I don't know of anyone who has actually, really, been denied exit by CFO but I have seen very significant delays, hassles, hardship etc created by CFO. They can be very difficult so it is often easiest to appease them and just file the ROM.
The NBI Clearance must include your surname as either "husband's name" OR as an AKA, wether your wife ever used it or not, because under Philippine law she is entitled to use it if she likes. As a legal name she it entitled to use it must be included on the NBI Clearance somehow.
A ROM for a Utah online marriage is filed with the Philippine Consulate in San Francisco and can be totally filed by mail from anywhere in the world that has functioning mail. https://pcgsanfrancisco.org/civil-registry/