm concerned. Olivia you can quote out of those books until your blue in the face if that makes you feel better about giving up your right to have children. But I know plenty of doctors, residents, nurses and other medical staff (I work for a large health care organization) and I would say that the information from those books never stopped the majority of medical folks from getting married OR having children.
In reality, LIFE is a risk. Period. Are you going to allow books or stats (or your husband) to control your life?
Like the above post, God forbid my husband and I divorced but if so, thank God, I have my children.

Secrets and what is between you and your husband should be kept just that way, a fact that is reiterated over and over again, here in VJ.
Having said that, I wish only the best for you, Olivia. I'm sorry you would have to deal with such "heartbreaking" and possible "deal breaker" of a decision. No women should cry knowing she may not have children, with the man she loves, over excuses.
To be fair to you, Olivia...I ask the following questions? Why did Waleed even move to the U.S.? He was a successful doctor in Egypt, yes? Was it just for the education here in the U.S.? If so, why not start a family here and then once he finishes residency and/or his fellowship, move to Egypt? We have two friends like this. One is currently looking for a residency program (she just had a baby, four weeks ago) and the other, just yesterday, was accepted by a program in Texas. Both are Muslim and both had children in the U.S.
My mother, who is Coptic btw, raised two Muslim children in the United States, by HERSELF after my father passed. It can be done. If your husband is seeing "American children" in a bad light perhaps moving to bigger city with more Muslims will show him CAN be done. Knowing Islam and speaking Arabic outside if the Middle East is really not that difficult with the right influences.
Like many of the others, I believe these are all excuses. He knows that as a Muslim, a baby brings happiness and rizq to a home. So he should have no need to worry because God will provide as He sees fit for your family once a baby is born. Also, doesn't his sister or brother live here in the U.S. with their children? Aren't they in medical school or something like that and raising Muslim/Arabic speaking kids? I don't know....it just sounds like excuses to me.
Anyhow, sorry you have to deal with this and that you may never have children. Hopefully the love you have for each other will get you through this. I must say though, being a mother is a wonderful thing. Really it is. I can't imagine my life without my two boys. I've always wanted to be a mama.

Exactly what I was thinking, the info provided by Olivia can be found just about anywhere. All the mumbo-jumbo stats is a pile a garbage as far as I'm concerned. Olivia you can quote out of those books until your blue in the face if that makes you feel better about giving up your right to have children. But I know plenty of doctors, residents, nurses and other medical staff (I work for a large health care organization) and I would say that the information from those books never stopped the majority of medical folks from getting married OR having children.
In reality, LIFE is a risk. Period. Are you going to allow books or stats (or your husband) to control your life?
Like the above post, God forbid my husband and I divorced but if so, thank God, I have my children.

Maybe she's just not that bright.
Which would be a good reason to not be a parent.

Agreed. How on earth is this not insulting and horribly offensive? If this country is good enough for me to study here, live here, work here, earn money, produce a man who I love enough to marry, then how is it suddenly not good enough to raise my children in? GAH. This stuff gets my goat.